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choose patience

Choose Patience: How to Find Peace Amid Insanity


Sometimes living with kids can be insane, and we all have those times when we lose our temper. But we do have the ability to choose patience, and it’s up to us to show our kids what it means to be in control of our behavior. Learning how to choose patience can help us find chaos amid the insanity in any situation.

In this short episode, I talk about what we can do mentally and emotionally as fathers to pause, reflect, and create space between reaction and response.

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Inadequacy, Insecurity, and Imposter Syndrome with Mike Kitko

Imposter Syndrome: Defeating Your Inner Bully with Dr. Jamie Hope


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Not Losing It with Your Kids

3 Seconds to Not Losing It with Your Kids


In our last episode with Amy Morin, author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do, we discussed how to enhance mental toughness and emotional resilience in our kids. What does that mean for us dads?

As men, we are thrown so many things each day. Keeping up with work, finances, and family can be exhausting. It’s easy to become irritable and susceptible to knee jerk reactions, especially when our kids don’t listen to us. We usually yell and shout, and then feel terrible.

In this episode, I teach you how to use three seconds to create a mental space in your mind and use questions to give your kid a choice to obey.

'Most of the time our kids will fight us. They want to defend their ground just to have some power. You can get them to listen to you by giving them a choice.' #kids #parenting #dads #fathers Click To Tweet

MENTIONED EPISODE: How to Raise Mentally Strong Kids with Amy Morin

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THE DAD EDGE SUMMIT 2018

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==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

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How to Get Your Kid to Listen Without Yelling

I’m going to talk about an issue most dads face on a daily basis–losing our temper. What do you do when you tell your son or daughter to do something over and over again and they just won’t listen? Usually we get frustrated and angry. We begin to raise our voice, but this doesn’t give us the respect we want. Today I’m going to share a secret I learned from a mentor on how to get your kid to listen without yelling.


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Create an Epic Life

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Prevent Angry Outbursts

5 Ways to Prevent Angry Outbursts

This episode marks 1 year of Thursday Throwdown on the Good Dad Project! Following up on our previous episode with Peter Sacco about Uncovering the Secrets of Anger, we’re going to go over five quick ways we can prevent angry outbursts.

Some of us have issues managing our anger. This is because most men hold things in for way too long. Then we explode when we’ve suddenly hit our limit. We feel shame, regret, and frustration over not being able to control ourselves. But we must remember that anger is a normal emotion and we can put preventative measures in place to prevent angry outbursts.

1. Breathe

We must respond instead of react. If take a moment to breathe first, we can calm ourselves and think before overreacting.

2. Walk away

Sometimes our kids need a time out. Sometimes, WE need a time out. We should find a quiet place and wait for the anger to pass. Then we can approach the conflict rationally.

3. Stay active

Exercise helps us handle stress better. Endorphins give us a sense of well-being. If we blow off some steam during workouts, we will be in a better frame of mind to handle difficult situations at home and work.

4. Surround yourself with right tribe

We are the average of the 5 people we hang out with the most. We must find friends and mentors who help us to be the best version of who we are – like the DAD EDGE ALLIANCE.

5. Apologize

When we apologize to our kids, we show them a tremendous lesson in humility. Just because we are dads doesn’t mean we’re always right. This is a great opportunity to show them that we can put our egos aside and admit when we’re wrong.

 

Did you catch our previous episode? Uncovering the Truth About Anger with Peter Sacco


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Create an Epic Life

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Uncovering the Truth About Anger with Peter Sacco

Most men struggle with anger daily. Our tempers flare at work and at home with our wife and kids. Some of us are like Bruce Banner. Some of us turn into the Incredible Hulk. Canada’s psyche doctor, Peter Andrew Sacco tells us the secrets to where anger comes from, how to manage it, and so much more. You don’t want to skip this mind-blowing episode!

We are full-time workers, dads, and husbands. As men, it’s sometimes hard to control our anger. Discovering what type of temperament we have will help us find better ways to manage our anger, improve our relationships, and set an example for our kids on how to deal with their emotions too.

Peter Sacco

Peter Sacco, author of What’s Your Anger Type? is a psychology professor, a former private practitioner and is a regularly featured guest on television and radio. He is also an award-winning executive producer and has hosted many documentaries on relationships, psychological issues, and children’s issues. Peter Sacco has done extensive work in support groups and in anger management, especially with dads who are abusive towards kids and spouses.

Anger is a normal

Anger is a normal emotion. It’s how we deal with it that can be destructive.

Anger makes a person seem more authoritative and powerful, but the truth is that people with an anger problem actually feel they have no control in their lives. A lot of this aggression comes from unresolved issues in childhood and from shame or rage from being rejected as a kid.

Anger can be addictive

Anger is like a drug. When a person gets incensed, they experience an adrenaline rush. Being angry gives the sensation of dominance and control. It overpowers the fear that lies beneath it and gives a person a sense of power because it’s a stronger emotion than depression.

Is there hope for men with anger issues?

Some men who’ve come from a chaotic childhood feel doomed. They believe they’re broken and can’t be fixed. But Peter Sacco says there is tremendous hope for people with anger issues, but they have to do the work.

“You’ve got to want to be the change in your own life”

The Anger Cycle

Just like a soldier who has experienced PTSD, a person with a traumatic or abusive past might cope with unresolved emotions in different destructive ways. Some may use drugs and alcohol, some might vent their rage on certain races, others will withdraw or play the victim.

“Today’s catchers are tomorrow’s pitchers.”

A person who has anger issues will be more likely to take it on one his family. If your relationships fall apart and your work life is full of turmoil, the common denominator is you. It may be time to seek help.

Anger and bullying

Bullied kids lack self-esteem and confidence. They suffer from anxiety and depression. Some overcome it through counseling and become normal. Some cope by learning to be helpless and withdraw. Others develop a superiority complex and become bullies themselves, using aggression, rage, or passive aggression on others.

Why Kids are Suffering from Anxiety and Depression

Parents spend 2.5 to 6.5 minutes talking to their kids each day. In this small amount of time, the communication is usually corrective or punitive. It’s not at a deep intimate level because parents shy away from intimacy from their kids. ADHD has gone up. Divorce rates have risen. Peter Sacco believes it’s this lack of intimacy that’s more responsible than toxins in the environment or ingredients in food. Communication is the key.

Tips for improving communication with your kids

  1. How to start the conversation – If you feel uncomfortable speaking with your kids, find a situation where you’re most comfortable. Dinner is the best and most traditional forum for families to talk. Sit at the table. Make your kids accountable. Every day, ask them to give five things they’re grateful for. Then tell them to talk about one or two things they didn’t like. This will open up communication.
  2. Don’t start out questions with WHY – “Why” pushes someone in a corner. Be a facilitator, don’t treat kids as miniature adults. Don’t say why was your day bad? Say, if your day could go anyway you wanted, what would that be?
  3. Be more creative with questions – Do not be so direct. Maybe some things they’re facing will come out.
  4. Make yourself the go-to guy – Fathers are the breadwinners, and many feel that as long as they provide for their children, they’re doing their job as a parent. Most dads will plan adventures or bond over sports, but these activates focus on the event, not the father/child relationship. Dads should sit down with their kid and ask, “I’m Dad and you’re my child – let me ask you a question. What do I mean to you as a father? How do you see me? The all-knowing problem solver? Nagger? Coach? Disciplinarian? Teacher? How can I be a better dad?”
  5. How to talk about bullying – Kids won’t talk about being bullied because they’re afraid their parents will be ashamed of them. If you suspect bullying, don’t think that nothing’s happening and wait for it to go away on its own. It will wreck a child’s self-esteem. It’s crucial for kids to know that bullying happens in all walks of life. There is nothing to be ashamed of and that they can talk to you about it.

When Dads Get Angry

Even on our best days, our patience will run out. Peter Sacco says that the best way to communicate anger is to tell your kids you’re not feeling well. Tell them you just need a few moments. Instead of making it worse, treat anger like you have an upset stomach or like you’re going to vomit. You don’t want to talk about it. You want to be left alone. You’re not lying by saying you’re not feeling well because anger is a feeling. In a half hour, the emotions pass, and you’ll be in rational mindset to talk.



Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Peter Sacco’s Links

PeterSacco.com

BullyingisfortheBirds.com

Twitter

Facebook


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join The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

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