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running your family as a team

Running Your Family as a Team with Marc Roberge from O.A.R.


Of a Revolution, or O.A.R., is a rock band that has been making music for over twenty years. Whether you know their name or not, chances are you’ve heard their songs on the radio. Today, we are honored to have O.A.R.’s lead singer Marc Roberge on the show for his second interview with The Dad Edge Podcast!

Marc talks about how dads can use this time of quarantine to reestablish the household hierarchy and start running the family as a team. He tells us what it’s like to be a dad on and off the road, how he keeps his marriage alive, and why he is open about his weaknesses and imperfections with his kids. He also shares stories about his own father and how the nostalgia of summers growing up in the neighborhood are the inspiration for his songs to this day.

This show is about the meaning of friends, family, and embracing the good and bad in life. Slow down and have a listen.

It takes work to run this household. If you work with me, it will run smoothly. If you battle me, we’re going to battle.—Marc Roberge

O.A.R.

What do you call a band whose twenty year-career spans sold-out stands at both Madison Square Garden and Red Rocks Amphitheater, millions of albums sold over the course of what will be nine full-length releases, and multiple chart-busting entries? In the case of O.A.R., two simple words suffice: “The Mighty.”

That’s the best way to sum up the Maryland quintet—Marc Roberge [lead vocals, rhythm guitar], Richard On [lead guitar, backing vocals], Chris Culos [drums], Benj Gershman [bass], and Jerry DePizzo [saxophone, guitar, backing vocals, additionally MikelParis [keys, backing vocals, percussion] and Jon Lampley [trumpet, backing vocals].

Since their emergence in 1996, the musicians have tirelessly delivered a signature brand of rock steeped in alternative scope, roots tradition, and pop ambition. Among many highlights, 2008’s All Sides yielded the platinum single “Shattered” and bowed in the Top 15 of the Billboard Top 200 a space they continually occupied with King [2011] and The Rockville LP [2014].

Beyond packing arenas and amphitheaters coast to coast, they’ve given inspiring performances on The Today Show, CONAN, the 2015 Special Olympics Opening Ceremony, the ESPYS, in addition to playing their hit song “Peace” at the coveted Times Square New Year’s Eve Celebration on the eve of 2016.

“Richie Sambora announced us at Red Rocks as ‘The Mighty O.A.R.’ a few years back,” recalls DePizzo. “Those two words just stuck with us, and Marc suggested we use it as the album title. We have a great sense of pride in the career we’ve had up to this point. The term wraps up who the band is in 2019. It feels good to us.”

“Our hope is everyone leaves our show feeling better than when they got there,” says Culos. “We make that happen by playing together as a unit, playing with a pulse. Through that pulse, we tell our story. It’s about friends and family – our brotherhood. The Mighty refers to our foundation.”

O.A.R. most definitely do that on their latest offering. They also tread uncharted territory. Rather than follow the same playbook and record during a set timeframe, they intermittently recorded throughout 2018, working on or writing a song only when inspired. Crafting all the songs simultaneously until the very last hours of the production deadline. In the studio, longtime producer Gregg Wattenberg would be joined by PomPom, who added a fresh take on the sound with an electronic sensibility and expanded soundscape.

“We used to rent a place for a month, go in, write music, take off for a break, and then record for another month,” says Roberge. “Thanks to Wattenberg, we now had access to a brand new studio and his guidance without the pressures of the clock. We could come and go when inspired, and fell into this comfortable experience. For the first time the schedule went out the window.”

“PomPom grew up around O.A.R. music,” DePizzo says. “To be able to bring someone into the fold who came up with your tunes and influence added a whole different perspective.”

Case in point is the first single, “Miss You All The Time.” Produced by Gregg Wattenberg and Derek Fuhrmann. Its lush keys and moving guitar riff uphold an orchestral admission, “I miss you all the time.” The emotionally charged send-off immediately resonated with fans as the official music video directed by Rudy Mancuso swiftly clocked over 5 million views on YouTube, and counting.

“Like anyone, we’ve seen tragic losses over the years,” says Roberge. “You have people in your life who are so important and influential, and then one day they’re gone. It happens quickly, and you’re left to pick up the pieces. We wanted to celebrate their greatness instead of mourn. ‘Miss You All The Time’ is a moment to honor those who aren’t with us anymore.”

Whether it’s the space and harmony of “Free”, the uplifting anthem “California”, or the addictive groove on “Knocking at Your Door,” O.A.R. ignite a bold, brilliant, and inspired next chapter.

“It’s a renewal of experiences,” says Roberge. “We’ve built the foundation, we’ve got the confidence to be who we are.”

And, who are they now?

Well, they’re The Mighty O.A.R.

What You’ll Learn

  • The tremendous influence of Stephen King and Stan By Me on Marc’s music
  • Through all the tours and fame, Marc always comes home “when the streetlights come on.”
  • Even as a successful musician on tour, Marc values being home with his wife and family above all.
  • Life encompasses moments of loss, sadness, weakness, but the moments in between are what counts and should be celebrated.
  • Marc admits that it’s hard to maintain the patriarchal role when he’s weak and flawed. It helps him to be open about this to his wife and kids.
  • As a dad, Marc believes dads shouldn’t float around and hope it all works out. Get in the trenches.
  • Why parents should encourage kids to do their own thing and get on board with it
  • When things go wrong, kids usually are afraid to tell their parents. How can we create a net of psychological safety so they will come to us first?
  • Marc talks about how he could go to his dad for anything, and so did the kids in his neighborhood.
  • How Marc’s father led by example—very few words, no BS.
  • How Marc maintains open communication in the home.
  • Cultivating the team mentality in the family
  • How running your family as a team helps siblings get along better
  • The most important habit for kids is learning to take responsibility.
  • How the quarantine situation has helped Marc’s family ignore little frustrations and learn how to communicate better
  • Marc sees this time as a silver lining to the virus. This is the most time many of us have ever spent with our family.
  • Fathers have time to reestablish the hierarchy in the house.
  • The best times Marc and his wife shared were not big, exotic vacations but simple road trips in the car.
  • Why his wife is his “final call” person
  • The purest songwriting experience Marc ever had
  • How O.A.R. has adapted to Covid-19 life by songwriting on Zoom and streaming concerts from home.
  • Marc’s plan for living through the coronavirus—stay home, write songs, take care of himself and his family

It’s all about neighborhood. It’s all about crew. It’s all about your friends. I believe in that stuff. We’re not alone.—Marc Roberge

RELATED EPISODES:

Of A Revolution with Marc Roberge

How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood

 


Marc Roberge’s links

Watch LIVE performances on Instagram

liveoar.com

Facebook

Twitter

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

LINKS


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financial independence

Reframing Your Life for Financial Independence with Brad Barrett


Do finances stress you out? You’re not alone. Most of us aren’t clear about what we have to do to achieve financial independence. The average 50-year-old has about 50K in savings. Most millennials are not saving at all. The majority of family households don’t even have a budget to know what they’re spending on.

Money problems wreak havoc on our physical and mental wellbeing as well as our relationships. The best time to take control and be intentional about financial independence is right now.

Financial legend, Brad Barrett, returns to The Dad Edge. He’s the cohost of the Choose FI Podcast, the co-author of Choose FI: Your Blueprint to Financial Independence, and cofounder of a financial independence movement that has spread worldwide.

Brad went from being a full-time CPA to retired and financially independent at the age of 35. Now he empowers others to design their paths to financial independence.

Today, Brad gives us simple, actionable steps you can take right now to cut expenses, save money, and build wealth without feeling deprived. He also talks about how to get your spouse in on the game to use your financial plan to bring you closer.

It’s not about what you’ll be giving up, it’s about making your life better. Don’t waste another day or another cent. It’s time to build a lifestyle according to what you value most.

Brad Barrett

Brad and his wife are both Virginia Certified Public Accountants (CPAs) and find themselves constantly looking for new strategies to make their lives less stressful and more financially secure.

Brad lives for finding smart and creative life hacks to make their lives easier and he looks forward to helping others do the same in in their lives on the path to financial independence.

Brad is passionate about everything from saving money, to living a more healthy lifestyle, to ‘boring’ things like tracking your finances and cutting down on your tax bill. But his favorite topic is leveraging credit card rewards to save more money, and take trips you never would have dreamed possible for pennies on the dollar.

What You’ll Learn

  • Living a life of intentionality with freedom as your goal
  • How to reframe and anchor to a 15-20 year working life instead of the traditional retirement age.
  • If you look at saving and budgeting as deprivation, you’re going to be bitterly unhappy.
  • Life is an experiment. Find out what makes you happy and what helps you interact best with your wife and kids.
  • How to figure out what you value.
  • Why you should never sacrifice date nights with your wife.
  • Cutting back in less important areas allows you to spend lavishly on the things you really value.
  • Cutting expenses on housing, food, and transportation
  • Brad’s $2 per person per meal family dinner plan.
  • Preparing food in advance to avoid scrambling for take-out or ready-to-eat food.
  • How intentionality and planning saves both money and time.
  • Having happy hour with your spouse at home to save the huge bar tab.
  • How FI can bring you closer together as a couple, turning life into a game you play together.
  • How to live the same middle-class life as everyone else without being chained to a job.
  • The FIRST STEP: Get an honest understanding of what’s going on in your finances.
  • Face your mistakes. Put your financial failures on paper without beating yourself up about it.
  • How the money story that comes from our childhoods affects us as adults
  • Think about what kind of security you need. Each person is different.
  • Sit with your spouse. Ask yourselves, what do you want your lives to look like, and is your current budget going to get you there?
  • Hiding or avoiding talking about your financial habits with your spouse is destructive. You don’t want to be enemies. You want to be teammates.
  • Make decisions and take action. It doesn’t help to learn of you don’t act on the information.
  • In the beginning, the easiest way to begin to save money is decide what to cut, like subscriptions you don’t really use.
  • Bolder steps you can take like moving to a less expensive city or selling your car.
  • Reframe your budget mindset as a path to a better life.
  • Think about how you can earn more—start a side hustle, ask for a raise at your current job, or add to your education and skills.
  • Get easy quick wins that will inspire you to do more.
  • Think about how much less stressful your life would be if you knew you had a few thousand in the bank as a cushion. You don’t have to take crap from your job when you have enough money saved up.
  • It’s not about deprivation, it’s about making your life better.

RELATED EPISODES:

ChooseFI: Stock Market, Tax, and Retirement Hacks with Brad Barrett

All the Money You Will Ever Need with Grant Sabatier

Choose FI Podcast with Larry Hagner


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Brad Barrett’s Links

Choosefi

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Free travel rewards course: http://choosefi.com/travel

Find a local Choose FI group: https://apps.choosefi.com/local-groups/

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


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Tag us when you share on social media!

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