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roger mathews

Positive Fatherhood with Roger Mathews


Today we have a celebrity guest, Roger Mathews from the Jersey Shore. He was JWoww’s boyfriend in the show, and they got married and had two kids. They are now divorced, and Roger only gets to be with his children 50% of the time, but that doesn’t stop him from being a 100% dad. What you’re going to hear today about his take on fatherhood is going to surprise you.

Roger Mathews talks about his upbringing and the amazing connection he has with his father. He talks about the lessons in money management he will pass on to his kids, and how he manages their screen time. He gets real about dealing with a special needs child. Most important of all, Roger talks about focusing on the positive in fatherhood and trying to put good things into the world in spite of the chaos that is happening right now.

What You’ll Learn

[20:00]

Before becoming a father, Roger already had an experience of what a great dad is. Roger says that he’s very close to his father and they have a special bond between them.

He describes his dad to be soft-spoken and he would rarely punish his children for doing anything wrong. It was generally his mom who did the heavy lifting.

Here are a few important lessons Roger learned from his dad:

  1. Financial literacy: There was one quote his dad said about finance: “if you can’t pay for something you, you probably don’t deserve it.” Roger says that he himself uses his dad’s quotes to teach his children.
  2. Another quote that Roger remembers, “There’s nothing in this world you can do to extend your time on earth, but there’s a lot of things you can do to shorten it.” This taught Roger early on how crucial his life is and how important it is to protect it.
  3. His dad was a spiritual person and Roger talks about a lot of other quotes that helped him navigate through life with a spiritual perspective.

[30:30]

Coming to Roger as a dad, he’s a proud father of a 4 and a 6-year-old. 

He’s very adventurous and loves to go out whenever he sees a moment. He also encourages his kids to go out.

Roger explains that before getting kids, his life was more “selfish” but after having them, he lives for his kids.

[43:27]

Later in the interview, Roger was asked how be a dad to a special needs child.

Roger says that this is the most common question he gets, and honestly, every child is different. How he treats his child is probably not the best way you should treat yours.

His son, Grayson is diagnosed with autism. Roger says he does everything that needs to be done. His son takes therapy every week and is mild to moderate on the spectrum.

Roger further explains how he hates the word “normal.” He says that every one of us has something different from normal that makes all of us not “normal.”

He emphasizes the point of not giving labels to kids because it goes deeper into their subconscious and becomes their reality.

 


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the loss of a child

The Loss of a Child: One Father’s Story


Having a special needs child is one of the biggest challenges a parent can face. But the loss of a child is so inconceivably painful, many of us can’t bear the thought of it. Today we talk to a man who has endured both.

Zane Shook’s baby had all the chips stacked against him. The doctor gave Zane and his wife the option to abort, but despite the odds, they committed to having their child. Wyatt was born with a chromosomal disorder and severe birth defects that prevented him from ever speaking. He was mentally challenged and unable to walk, but that didn’t keep him from laughing and enjoying life. Wyatt courageously fought to live, but just shy of his eighteenth birthday, he lost the fight.

Zane Shook talks about the little warrior his son was, the joy Wyatt brought to his life, and how he survived the insurmountable grief of losing him. You will want to pay close attention to this special episode.

The dying away of all we thought mattered, with the birth of the only thing that truly matters is dadhood.–Zane Shook

A Warrior Named Wyatt

“I want to tell you about a warrior.
A warrior named Wyatt Zane.
My mentor, hero, cuddle and battle buddy, my son, my king…

Wyatt means small courageous fighter, and courageous in battle.
He lived up to that name.
We won many battles, but sadly, we lost our war…

The only thing harder than losing a child is learning to live again.
You have to find a way to forgive yourself.

When we are shattered, we get to choose how we put ourselves back together.
From pain comes power.
In grief, can greatness be born.
it is beautifully tragic.
Whoever, where ever you are, if you can hear my voice.
I believe in YOU!!
For all the fathers fighting their own battles, big and small,
KNOW THIS…
You are stronger than you realize.
Sleep is overrated, you will endure.
If you can learn to still yourself when you are tired, confused and afraid,
you will not only find a special beauty in that moment, but in yourself.
For this is the fire in which we are truly forged.
Trust your instincts, live, laugh, and love with ferocity.
Wyatt Zane Shook
My Lil Warrior and King
My greatest love”

~Zane Shook

What You’ll Learn

• How learn to live again without your children
• The grief process when losing a child
• Accepting that the grief will be a part of you
• Finding inspiration to keep you grounded
• The guilt a father feels after losing a child
• Giving yourself permission to live again
• When times get dark, bathe in the darkness. Don’t try to fight it.
• Be methodical and precise despite fear and anxiety.
• Put one foot in front of the other—not moving on, but moving forward.
• Zane honors his son Wyatt by staying strong.
• Put a system in place to check yourself.
• How Zane keeps positive—volunteer, go outdoors, hobbies, martial arts, writing, sharing his story with other parents.
• Zane’s upcoming books

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Raising Kids with the Dichotomy of Leadership with Jocko Willink


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

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Zane Shook’s Links

YouTube

Memorial

Instagram

Resources

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The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

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FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Follow The Dad Edge


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