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tim kennedy

The Real, Transparent, Imperfect Dad with Tim Kennedy

As fathers, it’s our natural instinct to act like everything is under control. We don’t want our kids to see us failing or hurting. We don’t want to appear weak. But true strength lies in being real, and if we don’t allow our kids watch how we navigate the ups and downs in life, they won’t know how to deal with adversity themselves.

We have an awesome guest for you today. Green Beret, Special Forces Sniper, and former top 5 UFC Middleweight, Tim Kennedy, is on The Dad Edge! He is one of the few fighters to serve in the military and fight professionally at the same time. Tim’s the creator of Sheepdog Response, a training program that gives good guys the tools they need to effectively respond to violence. He’s also been married for 13 years and is the father of four kids.

Tim Kennedy talks about how his parents balanced nurturing, protection, and damage control. He tells us why he appreciates the highs and lows of parenthood. He also reveals his biggest failures in life and why being a real, transparent, imperfect dad is what our kids really need.

“You’ve got to let your kids have room to spread their wings. You have to give them enough rope to literally hang themselves, which I did.”—Tim Kennedy

Tim Kennedy

Timothy Kennedy is a retired, professional mixed martial artist who has competed in the UFC’s Middleweight division. He has also formerly competed for Strikeforce, the WEC, ShoMMA, HDNet Fights and represented the Chicago Red Bears in the IFL. Kennedy is one of the few fighters to simultaneously serve in the United States Army National Guard while also fighting professionally.

Tim Kennedy is a Ranger qualified, Green Beret, Special Forces Sniper with tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, as well as other locations around the globe. Tim serves with the Special Operations Detachment (A) as a Senior Special Forces Weapons Sergeant.

Married with has three daughters and a son, Kennedy played himself in the Indie film Range 15 and is a co-owner of Ranger Up, a military-based clothing company.

Sheepdog Response

The sheepdog exists to protect the vulnerable from the wolves. People face threats of violence every day, ranging from large-scale terrorism to one-on-one assaults. Most people are unprepared, unequipped, and untrained to respond effectively. This weakness in the flock allows the wolves to attack with great ease and success. This is precisely why Sheepdog Response has developed a curriculum that addresses the skills you need to successfully respond to threats.

“Hurry up and fail.”—Tim Kennedy

What You’ll Learn

  • Tim’s mother’s simple parenting strategy— “When they’re young, you keep the blood in the body and clean them occasionally.”
  • The balance of damage control, protection, and nurturing
  • Giving yourself room to succeed or fail
  • Resilience strengthens like a muscle. You can’t build it unless you do reps until failure.
  • Appreciating the highs and lows of parenthood
  • Why transparency is good for your kids
  • Time is a precious commodity. Try to be as strategic with your time as much as possible.
  • Strive for success but not at the expense of your marriage and kids.
  • How Tim stays humble
  • Why it’s a lack of masculinity, not an excess, that is causing violence.
  • The only way you can be tender is if you have the ability to be strong.
  • If you’re weak, you don’t have the capacity to be gentle.
  • To be a powerful leader, you also have to have humility.
  • Your daughters will choose their man depending what they see you do—how you treat your spouse, how you speak with hate, how you react to the world.
  • Be a real, transparent, and imperfect dad. What’s important is that your kids see you try your hardest.
  • Why dads should take family security more seriously after the pandemic
  • The working titles of Tim Kennedy’s upcoming book!

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Pulling the Positive from Failures with UFC Champion Frankie Edgar

Pressure, Perseverance, and Fatherhood with UFC Fighter James Krause

How to Persevere In Spite of Fear with Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman

 


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how to persevere in spite of fear

How to Persevere In Spite of Fear with Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman


Today I’m having a conversation with former UFC fighter and bestselling author of Driven: The Unlikely Journey from Classroom to Cage. He is also a podcast host, a speaker, a husband and a dad. Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman is back on the show for his third episode!

We’re going to have an authentic conversation about how to approach life as a constant learner, how to live by your core values, and how to find work that makes you come alive. We also discuss how to teach our kids extreme ownership, how to accept our fears and take action in spite of them, and how to keep momentum while pursuing our goals even when we feel like giving up.

I’m talking to the inner voice in all of us that feels alone and that feels like we can’t do it.

 

Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman

Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman is a professional mixed martial arts fighter, speaker and mentor. Following a successful high school wrestling career, Charlie took his talents to Lock Haven University where he achieved a top 12 finish at Division I Nationals and 1st Team All-Academic. After teaching Spanish for three years and winning Spike TV’s Pros vs. Joes, Charlie decided to leave his job to pursue a master’s degree and begin his professional fighting career—“The Spaniard” was born. In 2011, he was ranked as high as #7 in the world. “The Spaniard” has fought at the highest level of the sport in three countries. He currently lives in PA with his wife, daughter and son where he has transitioned to speaking, writing, and hosting The Spaniard Podcast about learning, acquiring wisdom and toughness through books, conversations and interviews, and training.

To do anything great, to pursue anything worthy, it takes hard work, it takes consistency, and it takes commitment. Sometimes people need an example.

What You’ll Learn

  • How to be physically and mentally primed to be a dad and husband
  • Charlie’s 3 fitness goals
    • to be able to kick butt
    • to defend himself and his family
    • be able to run a 15 mile obstacle race on any day
  • How he does 1000 pushups in 40 minutes
  • How physical fitness instills confidence
  • How Charlie transitioned to speaking and writing after his fighting career was over
  • About his 7 episode-a-week podcast, The Spaniard
  • How, contrary to belief, fighters do experience fear
  • How Charlie acknowledges that he is afraid, self-conscious, and anxious and keeps going anyway
  • Why we need to get over the idea that fear is weakness
  • How to distract yourself from negative thoughts
  • Charlie’s greatest fears as a father
  • How he had to reframe his ideas about his kids, allowing them to become what they want and not who he wants them to be
  • Resisting the trap of living vicariously through your kids’ activities
  • How to teach kids integrity and live that example as well
  • Why as a father, you must be open an honest when you make a mistake, explaining things and admitting your faults not matter how young your kids are
  • How to find the work that makes you come alive
  • Charlie’s mission for his podcast—to help listeners of all ages develop character, perseverance, and resilience
  • His advice for those who want to create something
  • How to have the courage to keep going even when times get tough
  • How to get beyond surface doubt and tap into your heart and soul
  • How to overcome the overwhelm of getting started
  • Being prepared to play the long game
  • How to enjoy the moment of the success in the face of new goals
  • His best marital advice—Read The 5 Love Languages
  • The best part of his marriage—How his wife’s body has changed since becoming a mother
  • The most satisfying part of being a father and the most challenging parts
  • Charlie’s challenge! Read a book, take a pic, post it tagging Charlie, and he’ll retweet/share it to his audience @charliespaniard.

Don’t take your frustrations out on other people, especially your kids


MENTIONED EPISODES:

Charlie Brenneman: How to Live a Life of Excellence

Brenneman vs. Hagner: The Good Dad Project Interview

How to Break the Cycle of the Fixed Mindset with Larry Yatch

How to Instill the Growth Mindset in Your Kids with Larry Yatch

Secrets of the Navy SEAL Mindset: Courage, Confidence, Perseverance and Resilience

Extreme Ownership for Fathers with Leif Babin


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Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman’s links

Website

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Podcast

Amazon

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Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

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Pulling the Positive from Failures with UFC Champion Frankie Edgar

Pulling the Positive from Failures with UFC Champion Frankie Edgar

We know our kids are going to fail and that they’re going to be disappointed. Pulling the positive lessons from failures can help kids use losses as stepping stones to greatness. But what happens when we as fathers fail?

Today we have Frankie Edgar on the show for a return visit. He was the UFC Lightweight Champion of UFC 112 and is a husband and a dad.

Frankie risks crushing failure every time he steps into the ring. Naturally, it’s no fun losing a fight, but he knows that his kids are watching. Listen to how Frankie sets a champion’s example of pulling the positive from failures and how he draws the line between family and fighting.

'The best thing to show your kid is that everyone gets knocked down. But it’s not about getting knocked down. It’s about how you react to it.' – @FrankieEdgar #MMA #UFC #fatherhood #family #failure Click To Tweet

Frankie Edgar

Frankie Edgar was born and grew up in Toms River, New Jersey where he first started wrestling in high school. After college, he got into mixed martial arts and his career took off. Frankie Edgar is now known as “The Answer.” He has 9 year old and 8 year old sons and a 4 year old daughter.

'I feel like the training mode's easy. The family mode is tricky sometimes.' – @FrankieEdgar #family #dads #men #fathers #fatherhood #dadlife Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • What wrestling taught him about life
  • How he became mentally and physically tough
  • Balancing family life as a pro-athlete
  • How he becomes present in whatever he’s doing
  • How he cultivates his laser-like focus
  • How he faces his kids after he loses a fight
  • How he teaches his kids to own their own failures
  • What it’s like being a husband as a UFC fighter
  • The example Frankie’s father set for him
  • How it’s not always about being the rough guy, but being happy
  • How he still dates his wife
  • The difference in raising a daughter
  • The number one thing he wants to teach his kids
'You can’t think for your kids. You want to build them so they make the right decisions on their own.' – Frankie Edgar #parenting #dads #men #fathers Click To Tweet

MENTIONED EPISODE: Frankie Edgar on Life Lessons from the Octagon


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Frankie Edgar’s Links

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the good dad project

Brenneman vs. Hagner: The Good Dad Project Interview

In this episode, Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman turns the tables and puts Good Dad Project creator and host Larry Hagner in the spotlight. Learn all about the humble beginnings of The Good Dad Project and what it’s like to interview amazing guests. You’ll also hear about Larry’s mastermind groups, how he balances work and family, and why he hates his first name.

Larry Hagner

Larry had been married to his wife for fourteen years and is the father to four boys. Yes. Four. Aged eleven, nine, three, and one. He says parenting four boys is chaos and he couldn’t do it without a sense of humor. He and his wife refer to the kids as “the drunk people” because they talk nonsense, miss the toilet when they pee, and show up to dinner without pants.

The Good Dad Project

The Good Dad Project is a blog and a podcast with over 200 hundred shows logged featuring NY Times bestselling authors, professional athletes, famous fighters, motivational speakers, and Navy SEALS. Larry Hagner is the author of two books, a children’s book and a guidebook for dads. He is a mastermind facilitator and manages huge community of dads from across the world.

Larry offers The Dad Edge free private Facebook group where men discuss anything and everything. He also has two tiers of mastermind groups: The Dad Edge Alliance and the Elite Mastermind. He credits his business model from combining what he’s learned from his close friends and mentors, Aaron Walker from View from the Top and Ryan Michler from Order of Man.

On Being a Connector

Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman knows Larry Hagner’s connecting abilities first hand. Larry agrees that being a connector is his strength. Larry relies heavily on the radical relationships he has formed and feeds those relationships by branching out to other likeminded individuals. Why not share fantastic people with other fantastic people?

The Power of Talking

In a society where everything is automated and fast, talking is grossly underrated. But Larry Hagner believes in getting personal in the men his mastermind groups. He hosts calls every week on the Zoom platform where everyone can talk and view each other on video.

He could easily have a landing page where anyone can access the group, but Larry calls each and every man to approve them first. This takes a lot of time and effort, but what goes on in the mastermind is very personal and the call beforehand starts the relationship off on the right foot.

These groups create a dynamic, ever-changing synergy. In one-to-one coaching, the client only gets one perspective, but in a mastermind group, he will get a variety of perspectives, answers, and strategies. This is the value of a tribe, something we’ve lost as a society and mastermind groups fill that void.

The Vision

When Larry first started his groups, he was terrified. Would they men like it? Would they stay? Because of this, he constantly asks for feedback and remains open to criticism. What is the need out there? Negative feedback used to hurt his feelings, but now he sidesteps his ego so he can get better. He strives to bring more value to his shows and groups every day.

The Growth of GDP

After one year of steady podcasting, Larry only hit 50K downloads. He was frustrated, but stayed the course. He started really paying attention to which shows the audience responded to according to download numbers and audience emails.

Just one more year of sticking with the show, The Good Dad Project has reached 1 million downloads and is gaining momentum.

Playing the Long Game

Growing a show and cultivating a community took extreme patience on Larry’s part. At one point, he had to take out of his retirement for website and production expenses, but he kept the faith.

He says that if you would do what you’re doing for free, and you pay attention to the needs of the people you are helping, then you will eventually be successful. Passion will not do it alone. You also need the right recipe and you must keep learning and changing till you find the right one.

There’s no way around putting in the hard work.

Overcoming Self-doubt

Larry always had the desire to educate and improve himself. Five years ago, he was not the man or the father he wanted to be, and the GDP was his way of educating himself.

He now can’t imagine being a father without The Good Dad Project in his life. His kids would suffer and he would suffer. This is why Larry is determined to keep the project growing. It has become larger than himself. At this point, he knows he has to deliver to his audience all the time and in a big way so he can also deliver these same things home.

Related Episodes: 

Porn – Why We Watch It, When It’s a Problem, and How to Stop with Nell Daly

Charlie Brenneman: How to Live a Life of Excellence

Working to Live, Not Living to Work with Aaron Walker

How Your Tribe Will Make You a Better Man with Ryan Michler


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Daddy Will Always Love and Protect You

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James Krause

Pressure, Perseverance, and Fatherhood with UFC Fighter James Krause

What does an ultimate fighter and a good dad have in common? UFC fighter James Krause tells us about perseverance and pressure and how he thrives off uncertainty and challenge. He also talks about being a father to his 2-year-old girl and how he came to adopt his little sister.

James Krause is an American professional mixed martial artist and entrepreneur, currently competing in the lightweight division of the UFC. He’s also featured on FOX Sports’ reality show, The Ultimate Fighter.

James Krause was born in Newport News, Virginia. His parents divorced when he was two years old. His mother moved them to Missouri where they lived in extreme poverty, sometimes surviving on only $400 a month.

In school, James was physically behind. He was small and got picked on a lot.  At the age of nineteen or twenty, he decided to try mixed martial arts. He didn’t get into fighting with the intention of competing. He wanted to learn how to defend himself and build confidence. He fell in love with the physical act and the fact that a smaller person could defeat a larger person.

You don’t have to be talented to be great.

Perseverance

James Krause says that people don’t succeed because they stop learning. People forget what hard work is and their lives become stagnant.

James never stops learning. He trains every day for the UFC, and he applies the same model to all aspects of his life. Including business, marriage, and fatherhood. He believes in intelligent repetition can allow him to accomplish goals much faster, but it takes passion to persevere. If you want to become successful at something, you must be willing to do it for fee. Hard work beats talent.

If you do something long enough and you just don’t quit, you have no choice than to become good by default.

Pressure

As a fighter, James Krause is subjected to extreme pressure, not just from the challenge of fighting his opponent, but being in front of a live audience as well as on TV. How does he push through the pressure? James says uncertainty and challenge have become essential to his growth. The only way to deal with pressure is to continuously put yourself through it. Embrace and repurpose opportunity, and objectively look at the situation without emotions.

Fatherhood

James Krause’s daughter was born two years ago. When his stepfather died of cancer and his mother ended up in prison, he also adopted his little sister who has been living with him for almost a year. It wasn’t something he and his wife planned to do, but they have been making it work. He looks at it from a positive perspective and thinks it’s one of the best things that could’ve happened to his little sister. Now that she is with him, she can become a much greater person than she would have if she had been raised by his mother.

Life Lessons for His Girls

James Krause never went through phases of drinking and partying in his youth. He feels he learned life lessons before most other people, so he expects more from his kids in advance. He says that some people are a product of their environment and won’t change, but he also knows that everything can be taught and everything can be learned. Being a genuinely good person also goes a long way. James believes that whatever you put out into the world, you will get back.

I don’t expect perfection, but I expect greatness.

 

Watch James Krause on The Ultimate Fighter
FOX Sports Wednesdays at 9pm CST

 



Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

James Krause’s Links

Facebook

Instagram

Twitter

The Ultimate Fighter


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