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alter ego todd herman

How to Create and Activate Your Heroic Alter Ego with Todd Herman – Exclusive Dad Edge Alliance Q&A


Todd Herman is the author of the wildly popular bestselling book, The Alter Ego Effect, in which he explains the fastest way to transcend fear and self-limiting beliefs by creating alter egos.

In an exclusive Q&A session with Dad Edge Alliance members, Todd reveals how to develop alter egos for the different playing fields of life, and how to activate our secret identities to instantly show up the way we want in the toughest situations. He also talks about how to introduce this method to our kids.

Todd Herman’s tools and strategies will blow your mind and change your life. Get ready to step into your heroic self!

Todd Herman and The Alter Ego Effect

What if the games you played as a child were the greatest gift to helping you achieve more today?

Before stage fright, impostor syndrome, emotional baggage, and the other dubious gifts of adulthood, everyone pretended to be a superhero, a favorite athlete, an inspiring entertainer, a nurse, a firefighter, a lion or whatever captured their imagination. And yet, that natural creativity is slowly squeezed out of us because we think it’s childish or it’s ‘time to grow up.’ Now, Todd Herman—backed by scientific research and countless stories from the real world—will show you how to tap into the human imagination to unleash a new version of yourself, ready-made to kick-ass.

Herman has been coaching champions in every field for over twenty years, and he’s helped them bring out their Heroic Self to transcend the forces pulling them into the Ordinary World. While anyone attempting ambitious things faces adversity, resistance and challenges, Herman, asks a new question: “Who or what needs to show up to make success inevitable?”

In The Alter Ego Effect, Herman shows you how to activate the Heroic Self already nested inside of each of us, through countless stories from salespeople, executives, entertainers, athletes, entrepreneurs, creatives and historical figures. He reveals that you may not be using those traits in the moments when you need them the most. From the creative entrepreneur who resisted their craft, to the accomplished military officer who wanted to be a warmer dad at home, Todd Herman’s clients have discovered there is no end to the parts of their lives they could improve by using Alter-Egos.

What You’ll Learn

  • The surprising secret to those who perform consistently at top levels—maintaining a level of playfulness.
  • The identities that can limit you
  • How to turn off your work mode or ambition mode when you get home for your kids and spouse
  • Changing the identity is the fastest way to shift performance.
  • Todd Herman’s Dad Alter Ego is based on a combination of Mr. Rogers and his own dad
  • How to use alter egos as a form of honor, not being fake
  • The most powerful way to trigger an identity change are things that we wear
  • Choosing totems, artifacts, and uniforms
  • The mistakes we make as parents when it comes to talking to our kids about their performance
  • The two most important things we can do for our children to encourage the right mindset
  • Why you must allow kids to choose their own alter egos
  • How to choose your behavior according to a future version of yourself
  • Why you should not protect your kids from feeling uncomfortable things. They must learn how to experience and process negative emotions.
  • Making sure that when we’re framing something for our kids, we’re not introducing a problem for them that wasn’t even in their world
  • 80% of our 1-on-1 time with kids ends at the age of twelve, so we must take advantage of spending time with them in their younger years.
  • Number one reason why kids don’t quit activity because they don’t want to lose the one on one car time with their parent
  • The difference between habits and rituals and why rituals are important for success


MENTIONED EPISODES:

The Alter Ego Effect with Todd Herman

3 Questions to Ask Your Kid Every Night


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Todd Herman

toddherman.me

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do the work self sabotage Gary John Bishop

Do the Work: How to Stop the Cycle of Self-Sabotage with Gary John Bishop

Most of us are sabotaging ourselves without even knowing it. How can we become aware of the negative self-talk that’s holding us back in life? And more importantly, how can we teach our kids to debunk their own self-limiting beliefs?

In this episode, we have one of our most popular guests back just in time for 2020—the one and only Gary John Bishop.

He’s the NY Times Bestselling author of Unf*ck Yourself and Stop Doing That Sh*t. He was a speaker at The Dad Edge Summit 2018, and this is his 4th interview with us on The Dad Edge Podcast.

Gary has just released a workbook to accompany Unf*ck Yourself called Do the Work, and he is going to make us do that work today!

Gary talks about the three categories we need to address in life to break free from self-limiting beliefs. He tells us how to get real with our own bullsh*t and about how we interact with others. He also talks about why the idea of “finding” your purpose is flawed and what you really need to show up big in your life.

If you’re familiar with Gary John Bishop, you already know what’s coming. Brace yourself for some hard truths!

GARY JOHN BISHOP

Gary John Bishop began his life journey in Glasgow, Scotland. The grit and wit of his early life have contributed to his irreverent, tough-love, in-your-face approach to personal growth and development. Coupled with his world-class training, Gary has created the kind of message that cuts through the crust of people’s lives to root out the deeper issues that consume and anchor them to their self limiting behaviors and beliefs.

Gary’s many years of experience as a Senior Program Director for one of the world’s leading personal development organizations is proof of his professionalism, dedication and commitment to what is possible for all human beings. He authentically doesn’t claim perfection. Like most people his life has been both challenging and at times seemingly overwhelming. He has experienced the same kind of defeat, despair, loss, burden, shame and guilt that we all do at various points in our lives and has used his background, both personal and professional, to unleash a unique and vital message that blasts a hole through the BS of the self help industry. He is unnervingly real, on point and his words make a difference.

As one of the leading Personal Development experts in the world with a reputation that has impacted hundreds of thousands of people, his “urban philosophy” approach represents a new wave of personal empowerment and life mastery that has caused miraculous results for people in the quality and performance of their lives.

DO THE WORK: THE OFFICIAL UNREPENTANT, ASS-KICKING, NO-KIDDING, CHANGE-YOUR-LIFE SIDEKICK TO UNFU*K YOURSELF 

Based on the New York Times bestseller Unfu*k Yourself comes an all new book of prompts, questions, and exercises, giving you the tools to intentionally commit to finally unfu*king your life.

In Unfu*k Yourself, Gary John Bishop inspired people to put his words into action to transform their fu*king lives. Through seven paradigm shifting assertions such as: “I am wired to win,” “I embrace the uncertainty” and “I expect nothing and accept everything,” Bishop helped millions of readers to move past their self-imposed limitations.

Still, Bishop knows it’s hard to go from reading the book, feeling inspired, and then actually doing the necessary work. That’s where Do the Work comes in: it’s the kick in the ass you need to get moving and create the life you want. The workbook drills down into three categories — self, people, and purpose — to help you identify and remedy the challenges that frustrate and often cripple us.

Filled with entirely new material, including personalized prompts and exercises with ample lined space to journal and process, Do the Work expands the lessons in Unfu*k Yourself, giving you the tools to intentionally commit to taking on your life.

“This is a personal workshop for your brain, a legit resource where you can work your life out, what matters to you, what’s going to make the biggest difference and empower you to act in ways that make some palpable change to the direction your life is currently taking.”

The truth will set you free, right? So what are you waiting for?

“All the bad traits your kids have, they picked up from you.”—Gary John Bishop

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN

  • How men/fathers suffer with self-sabotage and internalize it.
  • What to do when your kids come to you with self-sabotaging beliefs (dads need to do more than just tell them to believe in themselves).
  • Look at your thoughts about a situation. It never means what you’re making it mean. Can it mean something else?
  • If we don’t pay attention, we interpret life in the same way, using the same destructive filter.
  • Why dads must give up the illusion that they have the say in how things turn out for their kids.
  • More often than not, all kids want is to be in communication. They don’t want your solutions.
  • Ask your kids questions instead of telling them how they should react or what they should do.
  • As a dad, give yourself a break when you don’t have all the answers.
  • Be authentic with your kids. Don’t pretend you know everything.
  • Don’t hide arguments with your spouse. Show your kids how you resolve conflict.
  • Questions to help your kid snap out of a negative or victim mindset
  • As a father, strive to show consistent character rather than creating defining moments of wisdom.
  • How willing are you to consider that your life is not a result of your circumstance, but of the self-talk that is brining you down?
  • The way you talk about life is giving you the emotional state you experience.
  • How being authentic is something you must be constantly doing in the present moment
  • You’re the most inauthentic with yourself first. Then it branches into your relationships.
  • The way you filter life starts with you replaying dynamics from your childhood with your parents.
  • The final bullshit is that “you’re not good enough,” a line you sold yourself so you can avoid taking your life head-on.
  • Question to ask yourself: What it’s like to live with you? Observe yourself doing life.
  • Your personal integrity. Do you follow through with your promises?
  • Even your darkest secrets are insignificant in the universe.
  • You must walk through your darkness to transcend it.
  • Purpose does not have to be mystical. You don’t find your purpose. You create your purpose.
  • If you don’t insert purpose into your life, what you’ll have is a life of distractions—answering emails, paying your electric bill, going to the movies, buying shoes, etc. Content with the absence of purpose is a shallow existence.
  • To have purpose in your life, you don’t have to change your life. You only have to change who you are in it!
  • When you change, life shows up in new ways.
  • If you don’t do the work 100%, your life will be a reflection of what you declare.
  • If you DO THE WORK and take an unflinching look at yourself, over time, your life will start working
  • How do you know when your life starts to work? You’ll notice nothing is wrong. Everything is okay.
  • Trust yourself. You can figure this out.
  • Gary John Bishop’s upcoming book about making yourself wiser about love, loss, success, and fear.

MENTIONED EPISODES

How to Unf*ck Yourself with Gary John Bishop

Coming to Terms with Your Own Bullsh*t with Gary John Bishop

Stop Doing That Sh*t with Gary John Bishop


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GARY JOHN BISHOP’S LINKS

garyjohnbishop.com

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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

LINKS


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alter ego effect todd herman

The Alter Ego Effect with Todd Herman

There is only one person keeping you from reaching your full potential, and that is you. Today we’re going to reveal an extraordinary way to bypass fear, doubt, and limiting beliefs by creating heroic alter egos.

Todd Herman is a high-performance coach and the author of The Alter Ego Effect: The Power of Secret Identities to Transform Your Life. He is going to teach us why alter egos work, how to create them for different aspects of our lives, and how to activate them to help us become effective businessmen, intentional husbands, and patient and present fathers.

Todd Herman’s tools, insights, and philosophy will blow your mind. Prepare to discover the power of your secret identity!

'When you change someone at the identity level, all the habits, behavior, and beliefs change along with it.'— @Todd_Herman #performance #limitingbeliefs #alterego Click To Tweet

Todd Herman

Todd Herman is an author, performance advisor, and entrepreneur. For 22 years, his training company, Herman Performance Systems, has focused on helping achievers and ambitious people in sport & business, achieve wildly outrageous goals while enjoying the process. Originally from Alberta, Canada where he grew up on a large farm and ranch, where he developed a healthy dislike of chicken coops.

His company has a suite of programs serving Olympic athletes, Entrepreneurs, and Leaders. He’s been featured on the Today Show, Sky Business News, Inc Magazine and CBC National News.

He lives in New York City with his wife and three young children and is currently the worlds worst ukulele player.

'Mental toughness is ability to be adaptable and flexible despite what your circumstances are giving you right now.'— @Todd_Herman #mentaltoughness #resilience #motivation Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • How Todd got started with the alter ego idea
  • Todd’s beginnings as a high-performance coach
  • His time as a nationally ranked badminton player
  • Why kids should learn to play both a team sport and an individual sport
  • What he learned from coaching Olympians
  • The gold thread that connected all the highest performers
  • How he developed a process and system to create an alter ego that helps people win. Todd has built alter egos for professional athletes in all sports around the world.
  • The constant self-bullying we do to ourselves
  • Why humans are conditioned to notice the negative
  • How this primitive negativity has shifted to social dynamics in the modern world
  • The superpower of your inner personal narrative
  • Your negative self-talk is not you and is a sign to break through
  • How he changed his identity to become a more romantic, affectionate, and vulnerable husband
  • How humans can shapeshift
  • Why there is no you
  • How humans create our world and ourselves through language
  • Is there another version of you inside? How do you find it?
  • Why everyone should be taking lessons from nature. If you’re not growing, you’re dying.
  • The folly of pursuing balance and why we must pursue integration instead
  • Why as soon as Todd’s kids turn two, he has them become part of his business and speak on stage
  • What could be possible for you if you stopped acting in the “youness” that is you
  • Role-playing different versions of yourself
  • Leveraging moments of impact
  • What he learned from Stan Lee about the power of enthusiasm
  • How to infuse your home with a different energy and change the trajectory of time you spend with your family
  • Creating windows of possibility
  • The destructiveness of the old “tough day at work” mentality
  • How 80% of the one-on-one time with your child is gone by the time they are twelve
  • 3 questions to ask your kid at night to finish the day strong
  • The chasm of despair that opens when you look at how far you need to go instead of on how far you’ve come
  • Affirming your kids’ effort to cultivate a growth mindset
  • How to activate the alter ego you want to use with a totem
  • Breaking the chain of what people expect from you
  • How to create a dad-self that is masculine yet soft and caring


MENTIONED EPISODE:

3 Questions to Ask Your Kid Every Night


Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

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Todd Herman’s Links

toddherman.me

Facebook

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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


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Stop Doing That Sh*t Gary John Bishop

Stop Doing That Sh*t with Gary John Bishop

What do you constantly tell yourself you can’t do?

Do you look for all the reasons why you’re not capable of change?

How often do you let yourself off the hook by saying, “Well, that’s just the way I am?”

Today we have Gary John Bishop on the show to talk about his new book, Stop Doing That Sh*t: End Self-Sabotage and Demand Your Life Back. He’s going to tell us why we develop negative conclusions about ourselves and how we seek to validate these false beliefs even though they prevent us from living a full life. Gary reveals how we get caught up in destructive cycles and why positive thinking alone does not work. He also talks about how to deconstruct self-limiting beliefs and live in alignment with a vision that allows us to live passionately as we step into our future selves.

If you’ve listened to our previous shows with Gary John Bishop, you know that this interview will be full of no BS, in-your-face insights that will make you face some hard truths. Brace yourself!

'If you’re a father and you haven't lost your shit with your kids at some point, you’re probably self-medicating too much.' @garyjohnbishop #fatherhood Click To Tweet

Gary John Bishop

Gary John Bishop began his life journey in Glasgow, Scotland. The grit and wit of his early life have contributed to his irreverent, tough-love, in-your-face approach to personal growth and development. Coupled with his world-class training, Gary has created the kind of message that cuts through the crust of people’s lives to root out the deeper issues that consume and anchor them to their self limiting behaviors and beliefs.

Gary’s many years of experience as a Senior Program Director for one of the world’s leading personal development organizations is proof of his professionalism, dedication and commitment to what is possible for all human beings. He authentically doesn’t claim perfection. Like most people his life has been both challenging and at times seemingly overwhelming. He has experienced the same kind of defeat, despair, loss, burden, shame and guilt that we all do at various points in our lives and has used his background, both personal and professional, to unleash a unique and vital message that blasts a hole through the BS of the self help industry. He is unnervingly real, on point and his words make a difference.

As one of the leading Personal Development experts in the world with a reputation that has impacted hundreds of thousands of people, his “urban philosophy” approach represents a new wave of personal empowerment and life mastery that has caused miraculous results for people in the quality and performance of their lives.

We’re waiting for life to inspire us, but you need to populate your life with what inspires you.

Stop Doing That Sh*t: End Self-Sabotage and Demand Your Life Back

Why do you act the way you do? Do you ever feel like you get stuck in destructive cycles that hold you back from living the life you really want? In a dynamic, compelling and aha-filled journey, Stop Doing That Sh*t helps you connect the dots of your “stuff” all the way from your past to the present. You’ll make sense of yourself as you uncover how to interrupt those destructive cycles of yours and make the kind of profound shift needed to get your life on track.

If you can’t save money, if you keep ending up in the same types of toxic relationships, if you feel unloved, don’t fit in, not enough or any one of the myriad of ways that a human being trashes an otherwise good life, this is the book for you.

Written in the same irreverent, in-your-face style that resonated with the hundreds of thousand of fans who read Unfu*k Yourself,Stop Doing that Sh*t skillfully reveals our deepest subconscious machinery, with a real-world approach to powerfully translate our most negative thoughts and behaviors into a vitalizing, sabotage-free future. “Stop indulging yourself with fantasies and dramas and unresolved issues.  Wake the hell up!” Bishop writes.

Look, you might have fu*ked up in the past, so what? Stop Doing That Sh*t reveals how you can break free of those deep-seated patterns to live the life you always knew you wanted but could never quite seem to have. As Bishop says, “The future has arrived. Now what the hell are you going to do about it?”

When you know what your values are, making decisions is easy.

What You’ll Learn

  • The difference between a conclusion and a belief
  • Why you can change beliefs, but not conclusions
  • Why we try to validate negative conclusions and seek proof that they are true. E.g. if you try to find evidence that you’re not loved, you’ll find it.
  • How labeling yourself limits you
  • Why you need to tell yourself you’re full of sh*t
  • How human beings are hardwired to get better, and how to leverage that to grow
  • Why the future leaves us with a yawning gap in life—once we get there, we want to get to the next “there”
  • How to have a future in mind that impacts you today
  • Why aspiring to become something is better than setting a goal
  • How to be inspired by what’s to come, allowing the future to fill the present
  • How to create your own game and stop letting life happen to you
  • How to deal with the major pitfalls life throws at you while staying true to your commitments
  • How fathers can create a parenting vision
  • How men mostly live their lives as some reflection of how they feel, influenced by circumstances, moods, and feelings
  • How to operate on something other than your temporary emotional state
  • How to use your vision to check in and make sure your behavior is in alignment with your future
  • Why positive thinking doesn’t work
  • How to pivot your thoughts and redirect your brain when you slip into a negative cycle
  • Gary John Bishop’s amazing upcoming projects!

Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week.
The next one might be yours!

Thanks for the support.

CLICK HERE.

 


Gary John Bishop’s Links

garyjohnbishop.com

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Amazon

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become one of the 350 men of The Dad Edge Alliance

APPLY HERE!

 


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

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Embrace the Past to Win Your Future Mark Crandall

Embrace the Past to Win Your Future with Mark Crandall


What is the story you‘ve been telling yourself over and over again that keeps you from stepping into the best self you can possibly be?

Mark Crandall is a Transformational Life Coach, host of the Purpose Chasers Podcast, and the author of Embrace Your Past Win Your Future: The Difference Between Being A Victim and Playing One. He was not a dad at the recording of this episode, but he will likely be one when it airs.

Mark has tremendous insight as a son who was abandoned by his biological parents and a man who is about to step into his role as a father.

Mark tells us how to:

  • detect and debunk self-limiting beliefs
  • change the toxic story you have about yourself
  • keep pushing through fear
  • resist the temptation to fall back into a destructive mindset
  • stop playing small and step into the role of the hero of your story

Get ready to win your future!

The men that you have around you, you will become.

Mark Crandall

“Mark’s is a story of uncommon adversity and triumph. At age three, Mark was taken from his biological mother by the Department of Youth and Families and placed in the foster care system. He lacked the tools and supports to manage both his grief and his new reality in society’s margins. From the pieces he conjured stories about his own worth. At around age 12 Mark began contemplating whether or not to just give up.

He began to engage in criminal activity, acting out his aggression at the expense of those closest to him and society at large. Mark began to self-medicate with substances; thus began his spiral into painful, chaotic addiction. Mark found himself in and out of youth detention centers and other correctional facilities. Though, even in his lowest moments, Mark recognized what others saw: There was greatness in even him.

In 2007, Mark found a spiritual program of action in which he began overcoming the many traumatic moments of his childhood. He also began the process of repairing the damage that he had caused others through his efforts to navigate life. Mark found freedom in an introspective process which informs his Transformational Life and Business Coaching and drug and alcohol Interventions. Mark is trained in some of the most powerful transformation practices available, all of which he uses in his work with others.”

What You’ll Learn

  • Mark’s estimate that 95% of society operates from a victim mentality
  • how society is coddling victims
  • how Mark was able to abuse drugs during his entire stay in prison
  • how Mark quit drugs and has stayed clean for 12 years
  • his longing for his biological parents to this day
  • the huge impact Mark’s adoptive father made in his life
  • how to keep growing and moving forward when your demons rear their ugly heads
  • why community is the key to staying on track
  • how to notice when we’re resorting to outside sources to feel adequate
  • why in reality, no one lacks motivation. They only lack belief in themselves to carry it out
  • the real reason we don’t invest in ourselves
  • how to strip everything you know about yourself and build a new story from scratch
  • how to chose to not to play the victim
  • why there are no such things as barriers, limitations, and judgements outside the ones you create in your own mind
  • why the “I already know” attitude prevents your from learning
  • why Mark as a dad wants to be constantly humbled so he can admit his faults and be a transparent, authentic dad

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Working to Live, Not Living to Work with Aaron Walker

How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood

Battling Cancer as a Dad with Hal Elrod

 


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Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
Thanks for the support.

CLICK HERE.


The YNAB app. You Need a Budget

Get a FREE 2 Month Trial at YNAB.com/dads


Mark Crandall’s Links

Website

Podcast

Instagram

Amazon

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become one of over 330 men of The Dad Edge Alliance

APPLY HERE!

 


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @thedadedge