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sexy marriage

Simple, Sexy Marriage with Dr. Corey Allan

Today we have Dr. Corey Allan on the show. He is a marriage and family therapist and the host of the Sexy Marriage Radio podcast, which has been going strong for seven years. Dr. Allan outlines most common problems couples bring to his office, including sex. In this conversation, we get granular about sex issues along with intimacy and pornography.

In his experience, Dr. Corey Allan estimates that that man has the higher desire for sex in 70% of marriages, but men tend to follow a script and don’t get creative with their wives. He tells us what we’re doing wrong when it comes to trying to get more sexual with our spouses and how to talk about it without putting them on the defense. He also talks about the 30% of marriages in which the woman has the higher desire for sex and how couples can manage that.

You may be surprised by his advice. Download this episode because you’ll want to listen to it again!

'A woman knows very well if the goal for the day is in her pants.'—Dr. Corey Allan @simplemarriage #marriage #sex #intimacy Click To Tweet

'We’re quick to blame our spouse for our troubles.'—Dr. Corey Allan @simplemarriage #marriage #sex #intimacy Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • How to improve the marriage you have
  • How to stop the blame cycle
  • Why you need to stop trying to fix your wife and instead fix yourself
  • How to invite good changes into your life
  • The main complaints from women
  • How the fear of rejection is magnified to a woman
  • How to be a student of your wife
  • Non-sexual touch
  • The 4 Most Common Marriage Problems:
    • Sex
    • Money
    • In-laws
    • Children
  • How to succeed by respecting your wife’s differences rather than trying win her over to your way of thinking
  • The danger of being attached to outcomes
  • The difference between functional sex and sex for intimacy
  • Two components of intimacy:
    • Knowing your partner
    • Being known yourself
  • How intimacy can be just as likely comfortable as uncomfortable
  • Why there’s nothing wrong with a wife who doesn’t want to have sex
  • How the higher desire spouse has to recognize the lower desire spouse
  • How women were wired to be responsive, not initiative
  • How men often try to manufacture a way to penetrate instead of encouraging a response
  • Why you have to live a life beyond your wife, a life that’s inspiring to her
  • If you’re with her, be present with her. Quality time is more effective than the quantity of time
  • Why you shouldn’t hover around your wife waiting for sex
  • How foreplay is a long play in marriage
  • Why a fully turned on woman can be terrifying for men
  • The debilitating effects of porn
  • How women want to be led their husbands
  • How the way you conduct yourself in life translates in the bedroom
'Everything we do in marriage communicates. Everything we do NOT do in marriage communicates.'—Dr. Corey Allan @simplemarriage Click To Tweet

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How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood

Black Belt Husband with Quentin Hafner


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sexymarriage.net

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guide to women

Ultimate Guide to Demystifying Women with Robert Kandell


Men are supposed to be strong and silent, right? We think if we work hard and provide we will be rewarded. This is what our culture has taught us, and this is what we think women want. But this idea is becoming obsolete in today’s society.

The world has changed drastically when it comes to the roles of men and women. The patriarchy humans lived in for thousands of years has shifted. Women have evolved but men have stayed the same. It’s time for us to catch up.

Today’s guest, Robert Kandell, is the host of the Tuff Love podcast and the author of the upcoming book unHIDDEN: A Book for Men & Those Confused by Them. He gives us the ultimate guide to demystifying women and tells us how to connect to ourselves so that our women can have what they want most, which is all of us.

'Women want the evolved man. The complicated man. The dynamic man ... They want to see all of you.'—@RobertKandell #men #marriage #women #relationships #vulnerability #masculinity Click To Tweet

Robert Kandell

Robert Kandell is a veteran of many worlds. He has spent time in corporate America, a start-up, a small computer shop, and then built an international 8-figure business based on relationship, intimacy and sexuality. He currently runs a successful consulting firm helping small businesses to become marketable and profitable. In addition to his business and management skills, Robert is an accomplished teacher, coach, and lecturer, helping men find themselves and utilize their internal power.

What You’ll Learn

  • Why men are so quiet about what’s going on in their minds
  • How most men know something is wrong with themselves and their relationships, but they can’t tell what it is
  • How hiding your fears and weaknesses from your woman hurts your relationship
  • How women want both Spartan strength and little-boy vulnerability at the right times
  • Why women want all aspects of their men
  • Why men need to connect to all aspects of themselves to give their woman everything she needs
  • What judgements block you from making those connections
  • How to get into the flow of self-discovery instead of fighting it
  • Confronting issues with your partner
  • Investigating different ways around communication
  • Practicing ways to implement new information
  • Integrating all you’ve learned into your life
  • Why withholding your struggles from your wife is an unconscious form of chauvinism
  • Difference between connecting with your wife and being a whiny baby
  • Why shaking things up is a huge turn on
  • The shame that runs our lives and blocks us from growing
  • Confronting sexual shame and guilt
  • How Robert Kandell opened up to his wife about his porn issue
  • The butterfly effect of free porn and how it leads to erectile dysfunction and prevents us from connecting with our wives
  • How porn activates the hunter and trains our brain to be addicted to novelty
  • The magical powers of communication
  • How to create communication containers
  • How to be a listener as well as a communicator
  • Robert Kandell’s most important advice as a dad raising two preteen step daughters

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Robert Kandell’s Links

Website

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keep dating your spouse

The Infinite Game of Marriage with Cara Miller


If we think of marriage as a game, we immediately strategize on how to win our spouses’ hearts the way we did the very first time. The problem is that our partners grow and change throughout life. To keep dating your spouse like you did in the past is not going to work anymore. As you will hear on our show today, the game of marriage is infinite. The goal is not to win, but to keep playing.

Today we have our fourth female guest on The Dad Edge. Her name is Cara Miller and she a developmental coach with a unique academic background, including wealth of insightful knowledge about how people connect and feel that sense of belonging that is so important for a rich, fulfilling life.

In this episode, Cara Miller tells how to initiate change in our relationships by dating our spouses for who they are today instead of who they were when we first met them.  She reveals simple, actionable steps we can take to become experts on the people we love, including kids, friends, and coworkers.

'Dating in marriage is an infinite game.'—Cara Miller #marriage #relationships #dating #wife #husband #love Click To Tweet

About Cara Miller MDIV PHD

Cara T. Miller ​is a professor, executive developmental coach, organizational design and change consultant in the fields of leadership, organizational development, adult development, and spiritual formation. Cara received a Master of Divinity from Princeton Theological Seminary and a PhD in Leadership Studies at the University of San Diego.

Cara draws on developmental psychology to coach people in many contexts (executives, partnerships, teams), adaptive leadership theory to consult to diverse organizations engaging in change efforts (military, higher education, finance, ministry), and is committed to first, second, and third person, here-and-now practices that support the sustainability of this integrative work.

'Our families are a school of love.'—Cara Miller #family #dads #men #fathers #parenting #communication Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • Why we pursue learning, yet resist change
  • How we can build neural pathways to change our habits and thinking
  • Why in focusing on ‘being’ first, the doing will follow
  • Why it won’t work if you try to keep dating your spouse the way you did the first time
  • Why the goal of the game of marriage is not to win, but to continue playing
  • How to learn who your spouse is now
  • How to get out of the loop of expectation
  • How to make yourself date-able again to your spouse
  • How to fill the tank of your relationships ahead of time to prepare for stressful situations
  • How to fulfill her needs based on what you want from her
  • How you can practice these communication techniques on your wife before moving on to your kids
  • How to be an interesting father to each of your kids
  • How to warm up for a heavy conversation with a pre-conversation
  • How your relationship is not something you have, it’s something you’re in
  • Why guessing what your partner wants is not going to work
  • How to create a way to be together as a couple that is different than it was and fits who you are right now
'We are not the experts on the people that we love.'—Cara Miller #love #marriage #connection #communication Click To Tweet

 

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Cara Miller’s Links

inquiryp.com

Instagram: @Developmentalcoach

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How to Make Your Wife Fall in Love with You Again and Again with Spencer Burnett

How to Make Your Wife Fall in Love with You Again and Again with Spencer Burnett

Why would we bring on a dating coach when most of our listeners are married? If we’re not mindful in our marriage, it will fizzle out. After so many years with the same person, we get comfortable, complacent, and lazy. Whenever we do try to do something new, our wives may reject us and we shut down.

Today we have dating coach and relationship expert Spencer Burnett on the show to talk about how to make your wife fall in love with you again and again. He shares his secrets on pursuing a woman confidently and from a place of service for better communication, intimacy, and attraction.

Married, divorced, and single dads will walk away from this show with a game plan for the relationship they want with the woman they truly desire.

'A good woman makes a good man great.'—@SpencerBurnett #men #dads #marriage #dating #relationships Click To Tweet

Spencer Burnett

It’s Spencer Burnett’s mission to help men embody the best version of themselves so that they can attract and keep the women they truly desire. His journey began when he was a successful guy with everything going for him. All he needed to complete his life was the girl he always dreamed of, a girl he had been close to for years. Spencer assumed she shared the same feelings for him, but when he finally professed his love to her, she told him she thought of him as a really, good girlfriend.

He was completely blindsided. Being friendzoned so harshly turned his world upside down. He wondered, what was he doing wrong? Spencer realized he was going along with what he’d been told by society to attract the woman he wanted, but it was a lie. The old alpha male persona wasn’t working. Spencer spent the next ten years trying to figure out how to stop impressing and start connecting with women. Now he is ten months into a new relationship with a woman he’s crazy about.

'True service is the highest form of empowerment.'—@SpencerBurnett #men #dads #fathers #husbands #wives #marriage #marriagetips Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • That men’s IQ lowers when they approach women
  • Why being programmed to breed as animals gives us conflicting thoughts
  • Why our hunting instincts turn off and we get lazy in relationships with the women we wanted so badly
  • Why we don’t see it coming when our wives are unhappy
  • Our role as conscious creators and kings
  • How to view ourselves as kings without taking on arrogance
  • How to see yourself as royalty and allow yourself to serve your queen
  • Changing to the mindset of service
  • The pointlessness of looking to the external world for validation
  • How to naturally emanate confidence (not arrogance)
  • How to create the evidence of your greatness to build unshakeable confidence
  • How taking away all worldly vices helps you to meet yourself
  • How today’s independent women don’t need the same alpha male type anymore
  • How men can cultivate more beta traits (vulnerability, listening, honesty) in an empowered way to give women what they need
  • Examples of communication starters and communication mistakes
  • The danger of avoiding ourselves
  • The mistake of diving into hobbies, habits, and work when things go wrong instead of connecting
  • How to start dating our wives again without seeming needy
  • Creative ideas for acts of service for your woman
  • How to have conversation with your wife on topics besides the kids
  • How to get more sex
  • Advice for divorced guys and single dads
  • How to put action behind your love instead of just words
'When you ask a woman for her help, she’s going to love you so much more.'—@SpencerBurnett #women #men #love #marriage #vulnerability Click To Tweet

 

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Spencer Burnett’s Links

omegamancoaching.com

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A Dad’s Recovery from Sex Addiction

A Dad’s Recovery from Sex Addiction

Seven years ago, Pastor Joe Burnham spent the night in a jail cell after getting arrested in a prostitution sting. He was released, cold and alone, in an unfamiliar part of town. Joe walked home demoralized, knowing his marriage and career were over. He was a sex addict who had been living a double life, deceiving his friends, family, and community. He spent years crafting a façade and no one knew who he really was … until now.

Today, Joe is in recovery from sex addiction and can tell his story without shame. He shares his experience battling his demons and has hopeful advice for men operating alone in a dark place.

'The arrest pulled the mask off the bottom I had been living my entire life.'—@joeburnham #addiction #recovery #sexaddiction #men #dads #fathers Click To Tweet

'The alliance has played this massive role by helping me increasingly shift from sober living to recovery living.'—@joeburnham #sobriety #soberliving #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #menshealth #mentalhealth Click To Tweet

MENTIONED EPISODE: How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood


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