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The Masculine, the Man, and the Mountain with Traver Boehm

The Masculine, the Man, and the Mountain with Traver Boehm


Traver Boehm has a story unlike anything you’ve ever heard. He put himself through an experience most of us would find absolutely terrifying. This interview will inspire you to dig deep inside yourself and look at life in a completely new way.

Traver Boehm is an author, speaker, and founder of the Man Uncivilized Movement, which aims to inspire millions of men to balance their primal and divine masculine traits. He is not a dad or a husband at the moment. He was previously married with a child on the way, but everything came to a crushing end.

This sent Traver on a wild and painful physical, mental, and spiritual journey to discover who he truly was inside and what it means to be the masculine, the man, and the mountain.

'What would I need to do so that on taking that very last breath I would be in peace and I would be whole?'—Traver Boehm #life #death #bucketlist #adversity #selfdiscovery #noregrets Click To Tweet

Traver Boehm’s Story

When Traver talks about his life, you feel like you’re listening to the stories of ten men. In his 5th grade year, his family moved from their small town in Connecticut to Tokyo. He spent the late 80s as a blond-haired kid immersed in Japanese culture. He returned to the US to finish high school, but ended up moving to California where he became a bodyguard for celebrities and millionaires.

Traver left the job though. As exciting as it sounds, guarding a door for twelve hours was a bore, no matter how famous the person he worked for was. He went to the opposite end of the spectrum and enrolled in acupuncture school.

In the midst of his studies, he flew to Thailand to learn Muy Thai and then explored MMA fighting when he returned to Los Angeles. During his training, he discovered crossfit and opened his own gym.

He even started up a chocolate company that combine traditional Chinese herbs with chocolate. Whatever came to his mind, he went out and did it.

His life was full and active. He got married and had a baby on the way. Then it all came to an abrupt end.

And this is just the beginning of his story.

'What is underneath all of me? What happens when you take away my future kid, my wife, my business, my dog, when you take everything from me?'—Traver Boehm #loss #depression #identity #crisis #men #manhood #masculinity Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn About

  • Traver’s herbal chocolate for female libido called “Hungry Kitty”
  • The Year to Live Project, when he decided to live 2016 as if it was his last year on Earth
  • How he decided to spend his hypothetical last moments on Earth
  • How he thought this would heal his past
  • Why he called up all his exes to find out where he was deficient as a man
  • His experience volunteering for hospice and what wisdom dying people shared with him
  • What it means to ‘hold space’ in your daily interactions
  • His dark retreat where he spent 28 days in a completely lightless dome not much bigger than arm’s width wide
  • What prolonged absolute darkness did to his mind
  • How the dark retreat changed his life
  • The difference between divine and primal masculinity and why men need both
  • His advice for raising strong daughters and sons
Think, 'I’m the masculine. I’m the man. I’m the mountain.' It gives you the ability to hold just a bit of space between stimulus and response.—Traver Boehm #men #manhood #dads #fathers #parenting #family #patience #anger Click To Tweet

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Traver Boehm’s Links

How To Make Pain Your Guru | Traver Boehm | TEDxSantaBarbara

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Fatherhood is Leadership

How Fatherhood is Leadership with TEDx Speaker Devon Bandison

We had high performance coach and TEDx speaker Devon Bandison on the show way back in the beginning of GDP. Almost 100 episodes later, Devon is back to explain how fatherhood is leadership on so many levels – in our homes and in our communities. He also talks about how to live life to the fullest without burning out and how to control our thoughts so we can control the emotions that are holding us back. This interview is full of heavy-hitting wisdom. Make sure you take notes!

Devon Bandison

Devon Bandison was born and raised in New York City. He grew up with addiction in his home. One day when he came home, his dad had turned their home into a drug house. He felt guilt and shame. He vowed that when he became a dad, whenever that would be, he would become a better father.

That day soon came when he was twenty-three years old and his daughter was born. He was determined and he was present as a new dad, but he had no clue as to what he was doing. His father didn’t give him the tools or the skillsets for life. But he grew up in the unhealthy belief that men don’t tell men when they need help.

Eventually, Devon began working in the trenches of New York in the Bronx with troubled youth. He helped create programs for new dads that showed them how to navigate everything from diaper changing to communication.

Fathers are showing up more today, and are more intimate with their children than any other time in history.

Devon’s Turning Point

After his third kid was born and during a difficult divorce, Devon took a promotion that made him miserable. He was in a scarcity mindset and thought his wife would take everything. He feared he would end up broke and stuck at a job he hated.

It was this turning point that sent him seeking more. He attended a training seminar where the speaker noticed something special about Devon and offered him a free ticket to a retreat in California. Devon made excuses to himself of why he couldn’t go, but he also knew that if he didn’t take the opportunity, he would regret if for the rest of his life.

There, his mentor told him to build his business around his passion. That’s when Devon took his passion for fatherhood and leadership and created the speaking event that would quickly catapult him into his dream life.

Fatherhood is Leadership

In Devon’s coaching career, he managed lots of men who had every definition of outward success. These same men were also silently suffering inside. They had no fulfillment in their everyday life. They had no true connection to their kids, their wife, or their community.

Most dads burn the candle at both ends and end up breaking down their relationships. Their cup is empty. They become stressed, angry, and frustrated, behaving in ways they don’t want to. They feel like they never had time for anything.

Devon knew that there was a big difference between time management and people pleasing. Most of us say yes to things we really don’t want to do. In doing that, we are saying no to the things that are important to us and die a little inside every time we do it.

This inspired Devon to write a book about how a man can become the best version of himself. He wanted to give fathers the tools they needed to live a life beyond their wildest dreams. He wanted to show them that the more you pour into yourself, the better father you will be. Only by investing in yourself can you be an effective agent of change in the world.

Mentioned Episode: The Art of Charm and Professional Relationships with Jordan Harbinger


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Jim Harshaw on How to Achieve More Success Through Failure


Jim Harshaw believes failure, struggle and setbacks are not only an inevitable part of life but a necessary step on the path to success. Jim Harshaw has learned many life lessons on the wrestling mat. Having been a Division I All American and won three ACC Championships for the University of Virginia, trained at the Olympic Training Center and competed overseas for Team USA he has experienced significant triumph and devastating defeat. He relates those powerful lessons of failure, struggle and setback to empower his audiences to overcome their own challenges and achieve success despite their inevitable failures.

Fear and Failure

If you’re sensitive to harsh words, you may want to cover your eyes. Yeah, it’s a family show, but we’re going to talk about two “F” words. Ready? Here they come: Fear and Failure. Whew! That’s out of the way.

Success is Built on Failure

Jim Harshaw built his success on failures. As a matter of fact, he says each of his successes was built on failure. Early on, his failures, along with his successes, on the wrestling mat, gave him the foundation for the rest of his life. (He even goes on to say that Venture Capitalists in Silicon Valley, CA want to see someone with some type of failure in their background before backing someone.) That said, the life of a successful person is a grind and it’s full of failure.

It’s all about our Mentality when it comes to Failure

So many times, we sabotage our goals and dreams because we cripple ourselves with fear (the first “F” word). We’re afraid of failing (oops, the second “F” word), embarrassment, loss of respect, you name it. Maybe we don’t think successful people fail. Maybe we firmly believe that those who “make it” are just lucky and don’t struggle. Stop it. This is negative thinking. Actually, it’s the successful people who DO fail.

Successful People View Failure Differently

Not only do successful people know that failure will eventually lead to success, they surround themselves with what Jim calls an “environment of excellence.” This would be the people who support and push you forward, give you a confidence check when you need it (yes, we’ve heard this before from so many of our GDP guests!). It’s these people who will be there even when you do fail, so they can share your joy when you succeed.

The Proper Mindset

When this mindset is engrained in your own life, it is only natural that it should carry over to others-particularly, your children. Children have an incredible, innate ability to bounce back from failure early on: they fall down as toddlers trying to walk, get back up and try again. Somehow, though, this ability seems to falter as they grow in school, in sports, and anything else that takes risk. But if you, the parent, the guide, demonstrate through your own recovery from failure, that it is ok and even necessary to fail, your children will follow your lead. What better gift could we give our children than to learn that a great secret to success is mastering how to fail? See? The two “F” words aren’t that bad. When we learn that fearing failure isn’t necessary, and approach failure in a positive way, we are more apt to succeed.

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