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Stop Being the “Nice Guy” with Dr. Robert Glover

Many of us take pride in being the “nice guy.” But could being the nice guy be ruining our lives?

We are all probably guilty of Nice Guy Syndrome on some level. We sometimes give only to receive in a passive attempt to get what we want without directly asking for it. We avoid conflict to get the acceptance, validation, approval, and even the sex that we need. Some of us might not even realize we suffer from Nice Guy Syndrome and wonder why we are anxious and unhappy.

Dr. Robert Glover is back on The Dad Edge for a discussion we all need to hear. He talks about how to stop being dependent on external things for our happiness. He shows us how to reclaim our identities after losing ourselves in relationships. He also explains why we need to get comfortable with our existential fears to become empowered men.

Stop being a nice guy and start living true to yourself!

If you have to give up anything that’s important to you to be in a relationship, it’s going to create a toxic environment.

Dr. Robert Glover

Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan For Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life. Dr. Glover is an internationally recognized authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome. He is a frequent guest on radio talk shows and has been featured in numerous local and national publications. As a result of his work, Dr. Glover has helped thousands of Nice Guys transform from being passive, resentful victims to empowered, integrated males. Along with these personal changes have come similar transformations in these men’s professional careers and intimate relationships. Dr. Glover is the creator of Dating Essentials for Men, the director of TPI University, and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of Washington. Dr. Glover divides his year between Bellevue, WA and Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

What You’ll Learn

  • Nice Guy Syndrome, at its core, is codependency.
  • Borrowed functioning means your wellbeing depends on the happiness of those around you.
  • It’s an anxiety and shame-based disorder. You manage people and situations to avoid anxiety or feelings of worthlessness.
  • Losing ourselves in relationships is not healthy, even though we’ve been taught that it’s noble to throw ourselves on the sword for our wives and kids.
  • The difference between fusion and differentiation
  • What most of us call “intimacy” is losing ourselves in another person so much that there is no distinct otherness anymore.
  • Fusion kills sexual passion.
  • The “Alpha Male” in human society who takes all is a myth. Things (including women) were shared.
  • Marriage emerged much more recently with the patriarchy.
  • Up until 100 years ago, marriage was an economical arrangement. Romantic love is a new idea.
  • Pair bonding in modern times doesn’t work well for happiness.
  • What you can count on in a relationship is that your childhood baggage is going to reveal itself.
  • Tension is healthy. Anytime there is tension, there is growth.
  • It used to take a whole tribe to meet our needs. Expecting one person to fulfill all our needs is impossible and unfair.
  • Differentiation is two complete adults who choose to be together.
  • If we are acting as an independent person, we are more attractive to the opposite sex.
  • Almost no one is sexually monogamous, even if they aren’t physically cheating on their spouse.
  • Men give up control in their marriage and then get resentful. Then we sneak around to get our needs met.
  • Friends are often the first thing men sacrifice.
  • Angst from being disconnection from our tribe
  • It’s human nature to try to find connection because we’re afraid of disappearing into nothingness. Practice getting comfortable with existential fears to be more self-reliant.
  • Men load up their to-do lists, don’t get everything done, go to bed stressed, and wake up the next day with even more to do. If we stay busy, we don’t have to feel anything.
  • Learn to be with stillness.
  • Schedule unscheduled time. Build chunks of time into your day for unscheduled things and things that matter.
  • Appreciate life right now. Today is the best day of your life.

 

RELATED EPISODES:

Love Languages and Other Marriage Tips for the Pandemic with Gary Chapman

No More Mr. Nice Guy with Dr. Robert Glover

Why Nice Guys Don’t Get Their Needs Met

 


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intimacy tips for married men

Sexploration and Intimacy Tips for Married Men with Dr. Corey Allan


Do you want more sex in your marriage? Many of us do, but have you ever asked yourself if the sex in your marriage is even worth having more of? Today, our guest gives us the intimacy tips for married men to have both MORE sex and BETTER sex with our spouses.

Dr. Corey Allan is the host of Sexy Marriage Radio and is back on The Dad Edge to teach us everything we’re doing wrong when it comes to approaching our wives about sex. He tells us to stop trying to fix our women and how to fix ourselves. Corey reveals women’s most common complaints on how their men derail their arousal, and what we can do to make sure our desire is clear without being needy or demanding. He also talks about how to get your woman on board with sexploration and games to fire up the bedroom.

Get ready to become the sexpert in your marriage!

Dr. Corey Allan

Dr. Corey Allan is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Professional Life and Relationship Coach. He’s also an author, blogger, speaker, husband, and father. His podcast, Sexy Marriage Radio, features straight-forward, honest conversations about what goes on behind closed doors in your marriage.

Naked Marriage

Many couples have a false notion of what married life truly is – and these rose-colored assumptions tend to heighten expectations to such unrealistic levels that couples find themselves frustrated and feeling alone.

What if marriage were designed for a specific purpose?
What if some of the problems faced in marriage are not meant to be solved, they’re meant to be lived through?

Because many people don’t understand what marriage is and could be, they hide from each other. To keep the peace, they continue the charades, each spouse reluctantly believing, “I guess this is just how it’s supposed to be.” Consequently, they refuse to get naked with each other in all of that word’s scary yet glorious permutations: emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Naked Marriage encourages you to find yourself and fully reveal yourself, so you and your marriage can become fully alive.

What You’ll Learn

  • The dynamic of higher vs. lower desire partners
  • In 60-70% of marriages, the man is higher desire partner
  • Men have more testosterone (the horny hormone) and are visually aroused
  • Men associate their sex life with their identity and tie self-worth to their appendage and performance
  • Is the sex you’re having together right now even worth wanting more of?
  • Men think the woman is broken if they do not need as much sex, but being the lower desire person is not wrong.
  • What women really need to be enthusiastic about having sex
  • A women’s body takes more time to catch up biologically and her desire can easily get derailed.
  • However, the woman must play her part in getting into the mood. It’s not just the man who is responsible for arousing her.
  • To get a wife going, work on yourself. Do you display consistency, character, and integrity?
  • Trust equals lust! Men must live trustworthy in all ways, big and small.
  • You can’t overly try to not disappoint the woman. Don’t try to be the nice guy. Be honest and real.
  • To truly have something of meaning and value there has to be some conflict.
  • The feminine is a security seeking creature. A woman needs the man be the captain.
  • Foreplay begins right after orgasm.
  • Should you accept mercy sex from your wife?
  • It’s not what you do. It’s how you operate and who you are.
  • Whenever your wife presents you with an option, make a decision. Do not defer to her. She is looking to you to make the call.
  • How to make sure your wife knows you’re into her without scaring her away
  • Husband’s do a bad job of setting the tone of the family. Don’t be a dictator. Be a decision maker.
  • Are you conscious and engaged with your family? Don’t try to split your attention when you are with them.
  • Stop with manipulative coverts and hints. A woman knows when a man wants to have sex with her.
  • Is it about satisfying your needs or being with her? Are you looking to get off or have an experience? She will be able to tell if you don’t want to connect more than just physically.
  • Sexploration techniques and bedroom games that add variety, spice, and opportunities to connect
  • Recovering from sexual experiences that didn’t turn out as expected is part of the intimate connection.
  • Laughter is a great aphrodisiac.
  • Corey Allan’s new Intimately Us app that makes conversations, date ideas, and sexploration easy.
  • How to present Intimately Us or any new sex ideas to your wife

RELATED EPISODES

Simple, Sexy Marriage with Dr. Corey Allan

No More Mr. Nice Guy with Dr. Robert Glover

Why Nice Guys Don’t Get Their Needs Met


how to have more patience

BECOME A PATIENT FATHER IN 37 MINUTES

Learn how to understand, predict, and neutralize your temper in this quick, actionable eCourse.

Includes print offs, templates, plus a 30-day membership in THE DAD EDGE MASTERMIND.

Get support, motivation, and advice from other men who’ve been there. With the accountability of the community, you will not fail!


Dr. Corey Allan’s Links

smrnation.com

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adam schafer

The Highly-Evolved Father with Adam Schafer from MIND PUMP


Today we talk to a previous guest whose story about his father’s suicide is one of our top shows ever in the history of The Dad Edge. Adam Schafer from the hugely popular Mind Pump Podcast is back. He wasn’t a father the first time he was on the show, but now he’s the proud new dad to his one-year-old son Maximus!

Adam talks about how having a baby has changed his lifestyle and relationship with his wife for the better. He opens up about his struggles with empathy, trauma, and childhood insecurities. He also talks about manufacturing adversity for our kids so that they will build resilience and character.

You’ve never heard this side of Adam Schafer before. This show is full of insights that will take your fathering skills to the next level. Listen now!

Adam Schafer

Adam had a lot of adversity to overcome as a child. He lost his father to suicide at the age of seven and bounced around to nine different homes by the time he was seventeen. Adam was bullied in school which ultimately led to him being home-schooled.

In the midst of his childhood turmoil one constant in Adam’s life was his love for sports. He was a natural athlete who loved snowboarding, water skiing, basketball and anything else sports related. Adam’s love for sports led him down the path of learning about fitness and nutrition.

Adam got started with his career in fitness in 2001. His first entrepreneurial venture was as a child of ten so it seemed natural for Adam to become an entrepreneur in fitness. As a part of his ongoing quest to learn and grow in his career Adam has obtained certifications from top fitness training institutions. Adam has found a way to train and teach even more people through Mind Pump.

Adam found that combining his passion and expertise with that of his Mind Pump cohosts, Sal, Justin, and Doug, gives him the opportunity to make a big impact on the fitness industry.

What You’ll Learn

  • How to approach parenthood with intention instead of reaction
  • Will having a baby make you lose your identity as a couple?
  • Will you still find your wife attractive when she is pregnant?
  • Can sex actually be hotter after the baby?
  • Having a child brought Adam and his wife Catrina closer together.
  • As a couple, they knew that raising a new human being was going to change the awesome lifestyle they had created for themselves—dining out, going to sports events, traveling.
  • Even though they don’t do their favorite things anymore, they don’t feel like they’re missing out.
  • Marriage should not go on the back burner when the kids come. Your spouse must come before kids.
  • Most of us react based on the neurosis and insecurities we developed as a child. We must deal with unresolved anger towards our parents.
  • Be aware of displaying negativity as a couple in front of the kids. Do not react in front of the child. Show alignment.
  • There is always work to be done in a relationship.
  • Developing self-awareness and emotional intelligence is the key to evolving as a man and father.
  • We must make the choice to use trauma to become better instead of an excuse to be worse.
  • Why we have to manufacture adversity for today’s kids who have everything
  • Adam’s hacks on how to make sure you show appreciation to your partner.
  • Why Adam doesn’t say “I love you” without a deeper reason behind it.

MENTIONED EPISODES

When a Father Commits Suicide

Creating a Rite of Passage Experience for Your Son


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mindpumpmedia.com

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modern manhood

Modern Manhood: What it Means to Be a Good Man Today with Cleo Stiller


Do you consider yourself to be one of the “good guys?” What is the truth about masculinity? What does it mean to be a good man in today’s rapidly changing society? The old ideas of the male being a lone pursuer, protector, and provider are evolving, leaving many men confused about their role in family and society.

Today we have Cleo Stiller on The Dad Edge. She is the author of Modern Manhood: Conversations About the Complicated World of Being a Good Man Today. Cleo has had conversations with men all over the cultural, economic, and geographical spectrum, along with experts in psychology and sociology, to get a deeper understanding of what men really want and need.

In this episode, Cleo Stiller provides context for men and women when it comes to friendship, sex, parenting, money, and work. She also tells us how dads can become better human beings and raise their sons to confidently navigate the modern world.

There’s no way you’re going to raise a son who is comfortable expressing himself if you aren’t comfortable expressing yourself.—Cleo Stiller

 

Cleo Stiller

Cleo Stiller is a Peabody Award and Emmy Award-nominated journalist, speaker and television host on a mission to inspire positive social action around the world — and now an author with Simon & Schuster.

Stiller’s latest project is a new book Modern Manhood: Conversations About the Complicated World of Being a Good Man Today based off of years of Stiller’s reporting with men as they reconcile what it means to be “a good man” in a #MeToo era.

Modern Manhood is a #1 New Release on Amazon and has received coverage in Fortune Magazine, Rolling Stone, ABC News, The Independent, PBS, LinkedIn’s Weekend Essay and many more.

Prior to this, Stiller spearheaded health-focused digital and social video content for Univision’s cable news network for Millennials, Fusion. This culminated in the creation of an original docuseries about relationships, technology and culture. It’s the network’s second highest performing original series and has received multiple award nominations, including a prestigious Peabody Award for public service.

Stiller is an Emmy nominated and Gracie winning journalist with a background in digital video reporting — and a passion for women’s health. She’s a frequent conference speaker, most recently at New York University’s Center for Global Affairs Women’s Global Health Conference and her work has been covered by The New York Times, Self.com, Variety,Bustle, Essence,LifeHacker and a Reddit AMA.

Stiller now consults with media companies, brands and organizations to create and execute video campaigns optimized for digital reach that educate, humor and inspire viewers.

Modern Manhood: Conversations About the Complicated World of Being a Good Man Today

Emmy and Peabody Award–nominated health reporter Cleo Stiller’s fun(ny) and informative collection of advice and perspectives about what it means to be a good guy in the era of #MeToo.

Here are a few self-evident truths: Predatory men need to go, sexual assault is wrong, and women and men should be equal. If you’re a man and disagree with any of the aforementioned, then this book isn’t for you.

But if you agree, you’re probably one of the “good guys.” That said, you might also be feeling frustrated, exasperated, and perhaps even skeptical about the current national conversation surrounding #MeToo (among many other things). You’ve likely found yourself in countless experiences or conversations lately where the situation feels gray, at best. You have a lot to say, but you’re afraid to say it and worried that one wrong move will land you in the hot seat. From money and sex to dating and work and everything in between—it can all be so confusing! And when do we start talking about solutions instead of putting each other down?

In Modern Manhood, reporter Cleo Stiller sheds light on all the gray areas out there, using conversations that real men and women are having with their friends, their dates, their family, and themselves. Free of judgment, preaching, and sugarcoating, Modern Manhood is engaging, provocative, and, ultimately, a great resource for gaining a deeper understanding of what it means to genuinely be a good man today.

What You’ll Learn

  • Why Cleo doesn’t use the phrase “toxic masculinity”
  • This is the most progressive generation and cultural norms are changing quickly.
  • Cleo’s book, Modern Manhood, seeks to provide context for men and women all over the country about gray areas when it comes to dating, parenting, money, and work.
  • Class, ethnic, and regional background affect our ideas of what being a good man means.
  • The loss of friendship and loneliness of modern men
  • The reason men don’t have meaningful friendships once they reach adulthood
  • “Woke,” the new term for politically aware
  • Should you call out a friend for being inappropriate?
  • Men don’t know how to talk about their problems, so they turn to humor (sometimes inappropriate) to bond.
  • Women are increasingly out earning their male partners.
  • Men are hardwired to provide, but most men don’t want to be THE provider, but a provider.
  • Men being the sole provider is new in human history. Historically, it was a dual income society, where men hunted and women gathered, both providing food.
  • Single income households developed after agriculture started.
  • Strip the idea from your mind that the only way you can provide as a man is through money. There are so many other ways.
  • Questioning stereotypical idea of masculinity as the lone wolf, stoic, protector, and pursuer
  • Most men get their idea of what being a good man means from their father for what he did or did not do.
  • If there is something about your idea of a being good man that is making you miserable, you can reframe it.
  • We often equate work with misery and feel like we’re doing something wrong if we’re happy.
  • Sex and dating in the age of the #metoo movement
  • We don’t see connected, intimate sexual interactions in media and in our culture, so we don’t practice them either.
  • Get comfortable with your feelings within. Everything that makes you uncomfortable will come out in your children. If you’re afraid of your feelings, they will be too.
  • How to teach your sons to process emotion.
  • It’s not so much about what a good guy does, but what a good person does. You are a human, you should be able to rely on and open up to the people that you love.

MENTIONED EPISODES

How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood

Stop Drifting and Consciously Design Your Future with Dominick Quartuccio

Become Irresistible to Your Woman with Allana Pratt

 


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Chloe Stiller’s Links

cleostiller.net

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become irresistible to your woman

Become Irresistible to Your Woman with Allana Pratt


Is it possible to become absolutely irresistible to your woman?

Whether things cooled off after the kids or your marriage is in serious trouble, today’s show is going to dive deep into what your woman requires to deeply connect with you on an emotional and sexual level.

Allana Pratt is a relationship coach and intimacy expert who has been featured all over the media, including CBS, Forbes, People Magazine, and FOX.

She is going to reveal some surprising insights about why your woman may have lost desire for you. She talks about what men should do if they are being emasculated. Allana also explains how to articulate what you truly want without seeming needy, how to make your woman feel safe and seen so she is receptive to you physically, and how to remove the fear of rejection in all your conversations, inside and outside the bedroom.

Women love sex. They like to have lots of it. What they require is safety. If you want more sex, how can you make her feel safer, more seen, more understood, more held, more able to surrender?—Allana Pratt

Intimacy Expert Allana Pratt

Allana Pratt inspires open hearted living, with delicious sass. Her inspiring vulnerability and courage has landed her a featured weekly column on the GoodMenProject, featured as an Icon of Influence, and as Guest Expert on The Jenny McCarthy Show, Huffington Post, People Magazine, Forbes, CBS, TLC and FOX. This cum laude graduate of Columbia University is the Author of 4 books, has interviewed Whoopi Goldberg, Alanis Morissette and Dr. Bernie Seigel and Hosts the edgy Podcast “Intimate Conversations” where listeners learn to thrive after heartbreak and find the relationship they deserve. A certified coach, Allana was asked by Leeza Gibbons to coach her during Dancing with the Stars. With over 4 million viewers on YouTube, Allana is the go-to authority when struggling to trust again after a harsh breakup so followers can create healthy, thriving intimate relationships with themselves first, which naturally attracts their ideal match.

After working with thousands of men and women who struggle to open their hearts again in the aftermath of a harsh breakup, Allana helps them learn how to date again and find lasting love. She inspires women to embrace their sacred erotic nature to attract all the love and attention they can handle. She heals men’s emasculated hearts, cures their ‘nice guy’, and awakens their ‘noble badass’ so they can create hot, healthy intimate relationships.

What You’ll Learn

  • Men tend to shame themselves for their sexual desires
  • Why men don’t feel free to communicate their needs.
  • Most men avoid asking for what they want sexually from their wives because they don’t know how to respond to rejections (e.g. “you want it all the time, you didn’t take out the trash, I’m tired”).
  • Men haven’t learned to sit in the fire and burn through conflict, but it’s through conflict that we learn.
  • Men usually run away, hide, or pretend nothing is wrong and never address the root problem. Intimacy issues perpetuate.
  • When you approach your woman, the degree to which you hesitate is the degree to which you will receive hesitancy. The degree to which you doubt yourself, is the degree to which your woman will doubt you.
  • Whatever you’re afraid she’ll say, she’ll say. You’re creating her response.
  • How to take your power back to become irresistible to your woman
  • Why you must integrate shame, guilt, and fear instead of trying to bury it or destroy it
  • Men must tell themselves that their worth is not based on their woman’s behavior, approval, or agreement. They are the masters of their realities.
  • If you’re totally present and able to be with any truth your woman has, she will respect you.
  • Own what is your responsibility.
  • Your unattachment to the result is the key to getting what you want.
  • How to connect with the past-rejected part of yourself and love it without condition so you can approach life as a whole person.
  • We clamber for pleasure and avoid pain, but too much pleasure is detrimental, and the avoidance of pain prevents us from becoming stronger.
  • Certainty is sexy—even being certain that you don’t know the answer.
  • When men aren’t authentic and vulnerable, the women steps into a masculine role.
  • When men share only to get attention, the woman senses the agenda and it backfires.
  • What men need most from women
  • Keep your heart open in the face of trauma and fear. Know your worth and truth no matter if anyone agrees or not.
  • Being emasculated by your woman is wrong
  • How man can deal with a woman who emasculates them
  • What a woman who is centered and conscious can awaken in a man
  • How a man can awaken the radiant goddess in their woman
  • The ideal time and environment to have deep conversations with your wife
  • How to proactively choose what to see out of perceived failures
  • How to appeal to your wife’s love language
  • How to penetrate your woman in three ways—physically, mentally, and spiritually.

RELATED EPISODES:

Becoming a Legendary Couple After the Kids

The Unexpected Secrets of Men, Women, and Sex with Nell Gibbon Daly

How to Light Your Woman Up with Brandy Salazar


Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week.
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Thanks for the support.

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Alana Pratt’s Links

gethertosayyes.com

allanapratt.com

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

YouTube

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

LINKS


Hungry for more out of life?

Become one of the 350 men of The Dad Edge Alliance

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What was your biggest take away?

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