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Inheritance is Temporary, Legacy is Forever with John Ramstead

John Ramstead

John Ramstead is a husband, father, entrepreneur, and author of On Purpose, With Purpose. Ramstead knew from a young age that he wanted to be a pilot. However, when he got to college and was enrolled in the ROTC program, he never believed that he had what it took to be a pilot. After an inspiring talk with his father, John decided that he was going to take aviation classes and become a pilot. Throughout his studies, John had a mentor that held him accountable and challenged him to be the best that he could be. Ramstead finished first in his graduating class and got to pick the plane of his choice.

After John retired from the Navy, he became an entrepreneur and founded the company Beyond Influence. In 2011, John encountered an accident that would alter the course of his life forever. During a work retreat, John was riding on a horse that bucked him off and sent him straight into a steel pipe, shattering his skull. The doctors told his wife and kids to fill out a living will because he was not going to make it. During his time in the hospital, the Lord spoke to John and told him that he would heal him. From that moment on, John decided to save the relationship with his wife and children and become the husband and father he was meant to be.

Marriage is all about skill. You can’t just walk in and expect to wing it on the first try; it takes patience, practice, and most importantly – SKILL. Having a healthy relationship with your kids works the same way too. It’s not about getting them to be on their best behavior, it’s about bringing out the best in them, no matter if it’s different than how you imagined. When John was near the end of his life, he discovered that it’s not about what you leave for your family, it’s about what you leave in them. That is the difference between inheritance and legacy – legacy is forever, inheritance is temporary.

What You’ll Learn: 

Problems in Marriage

[8:29]

John talks about how his marriage wasn’t good and how his actions created tension that would later lead to some difficult conversations.

John’s Career as a Naval Pilot

[17:34]

During college, John studied to be an engineer and spent a month on a submarine. Always had a dream to be a pilot since he was a little kid. He had to change his perception of his self image. 

The Importance of Mentorship

[21:35]

Find people that do what you want to do and learn from them. Make them hold you accountable so that you can be successful.

[24:40]

We’re all in a competition called life. However, if we try to help each other rather than trample each other, we will build much better relationships.

John’s Accident Circa 2011

[26:53]

Started a company in 2011. Went on a retreat in Montana and got into an accident while riding a horse.

[38:10]

The Lord spoke to John and said, “All things work together for good for those that love the Lord” and told him that he was going to heal John.

Inheritance and Legacy

[42:10]

As his family was preparing for his funeral, John started thinking about inheritance, which quickly turned into legacy. John recalls thinking about the kind of legacy he would be leaving if he died. He questioned what he had left in his wife and his children, rather than what he left for them.

Second Chances

[43:20]

John realized he had been given a second chance. What does success look like in fatherhood? He had to become a better version of himself.

Purposeful Love Specific to Each Child

[49:55]

As fathers, we need to slow down individually and understand how we’re wired. Using self-awareness helped John to see each one of his kids more clearly.

[57:07]

On becoming a coach, John recalls how important it is to ask questions and listen. Also, taking what a person has said to them, rephrasing it, and feeding it back to them in a way they can understand. Do it from a place of curiosity, not judgment.

[58:48]

John shares examples of how he overcame anger in order to listen to his son’s needs.

RELATED EPISODES:

A Dad Legacy – 4 Lessons of Life

Creating A Legacy That Inspires with Armando Cruz

Strong Men, Strong Marriages with Dr. Mike Frazier


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parenting style

How Your Childhood Can Affect Your Parenting Style And Learning “The Order Of Man” With Ryan Michler – GDP017

How Your Childhood Can Affect Your Parenting Style And Learning “The Order Of Man” With Ryan Michler – GDP017

Is it possible to be a good dad even if you grew up in a fatherless environment as a kid?

Definitely.

Is it possible to learn a positive parenting style for your own kids even if your own father was abusive or struggled with an addiction?

Absolutely.

Episode Overview:

In this episode, Larry and Shawn interview Ryan Michler, father of 3 and founder of “THE ORDER OF MAN.”  Ryan’s background is very unique.  He grew up virtually in a fatherless environment for most of his childhood.  During the time his father was present, he struggled with a drug and alcohol addiction.  Ryan shares with us how he struggled with he first became a father 7 years ago.  Ryan openly admits, “I felt like in the beginning I was kind of a jerk…but I knew I wanted to give my kids better than what I had growing up.”  Ryan never had a drug or alcohol problem, but struggled with not knowing exactly how to be a dad with his own unique parenting style.  Like so many of us who didn’t have a positive father figure growing up, we can struggle with knowing exactly what to do.  However, there are dads who take action and decide to make a conscious decision to be better.  Ryan shares some of his insights and what he has learned since he has launched the ORDER OF MAN website, community, and podcast.

TURN YOUR WEAKNESSES INTO A POSITIVE PARENTING STYLE

Ryan knew that he wanted to be a father who would provide emotional support, physical affection, and to be a strong foundational leader for his wife and three kids.  When his first son was born seven years ago, he knew it was time for a positive change in his life.  He decided to take action and implement strategies to ensure he would live a life of being the dad he wanted to be.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE AND HEALTHY ROLE MODELS

Ryan shares whom we spend time with will make a huge difference in the dads we become.  “If we surround ourselves with people who are positive role models in our lives, we will strive to give that same value to others around us.  “Surrounding ourselves with other dads who have a similar mission to be the best version of themselves is critical to our own successful parenting style.  We become who we surround ourselves with.”

BE PRESENT IN THE MOMENT

Another great strategy that Ryan shares is making sure we are 100% with our kids while in their presence.  In our busy modern worlds, it is so easy to get caught up in the daily grind of life.  We can easily become so distracted by our devices, electronics, and work that we forget that our children truly just want our presence and attention.

WHY RYAN DEVELOPED “THE ORDER OF MAN”

Ryan has a great passion by not only improving himself, but he also has a desire to help others.  Not long ago, Ryan decided to start a website, a blog, and a podcast in the hopes of helping other men improve their lives and mission as well.  The Order of Man is founded upon 11 pillars that are the foundation of his mission. Those pillars are:  Career, Charity, Community, Faith, Family, Finances, Intellect, Leadership, Manly-Skills, Relationships, and Self-Mastery.  Coming soon, he will be launching an online course with the intent to help dads become their very best.

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Blogs/Articles mentioned in this show:

http://www.orderofman.com/why-order-of-man/

Where to find Ryan:

  • www.facebook.com/orderofman
  • www.twitter.com/orderofman
  • www.instagram.com/orderofman
  • www.youtube.com/orderofman 

Thank You!

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