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managing happiness

Managing Happiness: Applying Business Success Principles to Family Life with David Henzel

David Henzel is a radically successful entrepreneur whose calling is to help people live happier lives. Most of us are trying to achieve a work life balance, but we tend to end up overwhelmed and stressed out. Our relationships with our family may be difficult or unfulfilling, but rarely do we give the same attention to detail to our home life as we do to our business. This show is about managing happiness by applying business success principles to your family life.

 

David Henzel

David Henzel is from Germany where his parents raised him in an unusual way – with no authority. David was given the freedom to make his own choices, good or bad, and deal with the consequences himself. He made a lot of stupid decisions, like beginning to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day at age twelve, but his parents gave him space to learn on his own while being a source of unconditional support. In his household, there was no violence or yelling. No matter what he did, he knew he could go to his parents. They were his allies, not adults to hide from.

My dad used to say, “If you have to yell, your argument is too weak.”

David always had the heart of an entrepreneur and dropped out of school early to pursue his dreams. He visited Los Angeles when he was eighteen years old, and felt the city was calling to him, but getting a visa was difficult. He had to open several businesses in Germany to raise enough money to set up his new life in the United States in 2009. David met his wife there, and they later they decided to move back to Europe to be closer to her family. They now live in Turkey with their three-year-old daughter.

Managing Happiness

At one point in their marriage, David’s wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. Thankfully she is cured now, but that dark time forced David to reflect on his life. Although he was a successful entrepreneur, he felt he wasn’t living up to his purpose. He was afraid he might die with regrets.

He pondered over what his purpose was and did a funeral exercise, imagining everyone he knew getting up and making speeches about him. What did he most want them to say?

From this he crafted his personal mission statement.

To be a change agent who’s transforming individuals and organizations so they can reach their full potential and consciously life the life they desire.

Applying Business Success Principles to Family Life

It was during an argument with his wife over who was responsible for changing their daughter’s diaper that David realized that one of the reasons for friction in the household was that no one knew what their roles were. Responsibilities and expectations were not defined like they were in a business environment.

So David and his wife made a list of who took care of which duties. He says this simple exercise took away 80% of arguments out of the relationship. We all spend time and money improving business structure, efficiency, and flow, but most of us don’t spend 1% of our time to make our family work.

David saw the amazing effect his experiment had on his household, and became passionate about sharing his methods. This is why he developed the Managing Happiness course so he could make an impact and, with feedback from participants, let his idea evolve.

The Epidemic of Stress

There is a tendency to want to keep up with the Jones’s. It’s ingrained in our culture that “living the American Dream” means having the big house, the top-of-the-line car, the jewelry for your wife, the latest toys for your kids. But many of those who are lucky enough to achieve this kind of success remain unhappy and don’t know why.

David Henzel says not to buy into what society or your parents think you need to be happy. Figure out what you want in life. Once you know, it’s easy to walk in the direction of your happiness.

A lot of people frantically climb the ladder of success.

David’s Two-Step Approach

David Henzel says happiness really does come from the inside. You can’t control what happens in your life, but you’re in full control of how you react to it. He uses these two simple guides to manage his happiness:

  1. Accept things, no matter how bad the situation is. Then you can react and plan your chess moves. Once you come to terms with reality, the noise in your head goes away. David suggests the Serenity Prayer, God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
  2. Practice gratitude. David has a gratitude rock that he keeps in his pocket all day. We tend to look at the biggest problem of the moment, which six months from now we won’t even remember. At the end of the day, we tend to remember the stressful parts instead of what went right. When we practice gratitude, we build up a gratitude muscle. Focus on the awesome stuff in your day, not the annoying things. You will realize there is so much to be grateful for.

The Managing Happiness Course

David Henzel admits that running a successful business while managing a great family life isn’t easy. Some would say you can’t have it all. But, by applying business principles to your family life, he can help you achieve happiness. That is why he is offering The Good Dad Project listeners 25% off his course.

Visit managinghappiness.com
and enter coupon code DAD when you check out.

 

MENTIONED EPISODE: Porn – Why We Watch It, When It’s a Problem, and How to Stop with Nell Daly


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

David Henzel’s Links

davidhenzel.com

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David Henzel will be joining us for a live discussion
in The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE TO ATTEND!

Dad Edge Alliance

how to pay off mortgage

How to Pay Off Your Mortgage in Five Years with Andy Hill

Finances are a touchy subject that stresses the hell out of all of us. It can especially affect our relationships. Almost one out of every two marriages end in divorce, sixty percent of which are due to financial stress. For most dads, our main goal is to pay off our home mortgage. This seems impossible. How can we pay of a thirty-year mortgage in a matter of years? Today we have Andy Hill from MarriageKidsandMoney.com to tell us how he is paying off his mortgage in less than five years.

Pay Off Your Mortgage in Five Years?

Andy Hill and his wife have been married for seven years. They have two kids, a five-year-old girl and a three-year-old boy. Andy and his wife have been working hard since they’ve been married to create a life that is exciting and live their dreams. So when they bought their dream home, they knew they didn’t want to have the $200,000 debt hanging over them. They set an ambitious plan to work to pay the entire mortgage off in five years.

Today, they have only $29,000 left, which will be paid off at the end of the year. It sounds impossible, or painful, but Andy says it’s the little things that add up to big savings in their household budget that they funnel into paying off their house.

Budget Party

The first step is to get the spouse on board. This is not always easy, but Andy and his wife have a “budget party” once a month to discuss the budget strategy. Andy says not to start the conversation with what must be sacrificed. Make sure you highlight the benefits first. Imagine a life without a house payment? Where could you go? What could you do? Then do a detailed budget and see where all the money is going and start making cuts.

Where families can save money

  1. Pack lunches. You can stay healthier and not spend money this way. Andy saves $100 a month by packing his lunch for work.
  2. Analyzed grocery spending. Andy’s family spent an average of $900 a month on food. To cut back on this expense, they now shop once a week with a list and they stick to it. They switched from Kroger to Aldi and save about $300 a month now. Switch from more expensive stores to discount stores.
  3. Become an aspiring minimalist. Don’t let clutter accumulate. Don’t let things pile up in garage. Look around the house? Does anything you’re not using have value? Sell it online or have a garage sale. Spring cleaning can become profitable.
  4. Cut off the cable. There are so many alternatives to traditional cable. Look at your bill. Analyze the fees. Call and negotiate. Call all providers and find the best deal. Cut back to just internet service.
  5. Go to different stores for bulk items. Things like diapers and baby wipes tend to be more expensive at the grocery store. Go to bulk supermarkets like Costco for these items.

When you feel good about your money, you can do great things that make you feel like a great dad.

Structuring a Household Budget

Andy Hill and his wife set aside money for everything. They include date nights, vacations, and entertainment. Here is how he structures his budget categories:

  1. Transportation (car, public transport)
  2. Utilities, bills, cell phones
  3. Entertainment (game tickets, babysitters, dinners)
  4. Saving up for kids’ college
  5. IRA, retirement
  6. Food
  7. Giving (donations and charities, gifts)
  8. Health, doctor
  9. Home maintenance and improvement
  10. Kids activities (parties, swim lessons)
  11. Miscellaneous or forgotten stuff
  12. Emergency (three months of expenses saved up in case of job loss, natural disaster, etc.)

Andy Hill’s Dad Wisdom

Andy says it’s important to create dreams for yourself and put them out there. Set specific dates to get them done. Ask yourself how your financial goals can support the family you want to have. Do you want the next great thing? Or do you want to give to the world and have new life experiences?

 


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Andy Hill’s Links

marriagekidsandmoney.com

Facebook

Twitter


Create an Epic Life

join The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance

James Krause

Pressure, Perseverance, and Fatherhood with UFC Fighter James Krause

What does an ultimate fighter and a good dad have in common? UFC fighter James Krause tells us about perseverance and pressure and how he thrives off uncertainty and challenge. He also talks about being a father to his 2-year-old girl and how he came to adopt his little sister.

James Krause is an American professional mixed martial artist and entrepreneur, currently competing in the lightweight division of the UFC. He’s also featured on FOX Sports’ reality show, The Ultimate Fighter.

James Krause was born in Newport News, Virginia. His parents divorced when he was two years old. His mother moved them to Missouri where they lived in extreme poverty, sometimes surviving on only $400 a month.

In school, James was physically behind. He was small and got picked on a lot.  At the age of nineteen or twenty, he decided to try mixed martial arts. He didn’t get into fighting with the intention of competing. He wanted to learn how to defend himself and build confidence. He fell in love with the physical act and the fact that a smaller person could defeat a larger person.

You don’t have to be talented to be great.

Perseverance

James Krause says that people don’t succeed because they stop learning. People forget what hard work is and their lives become stagnant.

James never stops learning. He trains every day for the UFC, and he applies the same model to all aspects of his life. Including business, marriage, and fatherhood. He believes in intelligent repetition can allow him to accomplish goals much faster, but it takes passion to persevere. If you want to become successful at something, you must be willing to do it for fee. Hard work beats talent.

If you do something long enough and you just don’t quit, you have no choice than to become good by default.

Pressure

As a fighter, James Krause is subjected to extreme pressure, not just from the challenge of fighting his opponent, but being in front of a live audience as well as on TV. How does he push through the pressure? James says uncertainty and challenge have become essential to his growth. The only way to deal with pressure is to continuously put yourself through it. Embrace and repurpose opportunity, and objectively look at the situation without emotions.

Fatherhood

James Krause’s daughter was born two years ago. When his stepfather died of cancer and his mother ended up in prison, he also adopted his little sister who has been living with him for almost a year. It wasn’t something he and his wife planned to do, but they have been making it work. He looks at it from a positive perspective and thinks it’s one of the best things that could’ve happened to his little sister. Now that she is with him, she can become a much greater person than she would have if she had been raised by his mother.

Life Lessons for His Girls

James Krause never went through phases of drinking and partying in his youth. He feels he learned life lessons before most other people, so he expects more from his kids in advance. He says that some people are a product of their environment and won’t change, but he also knows that everything can be taught and everything can be learned. Being a genuinely good person also goes a long way. James believes that whatever you put out into the world, you will get back.

I don’t expect perfection, but I expect greatness.

 

Watch James Krause on The Ultimate Fighter
FOX Sports Wednesdays at 9pm CST

 



Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

James Krause’s Links

Facebook

Instagram

Twitter

The Ultimate Fighter


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join The Dad Edge Alliance

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Dad Edge Alliance

Prevent Angry Outbursts

5 Ways to Prevent Angry Outbursts

This episode marks 1 year of Thursday Throwdown on the Good Dad Project! Following up on our previous episode with Peter Sacco about Uncovering the Secrets of Anger, we’re going to go over five quick ways we can prevent angry outbursts.

Some of us have issues managing our anger. This is because most men hold things in for way too long. Then we explode when we’ve suddenly hit our limit. We feel shame, regret, and frustration over not being able to control ourselves. But we must remember that anger is a normal emotion and we can put preventative measures in place to prevent angry outbursts.

1. Breathe

We must respond instead of react. If take a moment to breathe first, we can calm ourselves and think before overreacting.

2. Walk away

Sometimes our kids need a time out. Sometimes, WE need a time out. We should find a quiet place and wait for the anger to pass. Then we can approach the conflict rationally.

3. Stay active

Exercise helps us handle stress better. Endorphins give us a sense of well-being. If we blow off some steam during workouts, we will be in a better frame of mind to handle difficult situations at home and work.

4. Surround yourself with right tribe

We are the average of the 5 people we hang out with the most. We must find friends and mentors who help us to be the best version of who we are – like the DAD EDGE ALLIANCE.

5. Apologize

When we apologize to our kids, we show them a tremendous lesson in humility. Just because we are dads doesn’t mean we’re always right. This is a great opportunity to show them that we can put our egos aside and admit when we’re wrong.

 

Did you catch our previous episode? Uncovering the Truth About Anger with Peter Sacco


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Create an Epic Life

join The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance


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Get access to the SEALed Mindset Membership Platform

Normal price: $150-$250 a month

DISCOUNT EXTENDED: $25 a month for GDP listeners (90% lifetime discount)

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Uncovering the Truth About Anger with Peter Sacco

Most men struggle with anger daily. Our tempers flare at work and at home with our wife and kids. Some of us are like Bruce Banner. Some of us turn into the Incredible Hulk. Canada’s psyche doctor, Peter Andrew Sacco tells us the secrets to where anger comes from, how to manage it, and so much more. You don’t want to skip this mind-blowing episode!

We are full-time workers, dads, and husbands. As men, it’s sometimes hard to control our anger. Discovering what type of temperament we have will help us find better ways to manage our anger, improve our relationships, and set an example for our kids on how to deal with their emotions too.

Peter Sacco

Peter Sacco, author of What’s Your Anger Type? is a psychology professor, a former private practitioner and is a regularly featured guest on television and radio. He is also an award-winning executive producer and has hosted many documentaries on relationships, psychological issues, and children’s issues. Peter Sacco has done extensive work in support groups and in anger management, especially with dads who are abusive towards kids and spouses.

Anger is a normal

Anger is a normal emotion. It’s how we deal with it that can be destructive.

Anger makes a person seem more authoritative and powerful, but the truth is that people with an anger problem actually feel they have no control in their lives. A lot of this aggression comes from unresolved issues in childhood and from shame or rage from being rejected as a kid.

Anger can be addictive

Anger is like a drug. When a person gets incensed, they experience an adrenaline rush. Being angry gives the sensation of dominance and control. It overpowers the fear that lies beneath it and gives a person a sense of power because it’s a stronger emotion than depression.

Is there hope for men with anger issues?

Some men who’ve come from a chaotic childhood feel doomed. They believe they’re broken and can’t be fixed. But Peter Sacco says there is tremendous hope for people with anger issues, but they have to do the work.

“You’ve got to want to be the change in your own life”

The Anger Cycle

Just like a soldier who has experienced PTSD, a person with a traumatic or abusive past might cope with unresolved emotions in different destructive ways. Some may use drugs and alcohol, some might vent their rage on certain races, others will withdraw or play the victim.

“Today’s catchers are tomorrow’s pitchers.”

A person who has anger issues will be more likely to take it on one his family. If your relationships fall apart and your work life is full of turmoil, the common denominator is you. It may be time to seek help.

Anger and bullying

Bullied kids lack self-esteem and confidence. They suffer from anxiety and depression. Some overcome it through counseling and become normal. Some cope by learning to be helpless and withdraw. Others develop a superiority complex and become bullies themselves, using aggression, rage, or passive aggression on others.

Why Kids are Suffering from Anxiety and Depression

Parents spend 2.5 to 6.5 minutes talking to their kids each day. In this small amount of time, the communication is usually corrective or punitive. It’s not at a deep intimate level because parents shy away from intimacy from their kids. ADHD has gone up. Divorce rates have risen. Peter Sacco believes it’s this lack of intimacy that’s more responsible than toxins in the environment or ingredients in food. Communication is the key.

Tips for improving communication with your kids

  1. How to start the conversation – If you feel uncomfortable speaking with your kids, find a situation where you’re most comfortable. Dinner is the best and most traditional forum for families to talk. Sit at the table. Make your kids accountable. Every day, ask them to give five things they’re grateful for. Then tell them to talk about one or two things they didn’t like. This will open up communication.
  2. Don’t start out questions with WHY – “Why” pushes someone in a corner. Be a facilitator, don’t treat kids as miniature adults. Don’t say why was your day bad? Say, if your day could go anyway you wanted, what would that be?
  3. Be more creative with questions – Do not be so direct. Maybe some things they’re facing will come out.
  4. Make yourself the go-to guy – Fathers are the breadwinners, and many feel that as long as they provide for their children, they’re doing their job as a parent. Most dads will plan adventures or bond over sports, but these activates focus on the event, not the father/child relationship. Dads should sit down with their kid and ask, “I’m Dad and you’re my child – let me ask you a question. What do I mean to you as a father? How do you see me? The all-knowing problem solver? Nagger? Coach? Disciplinarian? Teacher? How can I be a better dad?”
  5. How to talk about bullying – Kids won’t talk about being bullied because they’re afraid their parents will be ashamed of them. If you suspect bullying, don’t think that nothing’s happening and wait for it to go away on its own. It will wreck a child’s self-esteem. It’s crucial for kids to know that bullying happens in all walks of life. There is nothing to be ashamed of and that they can talk to you about it.

When Dads Get Angry

Even on our best days, our patience will run out. Peter Sacco says that the best way to communicate anger is to tell your kids you’re not feeling well. Tell them you just need a few moments. Instead of making it worse, treat anger like you have an upset stomach or like you’re going to vomit. You don’t want to talk about it. You want to be left alone. You’re not lying by saying you’re not feeling well because anger is a feeling. In a half hour, the emotions pass, and you’ll be in rational mindset to talk.



Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Peter Sacco’s Links

PeterSacco.com

BullyingisfortheBirds.com

Twitter

Facebook


Create an Epic Life

join The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance