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GDP 132 - Drugs, Alcohol, and Fatherhood with Omar Pinto

Drugs, Alcohol, and Fatherhood with Omar Pinto

Today we have Omar Pinto, host and founder of the wildly popular SHAIR Podcast. SHAIR stands for Sharing Helps Addicts in Recovery. He’s part of our Dad Edge Alliance and he’s also a friend.

“O” shares the heart-wrenching story of the son he had to give up. He also takes us through his insane addiction to cocaine and alcohol, and how he not only survived, but transformed into one of the most well-known voices in recovery today. This is a special episode you will not forget!

The SHAIR Podcast

Drugs and alcohol are one of the most popular topics on the GDP. Many of us drink alcohol –  some of us are social drinkers, some of us might drink a lot – we’re all over the spectrum, but we’re all curious if we’re depending on it too much. There also might be some recreational drug users in the community who may wonder if their life could be better without drugs, but are too afraid to ask for help.

Omar Pinto has a huge fan base and he’s changing lives. Every week The SHAIR Podcast broadcasts amazing life-changing success stories from addicts and alcoholics all over the world and shares their inspiring journey into recovery. He also manages a 100% private Facebook accountability group for active and recovering alcoholics and addicts. His passion and life’s purpose is to inspire people struggling with addiction to take that first step towards recovery, to show them that their life could be so much better and that there is a better way to live.

Omar’s Story

Came from a dysfunctional home. His mom was Jehovah’s Witness, but his dad left the religion and it became a constant source of tension in the home. His dad was explosive and he grew watching parents fight all the time. At one point, Omar remembers that they each had their own bedroom, and he thought that when he got older he would do the same. This was normal to him.

His dad’s side of the family were heavy drinkers, but no one ever said the word “alcoholic.” They were social drinkers, weekend warriors. There was never a wedding, birthday, or funeral where alcohol was not involved.

Omar had low self-esteem as a kid. He worried about how he looked, whether he was smart, and if he would ever be a good athlete. He was a C student who had no special talents. Worst of all, he had a difficult time trying to fit in because his mom was Jehovah’s Witness. He couldn’t go to parties or participate in holiday activates. He was isolated and lost. It’s no wonder that drinking appealed to him.

At the age of seventeen, he got a job at a steakhouse. He left with a fat stack of cash every night and it was party time. He had no goals or aspirations. He was attending college, but not getting anywhere. He was already living the dream – a career waiter. The fun he was having was irresistible. But he started to drink on the job and one day passes out and gets fired.

He spent five years in college and didn’t get a degree. He decided to move to LA and get into the mortgage business. This was before the recession hit, and he was making the bucks. He met a girl and started a volatile relationship. Dysfunction seeks dysfunction. Omar was always wanted to be the hero, so he attracted victims. Once he rescued them, he took them hostage. Omar says he was an angry person; anger protected him and kept him sharp. His girlfriend moved in, and they had serious fights. He would go to work with scratch marks on his face.

After multiple break ups and reunions, he finally said he’s done with her for good. He was free and finally ready to move on with his life. A week later, his ex-girlfriend called.

She’s pregnant.

Fatherhood Nightmare

Omar was distraught. He called his dad and cried to him, but instead getting a sympathetic ear, his father told him, “Stop crying and man up. You’re twenty-five. You have nothing going for you. You couldn’t finish college. You can’t hold a steady job. This is the best thing that could happen to you. This will teach you how to be a man.”

The tears just stopped. Omar put his head back, and said, “Alright, Dad.”

His pregnant girlfriend moved back in, and the nightmare continues. It was rough, but Omar pushed through. As soon as his son was born, she left him to stay with her parents.

A constant battle to see his son ensued. Each time he tried to make arrangements, she avoided him or put him off. He spent the next year trying to see him. Finally, he told her, “If you want, you take full custody and relinquish me of any financial responsibility.” That was the offer she had been waiting for. She never answered him, just sent the papers. He was done.

The Descent into Addiction

Omar was broken and in a serious depression, he never stopped thinking about his son. Then someone offered him an online casino job in Costa Rica. This is where he met his present wife and the drug that would lead him into destruction.

Omar was told that above all, he had to fit in. His contacts and partners were valuable to the business. When he met all his coworkers, he couldn’t believe what insane partiers they were. They had bars in their offices. They even smoked weed right there at work. Omar drank and got high at work every day, having the best time ever.

One night, Omar was falling asleep on the desk. All his coworkers were on the way to the casino, but he told him he was too tired to go. How did they have the energy to stay out all night? Then one of the guys offered Omar some cocaine. The clouds parted. The angels sang. Omar felt like it was the secret elixir of success.

But it doesn’t take long to degrade into a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde situation. Omar’s problem skyrocketed. He regularly fell into coke-induced psychosis and paranoia, disappearing on binges and acting on insane delusions.

During the same time, he married his new wife and she was pregnant. But he couldn’t stop. One night, with his heart racing so fast he had to down booze and sedatives to prevent a heart attack, he hit an all time low. He got on his knees and prayed for God to take him out of this world or get him clean.

He woke up the next day, got in his car, and drove to his therapist. “I need help,” he finally said. The therapist new of a Narcotics Anonymous meeting that was starting in an hour. Omar made it. He shared his story. The people surrounded him. That was the beginning his journey into recovery.

A Life of Purpose in Recovery

The 12 Steps radically changed Omar’s life. They allowed him to work through his father’s death and the unresolved situation with his son. Omar knew his story might inspire people to make the first step toward recovery. He created The SHAIR Podcast for those who are suffering from this disease who are hiding behind a veil of shame, those who are isolated behind a computer who just need one ray of hope and support to get started.

Thanks to the program that saved his life, Omar is still with his beautiful wife and his daughter who is now fourteen-years-old. He surrounds himself with people with the same values and principles. Fidelity, loyalty, and responsibility are non-negotiable. As painful as the situation with his son was, Omar says he wouldn’t be the man he is today or appreciate his family like he does today if he hadn’t gone through it. Now, it’s his goal to be the best dad he can be for his daughter.

Omar’s Dad Wisdom

If you are lost and haven’t quite found out how to communicate with your kids and be a good father, you have to view your circle of influence.

If you have sucky friends who are shitty dads, get rid of them. Find guys who are solid who care about their children.

 

If you’re struggling with drugs and alcohol and you’re afraid to ask for help, if you’re afraid to be found out, go to SHAIR Private Facebook group. You will be welcomed and surrounded with absolute love and support.
CLICK HERE TO JOIN.

 

Mentioned Episodes:

Porn – Why We Watch It, When It’s a Problem, and How to Stop with Nell Daly

SHAIR 134: “DO EPIC SHIT” with Larry Hagner of The Good Dad Project and The Dads Edge Alliance


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Daddy Will Always Love and Protect You

Links

Omar Pinto

theshairpodcast.com

Facebook

Private Facebook Group

Twitter


Are you ready to create an epic life

YES, I AM!

Dad Edge Alliance

Shane Ramer

Overcoming Addition and Becoming a Dad with Purpose with Shane Ramer


Shane Ramer, founder and host of That Sober Guy Podcast, comes on the GDP and shares an extremely raw interview on addiction, substance abuse, recovery, and being a dad with purpose.  Brace yourself for this amazing interview with Shane Ramer.

It’s the elephant in the room. Everyone knows it’s there, but no one wants to say anything; better to keep the status quo than rock the boat. No one knows what will happen if the boat is rocked and that is scary. At the same time, we hate the elephant; it is destroying our family, our other relationships and possibly our job. The elephant is addiction and addiction is hard to admit. Shane Ramer, founder of thatsoberguy.com, knows this reality all too well.

 

Shane Ramer’s Childhood and Background

Growing up, Shane turned to alcohol to soothe the pain he endured dealing with a troubled childhood. As he became an adult, Shane realized that he was using alcohol to escape life’s realities and soon came face-to-face with the fact that his own marriage was struggling because of it. He hit a wall. He could not longer stand the elephant in the room. With that, he sat down with his wife and said he needed help. Shane knew he was meant for something much more than where he was.

 

Going through intensive counseling and support from his family and friends, Shane learned to manage his life as an alcoholic. Knowing that he wasn’t the only one struggling, Shane started thatsoberguy.com in order to help other men struggling with similar issues. Today, Shane is a successful businessman, husband and father, dedicated to helping men voice their fears that keep them in the bonds of addiction.

 

But I’m Not an Addict

 

We’re not saying you are, but the lessons Shane discusses reach to all men. Society is great at telling boys that real men don’t cry, “suck it up” and never show emotion. So what do you do with all that pent-up emotion? Maybe you already have a healthy way of showing emotion, or maybe you need a little liquid courage to loosen up or just maybe you can’t get to work in the morning without your daily beer. Wherever you are on the spectrum, the learning to deal with fears and emotions without bottling them up will make you and those around you much happier.

 

It’s Ok to Talk About It

 

Again, we men are great at helping others solve their problems. That’s what we think we are here for. Our own problems? What problems? Oh! You mean the ones we don’t talk about? Well, we’ll be fine. Will we? Take a look at your own life and think about areas where your bottled-up emotions eat away at your true self. What is the worst thing that is going to happen if you talk to someone about your issues? You actually may deal with them? Whoa. What about your Man Card? Guess what, it’s safe and secure and probably in better condition than it was when you kept your fears and feelings to yourself.

 

Be A Man

 

Being a man means owning up to all areas of our lives. Even our fears. Showing up as the best dad, husband, employee and friend takes guts. Owning our issues takes even more guts and grit. You’ve got it in you, so be the best man you can be right now.

Resources:

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Shane Ramer:

Shane Ramer Twitter

Shane Ramer Website

Shane Ramer That Sober Guy Podcast

Shane Ramer Private FB Page (invite/request entry only)

jason mackenzie

How Embracing Vulnerability will Strengthen your Resolve and Manhood with Jason MacKenzie


Jason MacKenzie, founder of the Book of Open, had what all of us wanted. Rising on the corporate ladder, two wonderful daughters and a beautiful wife, Jason seemed to have it all-until he didn’t.

“What we don’t realize is this vulnerability reveals our strengths and allows others to learn from our brokenness.”  TWEET THAT

 The “Perfect” Life

The family looks great in the picture. Everyone is smiling; the leaves are falling just so in the background and the day looks as if it couldn’t be more perfect. But it’s not.

Pictures take a frame of time and distort it. What happens in the next frame, or the one after that? The thing is, the picture only tells part of the story; figuratively speaking, scratch the surface of that family photo and you just may find that everything isn’t all that perfect. Sometimes real life is like this, we keep up appearances so that no one can see what is real underneath.

Jason MacKenzie on Keeping it Real

Real makes us vulnerable, real can be scary. But what happens when life makes us face the reality? It is in these intersections that we find out what we are made of. Maybe that’s why life’s realities can be so hard to face, what we are really afraid of is whether or not we are made of tough enough stuff.

Having it all and then losing it in an instant

The life that Jason Mackenzie had longed for was ripped out from underneath him when the mother of his daughters was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. After years of trying to hide the pain of watching his wife literally fall apart before him, Jason had to face the reality that his dream life was gone. His wife committed suicide and left him to raise their two daughters on his own. To deal with the pain of his wife’s condition, Jason turned to drinking. Even after her death, Jason continued into an alcoholic stupor.

Self-Destruction or Empowerment through Vulnerability?

It was at this point that Jason had to make a choice: continue on the self-destructive path and have his daughters watch him deteriorate, or face his reality. With the help of his current wife, Jason decided to stop drinking and take control of his new life. He became vulnerable and did what seemed almost impossible for him to do before, ask for help. So many times as men, we are conditioned to fix problems on our own; asking for help makes us feel weak or incapable. What we don’t realize is this vulnerability reveals our strengths and allows others to learn from our brokenness, especially those closest to us.

Gratitude is a Powerful Force for Strength

As we’ve said many times on the GDP, a grateful attitude can change the way we view situations and circumstances. In the case of Jason Mackenzie, he decided to look at the difficulties he faced and see them from a place of gratitude. Now part of his morning routine, Jason faces tough challenges with a thankful heart because he knows these obstacles are merely vehicles to be of service to others. Through his despair, Jason has been able to help other men confront their own challenges and overcome the fear of vulnerability. He helps them see that the picture isn’t perfect, but it doesn’t have to be and truly, it’s the imperfections that make life’s portrait beautiful.

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

Links

Jason MacKenzie Links:

Jason’s  Twitter

Jason’s Blog The Book of Open

Jason’s Facebook

Thank you for checking out this week’s show with Jason MacKenzie, Founder of the Book of Open.

Jack Canfield

Reflections with Jack Canfield


I recently had the honor of interviewing Jack Canfield one-on-one for an hour.  I have to tell you it was one the most inspiring interviews I have done to date.  For those of you who don’t know Jack Canfield, he is one of the most successful authors and success coaches of our time.  He known world-wide for his Chicken Soup for the Soul Series and his Success Principles Series.  His books have reached the lives of over 100 million readers and his inspiration is reaching more people every day.

 

Before I did this interview, I only knew Jack Canfield as the successful person he is today.  I have often heard the quote: “When you see a successful person, we usually only see the tip of the iceberg.  We usually don’t see all the hardships, failures, and challenges these people have gone through in their lives to get where they are today.”  After spending an hour with Jack, I can tell you I was shocked to hear about his challenging childhood with alcoholic parents, the number of times he was rejected for “Chicken Soup for the Soul” (144 rejections), and that he earned a C+ in writing at Harvard.

 

Below are just few takeaways I learned from spending just 60 minutes with Jack Canfield

 

DON’T LET YOUR CHILDHOOD CRIPPLE YOU

Jack had a very difficult childhood raised by a father who was an alcoholic. The cool thing about Jack Canfield is that he used his childhood as an example of what he didn’t want to be as an adult. The main point is we have people in or society that live in two camps.

 

Camp #1- Those of us who leverage challenging times to fuel our future success.

 

Camp #2- Those of us who use our backgrounds for excuses as to why we are not successful and never will be.

 

So my question to you guys is: “WHAT CAMP DO YOU LIVE IN?”

 

If you are in camp #2:  Congrats because you have made an awesome choice on the path to an empowering life versus a victim mentality life. If you are in camp #1:  it’s time to re-evaluate your life and ask yourself better questions. If you are in camp one…go back and listen to Episode 28 with Navy Seal Commander Mark Divine on HOW TO CREATE AN UNBEATABLE MIND. That episode will give you a solid foundation on how to forge mental toughness and become resilient.

 

DON’T LET YOUR GRADES DICTATE YOUR SUCCESS IN LIFE

Jack got a “C+” in writing at Harvard and was always told he was an “average writer.” Jack is now one of the most successful authors of our time. Had he listened to his professors at Harvard and didn’t move forward with his passion to tell stories, our generation would not know the Jack Canfield we know today and he would have never had such a positive impact on the world. S

 

So, my question to you is: “WHAT HAVE OTHER PEOPLE TOLD YOU ABOUT YOUR SKILL OR PASSION THAT YOU HAVE BOUGHT INTO?”  What if for a minute you no longer bought into those labels?  What if you decided to step into your greatness?  What would be the worst that could happen?  I grantee 2 things are certain:

 

  1.  If you failed you would be no worse off than you are right now.

 

  1. If you decided to pursue your dream, whether you failed or succeeded, you would not live a life of “I wish”. Pay Flynn has a great quote that really hits this home which is…”I would rather have a life of “oh-wells and not a life of I wish I would haves.”

 

DON’T LET FAILURE STOP YOU

Jack was rejected by 144 publishers for his first “Chicken Soup for the Soul” Book. Let that sink in for a second…144 rejections. How would you feel about your purpose/passion if you were rejected 5 times, 10 times, 50 times, or even 100 times? What if Jack Would have thrown in the towel at the 143rd rejection?  The cool thing that Jack Canfield mentioned is that he would have self-published no matter what. It’s empowering to have a backup plan and know you will move forward even if it’s on your own when no one else believes in you.  The lesson here is to fail forward and not give up. Each time we fail there is a life lesson, we learn, and we move forward.

 

Guys, thank you for tuning in to our new segment – Five Minute Thursday’s. The goal of this mid-week podcast is to give you the powerhouse cliff notes of the week, to kick start your weekend, and ultimately to empower your life. Guys make sure you head to gooddadproject.com to get several free resources. Also make sure you grab a copy of “The Dads Edge” on Amazon. It’s an easy read and has become a bestseller.

 

See you next week with a powerhouse guest!  Up next week have Jason Mackenzie with The Book of Open, we also have Joe De Sena, founder of the Spartan Races and NYT BESTSELLER of SPARTAN UP. FINALLY also have professional UFC fighter Frankie Edgar also coming up in a few weeks.

 

Guys have a great weekend and live your life with purpose and without regret!

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Jack Canfield Links:

Jack Canfield Website

The 30 Day Solution

Jack Canfield Facebook Fan Page

Jack Canfield Twitter

jack canfield

How to Accelerate Personal Achievement and Life Fulfillment with Jack Canfield

Jack Canfield, author of Chicken Soup for the Soul as well as a new book, 30 Day Sobriety Solution, gives a fresh perspective on this sometimes difficult balance,

“Every life has its benefits and costs and once you realize that, you get out of jealousy and resentment.”

-Jack Canfield TWEET THAT

Jack Canfield on Resiliency

So, maybe you didn’t have the best childhood, or maybe you grew up with every privilege under the sun. It really doesn’t matter. It’s really all about how you come out of the situation and how you respond to the situations you’ve been through. Through this, you provide your children with the ultimate example of resiliency and success.

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself. They come through you, but not from you. And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.”- Khalil Gibran.

Wow. Such an impactful statement, but one that might be hard to put into practice. We want so much for our children to have the best of everything that we sometimes lose sight of our role in their lives. Sometimes we forget that our children are their own person, not a smaller replica of ourselves. In not understanding this difference, we may try to put our children in activities or situations we wish we would have had for our own childhoods.

Jack Canfield on Intention

But, it’s also about having the intention and willingness to put in the time. Jack had regrets and guilt in parenting, but he was able overcome those feelings because he knew he had to be the best example as a father. He knew he had to love each of his children individually. There’s a lesson here: you’ve got to love each child the way they want to receive it, not the way you want to give it. Accept your child for the person they are, not for whom you want them to be. Sometimes we try to turn our children into the children we wished we could have been or have the opportunities that will make us look like good parents. You have children; you are not your children. You have to let them be themselves.

Correcting Behavior and Praise

When children make mistakes, instead of constantly correcting them for what they have done wrong, point out what they have done right. Leave it there. Then, when they attempt the same task again, praise what they did the time before and then give a suggestion regarding the part of the task they need to correct. If you have young children, be careful with how you approach moments where they fail and succeed. Between the ages of 3-8, Jack says, research indicates that their self esteem is at its most vulnerable. Granted, during their entire childhood children are building their self worth, but it is these years that seem the most critical.

Jack Canfield and The 30 Day Sobriety Solution

But being the best parent for our children stems, as we’ve seen so many times on the GDP, from how we respond to challenges in our daily lives. Jack approaches this in his new book, 30 Day Sobriety Solution. You may not be an alcoholic, but Jack says in his book that even when we are casual, social drinkers, we still may be using that glass of wine or a beer to “wind down” or “take the edge off.” You may even find that when you have that drink, you aren’t really present for those you love: you’d rather fall asleep instead of reading your child that bed time story after the simple glass of wine (or two). Maybe you question how you’ll enjoy a night out without that one drink, or how you’ll get through that social work setting without the beer. But as Jack points out and his book addresses, there may be some underlying factors we may be covering with that drink.

It’s about being your BEST SELF

It’s really about being your best self in all aspects of your life-putting down a drink may just be one of them. Jack’s advice? Be as committed to being a great dad as you are to your job, your hobby or other things you find important. If you want something different, you have to do something different. The choices you make and actions you take today determine your outcomes for tomorrow.

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

The Dads Edge Book

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Jack Canfield Links:

Jack Canfield Website

The 30 Day Sobriety Solution

Jack Canfield Facebook Fan Page

Jack Canfield Twitter

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Thank you for checking out this episode with Jack Canfield.  This episode is one to remember!