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how to persevere in spite of fear

How to Persevere In Spite of Fear with Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman


Today I’m having a conversation with former UFC fighter and bestselling author of Driven: The Unlikely Journey from Classroom to Cage. He is also a podcast host, a speaker, a husband and a dad. Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman is back on the show for his third episode!

We’re going to have an authentic conversation about how to approach life as a constant learner, how to live by your core values, and how to find work that makes you come alive. We also discuss how to teach our kids extreme ownership, how to accept our fears and take action in spite of them, and how to keep momentum while pursuing our goals even when we feel like giving up.

I’m talking to the inner voice in all of us that feels alone and that feels like we can’t do it.

 

Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman

Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman is a professional mixed martial arts fighter, speaker and mentor. Following a successful high school wrestling career, Charlie took his talents to Lock Haven University where he achieved a top 12 finish at Division I Nationals and 1st Team All-Academic. After teaching Spanish for three years and winning Spike TV’s Pros vs. Joes, Charlie decided to leave his job to pursue a master’s degree and begin his professional fighting career—“The Spaniard” was born. In 2011, he was ranked as high as #7 in the world. “The Spaniard” has fought at the highest level of the sport in three countries. He currently lives in PA with his wife, daughter and son where he has transitioned to speaking, writing, and hosting The Spaniard Podcast about learning, acquiring wisdom and toughness through books, conversations and interviews, and training.

To do anything great, to pursue anything worthy, it takes hard work, it takes consistency, and it takes commitment. Sometimes people need an example.

What You’ll Learn

  • How to be physically and mentally primed to be a dad and husband
  • Charlie’s 3 fitness goals
    • to be able to kick butt
    • to defend himself and his family
    • be able to run a 15 mile obstacle race on any day
  • How he does 1000 pushups in 40 minutes
  • How physical fitness instills confidence
  • How Charlie transitioned to speaking and writing after his fighting career was over
  • About his 7 episode-a-week podcast, The Spaniard
  • How, contrary to belief, fighters do experience fear
  • How Charlie acknowledges that he is afraid, self-conscious, and anxious and keeps going anyway
  • Why we need to get over the idea that fear is weakness
  • How to distract yourself from negative thoughts
  • Charlie’s greatest fears as a father
  • How he had to reframe his ideas about his kids, allowing them to become what they want and not who he wants them to be
  • Resisting the trap of living vicariously through your kids’ activities
  • How to teach kids integrity and live that example as well
  • Why as a father, you must be open an honest when you make a mistake, explaining things and admitting your faults not matter how young your kids are
  • How to find the work that makes you come alive
  • Charlie’s mission for his podcast—to help listeners of all ages develop character, perseverance, and resilience
  • His advice for those who want to create something
  • How to have the courage to keep going even when times get tough
  • How to get beyond surface doubt and tap into your heart and soul
  • How to overcome the overwhelm of getting started
  • Being prepared to play the long game
  • How to enjoy the moment of the success in the face of new goals
  • His best marital advice—Read The 5 Love Languages
  • The best part of his marriage—How his wife’s body has changed since becoming a mother
  • The most satisfying part of being a father and the most challenging parts
  • Charlie’s challenge! Read a book, take a pic, post it tagging Charlie, and he’ll retweet/share it to his audience @charliespaniard.

Don’t take your frustrations out on other people, especially your kids

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Charlie Brenneman: How to Live a Life of Excellence

Brenneman vs. Hagner: The Good Dad Project Interview

How to Break the Cycle of the Fixed Mindset with Larry Yatch

How to Instill the Growth Mindset in Your Kids with Larry Yatch

Secrets of the Navy SEAL Mindset: Courage, Confidence, Perseverance and Resilience

Extreme Ownership for Fathers with Leif Babin


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Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman’s links

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Podcast

Amazon

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Pulling the Positive from Failures with UFC Champion Frankie Edgar

Pulling the Positive from Failures with UFC Champion Frankie Edgar

We know our kids are going to fail and that they’re going to be disappointed. Pulling the positive lessons from failures can help kids use losses as stepping stones to greatness. But what happens when we as fathers fail?

Today we have Frankie Edgar on the show for a return visit. He was the UFC Lightweight Champion of UFC 112 and is a husband and a dad.

Frankie risks crushing failure every time he steps into the ring. Naturally, it’s no fun losing a fight, but he knows that his kids are watching. Listen to how Frankie sets a champion’s example of pulling the positive from failures and how he draws the line between family and fighting.

'The best thing to show your kid is that everyone gets knocked down. But it’s not about getting knocked down. It’s about how you react to it.' – @FrankieEdgar #MMA #UFC #fatherhood #family #failure Click To Tweet

Frankie Edgar

Frankie Edgar was born and grew up in Toms River, New Jersey where he first started wrestling in high school. After college, he got into mixed martial arts and his career took off. Frankie Edgar is now known as “The Answer.” He has 9 year old and 8 year old sons and a 4 year old daughter.

'I feel like the training mode's easy. The family mode is tricky sometimes.' – @FrankieEdgar #family #dads #men #fathers #fatherhood #dadlife Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • What wrestling taught him about life
  • How he became mentally and physically tough
  • Balancing family life as a pro-athlete
  • How he becomes present in whatever he’s doing
  • How he cultivates his laser-like focus
  • How he faces his kids after he loses a fight
  • How he teaches his kids to own their own failures
  • What it’s like being a husband as a UFC fighter
  • The example Frankie’s father set for him
  • How it’s not always about being the rough guy, but being happy
  • How he still dates his wife
  • The difference in raising a daughter
  • The number one thing he wants to teach his kids
'You can’t think for your kids. You want to build them so they make the right decisions on their own.' – Frankie Edgar #parenting #dads #men #fathers Click To Tweet

MENTIONED EPISODE: Frankie Edgar on Life Lessons from the Octagon


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Frankie Edgar’s Links

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UFC Profile

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

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What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

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the good dad project

Brenneman vs. Hagner: The Good Dad Project Interview

In this episode, Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman turns the tables and puts Good Dad Project creator and host Larry Hagner in the spotlight. Learn all about the humble beginnings of The Good Dad Project and what it’s like to interview amazing guests. You’ll also hear about Larry’s mastermind groups, how he balances work and family, and why he hates his first name.

Larry Hagner

Larry had been married to his wife for fourteen years and is the father to four boys. Yes. Four. Aged eleven, nine, three, and one. He says parenting four boys is chaos and he couldn’t do it without a sense of humor. He and his wife refer to the kids as “the drunk people” because they talk nonsense, miss the toilet when they pee, and show up to dinner without pants.

The Good Dad Project

The Good Dad Project is a blog and a podcast with over 200 hundred shows logged featuring NY Times bestselling authors, professional athletes, famous fighters, motivational speakers, and Navy SEALS. Larry Hagner is the author of two books, a children’s book and a guidebook for dads. He is a mastermind facilitator and manages huge community of dads from across the world.

Larry offers The Dad Edge free private Facebook group where men discuss anything and everything. He also has two tiers of mastermind groups: The Dad Edge Alliance and the Elite Mastermind. He credits his business model from combining what he’s learned from his close friends and mentors, Aaron Walker from View from the Top and Ryan Michler from Order of Man.

On Being a Connector

Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman knows Larry Hagner’s connecting abilities first hand. Larry agrees that being a connector is his strength. Larry relies heavily on the radical relationships he has formed and feeds those relationships by branching out to other likeminded individuals. Why not share fantastic people with other fantastic people?

The Power of Talking

In a society where everything is automated and fast, talking is grossly underrated. But Larry Hagner believes in getting personal in the men his mastermind groups. He hosts calls every week on the Zoom platform where everyone can talk and view each other on video.

He could easily have a landing page where anyone can access the group, but Larry calls each and every man to approve them first. This takes a lot of time and effort, but what goes on in the mastermind is very personal and the call beforehand starts the relationship off on the right foot.

These groups create a dynamic, ever-changing synergy. In one-to-one coaching, the client only gets one perspective, but in a mastermind group, he will get a variety of perspectives, answers, and strategies. This is the value of a tribe, something we’ve lost as a society and mastermind groups fill that void.

The Vision

When Larry first started his groups, he was terrified. Would they men like it? Would they stay? Because of this, he constantly asks for feedback and remains open to criticism. What is the need out there? Negative feedback used to hurt his feelings, but now he sidesteps his ego so he can get better. He strives to bring more value to his shows and groups every day.

The Growth of GDP

After one year of steady podcasting, Larry only hit 50K downloads. He was frustrated, but stayed the course. He started really paying attention to which shows the audience responded to according to download numbers and audience emails.

Just one more year of sticking with the show, The Good Dad Project has reached 1 million downloads and is gaining momentum.

Playing the Long Game

Growing a show and cultivating a community took extreme patience on Larry’s part. At one point, he had to take out of his retirement for website and production expenses, but he kept the faith.

He says that if you would do what you’re doing for free, and you pay attention to the needs of the people you are helping, then you will eventually be successful. Passion will not do it alone. You also need the right recipe and you must keep learning and changing till you find the right one.

There’s no way around putting in the hard work.

Overcoming Self-doubt

Larry always had the desire to educate and improve himself. Five years ago, he was not the man or the father he wanted to be, and the GDP was his way of educating himself.

He now can’t imagine being a father without The Good Dad Project in his life. His kids would suffer and he would suffer. This is why Larry is determined to keep the project growing. It has become larger than himself. At this point, he knows he has to deliver to his audience all the time and in a big way so he can also deliver these same things home.

Related Episodes: 

Porn – Why We Watch It, When It’s a Problem, and How to Stop with Nell Daly

Charlie Brenneman: How to Live a Life of Excellence

Working to Live, Not Living to Work with Aaron Walker

How Your Tribe Will Make You a Better Man with Ryan Michler


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Daddy Will Always Love and Protect You

Links


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James Krause

Pressure, Perseverance, and Fatherhood with UFC Fighter James Krause

What does an ultimate fighter and a good dad have in common? UFC fighter James Krause tells us about perseverance and pressure and how he thrives off uncertainty and challenge. He also talks about being a father to his 2-year-old girl and how he came to adopt his little sister.

James Krause is an American professional mixed martial artist and entrepreneur, currently competing in the lightweight division of the UFC. He’s also featured on FOX Sports’ reality show, The Ultimate Fighter.

James Krause was born in Newport News, Virginia. His parents divorced when he was two years old. His mother moved them to Missouri where they lived in extreme poverty, sometimes surviving on only $400 a month.

In school, James was physically behind. He was small and got picked on a lot.  At the age of nineteen or twenty, he decided to try mixed martial arts. He didn’t get into fighting with the intention of competing. He wanted to learn how to defend himself and build confidence. He fell in love with the physical act and the fact that a smaller person could defeat a larger person.

You don’t have to be talented to be great.

Perseverance

James Krause says that people don’t succeed because they stop learning. People forget what hard work is and their lives become stagnant.

James never stops learning. He trains every day for the UFC, and he applies the same model to all aspects of his life. Including business, marriage, and fatherhood. He believes in intelligent repetition can allow him to accomplish goals much faster, but it takes passion to persevere. If you want to become successful at something, you must be willing to do it for fee. Hard work beats talent.

If you do something long enough and you just don’t quit, you have no choice than to become good by default.

Pressure

As a fighter, James Krause is subjected to extreme pressure, not just from the challenge of fighting his opponent, but being in front of a live audience as well as on TV. How does he push through the pressure? James says uncertainty and challenge have become essential to his growth. The only way to deal with pressure is to continuously put yourself through it. Embrace and repurpose opportunity, and objectively look at the situation without emotions.

Fatherhood

James Krause’s daughter was born two years ago. When his stepfather died of cancer and his mother ended up in prison, he also adopted his little sister who has been living with him for almost a year. It wasn’t something he and his wife planned to do, but they have been making it work. He looks at it from a positive perspective and thinks it’s one of the best things that could’ve happened to his little sister. Now that she is with him, she can become a much greater person than she would have if she had been raised by his mother.

Life Lessons for His Girls

James Krause never went through phases of drinking and partying in his youth. He feels he learned life lessons before most other people, so he expects more from his kids in advance. He says that some people are a product of their environment and won’t change, but he also knows that everything can be taught and everything can be learned. Being a genuinely good person also goes a long way. James believes that whatever you put out into the world, you will get back.

I don’t expect perfection, but I expect greatness.

 

Watch James Krause on The Ultimate Fighter
FOX Sports Wednesdays at 9pm CST

 



Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

James Krause’s Links

Facebook

Instagram

Twitter

The Ultimate Fighter


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raise strong girls

How to Raise Strong, Confident, Resilient Girls with Bas Rutten

Bas Rutten is retired UFC Heavyweight Champion and three-time King of Pancrase world champion. He’s a regular on TV, has also appeared in movies, and even makes a cameo in the Grand Theft Auto video game.

It’s hard to believe that Bas Rutten, also known as “El Guapo” or The Handsome One, suffered extreme eczema and asthma during his childhood. He was bullied on a regular basis in his native country of Holland. One day when he was on vacation with his family in France, he snuck into the movie theatre to see Enter the Dragon. Bas knew that if he became like Bruce Lee, the bullying would stop. This sparked a passion for martial arts that took him through a glorious career and taught him many life lessons he would pass on to his three daughters.

How to raise strong girls

Learn to say “no”

Bas admits to being a sucker for the sad look he gets from his girls when he refuses to give into them. But it’s important to put your foot down. If they know they can influence you early on, they will never take you seriously in the future. Bas’s parents instilled good morals and work ethic in him. If he wanted something, he had to work for it and started delivering newspapers and washing dishes at a very young age. He has done this with his daughters as well.

Don’t lose your girls to social media

In this world of Instagram and Snapchat, it can be challenging to get your daughters’ attention. Bas Rutten says that it is important to connect with your daughters on social media. This might seem daunting for those of us who didn’t grow up with social media, but Bas says fathers must evolve with technology so they are fully aware of what is going on.

Bas also knows that being obsessed with social media diminishes the present moment. When you’re taking a video of the moment instead of absorbing it with all your senses, you don’t experience it fully. You’re not likely to watch the video again anyway, so he teaches his family to put the phone down and disconnect.

Be consistent

If you give your daughters multiple warnings and they still fail to meet their obligations, you must follow through with the punishment you decided on. Bas recalls one time when he warned his daughter that if she didn’t finish her homework, he wouldn’t allow her to go to prom. She didn’t finish her homework, and even though it broke his heart to do it, he stood his ground and did not allow her to go to prom. It wasn’t an easy lesson, but it changed everything. Bas says, “If they don’t take you seriously, they won’t take life seriously.”

Teach them to speak up

Girls are taught to be quite and submissive. “If you set yourself up for being bullied, you’ll get it,” Bas says. The best way to teach daughters to be strong is to show them how to project confidence. If someone speaks the them or treats them the wrong way, teach your daughters to speak up. They must say something right away before others think they can get away with treating them that way.

He also says girls need to stand their ground when it comes to relationships. They should project what they expect, maintain their independence, and not cave into their partner’s wishes all the time. It’s important for them to establish this behavior from the beginning so that they don’t become the weak person in the relationship.

Have fun with life

Although Bas struggle with his health problems throughout his childhood, he didn’t feel sorry for himself. It actually made him more optimistic because he knew there were people even worse off than him. He also developed a great sense of humor to cope with and compensate for the ostracization he suffered from his peers. Bas considers his childhood curses a blessing. His experiences shaped him and after the challenges he faced as a kid, his life is easy now. He feels it’s important for daughters to be strong and disciplined, but it’s also important to remember to have fun. Life goes by quickly and no one knows how much time we have.

Bas Rutten’s Parting Piece of Dad Wisdom

Bas recalls how he surprised his daughter with a puppy by coming up with an elaborate trick. A small effort and a little ingenuity on his part created and unforgettable memory for her. Make memories with your kids. Do a little more to make an impact.


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Bas Rutten’s links

BasRutten.com

O2Trainer.com

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