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transform your pain

Transform Your Pain into Explosive Inner Growth

All of us have endured some kind of pain in our past. We might not think about it, but we carry it through our lives, allowing it to contaminate everything we do. If we don’t acknowledge the pain, it will hold us back from reaching our true potential. But if we look at every rock bottom moment as an opportunity to learn, we can transform our pain into explosive inner growth.

Today’s story will blow your mind. Justin Schenck is creator of the wildly popular Growth Now Movement Podcast. He grew up in dark circumstances, with an addicted mother and a dad in jail. By all outward appearances, he was destined to fail in life.

But Justin would not give up. He shed his victim mindset and took charge of his future. In this amazing comeback story, he shows us that we all have the power to climb out of the pit of despair, generate our own happiness, and create the life we truly desire.

This is an interview you can’t afford to miss!

“Things are going to change and adversity is going to happen around you. That stuff doesn’t matter. What matters is the choices we make to create the better tomorrow for ourselves.”—Justin Schenck

Justin Schenck

Justin has been named a Top 8 Podcaster to watch in 2018 by INC.com and chosen as an ‘Icon of Influence’ in the new media space. What started out as a way to connect with top people and inspire others has become a way of life. Now getting played in over 100 countries every single week he is able to make a greater impact than he could ever imagine. He not only speaks to organizations on how to overcome adversity and utilize podcasting to grow your business but he helps others launch and grow their own podcasts. His vision? To teach the world how to live happy no matter where they are today. “It’s about the journey not the destination.”

“You have complete control over the outcome of everything in your life.”—Justin Schenck

What You’ll Learn

  • Why Justin says he would’ve been the least likely to succeed
  • Mom’s death after a 20-year opioid addiction
  • How he mended his relationship with his father who’d spent time in jail
  • Even though his parents could not get themselves together, Justin knew he was loved.
  • His upbringing taught him what he didn’t want.
  • Justin was introduced to self-development through a sales job.
  • He embarked on a life of constant learning, absorbing information, and finding mentors.
  • He realized that the pain that he went through could help people heal.
  • “Life is happening for me, not to me.”
  • Using rock bottom moments as an opportunity to learn
  • How to build a life you are truly happy living
  • No matter what’s happening, you have to take care of yourself first.
  • 3 Ways to Serve Yourself Every Day
    1. 5 minutes of mediation
    2. Learn something new every day
    3. Reach out to somebody who is dear to you and see how they are doing
  • What it’s like cohabitating with his girlfriend’s kids
  • Kids’ willingness to learn and to love
  • Bonding with children over shared interests
  • How to maintain a learning mindset when blending a family
  • How to love yourself through everything
  • Feel your emotions fully. Then move forward.
  • Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react.
  • Focus and what you can control.
  • It’s not going to be easy, but no matter what, don’t give up.
  • Whenever you hit a wall, focus on what you can do to improve yourself.

RELATED EPISODES:

The Good Dad (Human) Project with Larry Hagner on Growth Now Movement

Stop Doing That Sh*t with Gary John Bishop

Frankie Edgar on Life Lessons from the Octagon

Defying All Odds with Anthony Trucks

 


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why should i forgive

Why Should I Forgive? with Derek Stone


Is there someone in your life that you are finding it hard to forgive. A sibling, friend, or parent? We all have grudges, but we don’t realize how much emotional and mental bandwidth they’re stealing from us.

Derek Stone is the author of Why Should I Forgive? He grew up in poverty and was sexually abused by his stepfather. His bitterness led him into drugs, alcohol, and dysfunctional relationships. But he found the faith he needed to forgive and move on. Now his mission is to empower people to transform their lives and walk them through the hell of confronting past trauma and teaching them to forgive.

Derek talks about his painful journey out of hate, anger, and shame and how the power of forgiveness can free us to create the full and happy lives we were meant live.

“For true forgiveness to happen, something has to die.”—Derek Stone

Derek Stone

Derek Stone is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of Stone’s Repair and Remodel, LLC. He’s been married to his high school sweetheart, Crystal for the past 17 years and together they have two boys: Ashton, 14 years old and Noah, 7 years old.

Derek came from humble beginnings and grew up in Section-8 housing located in Mobile, AL. Derek has a fraternal twin brother and was the youngest of 4 children growing up. His parents divorced when he was 5 years old and had to raise himself when his mom started working 3 jobs to keep the lights on. He moved to North East Mississippi at age 16 when his mother re-married for the 3rd time and started his life over.

He gives all the credit for his success to one decision he made while a senior in high school. He says, “I started looking back at my life to figure out what made me so different from my other three siblings. I chose to forgive my dad and not take the same paths my parents did. I blamed dad for every bad thing I went through as a child: from being sexually abused, going hungry (thank God for school lunches), to having to take cold showers because the power got cut off. I was very bitter as a teenager and wanted a better life, so when the opportunity presented itself, I took it!”

36 years since the beginning of his story and he is currently living his best life, not someone else’s. He enjoys hunting, fishing, knife making, and hanging out with his family. He loves helping people re-tool to change their lives and empowering them to do so. He loves God, loves his family, and loves people.

Why Should I Forgive?

Why Should I Forgive? came from a place of discontent. It drove me to change my behavior, relationships, and habits. When I asked myself that question, I was met with a choice. Do I forgive, and be free of the burden of bitterness I was carrying around, or do I live in it, locking myself in a prison of torment and anger?

My passion is to empower people to change their own lives. I personally know the poison that bitterness injects into your body, mind, and spirit. I know the deep hate, anger, and shame that can drive you to your breaking point. I know how you can hurt the people who love you the most, or, even worse, yourself.

I have no Ph.D, M.D., or Doctorate degree in psychology. This is real. It’s my story of how I overcame bitterness, and now I want to give you the tools to walk you through your own journey. I want you to know that if you choose to forgive, it will lead to your freedom.

Join me on this journey. We will laugh, cry, and share life for a moment. This is my story of why and how. At the beginning of this book, the question is “Why should I forgive?” By the end of it, I will have given you the tools to help you in your quest to forgive. These tools will help you to forgive and start your path to spiritual freedom.”

 

What You’ll Learn

  • How to stop thinking of yourself as a victim
  • The process and benefits of forgiveness
  • How to forgive someone without giving them access to you
  • When and how to get rid of toxic people
  • Derek’s favorite quote: “If I associate with chickens, I will learn to scratch at the ground and squabble over crumbs. If I associate with eagles, I will learn to soar to great heights. I am an eagle. It is my destiny to fly.”— Andy Andrews
  • How Derek re-established the relationship with his father
  • Abusive people are repeating what was done to them. They serve as an example of what not to be.
  • How forgiveness set Derek’s stagnant life in motion
  • Forgiveness is a choice. If you’re not forgiving people, you’re opening yourself up to torment.
  • The difference between forgiveness and being taken advantage of
  • Why you should never go to your pastor, friends, or family for marriage advice
  • The 4 signs that spell doom for your marriage
  • Your spouse is not an enemy, but a gift.
  • Going with your gut when it comes to letting people into your life
  • How to use your purpose as a filter for all of your relationships. Does this person help or hinder your purpose?
  • Neutralize negative thoughts by telling them that you don’t need them anymore.
  • On challenges—we never know how they’re preparing us for what’s to come.
  • Having patience in “the waiting room” when we feel plagued by setbacks and delays

RELATED EPISODES:

Isolation: The Enemy of Excellence—TDE Exclusive with Aaron Walker

One Last Talk: Your Truth Matters with Philip McKernan

Wake Up the Hero with Wes Chapman


Protect your kids with the Bark App

cyberbullying

sexual content

suicidal ideation

online predators


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Derek Stone’s Links

derekstone.online

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one last talk

One Last Talk: Your Truth Matters with Philip McKernan

If you had one last talk to deliver to the world, what would you say? Who would you say it to?

Philip McKernan is a speaker, author, and enlightened hooligan. He is the creator of the One Last Talk speaking series and author of One Last Talk: Why Your Truth Matters and How to Deliver It.

Philip talks about how all of us have endured some kind of childhood trauma, and that no matter how perfect we try to be, we are going to hurt and disappoint our kids too. But Philip also tells us how we can find our greatest gifts by exploring our deepest wounds, and why we must speak our truth to heal ourselves and others.

This episode is going to hit you hard and stay with you a long time. Give yourself space to listen and time to reflect. It will transform your life.

“Everything we want lies just beyond a conversation we’re not willing to have.”—Philip McKernan

Philip McKernan

Philip works with entrepreneurs and business leaders all over the world. When people are seeking clarity about their future or want to move through roadblocks, seen and unseen, they call Philip. As a speaker, he has inspired and challenged the Canadian Olympic Team and The Pentagon to name a few. He is also the founder and is spearheading the One Last Talk™ movement.

He helps people get clear on who they are and where they need to go. He helps them transition in their personal and professional lives so people feel aligned in all areas of life. Philip believes who and what we do ‘off the ice’ has a huge impact on our results ‘on the ice’. His groundbreaking Team Deepening™ work with organizations gives teams a refreshing way to connect and build real and collective resilience.

What separates Philip from a lot of coaches, speakers and gurus is originality. He brings new conversations to the table and spends an obscene amount of time thinking and challenging the status quo, instead of simply repackaging business & life hacking strategies. Philip McKernan is a philosopher, a modern day philosopher of the human experience. His pioneering philosophy around SoulSet™ equips and empowers people to uncover their gifts and impact the world.

With a knack of getting into all sorts of scenarios – he’s caddied in golf for the President of Ireland, been chased and nearly killed by a bull elephant in Nigeria and made wine in Australia. He has traveled to 80 countries around the globe, built an orphanage in Peru, written 5 books despite being dyslexic and created his first documentary film called Give & Grow. The film explores how the gift of giving makes us feel more worthy and alive. It also explores the science behind the impact of giving on our emotional well being, our mental health, our physiology, and our businesses.

Philip believes the path to a happy and fulfilling life is found through the meaning we derive in life through the WORK we do, our relationship to OTHERS and the most important relationship of all, the one with one’s SELF.

One Last Talk

This shocking and provocative question is at the core of the remarkable and inspiring book, One Last Talk: Why Your Truth Matters And How To Deliver It. This book emerged from the speaking series designed to help people discover their truth, and then speak it out loud, developed by renowned coach Philip McKernan.

In this book, McKernan goes beyond the event, and dives into what it means to discover your truth and speak it, why people should do this, and then deeply explains exactly how this can be done. If you feel living more authentically could allow you to have a greater impact on others, or you can’t find the words to speak your truth as boldly as you know you need to, this is the book for you.

Make no mistake, the path McKernan lays out is simple, but not easy, because your greatest gift lies next to your deepest wounds.

What You’ll Learn

  • Anyone who says they had the perfect childhood is lying to lying to themselves.
  • Our parents are flawed because they are human and they all lack in some way.
  • How to separate our parents from their behaviors so we can see them as people
  • When it’s our turn to become parents, we either repeat history or try desperately not to repeat it. Either way, it’s not an organic way of parenting
  • Everyone has had significant trauma, but we underplay it.
  • What’s the point of uncovering past trauma? The cracks from unresolved trauma start to appear later in our lives.
  • Examining not only how trauma hurt us, but how it served us
  • How uncovering childhood trauma can actually strengthen your relationship with your parents
  • Knowing you will mess up as a parent allows you to let go of perfection.
  • How do you know if you’re being a good dad? Your internal compass will tell you.
  • We underestimate our kids’ ability to comprehend how we feel.
  • Why Philip includes his kids in every conversation
  • Showing your kids your weakness allows them to become strong for you.
  • As kids get older and go through tough times, you will want your kids to share their struggles and fears with you. But you can’t expect them to do that if you have never come to them for support. By not sharing with them, you’ve trained them not to share with you.
  • Kids long for validation, so we must be aware of what we’re giving our attention to.
  • When we don’t speak our truth, it slowly destroys us.
  • Amazing things happen when you release your truth into the world.
  • 95% of people die with regrets.
  • We must live as the most authentic version of ourselves so our kids can be inspired to do the same.
  • Why Philip would die for his children, but refuses to live his life for them.
  • How to get started with that One Last Talk
  • We’re already being driven by our past. Living the future is a way of escaping the now. We need to face the present.
  • The more you try not to be like somebody, the more you become more like them.
  • We isolate because we don’t feel good enough and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
  • We give ourselves what we feel we deserve in life.
  • Self-sabotage exists in even the highest-level performers.
  • The people who are telling you how great everything is are the ones who are the most insecure.
  • Philip’s job on this earth is to eradicate loneliness. He believes the greatest pandemic we’re facing is isolation.

MENTION EPISODES:

Stop Doing That Sh*t with Gary John Bishop

How to Unf*ck Yourself with Gary John Bishop


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Philip McKernan’s links

philipmckernan.com

onelasttalk.com

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IT’S TIME TO REINVENT HOW WE SHOW UP FOR OUR FAMILIES

Coronavirus is forcing our evolution as fathers.  We are all going to build a whole new set of superpowers.  And these superpowers are needed right now.  For many of us, we are multiplying our future ability to serve, exponentially.

YOU WILL NOT WANT TO MISS THIS.

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Bestselling author of “Design Your Future.”

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Kung Fu Parenting


How can you can cooperate—not compete—with your kids, set boundaries, focus on the positive, and make your parenting flow instead of it always being a struggle?

We are honored to have Jeremy Roadruck among our Dad Edge Alliance members. He’s a Kung Fu master, public speaker, and bestselling author. He’s also an empowerment coach for families and children, giving parents and kids the tools they need to feel seen, heard, felt, and understood.

Today, Jeremy talks about how we can add Kung Fu principles to our parenting skill set, allowing self-awareness and compassion to guide us, developing a deep rapport with our children that will give them the inner strength and joy to win in all areas of life.

What You’ll Learn

  • The importance of the way we store things internally
  • The power of detachment
  • How trials are a gift, helping us to develop self-awareness and compassion toward others
  • How to play games worth winning
  • Life is always a positive game. All roadblocks are self-generated.
  • The difference between patience and passive waiting
  • Why, like in Kung Fu, we should stop chasing the outcome
  • Balancing the masculine and feminine
  • The difference between winning and not losing
  • How judgement kills our rapport and our influence
  • The power of your story about yourself changes your behavior.
  • How to channel your kids’ energy to the positive
  • Why your spouse must come before your kids

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Jeremy Roadruck

theparentingprogram.com

Free Book—Your Best Child Ever: Is This Game Worth Winning?

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Bonding with Sons and Daughters

A Father’s Guide to Bonding with Sons and Daughters with Michael Gurian

According to Columbia University, children who have a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to drink, smoke, or use drugs. How we can strengthen the bond between father and son and father and daughter?

Michael Gurian is one of the world’s foremost experts on gender and the brain and has been called “The People’s Philosopher” for his ability to bring together people’s ordinary lives and scientific ideas. He is the NY Times bestselling author of thirty-two books, a keynote speaker, a husband and a father.

Michael tells us the top three reasons why today’s kids aren’t connecting with their dads. He teaches us to discover our assets as fathers and how to invite our kids to utilize them. He also shares the neuroscience behind the differences between bonding with sons and daughters, and how we be the best father to each gender.

Michael Gurian

Dr. Michael Gurian is the New York Times bestselling author of thirty two books published in twenty three languages. He provides counseling services in private practice.  The Gurian Institute, which he co-founded, conducts research internationally, launches pilot programs and trains professionals.

Michael has pioneered efforts to bring neuro-biology and brain research into homes, schools, corporations, and public policy. A number of his books have sparked national debate, including THE WONDER OF GIRLS, THE WONDER OF BOYS, BOYS AND GIRLS LEARN DIFFERENTLY!, THE MINDS OF BOYS and LEADERSHIP AND THE SEXES.

In the 1990s, Michael and his colleagues at the University of Missouri-Kansas City completed a two year pilot study that established best practices for educating boys and girls.  These strategies and Michael’s nature-based gender theory are now used in schools and communities worldwide.

One of the world’s foremost gender experts, Michael travels to approximately 25 cities per year to provide keynotes at conferences and speak at schools and in communities. Michael has served as a trainer and consultant to colleges, corporations, school districts, community agencies, faith communities, criminal justice personnel, and other professionals. His philosophy reflects the diverse cultures (European, Asian, Middle Eastern and American) in which he has lived, worked and studied.

Michael’s work has been featured in nearly all the major media, including the New York Times, the Washington Post, USA Today, Newsweek, Time, People Magazine, the Wall Street Journal, Forbes Magazine, Psychology Today, the Christian Science Monitor, Educational Leadership, the American School Board Journal, Family Therapy, Good Housekeeping, Redbook, and on the Today Show, Good Morning America, the 700 Club, CNN, PBS and National Public Radio.

What You’ll Learn

  • Michael’s mom had mental illness, and he grew up in an environment of violence and sexual abuse.
  • Michael’s father was mostly absent in his life until his dad was eighty years old.
  • It took 10 years of therapy for Michael to process his trauma. Therapy helped him recover and inspired him to become a counselor.
  • He’s been married to his wife 34 years, who is also a mental health counselor. They have two girls, aged 29 and 26.
  • Michael’s marriage advice: Establish domains as a couple. Figure out what each of you are good at and give each other space to do that. This prevents you trying to control each other.
  • Why you should compliment your spouse publicly.
  • Michael’s book, The Stone Boys, and why he wrote a story about traumatized boys.
  • The brain is not gender neutral. It shows differences according to sex beginning in utero.
  • Why we need to understand the male experience better
  • How culture is over-judging males and has lost the sense of value in a fathers’ masculinity
  • Dads are 50% of their kids support and development. They need to claim role in their kids’ lives.
  • Why kids aren’t connecting with dads
    • Divorce and child custody processes typically vilify the father.
    • The father abdicates to the mother or others because he doesn’t understand his role. He is afraid to assert himself as a father.
    • The father fails to invite the child to utilize him for the assets he has. He must be a presence. It doesn’t have to be deep conversation. Fathers and kids can bond with sports, movies, video games, and other activities.
  • Don’t be too permissive. Kids want structure.
  • How to be authoritative, not authoritarian.
  • The structure of a boy’s brain is wired to be more active. More blood flow goes to the doing part of the brain.
  • Females have more blood flow to the front and top of the brain. They solve problems internally by thinking and connect to emotive parts of brain.
  • Why females create rumination loops, leading to depression and anxiety.
  • How dads can listen to their daughters for ruminating, find the right time to step in, do a reality check, and offer suggestions.
  • Boys don’t have as many words for feelings as girls.
  • How dads can help their boys get their feelings out
  • What special activities dads can do with their daughters and sons to make the bond strong.
  • Figure out who you are as a dad and what your assets are.
  • Find common interests with your kids. Ritualize doing these things with your kids so you can establish your presence as the dad.
  • Gauge what your spouse is doing. What has she got covered? Where can you fill in the gaps as a husband and father?
  • The difference between maternal and paternal nurturing
  • How trauma effects boys and girls
  • Signs of trauma—if your child suddenly becomes withdrawn, angry, or isolated, he or she may have been traumatized.
  • More kids are traumatized than we realize.
  • How the dad spirit organically works in the family dynamic. Trust it and embrace it.

RELATED EPISODES:

Taking Action as the Head of Your Family

Modern Manhood: What it Means to Be a Good Man Today with Cleo Stiller

Imposter Syndrome: Defeating Your Inner Bully with Dr. Jamie Hope


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Michael Gurian’s Links

MichaelGurian.com

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

Amazon

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

LINKS


Hungry for more out of life?

Become one of the 350 men of The Dad Edge Alliance

APPLY HERE!


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

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