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rob youngblood

Rob Youngblood on How To Successfully Raise A Family As a Single Dad

Rob Youngblood, TV personality, motivational speaker, victim of a Chuck Norris beating (LOL!), and single father with purpose comes on the GDP Podcast to talk about successfully raising kids through divorce.

Be the best version of yourself. It’s a wonderful phrase and so true, but when you don’t know who you really are in the first place, being the best version of you is nearly impossible. Rob Youngblood, former actor and news anchor and, currently, motivational speaker and coach, talks with the GDP about getting yourself to that best version as well as being a great dad, even in the face of difficult circumstances.

The Man in the Mirror

Sometimes we tell ourselves our lives are great, even when there is a storm of turmoil raging inside. The hardest part is facing the stuff we don’t like about ourselves, confronting the inner demons so we can be our best selves. Identifying and facing those issues is not easy, but it helps us grow and provides a great example for those who count on us.

Rob Youngblood on Prioritizing

Life will always throw curve balls. It’s what we do with these curve balls that defines who we are and our resiliency. Sometimes these challenges force us to choose between our personal wants and our responsibility to those who rely on us-AKA our children. These choices aren’t always easy to make, even though we love our children more than anything. Prioritizing our wants versus what we need to do puts the focus on what we deem important.

Be Real

As men, we a generally not known to be expressive with our feelings. We tend to bottle up our anger and frustration and sadness when we really should be sharing these emotions. Having a solid and trusting support system you can feel safe expressing these emotions in is crucial to our overall health and well-being.

Our lives inevitably change as we get older. Embracing these changes and providing a healthy example of how to manage these changes for our children will help us and our kids enjoy life that much more.

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Thanks for checking out this week’s show with Rob Youngblood

3 ways to improve your sex life

3 Ways to Improve Your Sex Life – GDP005

“3 Ways to Improve Your Sex Life” Episode Overview

In this episode, Larry Hagner and Shawn Stevenson talk about some shocking statistics about sex and marriage. Larry and Shawn share 3 ways to improve your sex life. These strategies include: ensuring husbands connect with their wives on an emotional level first; not rushing physical intimacy; and how a reduction in stress can improve sex.

Key Take-Aways – Statistics

Sex is a big part of marriage, especially for men. Most men show and receive their love in a physical manner. In a recent poll of over 50,000 Americans aged 21-50:

  • 60% of married couples are engaging in sex on a “somewhat regular basis” of weekly sex
  • 20% of married couples have sex about 2 times per week (Seems similar to frequency of new couples)
  • 40% of married couples have sex 1 time per week or 1 time every other week (Seems “semi-normal,” according to Shawn)
  • 15% of married couples have sex 1 time per month
  • 10% of married couples have sex 3-4 times per year
  • 15% of married couples have sex 0-1 time per year

 

Problem #1: Not Connecting with Your Partner on an Emotional Level Before a Physical Level

Before having sex, men must communicate with their partner on an emotional level. Check out a related podcast episode, “5 Ideas on How to Connect with Your Spouse”, where Larry and Shawn talk more about communicating and connecting with your partner.

Solution: Connect with your partner on an emotional level first!

Foreplay for a woman starts with her emotions, connectivity, and feelings of being understood and heard. Here are some tips:

1) Ask open-ended questions and not closed questions.

2) Ask questions that ascertain feelings and not just words.

3) Ask what, when, how, and why questions.

4) Don’t ask questions your partner can simply answer with “yes” or “no.” Examples:

  • “Tell me about the best part of your day.”
  • “Why?”
  • “Tell me more about that.”
  • “How did that make you feel?”

5) Observe your partner’s body language. Remember: 93% of all communication is through body language, gestures, and vocal tone. Look for the emotions/feelings she/he is sharing and not just words.

6) For more insight, check out “The 6 Human Needs” by Tony Robbins. These tie into our deepest fear in a relationship: Fear of not being enough, especially for the other person.

Problem #2: Rushing into Physical Intimacy

Most women are like ovens – they need to be preheated. Most men are like microwaves – they simply turn on.

Solution: Connect with your partner on an emotional level first!

Yes, this point so important that it’s being emphasized again. Here are some tips:

1) Engage in physical intimacy (i.e., hug and kiss) without an agenda during the day or week. Freely make these affectionate deposits into the love bank – instead of only hugging and kissing your partner as a precursor to sex that you plan to have in the next minute or so.

2) Remember: Foreplay begins in morning and throughout the day, especially if you plan on having sex that same evening. It can be a hug and kiss or doing something kind and helpful (i.e., helping around the house and with kids).

3) Physical affection can be best if you start with all other areas of her/his body besides the obvious body parts. Examples:

  • Cuddling
  • Massage shoulders, feet, back, etc.

 

Problem #3: Too Much Stress and Too Little Energy

Let’s face it: A big reason that people don’t have sex is that they don’t “feel” like it. This holds true for men, but especially for women.

Solution: Work, along with your partner, to set up things so that there’s less stress and less overexertion of herself/himself each day.

Stress will naturally wear down a person’s battery. Here are some tips:

1) Help with planning with the kids. Example: Pick-ups/Drop-offs for school and activities.

2) Scheduling and execution of household duties. Examples:

  • Larry’s wife handles the lion’s share of household duties, as Larry handles the lion’s share of work outside the house — but Larry has his duties at home, too, and he gets them done (period).
  • Kids have their assignments, enforced by Larry.
  • Larry understands the things that really depress his wife’s mood the most, and he helps in those areas.

3) Find creative ways that you can take things off of your collective plates. It’s just going to free up more energy for each other.  😉

4) Encourage and help your partner exercise on a consistent basis. You can spend some quality time to workout or train together. Exercise has physical benefits, such as increased energy and overall health. Exercise also has emotional benefits, such as feeling better about your body and health in addition to increased confidence.

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Links Mentioned In This Episode

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Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Good Dad Project. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a quick rating and review of the show on iTunes by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!

How to connect with your spouse

5 Ideas On How To Connect With Your Spouse – GDP003

“5 Ideas on How to Connect with Your Spouse” Episode Overview

Larry Hagner and Shawn Stevenson share five ideas on how to connect with your spouse. They discuss some of the common challenges of marriage and how to overcome them with easy strategies.

Key Take-Aways

Intimacy gets lost when we get too busy and don’t make the time to truly connect with our spouse. The best way to connect with her/him is through communication, having a real conversation. Larry and Shawn discuss some of the common challenges of marriage and how to overcome lost connection and intimacy with five easy strategies.

The Problem: Limited Time to Connect

We have limited time in the day to connect with our spouse. We have demands of work, homework, extra curricular activities with kids, our health, hobbies, quality time with our kids and family.

At times, there is very little time to connect during the day. We can be exhausted from the day. We burn the candle on both ends. We “check out” when we get home. When we don’t make time for our spouse, we can potentially lose our connection. We lose intimacy.

Idea #1: Go on Once a Month (or More) Dates

Couples who do not take time with each other one-on-one can lose their connection. Your dates have to be something that gives you a platform where you can communicate and catch up. You should be in a situation where you will be able to hear each other and hold a conversation.

One suggestion would be to have Date Night more than once a month. Another suggestion would be to have an annual Date Day, where you spend the whole day and evening together. A third suggestion would be to have a mini date night or day, where you spend a few hours together. You could go out to dinner or just hang out together doing something simple.

Here are some tips to have a successful Date Night or Date Day:

  • You must schedule it.
  • Book a babysitter.
  • Make reservations for dinner at your favorite place.
  • No movies, concert, or plays: It must be interactive between the two of you.

 

Idea #2: Take 10 Minutes Every Day Before Bed to Catch Up

This time is sacred. Before bed may be the only time you and your spouse have to really connect with one another by having a meaningful conversation. A huge driving force for women, especially, is to be heard. There is something special and transformative about lying in bed together and having real pillow talk.

Here are some tips to have a fulfilling 10 minutes:

  • Ask open ended questions: What; When; Why; How. The more questions your spouse can answer without simply answering “yes” or “no”, the better.
  • Hold hands or physically touch (ex., give a backrub/massage) during your conversation.
  • No TV, iPad, or phones during your 10 minutes.

Jack Canfield (author of Chicken Soup for the Soul series) wrote a book called The Success Principles. In his book, Jack mentions that he and his wife share five things they appreciate about each other every night before bed.

Verbally acknowledge 3-5 things you appreciate about each other. Feeling significant is a human need, and hearing those things are powerful.

Idea #3: Talk or Text Throughout Your Day

Communicate on a daily basis or throughout the day. Call or text during the day to “check in” and let your partner s/he is in your thoughts. A useful tip would be to keep your interaction lighthearted and make your spouse laugh or make your spouse feel appreciated. Long-term happiness is related to gratitude and appreciation.

A suggested number of times is at least three times per day. We generally eat three times a day. Why not take some time there to communicate with our life partner?

Here are two helpful suggestions when talking/texting:

  • Make it a point to communicate via text or phone call to pay a compliment about something specific.
  • Don’t just give a simple “l love you.” The communication has to be something with more thought and specifics. Why do you love your spouse?

 

Idea #4: Pay a Genuine Compliment at Least 3 Times a Day (For 1 Week)

This strategy ties in with Idea #3: Talk or Text Throughout Your Day. Be aware of your spouse and her/his needs.

Of course, feel free to pay daily genuine compliments for more than just one week. One week is simply a good starting point to help turn the act of paying a genuine compliment into a positive habit.

Here are two important guidelines when giving compliments:

  • It has to be something specific.
  • It must be something important, empowering, and impactful for your spouse.

 

Idea #5: Choose to Love Your Spouse

The first 90 days or so of a relationship are linked to primal chemistry, the initial stage of the honeymoon phase where flaws are commonly overlooked. Love is more than a feeling. To really love someone is to make a purposeful choice.

Learning to love is a skill. Love is a practice, something you have to cultivate and take care of in your relationship. You have to take loving your partner upon yourself by making love a study. Learn from examples of others whose relationships who are more than happy and who you admire. Read books and seek out advice.

Choose to look at your spouse with gratitude and appreciation. Choose to be positive and have a happy perspective. Choose love.

 

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Perfect Supplements, our Good Dad Project Sponsor

Thank You!

Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Good Dad Project. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a quick rating and review of the show on iTunes by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!