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navy seal tactics for parents

Navy SEAL Tactics for Parents with Chris Sajnog

Retired Navy SEAL, Chris Sajnog, is one of our most popular guests. He is the premier firearms instructor in America, a bestselling author, and the host of the SEAL Training Podcast.

The Dad Edge went to his studio in San Diego for a live, in-person discussion about fatherhood, and we really went deep. Chris was abandoned by his father and carries the wound with him to this day. He vowed not to be like his estranged dad and gave up his accomplished military life to be there for his teenage boys.

Sadly, his sons don’t want to spend time with him. Chris opens up about dealing with the painful lack of connection with his sons, and how he maintains his fatherly presence in their lives.

Chris Sajnog also shares Navy SEAL tactics for parents to help us to learn anything quickly and effectively. He goes over the hard and soft traits we need to cultivate to be balanced men, and how we can apply the warrior mindset to everyday life.

For us to change our lives, we have to change who we identify ourselves as.—Chris Sajnog

Chris Sajnog

Chris Sajnog is a retired Navy SEAL Master Firearms Instructor, Neural-Pathway Training Expert, Speaker and Disabled Veteran Small Business Owner. He is one of the most experienced and respected firearms trainers in the world, being hand-selected to develop the training program for the US Navy SEAL Snipers. As a Navy SEAL he was the senior sniper instructor, a certified Master Training Specialist (MTS), BUD/S and advanced training marksmanship instructor.

After retiring from the SEAL Teams in 2009 to spend time with his family, Chris began training civilians and law enforcement officers. He is the founder of the New Rules of Marksmanship, a revolutionary approach to firearms training and has a passion for finding innovative ways to teach elite-level shooting skills online as rapidly as possible to his students.

He is a federal and state certified firearms instructor and has trained DOD, DHS, FBI, CIA, Law Enforcement, and multiple foreign allies in all aspects of combat weapons handling, marksmanship, and tactics.

He lives in San Diego, CA with his wife Laura and two boys, Caden and Owen.

What You’ll Learn

  • Chris’s mother was a flight attendant. His dad left when he was 2 years old.
  • Chris admits he was not a good student or son.
  • He was voted “most likely to end up in prison.”
  • Even though is dad didn’t want him around, Chris idolized him.
  • Chris’s dad was a manager at Hardee’s.
  • Chris forged documents and had eye surgery under a fake name to make it into the SEALs.
  • How Chris used his adversity as motivation
  • The importance of changing your identity
  • How to get your kid to identify themselves in a different way
  • How Chris gets his rebellious sons to do things that they refuse to do
  • How Chris’s boys don’t appreciate the fact that their father is a Navy SEAL
  • Chris has written his sons love letters and the life lessons he wants to pass onto them.
  • His sons don’t engage with him, but he doesn’t give up. He keeps trying to connect.
  • Navy SEAL tactics for parents
  • The importance of having a strong “why” when learning anything new or challenging
  • How to know whether or not you should quit something
  • How to assess if your path is serving you
  • Stop investing in a life for the wrong reasons that will not make you happy in the long run.
  • Why Chris won’t befriend men who aren’t good dads
  • How Chris turns civilians into warriors
  • The importance of meditation in a gunfight
  • It’s not what you train but how you train.

If you want to get better at being a dad, be around good dads.—Chris Sajnog

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Leading Our Family With Confidence with Chris Sajnog

The 12 Traits of a Warrior Part 1: The Hard Traits with Chris Sajnog

12 Traits of a Warrior Part II: The Soft Traits

Dad Edge Alliance Q&A: Allowing Your Kids to Have Their Feelings with Chris Sajnog


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SEAL Training Podcast

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Bonding with Sons and Daughters

A Father’s Guide to Bonding with Sons and Daughters with Michael Gurian

According to Columbia University, children who have a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to drink, smoke, or use drugs. How we can strengthen the bond between father and son and father and daughter?

Michael Gurian is one of the world’s foremost experts on gender and the brain and has been called “The People’s Philosopher” for his ability to bring together people’s ordinary lives and scientific ideas. He is the NY Times bestselling author of thirty-two books, a keynote speaker, a husband and a father.

Michael tells us the top three reasons why today’s kids aren’t connecting with their dads. He teaches us to discover our assets as fathers and how to invite our kids to utilize them. He also shares the neuroscience behind the differences between bonding with sons and daughters, and how we be the best father to each gender.

Michael Gurian

Dr. Michael Gurian is the New York Times bestselling author of thirty two books published in twenty three languages. He provides counseling services in private practice.  The Gurian Institute, which he co-founded, conducts research internationally, launches pilot programs and trains professionals.

Michael has pioneered efforts to bring neuro-biology and brain research into homes, schools, corporations, and public policy. A number of his books have sparked national debate, including THE WONDER OF GIRLS, THE WONDER OF BOYS, BOYS AND GIRLS LEARN DIFFERENTLY!, THE MINDS OF BOYS and LEADERSHIP AND THE SEXES.

In the 1990s, Michael and his colleagues at the University of Missouri-Kansas City completed a two year pilot study that established best practices for educating boys and girls.  These strategies and Michael’s nature-based gender theory are now used in schools and communities worldwide.

One of the world’s foremost gender experts, Michael travels to approximately 25 cities per year to provide keynotes at conferences and speak at schools and in communities. Michael has served as a trainer and consultant to colleges, corporations, school districts, community agencies, faith communities, criminal justice personnel, and other professionals. His philosophy reflects the diverse cultures (European, Asian, Middle Eastern and American) in which he has lived, worked and studied.

Michael’s work has been featured in nearly all the major media, including the New York Times, the Washington Post, USA Today, Newsweek, Time, People Magazine, the Wall Street Journal, Forbes Magazine, Psychology Today, the Christian Science Monitor, Educational Leadership, the American School Board Journal, Family Therapy, Good Housekeeping, Redbook, and on the Today Show, Good Morning America, the 700 Club, CNN, PBS and National Public Radio.

What You’ll Learn

  • Michael’s mom had mental illness, and he grew up in an environment of violence and sexual abuse.
  • Michael’s father was mostly absent in his life until his dad was eighty years old.
  • It took 10 years of therapy for Michael to process his trauma. Therapy helped him recover and inspired him to become a counselor.
  • He’s been married to his wife 34 years, who is also a mental health counselor. They have two girls, aged 29 and 26.
  • Michael’s marriage advice: Establish domains as a couple. Figure out what each of you are good at and give each other space to do that. This prevents you trying to control each other.
  • Why you should compliment your spouse publicly.
  • Michael’s book, The Stone Boys, and why he wrote a story about traumatized boys.
  • The brain is not gender neutral. It shows differences according to sex beginning in utero.
  • Why we need to understand the male experience better
  • How culture is over-judging males and has lost the sense of value in a fathers’ masculinity
  • Dads are 50% of their kids support and development. They need to claim role in their kids’ lives.
  • Why kids aren’t connecting with dads
    • Divorce and child custody processes typically vilify the father.
    • The father abdicates to the mother or others because he doesn’t understand his role. He is afraid to assert himself as a father.
    • The father fails to invite the child to utilize him for the assets he has. He must be a presence. It doesn’t have to be deep conversation. Fathers and kids can bond with sports, movies, video games, and other activities.
  • Don’t be too permissive. Kids want structure.
  • How to be authoritative, not authoritarian.
  • The structure of a boy’s brain is wired to be more active. More blood flow goes to the doing part of the brain.
  • Females have more blood flow to the front and top of the brain. They solve problems internally by thinking and connect to emotive parts of brain.
  • Why females create rumination loops, leading to depression and anxiety.
  • How dads can listen to their daughters for ruminating, find the right time to step in, do a reality check, and offer suggestions.
  • Boys don’t have as many words for feelings as girls.
  • How dads can help their boys get their feelings out
  • What special activities dads can do with their daughters and sons to make the bond strong.
  • Figure out who you are as a dad and what your assets are.
  • Find common interests with your kids. Ritualize doing these things with your kids so you can establish your presence as the dad.
  • Gauge what your spouse is doing. What has she got covered? Where can you fill in the gaps as a husband and father?
  • The difference between maternal and paternal nurturing
  • How trauma effects boys and girls
  • Signs of trauma—if your child suddenly becomes withdrawn, angry, or isolated, he or she may have been traumatized.
  • More kids are traumatized than we realize.
  • How the dad spirit organically works in the family dynamic. Trust it and embrace it.

RELATED EPISODES:

Taking Action as the Head of Your Family

Modern Manhood: What it Means to Be a Good Man Today with Cleo Stiller

Imposter Syndrome: Defeating Your Inner Bully with Dr. Jamie Hope


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The Smart Way to Keep Kids Safer Online

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text messages, YouTube, emails, and 24 different social networks
for potential safety concerns,
so busy parents can save time and gain peace of mind.

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Use coupon code GOODDAD at checkout for 10% off


Michael Gurian’s Links

MichaelGurian.com

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We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

LINKS


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Modern Rites of Passage for Today’s Boys

What is a rite of passage? What purpose did it serve in a boy’s life? How can we create modern rites of passage for today’s boys?

In this Thursday Throwdown, we are excited to have Tim Wright. He is a pastor, author, podcaster, and co-leader of The Helping Boys Thrive Summit with Michael Gurian. Today he talks about the history of the rite of passage and what significance it had in different cultures. He also tells us how we can create rites of passage or manhood ceremonies for our sons in every stage of life.

“If we don’t harness the energy of boys, they’ll either become passive or destructive.”—Tim Wright

Tim Wright

Tim Wright has been a pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America since 1984. In 2005, he started Community of Grace in Peoria, Arizona. He’s authored five books and has trained pastors and church leaders throughout the US and around the world. Along with Michael Gurian, he co-created the rite of passage program: Following Jesus: A Heroic Quest for Boys. He and his wife, Jan, raised a daughter and a son. They are now happily investing their lives in their three grandchildren.

What You’ll Learn

  • Why we should mark milestone events for boys (and girls)
  • Different stages in life to honor with ceremony: turning 16, turning 21, marriage, first child.
  • There are many men in boys’ bodies because they never made the transition into manhood.
  • The structure of the rite of passage process
  • How boys who don’t have rites of passage will create their own negative rituals, like college hazings.
  • Boys used to work alongside their fathers and grandfathers on the farm. Modern boys are raised by women and dads have outsourced their parenting to schools and coaches.
  • Boys are now behind in school and in the job market.
  • The ideal age to initiate a rite of passage.
  • Forming modern rites of passage around challenges your son will face like money, sex, and alcohol.
  • Instilling HEROIC values:
    • Honorable
    • Enterprising
    • Responsible
    • Original
    • Intimate
    • Creative
  • How to know when to help your son and when to let him help himself.

MENTIONED EPISODES:

The Transition from Boy to Man

Creating a Rite of Passage Experience for Your Son

Modern Manhood: What it Means to Be a Good Man Today with Cleo Stiller


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The Smart Way to Keep Kids Safer Online

Bark’s affordable, award-winning dashboard proactively monitors
text messages, YouTube, emails, and 24 different social networks
for potential safety concerns,
so busy parents can save time and gain peace of mind.

CLICK HERE TO GET BARK
Use coupon code GOODDAD at checkout for 10% off

 


Tim Wright

timwrightministries.org

wonderofparenting.com

The Wonder of Parenting Podcast

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Wild at Heart with John Eldredge

Wild at Heart with John Eldredge

The Dad Edge Podcast is honored beyond words to have John Eldredge on the show. He is the author of the bestselling book Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul and is here to talk about our core needs as men and our constant quest for validation.

He also shares life-changing insights on how to become a student of our child’s heart and interpret their experiences for them so that they can become happier, stronger adults.

 

On being a dad: 'It’s not about perfection. It’s about love.' – John Eldredge @ransomedheart #dads #fathers #fatherhood #parenting Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • The inspiration for John Eldredge’s book, Wild at Heart
  • How we are in the midst of the collapse of gender
  • Why guys are confused on what it means to be a man
  • How men can be restored by doing internal work
  • Why most men don’t know they have a genuine strength to offer the world
  • How most of us ‘fake it’ through life, but inside, we doubt who we are
  • What things men are compensating for
  • Why men are so afraid to fail
'The number one ingredient for a child's success is having a dad who cares and who is involved.' – John Eldredge @ransomedheart #dads #fathers #fatherhood #parenting Click To Tweet
  • What it means to be a student of your child’s heart and why you need to become one
  • How to start giving your kids low-grade challenges to build their confidence
  • How to also implement low-grade failures so they can discover that they will survive through setbacks
  • How looking to your kid as a source of personal validation is damaging
  • How to wire your parenting for each child
  • How to be a dad to daughters
  • How a father defines his daughters identity
  • What a father can do to ensure his daughter trusts masculine strength
  • What to do when you blow up and anger
  • How to not let your child’s feelings turn into ‘agreements’ or negative conclusions about life
  • How to take the power of validation away from high-pressure situations
'A man will design his entire life to avoid anything that might expose him, and to only stay in the areas where he is getting some validation.' – John Eldredge @ransomedheart #men #dads #fathers #masculinity #comfortzone #fear… Click To Tweet

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THE DAD EDGE SUMMIT 2018

JUNE 7TH – 9TH – ST. LOUIS

Are you an extraordinary father looking to accelerate in all aspects of your life?
Are you looking to connect to like-minded Dads that want to come together to strengthen and grow in their abilities both personally and professionally?
The Dad Edge 2018 Summit (Live Event) will set you up to do exactly that.

LEARN MORE


Resources

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

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Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

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Links


Create an Epic Life

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Dad Edge Alliance

GDP 132 - Drugs, Alcohol, and Fatherhood with Omar Pinto

Drugs, Alcohol, and Fatherhood with Omar Pinto

Today we have Omar Pinto, host and founder of the wildly popular SHAIR Podcast. SHAIR stands for Sharing Helps Addicts in Recovery. He’s part of our Dad Edge Alliance and he’s also a friend.

“O” shares the heart-wrenching story of the son he had to give up. He also takes us through his insane addiction to cocaine and alcohol, and how he not only survived, but transformed into one of the most well-known voices in recovery today. This is a special episode you will not forget!

The SHAIR Podcast

Drugs and alcohol are one of the most popular topics on the GDP. Many of us drink alcohol –  some of us are social drinkers, some of us might drink a lot – we’re all over the spectrum, but we’re all curious if we’re depending on it too much. There also might be some recreational drug users in the community who may wonder if their life could be better without drugs, but are too afraid to ask for help.

Omar Pinto has a huge fan base and he’s changing lives. Every week The SHAIR Podcast broadcasts amazing life-changing success stories from addicts and alcoholics all over the world and shares their inspiring journey into recovery. He also manages a 100% private Facebook accountability group for active and recovering alcoholics and addicts. His passion and life’s purpose is to inspire people struggling with addiction to take that first step towards recovery, to show them that their life could be so much better and that there is a better way to live.

Omar’s Story

Came from a dysfunctional home. His mom was Jehovah’s Witness, but his dad left the religion and it became a constant source of tension in the home. His dad was explosive and he grew watching parents fight all the time. At one point, Omar remembers that they each had their own bedroom, and he thought that when he got older he would do the same. This was normal to him.

His dad’s side of the family were heavy drinkers, but no one ever said the word “alcoholic.” They were social drinkers, weekend warriors. There was never a wedding, birthday, or funeral where alcohol was not involved.

Omar had low self-esteem as a kid. He worried about how he looked, whether he was smart, and if he would ever be a good athlete. He was a C student who had no special talents. Worst of all, he had a difficult time trying to fit in because his mom was Jehovah’s Witness. He couldn’t go to parties or participate in holiday activates. He was isolated and lost. It’s no wonder that drinking appealed to him.

At the age of seventeen, he got a job at a steakhouse. He left with a fat stack of cash every night and it was party time. He had no goals or aspirations. He was attending college, but not getting anywhere. He was already living the dream – a career waiter. The fun he was having was irresistible. But he started to drink on the job and one day passes out and gets fired.

He spent five years in college and didn’t get a degree. He decided to move to LA and get into the mortgage business. This was before the recession hit, and he was making the bucks. He met a girl and started a volatile relationship. Dysfunction seeks dysfunction. Omar was always wanted to be the hero, so he attracted victims. Once he rescued them, he took them hostage. Omar says he was an angry person; anger protected him and kept him sharp. His girlfriend moved in, and they had serious fights. He would go to work with scratch marks on his face.

After multiple break ups and reunions, he finally said he’s done with her for good. He was free and finally ready to move on with his life. A week later, his ex-girlfriend called.

She’s pregnant.

Fatherhood Nightmare

Omar was distraught. He called his dad and cried to him, but instead getting a sympathetic ear, his father told him, “Stop crying and man up. You’re twenty-five. You have nothing going for you. You couldn’t finish college. You can’t hold a steady job. This is the best thing that could happen to you. This will teach you how to be a man.”

The tears just stopped. Omar put his head back, and said, “Alright, Dad.”

His pregnant girlfriend moved back in, and the nightmare continues. It was rough, but Omar pushed through. As soon as his son was born, she left him to stay with her parents.

A constant battle to see his son ensued. Each time he tried to make arrangements, she avoided him or put him off. He spent the next year trying to see him. Finally, he told her, “If you want, you take full custody and relinquish me of any financial responsibility.” That was the offer she had been waiting for. She never answered him, just sent the papers. He was done.

The Descent into Addiction

Omar was broken and in a serious depression, he never stopped thinking about his son. Then someone offered him an online casino job in Costa Rica. This is where he met his present wife and the drug that would lead him into destruction.

Omar was told that above all, he had to fit in. His contacts and partners were valuable to the business. When he met all his coworkers, he couldn’t believe what insane partiers they were. They had bars in their offices. They even smoked weed right there at work. Omar drank and got high at work every day, having the best time ever.

One night, Omar was falling asleep on the desk. All his coworkers were on the way to the casino, but he told him he was too tired to go. How did they have the energy to stay out all night? Then one of the guys offered Omar some cocaine. The clouds parted. The angels sang. Omar felt like it was the secret elixir of success.

But it doesn’t take long to degrade into a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde situation. Omar’s problem skyrocketed. He regularly fell into coke-induced psychosis and paranoia, disappearing on binges and acting on insane delusions.

During the same time, he married his new wife and she was pregnant. But he couldn’t stop. One night, with his heart racing so fast he had to down booze and sedatives to prevent a heart attack, he hit an all time low. He got on his knees and prayed for God to take him out of this world or get him clean.

He woke up the next day, got in his car, and drove to his therapist. “I need help,” he finally said. The therapist new of a Narcotics Anonymous meeting that was starting in an hour. Omar made it. He shared his story. The people surrounded him. That was the beginning his journey into recovery.

A Life of Purpose in Recovery

The 12 Steps radically changed Omar’s life. They allowed him to work through his father’s death and the unresolved situation with his son. Omar knew his story might inspire people to make the first step toward recovery. He created The SHAIR Podcast for those who are suffering from this disease who are hiding behind a veil of shame, those who are isolated behind a computer who just need one ray of hope and support to get started.

Thanks to the program that saved his life, Omar is still with his beautiful wife and his daughter who is now fourteen-years-old. He surrounds himself with people with the same values and principles. Fidelity, loyalty, and responsibility are non-negotiable. As painful as the situation with his son was, Omar says he wouldn’t be the man he is today or appreciate his family like he does today if he hadn’t gone through it. Now, it’s his goal to be the best dad he can be for his daughter.

Omar’s Dad Wisdom

If you are lost and haven’t quite found out how to communicate with your kids and be a good father, you have to view your circle of influence.

If you have sucky friends who are shitty dads, get rid of them. Find guys who are solid who care about their children.

 

If you’re struggling with drugs and alcohol and you’re afraid to ask for help, if you’re afraid to be found out, go to SHAIR Private Facebook group. You will be welcomed and surrounded with absolute love and support.
CLICK HERE TO JOIN.

 

Mentioned Episodes:

Porn – Why We Watch It, When It’s a Problem, and How to Stop with Nell Daly

SHAIR 134: “DO EPIC SHIT” with Larry Hagner of The Good Dad Project and The Dads Edge Alliance


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Daddy Will Always Love and Protect You

Links

Omar Pinto

theshairpodcast.com

Facebook

Private Facebook Group

Twitter


Are you ready to create an epic life

YES, I AM!

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