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navy seal tactics for parents

Navy SEAL Tactics for Parents with Chris Sajnog

Retired Navy SEAL, Chris Sajnog, is one of our most popular guests. He is the premier firearms instructor in America, a bestselling author, and the host of the SEAL Training Podcast.

The Dad Edge went to his studio in San Diego for a live, in-person discussion about fatherhood, and we really went deep. Chris was abandoned by his father and carries the wound with him to this day. He vowed not to be like his estranged dad and gave up his accomplished military life to be there for his teenage boys.

Sadly, his sons don’t want to spend time with him. Chris opens up about dealing with the painful lack of connection with his sons, and how he maintains his fatherly presence in their lives.

Chris Sajnog also shares Navy SEAL tactics for parents to help us to learn anything quickly and effectively. He goes over the hard and soft traits we need to cultivate to be balanced men, and how we can apply the warrior mindset to everyday life.

For us to change our lives, we have to change who we identify ourselves as.—Chris Sajnog

Chris Sajnog

Chris Sajnog is a retired Navy SEAL Master Firearms Instructor, Neural-Pathway Training Expert, Speaker and Disabled Veteran Small Business Owner. He is one of the most experienced and respected firearms trainers in the world, being hand-selected to develop the training program for the US Navy SEAL Snipers. As a Navy SEAL he was the senior sniper instructor, a certified Master Training Specialist (MTS), BUD/S and advanced training marksmanship instructor.

After retiring from the SEAL Teams in 2009 to spend time with his family, Chris began training civilians and law enforcement officers. He is the founder of the New Rules of Marksmanship, a revolutionary approach to firearms training and has a passion for finding innovative ways to teach elite-level shooting skills online as rapidly as possible to his students.

He is a federal and state certified firearms instructor and has trained DOD, DHS, FBI, CIA, Law Enforcement, and multiple foreign allies in all aspects of combat weapons handling, marksmanship, and tactics.

He lives in San Diego, CA with his wife Laura and two boys, Caden and Owen.

What You’ll Learn

  • Chris’s mother was a flight attendant. His dad left when he was 2 years old.
  • Chris admits he was not a good student or son.
  • He was voted “most likely to end up in prison.”
  • Even though is dad didn’t want him around, Chris idolized him.
  • Chris’s dad was a manager at Hardee’s.
  • Chris forged documents and had eye surgery under a fake name to make it into the SEALs.
  • How Chris used his adversity as motivation
  • The importance of changing your identity
  • How to get your kid to identify themselves in a different way
  • How Chris gets his rebellious sons to do things that they refuse to do
  • How Chris’s boys don’t appreciate the fact that their father is a Navy SEAL
  • Chris has written his sons love letters and the life lessons he wants to pass onto them.
  • His sons don’t engage with him, but he doesn’t give up. He keeps trying to connect.
  • Navy SEAL tactics for parents
  • The importance of having a strong “why” when learning anything new or challenging
  • How to know whether or not you should quit something
  • How to assess if your path is serving you
  • Stop investing in a life for the wrong reasons that will not make you happy in the long run.
  • Why Chris won’t befriend men who aren’t good dads
  • How Chris turns civilians into warriors
  • The importance of meditation in a gunfight
  • It’s not what you train but how you train.

If you want to get better at being a dad, be around good dads.—Chris Sajnog

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Leading Our Family With Confidence with Chris Sajnog

The 12 Traits of a Warrior Part 1: The Hard Traits with Chris Sajnog

12 Traits of a Warrior Part II: The Soft Traits

Dad Edge Alliance Q&A: Allowing Your Kids to Have Their Feelings with Chris Sajnog


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10 Questions to Deeper Connection with Your Teen


As our kids get into their teens, they tend to isolate and become more independent. Their thoughts and feelings grow more complex. Asking them about their day at school is not enough to get them to open up about what’s going on inside their heads, and they are not going to volunteer information. How can we better connect with our teenagers?

This is a crucial time for our kids, and the quality of our relationships depends on the quality of the questions we ask. If we want our teenagers to feel free to communicate with us, we have to be proactive about getting to know the person they’re becoming.

In this short episode, we list ten questions to a deeper connection with your teen.

10 Questions to Deeper Connection with Your Teen

1. Would you rather receive 1 million dollars in one month or one cent doubled every day for 30 days?

2. Would you rather be a boss or an employee?

3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

4. Describe yourself in five words or less.

5. If you could give every person in the world a gift, what would it be?

6. If you were president and had to choose three people to assist you, who would you pick and why?

7. If you could set one rule for our family to follow, what would it be?

8. Where would you live if you could live anywhere in the world?

9. When do you think a teen becomes and adult?

10. What lesson have you learned in life do you feel has been the most useful?

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The Ultimate Guide to Dealing with Difficult Teenagers with Josh Shipp

If you have preteens or teenagers, this show is for you. Even if your kids are still young, you will need this information to prepare for the future. The teenage years are a critical time for us to bond with our children so that they will be empowered to make the right choices in life.

Josh Shipp, “The Teen Whisperer,” is here to give us a guide to dealing with difficult teens. You don’t miss this invaluable advice!

Josh Shipp

Josh Shipp is an author, global youth empowerment expert, and acclaimed speaker. A former at-risk foster kid turned youth advocate, he is renowned for his documentary TV series (A&E), that followed his ground-breaking work with teens.

He is the author of the national bestseller “The Grown-Up’s Guide to Teenage Humans: How to Decode Their Behavior, Develop Unshakable Trust, and Raise a Respectable Adult,” and was listed on Inc. Magazine’s 30 under 30 list.

Josh’s Childhood

Josh’s mother got pregnant with him at the age of seventeen at a time when teenage pregnancy was taboo, especially in their small town of Oklahoma. After Josh was born, his mother left him as soon as she could.

Josh is not sure if his biological father knew that he had a son or had a choice in what happened to him. The crazy part about his story is that Josh’s mother had also been abandoned by her mother and was raised by an adoptive family. When she vanished, Josh was placed with these adoptive grandparents. They were aging and had health issues, and Josh was then transfered into foster care.

Josh as a little boy was angry and had an enormous chip on his shoulder. He constructed a brick wall of resentment, especially towards adults. His mother, the first adult he knew, broke his trust, and he assumed that every adult would to the same. He felt things happened to him that he had no control over. So, Josh acted out. By causing trouble and forcing his foster parents to kick him out, it gave him a sense of control.

He was so determined, he even gamified it. He created a log. He split-tested and fine-tuned his strategies. By the age of ten, he was a pro–an expert at pushing people away. Along the way, he was physically and sexually abused, bullied, and suicidal. This added to his misery.

At fourteen, Josh moved in with Rodney, a narcoleptic middle school teacher and coach. Josh thought the guy would be easy to push to the limits and unleashed his worst antics, but three years later, he was still in Rodney’s home.

One day, Josh went to jail for writing bad checks. He begged Rodney to come bail him out. Rodney agreed, but not till the next day. Josh had to spend and entire night in jail. In that moment, Josh was furious. He hated Rodney.

Rodney bailed him out the next morning as he promised. When they got home, he and his wife sat Josh down. Josh thought he’d finally get kicked out and prepared for the spiel, but Rodney said, “You can keep screwing up and keep trying to get us to kick you out, but you gotta get it through your head. We don’t see you as a problem, we see you as an opportunity.”

At first, Josh thinks it’s cheesy coach talk, but then he thought of all the times Rodney could’ve walked away, and didn’t. The wall came down. The toughness of Rodney letting him sit in jail, and the tenderness of the faith Rodney had that he could be more than what he was that led Josh to the moment that would change his life. He now uses his experience with Rodney to inform his way of helping all difficult teenagers.

Every kid is one caring adult away from a success story.

Dealing with Difficult Teens

When your kids are small, you are the master of being in control of them. But when they become a teenager, the strategies which had been incredibly effective and helpful no longer work.

At this point, Josh says you have to shift from being an “air traffic controller dad” to more of a “coach dad.” Teenagers will do what they want to do. You can’t control them anymore, but you can influence them.

The pre-game, post-game, and during the game.

If you approach your teen as his or her coach, you need to establish a plan to prepare them for the situations they will encounter.

  • Pre-game – Practice dealing with inevitable challenges. If your kid has a bully or has trouble speaking up for himself, walk him through it at home. Arm kids with a practical thing to say. Act out a dialogue and rehearse it over and over again.
  • Post-game – Review what happened. Go over the outcomes. Identify what went well and celebrate it. Identify what didn’t go well and plan to practice more.
  • During the game – You have little control once your teen is out there on his or her own. Scary things that keep every parent up at night happen when the parent isn’t there – getting in the car with a drunk person, trying a new drug, getting into trouble with the police. That’s why you must prepare them to make wise and critical decisions on their own.

How to Have Those Awkward Conversations

Inevitably, as a dad, you will have to broach difficult subjects with your teen. Josh says, the best way to get started is to name the elephant in the room. Then tell your kid exactly how long you plan to discuss the subject. This gives him a sense of control and relief that they know you won’t give them a never-ending lecture.

Josh offers a different approach for sons or daughters.

  • Talking to your teenage son – The perfect place to have a discussion with your son is during a car ride. Males take face-to-face communication as a threat, so being in the car and looking at the road will keep the feelings more neutral.
  • Talking to your teenage daughter – On the other hand, females feel more comfortable and trusting in a heart-to-heart talk. Sit down with a juice or coffee and talk to them face-to-face.

Josh Shipp’s Ultimate Dad Wisdom

Above all, Josh recommends consistent encouragement and consistent consequences, the tough and tender balance. Fold that into your day-to-day practice. Josh is so committed to this, he sets up an iPhone calendar alert to remind him to speak a specific word of encouragement to each child. Do what you have to do. Even if you feel the kid in your life is beyond your reach and the relationship is incredibly strained, know that your influence and presence in their life makes a difference.

Consistent encouragement and consistent consequences.

 

MENTIONED EPISODE: The Unexpected Secrets of Men, Women, and Sex with Nell Gibbon Daly


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Daddy Will Always Love and Protect You

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Josh Shipp

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