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The Dangers of Perfection

The Dangers of Perfection


Do you go at life alone? If you’re like 99% of the men out there, you probably are. Most men bear the weight of the world on their shoulders and tell everyone who asks that they’re “good” and “fine”. They don’t want to ask for advice or help because their afraid of looking weak.

But the dangers of perfection are real and the stress that accumulates from internalizing our fears and worries seeps into everything we do as men, husbands, and fathers.

Thursday Throwdown is our short show with everyday, relatable dads. Today we have Dad Edge Alliance member Brian Auten on to share his experience.

Being raised in a church, Brian was taught that he was supposed to be a good boy, the nice guy who took everything with a smile. It was important to not have any issues and to maintain the appearance of perfection, but the truth was that he was living a lie. Brian did get angry about things. He did have stress and worries. He realized that he didn’t have the perfect marriage, and he wasn’t the perfect dad either.

He decided that enough was enough. Holding in negative emotions put him in a bad mood with his wife and kids. Pretending everything was okay made his life stagnant. He needed help, and he needed to be proactive about getting it.

'I’m not going to tolerate crap in my life anymore.'—Brian Auten, The Dad Edge Alliance #men #dads #fathers #brotherhood #ownership #tribe Click To Tweet

'It’s like priming the pump. If you give a little, you realize there’s a lot more inside you to give.'—Brian Auten, The Dad Edge Alliance #mastermind #men #manhood #brotherhood Click To Tweet

 

MENTIONED EPISODES: 
How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood

Showing Leadership to Your Kids by Going First

7 Reasons Why Men Don’t Ask for Help

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If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


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Wild at Heart with John Eldredge

Wild at Heart with John Eldredge

The Dad Edge Podcast is honored beyond words to have John Eldredge on the show. He is the author of the bestselling book Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul and is here to talk about our core needs as men and our constant quest for validation.

He also shares life-changing insights on how to become a student of our child’s heart and interpret their experiences for them so that they can become happier, stronger adults.

 

On being a dad: 'It’s not about perfection. It’s about love.' – John Eldredge @ransomedheart #dads #fathers #fatherhood #parenting Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • The inspiration for John Eldredge’s book, Wild at Heart
  • How we are in the midst of the collapse of gender
  • Why guys are confused on what it means to be a man
  • How men can be restored by doing internal work
  • Why most men don’t know they have a genuine strength to offer the world
  • How most of us ‘fake it’ through life, but inside, we doubt who we are
  • What things men are compensating for
  • Why men are so afraid to fail
'The number one ingredient for a child's success is having a dad who cares and who is involved.' – John Eldredge @ransomedheart #dads #fathers #fatherhood #parenting Click To Tweet
  • What it means to be a student of your child’s heart and why you need to become one
  • How to start giving your kids low-grade challenges to build their confidence
  • How to also implement low-grade failures so they can discover that they will survive through setbacks
  • How looking to your kid as a source of personal validation is damaging
  • How to wire your parenting for each child
  • How to be a dad to daughters
  • How a father defines his daughters identity
  • What a father can do to ensure his daughter trusts masculine strength
  • What to do when you blow up and anger
  • How to not let your child’s feelings turn into ‘agreements’ or negative conclusions about life
  • How to take the power of validation away from high-pressure situations
'A man will design his entire life to avoid anything that might expose him, and to only stay in the areas where he is getting some validation.' – John Eldredge @ransomedheart #men #dads #fathers #masculinity #comfortzone #fear… Click To Tweet

We appreciate all the support!

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.

We read a review on the show each week. The next one could be yours!

 


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John Eldredge’s Links

Website

Facebook

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Amazon

iTunes


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THE DAD EDGE SUMMIT 2018

JUNE 7TH – 9TH – ST. LOUIS

Are you an extraordinary father looking to accelerate in all aspects of your life?
Are you looking to connect to like-minded Dads that want to come together to strengthen and grow in their abilities both personally and professionally?
The Dad Edge 2018 Summit (Live Event) will set you up to do exactly that.

LEARN MORE


Resources

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Create an Epic Life

join The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance

Using the Past to Become a Better Dad with Former NFL Player Billy Miller

Using the Past to Become a Better Dad with Former NFL Player Billy Miller

Today we are psyched to have Former NFL player and Super Bowl Champion Billy Miller on The Dad Edge Podcast. Most of the time we only see sports stars on the field or getting interviewed after the game. They have to give their camera-ready answers about the team’s performance, but rarely do we see the husband, the father, or the man behind the athlete.

In this episode, Billy Miller opens up his world to us. He delves into his rough childhood as the son of two drug addicts, his battle against depression, and how he uses his difficult past as a reference to become the best dad he can possibly be. He also talks about maintaining a circle of intimate friends, co-parenting with his ex-wife, and how he keeps work separate from his family.

'We are built, as men, to change.' – former NFL Player, Billy Miller @billymiller83 #men #dads #fathers #fatherhood #manhood Click To Tweet

Billy Miller

From the time Billy can remember, his parents were addicted to drugs. He’d wake up on a Saturday morning, make himself breakfast, lunch, dinner, go to bed, wake up, and do the same thing all over again for days. Billy was alone a lot and had to learn to take care of himself. He was forced to grow up quickly.

Billy’s dad was abusive to his mom and him. He also went to prison several times. Billy didn’t think anything of it because it became his normal.

As he got older, Billy moved to a much nicer area called West Lake Village. His new school was a total culture shock and a blessing for him. Billy is half white and half black, but he had never spoken a word to another white person except to his mom and his grandmother until he was thirteen-years-old.

In West Lake Village, Billy saw how parents could get along and how healthy families functioned. He realized very early how important being a father was. He noticed that every single word his father said resonated within him. He held onto this realization until he became a dad himself.

'It's those moments where you're becoming a reflection of your past that you know you're doing the best learning of what not do to as a father.' – former NFL Player, Billy Miller @billymiller83 #dads #fathers #men #fatherhood #legacy Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • How Billy suffered a bout of deep depression after he was done playing football
  • How depression helped him develop humility
  • What you need in addition to the desire to change
  • How we as men be better at asking for help
  • How to be honest about how you feel with your kids
  • How to show your kids how to be vulnerable
  • How being competitive lessens the chances of a man’s success
  • The trusted and honest relationship he had with his tribe of intimate friends
  • How to start a men’s group
  • How to deepen relationships with existing friends to go beyond the ordinary
  • About Billy’s divorce
  • How he coparents with his ex-wife
  • How couples can coparent peacefully and successfully even if they don’t get along
  • Why he didn’t talk to his brother for a long time
  • Why he hates when dads are not involved
  • How to not bring stress home to your kids, even when under the pressure of a job like playing in the NFL
  • How to come home and be superman
'Don't wait till the last minute. Don't wait to the bottom of the bottom to ask for help.'– former NFL Player, Billy Miller @billymiller83 #men #depression #stress #mentalhealth Click To Tweet

We appreciate all the support!

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.


Billy Miller’s Links

Twitter

Instagram

'Being a dad was vastly more important than anything I was doing.' – former NFL Player, Billy Miller @billymiller83 #dads #fathers #sports #NFL #parenting Click To Tweet

Resources

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Create an Epic Life

join The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance

Wake Up the Hero with Wes Chapman

Wake Up the Hero with Wes Chapman

The story you’re about to hear is unlike anything we’ve ever had on this show before. Today we have mega-entrepreneur, Wes Chapman. He has been featured in Forbes, Inc., CBS, ABC, Tech Crunch and TEDx. He is a husband, a father of two, and the founder of A Human Project.

Wes may seem like the picture of success, but he has a dark and painful past that many would not survive. From the time he was born, Wes was physically, sexually, and mentally abused. He was abandoned by his father and then his mother. Then he was put into group homes and psych wards where doctors told him that his mental and emotional problems would prevent him from ever living a normal life.

Wes Chapman believes that absolute self-honesty is the key to healing and he is pure proof. In this episode, he shares the story of his incredible transformation, and how he triumphed over victimhood to wake up the hero within.

We only understand what we’ve endured. @wesleydchapman #abuse Click To Tweet

Wes Chapman

Wes Chapman was so neglected as an infant, that at 3 1/2 months old he was diagnosed as having failure to thrive, which means he didn’t grow and develop properly because his physical and emotional needs were not being met.

Shortly after that, his father left his mother and she married a man that Wes can only describe as pure evil. At the hands of this man, Wes endured physical, sexual, and emotional trauma until he was 6 years old.

Wes’s mom soon gave up on raising him. He was put into the system and spent the next year in and out of psych hospitals. Doctors considered him “broken” and that the best they could do was medicate him and keep him institutionalized, but one day, a woman walked into is life. She became Wes’s mom and hero.

Fast forward to today – Wes has overcome his trauma and victimhood and helps other children and adults do the same. He believes in what he calls H cubed.

  • Honesty
  • Healing
  • Hope
The important thing is not the stuff that happened, but the awakening that occurred. @wesleydchapman #trauma #abuse #healing Click To Tweet

Show Highlights

  • How Wes’s step father literally put him and his siblings in the doghouse. He made them wear a collar and chained them to the fence.
  • How Wes used to wake up in cold sweats watching his sister get molested.
  • How once in a psychiatric hospital, he beat the walls until his fists bled. This was in a padded room.
  • How a voice inside him decided not to tolerate his existence.
  • The remarkable story of the woman who took him in and cared for him.
  • The powerful idea behind H-cubed (Honesty, Healing, Hope).
  • How he finally got over his sexual abuse and was able to develop empathy toward the men who abused him.
  • How he became addicted to success in such a negative way that he had to walk away from everything.
  • His epiphany when he finally knew that his purpose and passion was to be like the woman who saved him and help others like him.
  • How he stalked Gary Vaynerchuk.
  • Why we need to stop wasting time and energy making up for our weaknesses and put all our effort into our gifts.
  • What manhood really is all about.
The only way you can take care of your own shit, is to take care of it with yourself. @wesleydchapman Click To Tweet

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Visit kindsnacks.com/gooddad

 

 

We appreciate all the support!

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.

Vulnerability is power. @wesleydchapman #vulnerability #dads #men #fathers Click To Tweet

Connect with Wes Chapman

wesleydchapman.com

Twitter

Facebook

Instagram

 


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Daddy Will Always Love and Protect You

Links


Are you ready to create an epic life

YES, I AM!

Dad Edge Alliance

The Mask of Masculinity with Lewis Howes

The Mask of Masculinity with Lewis Howes

Today we have an unbelievable episode with Lewis Howes. For those of you who don’t know him, Lewis Howes is the host of the hugely popular The School of Greatness podcast and the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The School of Greatness.

Lewis Howes is one of the most sought after speakers today and has appeared all over the media, including just recently on Ellen. His new book is called The Mask of Masculinity, and Lewis Howes completely sheds his mask for us in this show.

You will hear things that will shock you as well as things that will inspire you. This is one episode you will never forget.

The more I talk about things that used to be shameful for me, the less they own me. @LewisHowes Click To Tweet

Lewis Howes

Lewis Howes had big dreams to be an athlete. His goal in life was to get paid for having fun and he was on the road to his dreams, making it into arena football and setting his sights on the NFL, until a wrist injury ended his career.

His whole identity revolved around sports, and at 23 years old with a massive ego, he had no idea what to do with himself. His family was troubled and his father, who had been his biggest supporter during his sports career, got into a tragic accident that left him mentally and emotionally stunted. Lewis had to learn how to be a man on his own, and took the past decade to reinvent himself into the person you see today.

Share the thing that you’re most afraid of in a way that makes sense for you. @LewisHowes Click To Tweet

Show Highlights

  • How both the good and bad sides of his father shaped him.
  • What his parents miserable relationship taught him about marriage.
  • How his brother went to prison for over four years when Lewis was just 8-years-old.
  • How both of his sisters attempted suicide.
  • How he was raped when he was a little boy.
  • The moment he spoke about his sexual abuse and how it freed him.
  • Why he was terrified to write his book, The Mask of Masculinity.
  • Why woman would also want to read The Mask of Masculinity.
  • How holding onto shame and secrets becomes a man’s prison.
  • Why he has no desire to have kids … yet.
Be the alien that you are, and find the other aliens that accept you. @LewisHowes Click To Tweet

give KIND a try

GDP exclusive

10 snack variety pack plus a monthly snack subscription

Visit kindsnacks.com/gooddad

The thing you fear the most, wear it. @LewisHowes Click To Tweet

Connect with Lewis Howes

lewishowes.com

maskofmasculinity.com

Twitter

Facebook

Instagram

Amazon


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Daddy Will Always Love and Protect You

Links


Are you ready to create an epic life

YES, I AM!

Dad Edge Alliance