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emotional intelligence skills for men

Emotional Intelligence Skills for Men with Dr. Nick Sotelo

In this episode, we have invited Dr. Nick Sotelo, a coach and counselor. He is a leader in our Dad Edge Alliance and guides people to reaching their potential. He has succeeded in helping people achieve more in their careers and relationships.

Dr. Nick also helps men struggling with addiction, their identity, and their ability to connect well with spouses and children. Today we talk about emotional intelligence skills for men.

You will learn how to master your anger and patience, how to become more self-aware, and how to realize and reach your potential for an upgraded life!

What You’ll Learn

Relationship Pitfalls

[9:22]

Nick discusses the importance of the degree of knowledge and awareness. It’s about different styles of how families do certain things and blend them into a new relationship.

[10:26]

Building a relationship is new learning, and sometimes there come challenges that people should know what’s worth fighting for. Nick emphasizes the importance of awareness of what people are bringing into a relationship, especially on the front-end types.

Overcoming the Feeling of Brokenness

[15:32]

Finding people, especially with your family, or creating a connection to spiritual and religious institutions and asking or receiving guidance and mentorship around relationship issues, specifically communication, and learning what it takes to make a marriage work.

[16:36]

Nobody wants to view themselves as broken. But learning from a different perspective, it is essential to acknowledge brokenness, get over it and move on.

Realization and Acceptance

[17:28]

There is nothing wrong with being imperfect. The difference is that as being flawed, at a mastermind, people are humble and is always eager to learn and live a legendary life. In the group environment at a mastermind, a variety of people acts to learn from different experiences.

[20:50]

Nick shared that people should be allowed to show their vulnerabilities. He once was one of the guys who can’t accept that something is wrong and tell people that everything was fine.

[22:10]

In their call team statement, there is a saying that “we are men willing to do the work,” He believes that it is vital for people as accountability is one way to help someone forward.

Anger Issues

[28:04]

Nick studied the psychological side of feelings and emotions and how people will integrate them and deal with everyday frustrations that can cause anger.

[29:53]

Anger is a confusing feeling when connected to other emotions. He believes that part of the work is understanding what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you afraid, and what makes you angry. He said that people are mad because other feelings could be active, and we are not aware of it.

Four Phases Components

[30:48]

People should figure out their thoughts and their feelings.

[31:58]

Learn to take some box breathing deep breaths and how to remove yourself from a situation. Also, learn how to trigger some helpful thoughts in your mind instead of clinging to the not so useful ideas.

[32:17]

Building up people’s resilience to anger is essential to him. Change the routine and change the media that you choose to take into your being every single day.

[33:05]

When enduring a problem with anger or a pattern with anger, learn to link it back to forgiveness. Either forgiveness for yourself, for something that you think that you’ve done, or forgiveness for other people along the way that have inflicted damage.

Dr. Nick Sotelo’s Links

nicksotelo.com

LinkedIn


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The Process, Art, and Science of Leadership with Errol Doebler

The Process, Art, and Science of Leadership with Errol Doebler


What would your world look like if you were a cool and confident leader? What if you could implement an environment of emotional awareness, problem-solving, and a never quit attitude in your work, home, and on the battlefield of life?

Errol Doebler is a former Navy SEAL, FBI Special Agent, and an elite executive consultant. He believes that the same leadership applied during the chaos on the battlefield is the same leadership that should be applied in business and at home.

No matter how you’ve approached life so far, leadership is a skill that can be learned. Errol reveals the exact methodology you need  to transform yourself into an empathetic and wise leader, living with intention in everything you do.

Errol Doebler

With over 20 combined years as a Navy SEAL and FBI Special Agent Errol believes that combat, in all its various forms, is the ultimate expression of consequence. If combat leadership is not done correctly one of three consequences will be realized, all of which are unacceptable: mission failure, injury, or death. Errol also believes that the leadership exhibited during times of chaos and struggle should not be vastly different than the leadership exhibited during times of relative calm and accord. There is no, “Break glass in case of emergency” leadership playbook.

Errol believes in the power of leadership. He believes it is leadership that can solve any problem. He believes his process, born out of the blood, sweat, and tears of mistakes and successes over a lifetime, will create an environment of clarity in purpose and behavior that will sustain you during hard times and propel you during the good times.

The Process, Art, and Science of Leadership: How Leaders Inspire Confidence and Clarity in Combat, in the Boardroom, and at the Kitchen Table

Despite the fact that leading can look and feel messy at times, there is a very distinct process to leading well that can be followed in combat, in business, and in our most important place of leadership…at home. Where most leaders struggle with accomplishing their goals and getting buy-in from their teams, this book provides a methodology that will help any leader guide their team successfully.

Leadership takes many forms in many different environments. Leaders come in all shapes and sizes, too. No matter the environment or who you are as a leader, one thing is for certain: effective leadership is not a matter of personality or circumstances. It is a process that is applicable to every leader of every stripe in every environment.

In this illuminating book, Errol Doebler shows an uncommon and refreshing vulnerability in sharing his many self-inflicted wounds and successes so that readers can learn from his many years of experience. You’ll learn the art of applying the process to your personal needs and the science of how it works, and you’ll have concrete tools for practicing the process through breathing exercises and cold exposure. The process is structured yet flexible, allowing you to lead in a way that is authentic to you.

What You’ll Learn

  • Emotional awareness is the basis of everything.
  • Errol Doebler’s home is naturally chaotic, but it runs on a set of guidelines of how they do business as a family.
  • Teaching politeness and good manners will help kids develop confidence.
  • Learn the evolution of your child’s needs to treat them in age appropriate ways.
  • When kids are upset, you must talk about it. Ask them, “How do you feel?” Help them to identify their emotions.
  • Acknowledge your child’s feelings, examine and process them, and tell them to get back out there. Don’t quit.
  • Errol’s believes his wife warrants the utmost respect. He ensures he is looking after her needs at every moment.
  • Make your home a safe space where family members can explain how they feel, no matter what it is.
  • How to ask for the time and space you need as a man.
  • Expectation and agenda build emotional resentment.
  • When you ask your spouse what is wrong, you have to be ready to absorb the answer.
  • Process–Emotional, cultural, and personal awareness and recognition—the emotions that drive our actions.
  • Process allows you to go back and see what went right and what went wrong.
  • Our minds open when we have a process. It gives us the space to see different solutions.
  • Guidelines for Behavior–Make decisions on how you want to behave.
  • Planning–Leaders (dads) make judgements based on mission accomplishment. Plan accordingly.
  • Resistance–Understanding resistance and how to push through it.
  • Science–You’re not lazy or incapable. You’re neurochemically addicted to the brain chemicals released by emotions.
  • Art–Understand the emotions and how they affect you differently compared to everyone else.
    • When acting on a bad emotion, go back and evaluate, what was the result?
    • Which emotions do you need to employ to make your life better and the lives around you better?
  • Preparing plans for the micro-situations in life.
  • Setting the intention to always forgive yourself.
  • Errol practices intention using ice baths.
  • Errol and the Wim Hof method

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Becoming a Dangerous Man with Tripp Lanier

What Doesn’t Kill Us with Scott Carney

Communication Mastery for Fathers with Chris Voss

 


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Errol Doebler’s Links

leader193.com

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Becoming a King Morgan Snyder

Becoming a King with Morgan Snyder


Our actions reveal our beliefs about ourselves 100% of the time. Are you living the right story?

Life is up to me. I’m all alone. I have to make it happen. Most men live with these unspoken beliefs. We are full of intensity and lacking joy.

But we are not alone. We never were. All we have to do is stop insulating ourselves from the divine guidance that is available to us.

Today’s guest is Morgan Snyder. He is the author of Becoming a King: The Path to Restoring The Heart Of A Man. Morgan teaches us how to become spiritually mature enough to accept the invitation to become who we really are. He tells us how to acknowledge our younger selves and give them the healing they need. He also talks about giving our kids the father they truly need, not our idea of what we think a good father is.

Restore the power of your heart. Open your soul. Ignite the faith that will allow you to live beyond your identity.

Everything that matters is invisible.

Morgan Snyder

Morgan Snyder is a grateful husband of over 20 years and a proud father of a wildly creative and witty daughter and a joyful and passionate son. He serves as a strategist, entrepreneur, teacher, writer, and speaker. His passion is to both be shaped by and shape the men and women who are shaping the kingdom of God. In 2010, he established BecomeGoodSoil, a fellowship of leaders whose global reach offers guidance for the narrow road of becoming the kind of person to whom God can confidently entrust the care of his kingdom.

Morgan serves on the executive leadership team at Wild at Heart and has contended for the wholeheartedness of men and women alongside John and Stasi Eldredge for more than two decades. Morgan goes off the grid every chance he gets, whether bowhunting in the Colorado wilderness or choosing the adventurous life with his greatest treasures: his wife, Cherie; his son, Joshua; and his daughter, Abigail.

The Path to Restoring The Heart Of A Man

Morgan Snyder’s Becoming a King speaks unabashedly to men, teaching them the life-changing truth about the power that God intends for them to responsibly step into for his Kingdom, while also giving women an honest peek behind the curtain into the lives and hearts of the men they know and love.

I’m not the man I was, but I’m not the man I will become.

What You’ll Learn

  • The message Morgan got from his father was, “I am loved when I provide.” In his pursuit of earning, he won the world and lost his soul.
  • One day he thought, “If I died tonight, what would I say to God? I’ve done nothing but serve myself.”
  • This moment didn’t heal his soul. It saved it, but he was still a boy in a man’s body.
  • Morgan set out a path and process of recovering wholeheartedness, going through maturation spiritually.
  • A person uninitiated spiritually will feel responsible for others’ happiness.
  • How to love your children unconditionally and release all outcomes to God.
  • Your goal to be your idea of a great dad may not be what your kids need.
  • Morgan shares where he’s blown it as a dad.
  • We all have a Father who is working out our stories for us.
  • Jesus lived as a son. He was not independent. He was Father centered.
  • We live as orphan spirits and slaves.
  • We’re all under construction. We need to go through a masculine initiation.
  • Let God parent you. When you’re facing a problem, pause and ask your Father his take on it.
  • You’re the only obstacle in receiving His love.
  • Think of a playful and patient god who is near, in real time and real intimacy.
  • Fatherless boys feel unworthy, defective, unlovable.
  • We must be aware of the young places within us that are inviting us to healing.
  • Where do we feel shame and scarcity? When did we first experience this feeling? Excavate and be curious.
  • What defends us from pain insulates us from God.
  • If you’re a sinner saved by grace, you will never live beyond sin.
  • The things that we have the most shame about, we can make into our greatest strengths.
  • Be kind to your soul.

RELATED EPISODES:

Wild at Heart with John Eldredge

The Fires of a Man’s Soul with Stephen Mansfield

Glory and Strength: Keeping the Faith Through Loss with Nate Edmonds

 


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Morgan Snyder’s Links

becomegoodsoil.com

Amazon

Resources

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one last talk

One Last Talk: Your Truth Matters with Philip McKernan

If you had one last talk to deliver to the world, what would you say? Who would you say it to?

Philip McKernan is a speaker, author, and enlightened hooligan. He is the creator of the One Last Talk speaking series and author of One Last Talk: Why Your Truth Matters and How to Deliver It.

Philip talks about how all of us have endured some kind of childhood trauma, and that no matter how perfect we try to be, we are going to hurt and disappoint our kids too. But Philip also tells us how we can find our greatest gifts by exploring our deepest wounds, and why we must speak our truth to heal ourselves and others.

This episode is going to hit you hard and stay with you a long time. Give yourself space to listen and time to reflect. It will transform your life.

“Everything we want lies just beyond a conversation we’re not willing to have.”—Philip McKernan

Philip McKernan

Philip works with entrepreneurs and business leaders all over the world. When people are seeking clarity about their future or want to move through roadblocks, seen and unseen, they call Philip. As a speaker, he has inspired and challenged the Canadian Olympic Team and The Pentagon to name a few. He is also the founder and is spearheading the One Last Talk™ movement.

He helps people get clear on who they are and where they need to go. He helps them transition in their personal and professional lives so people feel aligned in all areas of life. Philip believes who and what we do ‘off the ice’ has a huge impact on our results ‘on the ice’. His groundbreaking Team Deepening™ work with organizations gives teams a refreshing way to connect and build real and collective resilience.

What separates Philip from a lot of coaches, speakers and gurus is originality. He brings new conversations to the table and spends an obscene amount of time thinking and challenging the status quo, instead of simply repackaging business & life hacking strategies. Philip McKernan is a philosopher, a modern day philosopher of the human experience. His pioneering philosophy around SoulSet™ equips and empowers people to uncover their gifts and impact the world.

With a knack of getting into all sorts of scenarios – he’s caddied in golf for the President of Ireland, been chased and nearly killed by a bull elephant in Nigeria and made wine in Australia. He has traveled to 80 countries around the globe, built an orphanage in Peru, written 5 books despite being dyslexic and created his first documentary film called Give & Grow. The film explores how the gift of giving makes us feel more worthy and alive. It also explores the science behind the impact of giving on our emotional well being, our mental health, our physiology, and our businesses.

Philip believes the path to a happy and fulfilling life is found through the meaning we derive in life through the WORK we do, our relationship to OTHERS and the most important relationship of all, the one with one’s SELF.

One Last Talk

This shocking and provocative question is at the core of the remarkable and inspiring book, One Last Talk: Why Your Truth Matters And How To Deliver It. This book emerged from the speaking series designed to help people discover their truth, and then speak it out loud, developed by renowned coach Philip McKernan.

In this book, McKernan goes beyond the event, and dives into what it means to discover your truth and speak it, why people should do this, and then deeply explains exactly how this can be done. If you feel living more authentically could allow you to have a greater impact on others, or you can’t find the words to speak your truth as boldly as you know you need to, this is the book for you.

Make no mistake, the path McKernan lays out is simple, but not easy, because your greatest gift lies next to your deepest wounds.

What You’ll Learn

  • Anyone who says they had the perfect childhood is lying to lying to themselves.
  • Our parents are flawed because they are human and they all lack in some way.
  • How to separate our parents from their behaviors so we can see them as people
  • When it’s our turn to become parents, we either repeat history or try desperately not to repeat it. Either way, it’s not an organic way of parenting
  • Everyone has had significant trauma, but we underplay it.
  • What’s the point of uncovering past trauma? The cracks from unresolved trauma start to appear later in our lives.
  • Examining not only how trauma hurt us, but how it served us
  • How uncovering childhood trauma can actually strengthen your relationship with your parents
  • Knowing you will mess up as a parent allows you to let go of perfection.
  • How do you know if you’re being a good dad? Your internal compass will tell you.
  • We underestimate our kids’ ability to comprehend how we feel.
  • Why Philip includes his kids in every conversation
  • Showing your kids your weakness allows them to become strong for you.
  • As kids get older and go through tough times, you will want your kids to share their struggles and fears with you. But you can’t expect them to do that if you have never come to them for support. By not sharing with them, you’ve trained them not to share with you.
  • Kids long for validation, so we must be aware of what we’re giving our attention to.
  • When we don’t speak our truth, it slowly destroys us.
  • Amazing things happen when you release your truth into the world.
  • 95% of people die with regrets.
  • We must live as the most authentic version of ourselves so our kids can be inspired to do the same.
  • Why Philip would die for his children, but refuses to live his life for them.
  • How to get started with that One Last Talk
  • We’re already being driven by our past. Living the future is a way of escaping the now. We need to face the present.
  • The more you try not to be like somebody, the more you become more like them.
  • We isolate because we don’t feel good enough and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
  • We give ourselves what we feel we deserve in life.
  • Self-sabotage exists in even the highest-level performers.
  • The people who are telling you how great everything is are the ones who are the most insecure.
  • Philip’s job on this earth is to eradicate loneliness. He believes the greatest pandemic we’re facing is isolation.

MENTION EPISODES:

Stop Doing That Sh*t with Gary John Bishop

How to Unf*ck Yourself with Gary John Bishop


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Philip McKernan’s links

philipmckernan.com

onelasttalk.com

Facebook

YouTube

Amazon

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EBOOK: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Follow Us


THRIVE IN THE FACE OF UNCERTAINTY

Register for the Dad Edge Virtual Summit

Dad Edge Virtual Summit 2020

IT’S TIME TO REINVENT HOW WE SHOW UP FOR OUR FAMILIES

Coronavirus is forcing our evolution as fathers.  We are all going to build a whole new set of superpowers.  And these superpowers are needed right now.  For many of us, we are multiplying our future ability to serve, exponentially.

YOU WILL NOT WANT TO MISS THIS.

Guest Speakers

Dr. Meg Meeker
New York Times Bestselling Author of “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters” and “HERO”
Anthony Trucks
Former NFL Football Player and American Ninja Warrior
Aaron Walker
Founder of View From the Top and bestselling author of “View from the Top” and coming soon “Isolation is the Enemy of Excellence.”
Dominic Quartuccio
Bestselling author of “Design Your Future.”

CHOOSE YOUR PACKAGE


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Kung Fu Parenting


How can you can cooperate—not compete—with your kids, set boundaries, focus on the positive, and make your parenting flow instead of it always being a struggle?

We are honored to have Jeremy Roadruck among our Dad Edge Alliance members. He’s a Kung Fu master, public speaker, and bestselling author. He’s also an empowerment coach for families and children, giving parents and kids the tools they need to feel seen, heard, felt, and understood.

Today, Jeremy talks about how we can add Kung Fu principles to our parenting skill set, allowing self-awareness and compassion to guide us, developing a deep rapport with our children that will give them the inner strength and joy to win in all areas of life.

What You’ll Learn

  • The importance of the way we store things internally
  • The power of detachment
  • How trials are a gift, helping us to develop self-awareness and compassion toward others
  • How to play games worth winning
  • Life is always a positive game. All roadblocks are self-generated.
  • The difference between patience and passive waiting
  • Why, like in Kung Fu, we should stop chasing the outcome
  • Balancing the masculine and feminine
  • The difference between winning and not losing
  • How judgement kills our rapport and our influence
  • The power of your story about yourself changes your behavior.
  • How to channel your kids’ energy to the positive
  • Why your spouse must come before your kids

Leave an iTunes review.
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If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

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CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.



Jeremy Roadruck

theparentingprogram.com

Free Book—Your Best Child Ever: Is This Game Worth Winning?

Facebook

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==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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LINKS


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