Ruari Fairbairns from One Year No Beer is back to talk about his relationship with alcohol before and after he gave it up. In this episode, you’ll learn how giving up alcohol will revolutionize your life mentally, physically, and socially. You will also be given the tools you need to control your drinking with confidence and inspire people around you.
BEFORE ALCOHOL-FREE LIVING
Ruari Fairbairns was twelve years old the first time he got drunk. He saw adults do it and copied them. As he got older, he became the center of the party and the last man standing at the end of the night.
Ruari says he doesn’t think he had a bad relationship with alcohol. He didn’t drink alone at home. He never felt he needed it, but alcohol was part of his lifestyle, his career, and his social life. Even when he met his wife, they partied hard together.
But when it came time to start a family, it caused friction in his life. Ruari went out to binge drink two times a week, and his wife wasn’t happy about him coming home at four o’clock in the morning.
At first, he couldn’t see a way around living without alcohol. Alcohol was part of entertaining his clients. Drinking was part of being a man. Then Ruari became involved in an anger management program where he learned that caffeine and alcohol were the two biggest instigators. It was then that he decided to quit drinking for ninety days.
Ruari says that during that 90 days his whole life changed. A fog had been lifted away. He felt excitement and passion for life again. His ADHD and depression where gone. He couldn’t believe something so simple as not drinking could have such a profound effect on his life.
He decided to keep going and went two years without alcohol. Now his mission is to help others experience a more productive and fulfilling life without alcohol.
MOST PEOPE THINK “THIS IS GOING TO SUCK”
The fears most people have about quitting alcohol is that they will be bored and socially excluded. They’re thinking, No one’s going to like me. How am I going to have a good time? How am I going to go out with my wife and not have a cocktail?
But Ruari says that everything you’re thinking right now about why you can’t quit is bullshit. You’ll realize that when you get past it. Think back to when you were a kid. Did you need alcohol to have a good time? To stay up and play all night
ONE YEAR NO BEER
The One Year No Beer challenge educates people on how to exist and survive without drinking for 30 days to 90 days and beyond. The strategy is not to hide away. It’s to change your relationship with alcohol by creating new neuropathways in your brain.
Key to this thing is tribalism. One of the reasons people react negatively when you stop drinking because you are appearing to leave the tribe. People are made to question their own habit and that makes them fearful.
You are the total of the 5 people you spend the most time with. If you’re hanging around friends who drink, chances are you will be dragged into it. One Year No Beer builds a tribe for you so you have support while you’re doing the challenge. They have video groups, a Facebook group, and a forum community. They send daily emails and have courses. You’re able to belong to something while you step away briefly from your own tribe until you are strong enough to be among people who drink again.
DRINKING AND YOUR KIDS
As parents, we must lead by example. You can say what you like to your kids, but they will follow your actions before your words.
In the US 11% of alcohol consumed is by 12 to 20-year-olds. 90% of this consumption is in the form of binge drinking. It has been shown that young people who start early drink more heavily and more frequently than those who delayed their first drink. We know our kids are modeling our behavior. That is why it’s especially important for dads to set a good example by not relying on alcohol.
Many people feel like they need alcohol to bond with their spouses, but drinking actually kills your relationships. So many fights and arguments are triggered and spiral out of control when alcohol is involved. Going out and drinking together doesn’t build a long-term sustainable relationship.
Ruari says that step one for couples in distress is 90 days without booze. You can’t face any problems when you’re numbing yourself. You can connect on a deeper level when sober.
Have you ever added up the money you spend on alcohol? Not just cost of drinks, but the taxis to drive you home, the junk food you consume when your drunk, the price of the inevitable health consequences. Saving money is one more reason to take on a One Year No Beer Challenge.
THIS IS NOT FOREVER
Ruari decided two years was enough abstinence for him. Sometimes he drinks, but in total control. One Year No Beer challenges put control back in your hands so you can choose when you want to drink and when you don’t want to.
JOIN THE CHALLENGE!
Join the Good Dad Project community in a 28-Day Alcohol-Free challenge and rewire your brain so that YOU are in control of your drinking. Your family, your career, your liver and your pocket will thank you!
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Go to oneyearnobeer.com/gdp and get signed up for 20% off.
Don’t worry if you’ve caught this episode later. This discount will always be available for GDP listeners.
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