Level up your life through Ruthless Self Evaluation!
The last interview we had with Niyi Sobo was one of the best we have done to date. He shared so many different insights on having the right mentality, the importance of self-discipline, and how to level up your life through constant self-evaluation.
LEVEL UP YOUR LIFE by asking your family to evaluate you
Niyi shared one of the coolest (and scariest) things I have ever heard on any of our podcast guests to date. I have always been a man who wants to improve. I have no doubt if you are wanting to level up your life, you are also a man who constantly wants to improve. However, I have never thought about leveling up my own life by surveying my family. The fear of what they might say is pretty scary. Niyi clearly explained that he gives his family a weekly survey on how they think he is doing as a man, a father, and a husband. Think about that for a minute…he puts his guard down and risks humiliation from his family just so he can get very direct feedback on how he can improve.
I put this strategy into action and had my family evaluate me
Over dinner the other night I got out a dry erase board and came up with four areas my family could rate me.
- Listening: how well do I listen? Am I engaged? Do I listen my wife and kids when they speak? Am I distracted?
- Playing: Do I play with my kids enough? Do I say “no” too often when they ask me to play? Do I seem engaged when we play? I wanted to know their feedback because we truly only get a handful of years to play with them.
- Affection: Kids need physical and emotional reassurance that we care about them. I wanted to get their feedback on if I give them the hugs they need when they need them. Do I give them a pat on the back when they do something great? Do I pour words of encouragement into them when they need it or do they need more?
- What can Dad do better: This final category was open to feedback from them. This was the part of the survey that they could say anything they wanted.
The results of my family survey
I happy to report that my kids and wife gave me rave reviews on affection and playing. They all said I play with them plenty and I am an affectionate father. However, there was one glaring thing I needed to work on…Listening! My kids and my wife all agreed that active listening was a problem for me. The feedback I got was that I can be easily distracted by my mobile device and they have to say my name 2, 3, or even 4 times to get my attention!
It was tough to hear this feedback, however, it was extremely liberating. I asked the family: “What do I need to do to make this better?” The answers and the feedback was clear:
- When spoken to, look my kids and wife in the eyes and actively listen.
- No cell phones between the hours of 5pm-9pm.
- Pause the TV when someone is speaking or has a question.
I was able to put my ego aside and receive all this amazing feedback. I have to say, Niyi was right on point with this. I feel empowered now that I have that raw feedback to be a better listener.
Thanks for checking out this episode of Level Up Your Life!
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Niyi Sobo Website: Im Not You