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The Secrets to Achieving Wildly Important Goals with Mark Divine

The Secrets to Achieving Wildly Important Goals with Mark Divine


At the start of the year, we are always thinking about goals like losing extra weight, eating healthier, and managing our finances more efficiently, but what about wildly important goals? Have you ever set a goal so challenging that it takes you beyond your limits and changes you forever?

Today’s guest is Mark Divine. He is a former Navy SEAL commander, founder of SEALfit, and author of The Unbeatable Mind. His book was the inspiration for The Dad Edge and he was the first big guest on the show. Mark Divine just completed a burpee challenge to raise money and awareness for veteran suicides, which occur at the horrifying rate of every 22 seconds. This wasn’t a one-time event, but a year-long commitment of doing 300 burpees every single day.

Mark talks about how he pulls through and even thrives on these kinds of challenges. It’s not all grit. He uses breathing techniques, yoga, meditation, and intuition. You will be awed by the insights he shares in this interview. Save this episode to stay connected to your goals so that you can enjoy the fruits of your labor at the end of this year.

'Life is suffering. When we embrace the pain and use it for personal growth, that’s when we start to experience the magic.'—Mark Divine @UnbeatableLife #personalgrowth #adversity #mindset Click To Tweet

 

'You’re not your story, you’re living your story, but you are not your story.'—Mark Divine @UnbeatableLife #yoga #mindfulness #meditation Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • Why he did the burpee challenge
  • How he and his team broke the burpee world record
  • The mantras he used to get him through 300 burpees every morning
  • How he continued the burpee challenge after he broke his foot
  • How the body and mind adapts to a new extreme normal if you have an audacious enough reason
  • How Mark practices intermittent fasting
  • How to chunk down huge goals into smaller SMART goals
  • How to turn goals into an integrative practice that combines mind and spirit
  • The Secrets to Achieving Wildly Important Goals
    • Be flexible – No plan survives contact with reality. You got to find a way to a make a way around obstacles.
    • Identify microgoals – no one can take away foundational successes
    • Be in the present – focus on the experience of life today, not your future goal
    • Organize your life so you can’t fail – eliminate friction points
    • Make it a non-negotiable goal or don’t set it – we have so many goals. Lump goals into one goal. Don’t hope, pretend, or wish. If you just put it on a list, you won’t get to it.
    • Go after your goals, not someone else’s – clarify who you are and why you do what you do. Once you define those things you realize all the efforts you’ve wasted time on.
  • Why you must properly asses your starting point
  • How comparing yourself to others is a huge mistake
  • The danger of becoming attached to the outcome
  • Why what we achieve isn’t that important
  • How SEALs fail their way forward to eventual success
  • What Mark Divine would say if he could have a conversation with his 21-year-old self
  • Embracing the suck
  • The yoga inquiry technique to discover who you are
  • How to connect to your “witness”
  • How killing as a SEAL fits into his perspective now
  • Slow down, simplify your lives, get comfortable in silence
  • Why learning how to be whole is the most important leadership skill
  • Why meditation apps are not real meditation
  • The benefits of box breathing
  • Why people fail at mindfulness meditation
  • How SEALs develop intuitive senses
  • Mark Divine’s new book Uncommon
'Failure is just a figment of one’s imagination.'—Mark Divine @UnbeatableLife #failure #goals #fear #courage #motivation Click To Tweet

RELATED EPISODES

How To Create An Unbeatable Mind with Navy Seal Mark Divine

Create an Unbeatable Mind, Body, and Become Sealfit with Mark Divine


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sealfit.com

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When a Father Commits Suicide

When a Father Commits Suicide

We all go through dark times in our lives. Whether it’s financial difficulties, marital tension, struggles with our children, or failures in our work, we may sometimes wonder if we’re simply a burden to all those around us.

Today’s guest is Adam Schafer. He is a host on Mind Pump, one of the biggest podcasts on iTunes. Adam is not a dad, but he was the son of a father who committed suicide. Adam was seven years old when his dad shot himself, and the tragedy created a shock wave that still reverberates in his life today.

Children whose fathers commit suicide have a 50/50 chance of being suicidal themselves. Adam struggled with isolation and depression because of the impact of his father’s suicide. He shares how he uses times of darkness to forge himself into the man he is today.

'When you decide to exit out of this place early, I don’t think you realize the collateral damage that truly comes from that.'—Adam Schafer #suicide #depression #mentalhealth #men #dads #fathers Click To Tweet

Adam Schafer’s Story

One day, Adam’s uncle came to pick him up from school. He didn’t see his uncle often, so it was a nice surprise for Adam. But instead of going home, he was taken to a neighbor’s house where the whole family was waiting in tears. Adam was told his father shot himself on accident while cleaning his gun. Of course, this wasn’t the truth.

Adam couldn’t process the emotions. He felt guilty because he didn’t cry at the funeral. When Adam returned to school, he didn’t know what to tell the other kids about his father. He told them his dad died in the Air Force and let them fill in the blanks.

His young mom was at a loss as to what to do. She had to take care of Adam and his younger sister. A year later, she married the first man who came into her life. It was an abusive relationship, and at as young as 8 years old, Adam was between his mom and stepdad breaking up fights.

At the same time, they were a very Christian family. Adam learned and listened in church how people were supposed to treat each other, but he would see the opposite at home. He remembers trying to teach his mom and step dad how to communicate with each other. At the age of 10, he felt like he was the most mature person in the household.

Adam’s mother isolated them, avoiding the stigma that came with the suicide. Because of this, Adam never developed certain social skills that most people take for granted, like how to enjoy family gatherings and how to receive gifts. These experiences were never part of his life.

Adam is now 37 years old. Till this day, he is still sifting through the fallout from his dad’s suicide. It has been a complex and difficult journey but it has also helped Adam become more empathetic and self-aware. He has learned to smirk at times of darkness, knowing that the best times of his life are waiting for him on the other side.

'You create so much damage that a person can’t even unpack and figure out.'—Adam Schafer #suicide #depression #loss #grief #children #families #relationships Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • Why you don’t have to have a kid to be in the role of a father
  • How suicide sets up kids for failure later in life
  • How Adam pieced together his father’s suicide
  • What circumstances led to his father’s suicide
  • How the suicide destroyed Adam’s relationship with his mom
  • Why he doesn’t know how to respond to getting gifts
  • His challenges in being part of his wife’s close-knit family
  • How the Bible laid a foundation for his healing
  • How the ripple effect of his dad’s suicide trickles down to younger siblings and to generations past, present, and future
  • Adam’s battle with depression after getting off testosterone
  • His message for dads who are suffering in a pit of darkness
'You’re better off here for sure. In the darkest times, the other side of that is always the best times of my life.'—Adam Schafer #mentalhealth #mentalillness #suicide #suicideawareness #dads #men #fathers Click To Tweet

 

MENTIONED EPISODE: Mind Pump Ep. 837 – Larry Hagner of the Dad Edge Podcast


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mindpumpmedia.com

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video game addiction

Parents’ Guide to Video Game Addiction with Cam Adair


This is a hugely important episode. Video games are part of almost every kids life, but there is a difference between playing for fun and using them to replace real life. Games like Minecraft and Fortnite have become part of our popular culture and make up a large part of kids’ social lives.

According to the World Health Organization, video game addiction is now an official mental health condition. It changes a child’s brain chemistry and can lead to depression and isolation.

In this episode, TEDx speaker Cam Adair talks about his experience with gaming disorder. He also tells us why video games are so addictive, how to recognize the signs of video game addiction in our kids, and how parents can set healthy boundaries for gaming.

'Kids are always going to push your boundaries, but you have to stay firm. And especially for parents, you have to do your own emotional intelligence work yourself.'—@camerondare #gaming #gamingdisorder #videogameaddiction #kids… Click To Tweet

 

About Cam Adair

Cam was raised by a loving mother and father, but he always struggled with anxiety and depression. He used video games as an escape, and they provided him relief for a time. The problem was that escaping his mental health issues didn’t fix anything. Cam became so depressed that at nineteen years old, he didn’t feel like there was any point in continuing his life anymore. He wrote a suicide note and was going to kill himself that night.

Luckily, his friends invited him to go watch a movie. That was enough to distract him from his plans so he could think about what he was doing. He knew that there was a big difference between thinking about suicide and actually planning it. It was serious, and he went home to ask his father to get him counseling.

Cam still struggles with his issues but has found healthier ways to deal with them. He’s also founded GameQuitters.com, a resource for parents and teens on how to prevent video game addiction and how to detox from gaming to get back into a real, fulfilling life.

'The thing that’s always kept me alive is knowing my parents’ love and knowing that ending my life wasn’t just about me…'—@camerondare #dads #men #fathers #moms #mothers #parenting #suicide Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • That 13% of kids between grades 7 and 12 have reported a problem with game addiction
  • The negative impact on the brain every year earlier a child starts with games and screen time
  • How gaming prevents kids from developing the intangible skills they need
  • Why video games are entertaining and fun, but cannot fulfill us in life
  • The paradigm of instant gratification that makes normal life boring
  • The emotional needs gaming and tech fulfill
    • escape
    • social connection
    • measurable progress
    • certainty and purpose
  • How the stimulation of gaming far exceeds what you can get in real life
  • Why kids addicted to video games experience withdrawal
  • The 3 structural brain changes that take place during video game addiction
    • Numbed pleasure response
    • Hyper reactivity
    • Willpower erosion
  • How it takes 90 days for brain to come back to normal levels after quitting gaming
  • Which games are more addictive than others and why
  • The incorporation of ads, in-game offers, and gambling type games online
  • How kids face being a social outcast if they don’t participate in gaming
  • Is there a healthy way to game?
  • What can parents do?
  • The dangers of video game binging
  • Why you should let your kid get bored
  • How to help kids during transition phases during the day
  • How to talk to your child about video game addiction
  • Why knowing what you stand for as a parent will help your child
  • Why you should connect with other parents who share the same goals
'Parents need to live an inspired life to be an example to their kids.'—@camerondare #parenting #parents #moms #dads #children #kids #gaming #fortnite #minecraft Click To Tweet

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Cam Adair’s Links

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jason mackenzie

How Embracing Vulnerability will Strengthen your Resolve and Manhood with Jason MacKenzie


Jason MacKenzie, founder of the Book of Open, had what all of us wanted. Rising on the corporate ladder, two wonderful daughters and a beautiful wife, Jason seemed to have it all-until he didn’t.

“What we don’t realize is this vulnerability reveals our strengths and allows others to learn from our brokenness.”  TWEET THAT

 The “Perfect” Life

The family looks great in the picture. Everyone is smiling; the leaves are falling just so in the background and the day looks as if it couldn’t be more perfect. But it’s not.

Pictures take a frame of time and distort it. What happens in the next frame, or the one after that? The thing is, the picture only tells part of the story; figuratively speaking, scratch the surface of that family photo and you just may find that everything isn’t all that perfect. Sometimes real life is like this, we keep up appearances so that no one can see what is real underneath.

Jason MacKenzie on Keeping it Real

Real makes us vulnerable, real can be scary. But what happens when life makes us face the reality? It is in these intersections that we find out what we are made of. Maybe that’s why life’s realities can be so hard to face, what we are really afraid of is whether or not we are made of tough enough stuff.

Having it all and then losing it in an instant

The life that Jason Mackenzie had longed for was ripped out from underneath him when the mother of his daughters was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. After years of trying to hide the pain of watching his wife literally fall apart before him, Jason had to face the reality that his dream life was gone. His wife committed suicide and left him to raise their two daughters on his own. To deal with the pain of his wife’s condition, Jason turned to drinking. Even after her death, Jason continued into an alcoholic stupor.

Self-Destruction or Empowerment through Vulnerability?

It was at this point that Jason had to make a choice: continue on the self-destructive path and have his daughters watch him deteriorate, or face his reality. With the help of his current wife, Jason decided to stop drinking and take control of his new life. He became vulnerable and did what seemed almost impossible for him to do before, ask for help. So many times as men, we are conditioned to fix problems on our own; asking for help makes us feel weak or incapable. What we don’t realize is this vulnerability reveals our strengths and allows others to learn from our brokenness, especially those closest to us.

Gratitude is a Powerful Force for Strength

As we’ve said many times on the GDP, a grateful attitude can change the way we view situations and circumstances. In the case of Jason Mackenzie, he decided to look at the difficulties he faced and see them from a place of gratitude. Now part of his morning routine, Jason faces tough challenges with a thankful heart because he knows these obstacles are merely vehicles to be of service to others. Through his despair, Jason has been able to help other men confront their own challenges and overcome the fear of vulnerability. He helps them see that the picture isn’t perfect, but it doesn’t have to be and truly, it’s the imperfections that make life’s portrait beautiful.

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

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Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

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Links

Jason MacKenzie Links:

Jason’s  Twitter

Jason’s Blog The Book of Open

Jason’s Facebook

Thank you for checking out this week’s show with Jason MacKenzie, Founder of the Book of Open.