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roger mathews

Positive Fatherhood with Roger Mathews


Today we have a celebrity guest, Roger Mathews from the Jersey Shore. He was JWoww’s boyfriend in the show, and they got married and had two kids. They are now divorced, and Roger only gets to be with his children 50% of the time, but that doesn’t stop him from being a 100% dad. What you’re going to hear today about his take on fatherhood is going to surprise you.

Roger Mathews talks about his upbringing and the amazing connection he has with his father. He talks about the lessons in money management he will pass on to his kids, and how he manages their screen time. He gets real about dealing with a special needs child. Most important of all, Roger talks about focusing on the positive in fatherhood and trying to put good things into the world in spite of the chaos that is happening right now.

What You’ll Learn

[20:00]

Before becoming a father, Roger already had an experience of what a great dad is. Roger says that he’s very close to his father and they have a special bond between them.

He describes his dad to be soft-spoken and he would rarely punish his children for doing anything wrong. It was generally his mom who did the heavy lifting.

Here are a few important lessons Roger learned from his dad:

  1. Financial literacy: There was one quote his dad said about finance: “if you can’t pay for something you, you probably don’t deserve it.” Roger says that he himself uses his dad’s quotes to teach his children.
  2. Another quote that Roger remembers, “There’s nothing in this world you can do to extend your time on earth, but there’s a lot of things you can do to shorten it.” This taught Roger early on how crucial his life is and how important it is to protect it.
  3. His dad was a spiritual person and Roger talks about a lot of other quotes that helped him navigate through life with a spiritual perspective.

[30:30]

Coming to Roger as a dad, he’s a proud father of a 4 and a 6-year-old. 

He’s very adventurous and loves to go out whenever he sees a moment. He also encourages his kids to go out.

Roger explains that before getting kids, his life was more “selfish” but after having them, he lives for his kids.

[43:27]

Later in the interview, Roger was asked how be a dad to a special needs child.

Roger says that this is the most common question he gets, and honestly, every child is different. How he treats his child is probably not the best way you should treat yours.

His son, Grayson is diagnosed with autism. Roger says he does everything that needs to be done. His son takes therapy every week and is mild to moderate on the spectrum.

Roger further explains how he hates the word “normal.” He says that every one of us has something different from normal that makes all of us not “normal.”

He emphasizes the point of not giving labels to kids because it goes deeper into their subconscious and becomes their reality.

 


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Our biggest regrets in life happen
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how to have more patience

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screen kids

Taking Your Kids Back from Their Screens with Arlene Pellicane


It has been extremely difficult during lockdown and virtual schooling to limit screen time for our kids. That is why we have Arlene Pellicane back on the show to talk about Screen Kids, the latest book she’s co-written with Gary Chapman.

Arlene Pellicane tells us what too much screen time will do to our kids’ brains. She explains us how the internet trains kids to become accustomed to instant gratification and how that affects their wellbeing and behavior over time. Most importantly, she teaches us how to set non-negotiable boundaries around computers and devices in our homes.

Learn how to keep screen time balanced for you and your kids once and for all in this episode!

 

Arlene Pellicane

If you didn’t get to listen to Arlene’s first show, The Cool, Calm, and Connected Family, click here. She is a speaker and author of several books including Parents Rising, 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom, and Calm, Cool and Connected: 5 Digital Habits for a More Balanced Life. Arlene has been featured on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Focus on the Family, and FamilyLife Today. She’s the host of the Happy Home Podcast and regular contributor to Proverbs 31 Ministries.

Now she’s co-written Screen Kids and Grandparenting Screen Kids with Gary Chapman.

Arlene lives in San Diego with her husband James and their three children. You too can have a happy home – Arlene’s books will show you how.

Screen Kids: 5 Relational Skills Every Child Needs in a Tech-Driven World

Has Technology Taken Over Your Home?

In this digital age, children spend more time interacting with screens and less time playing outside, reading a book, or interacting with family. Though technology has its benefits, it also has its harms.

In Screen Kids Gary Chapman and Arlene Pellicane will empower you with the tools you need to make positive changes. Through stories, science, and wisdom, you’ll discover how to take back your home from an overdependence on screens. Plus, you’ll learn to teach the five A+ skills that every child needs to master: affection, appreciation, anger management, apology, and attention. Learn how to:

  • Protect and nurture your child’s growing brain
  • Establish simple boundaries that make a huge difference
  • Recognize the warning signs of gaming too much
  • Raise a child who won’t gauge success through social media
  • Teach your child to be safe online

This newly revised edition features the latest research and interactive assessments, so you can best confront the issues technology create in your home. Now is the time to equip your child with a healthy relationship with screens and an even healthier relationship with others.

What You’ll Learn

  • Your device is designed to be sticky. Everything is created on purpose so you and your child will check it frequently.
  • A bicycle is a tool that waits for you to use it. Tech is not. It keeps prompting you to pick it up.
  • You’re not a bad parent and your kid is not without self-control. But it’s up to you to empower yourself.
  • None of Arlene’s kids have smartphones. How does she do it?
  • Children want devices to be like everyone else.
  • Kids gauge their worth on how many followers and fans they have.
  • There is an increase of suicide, depression, and self-harm in kids. Followers are not friends. The relationships are not satisfying.
  • Boys can be exposed to porn.
  • Girls are exposed to social media that always makes them feel less-than.
  • There are workarounds to raising kids with no devices.
  • Every kid is different. Some kids can limit themselves and others can’t.
  • Parents must set separate rules for each child if necessary.
  • It’s okay to show kids that life can be unfair.
  • Teach your kids to use the phone for a purpose.
  • When wondering if your child should be online, ask yourself are youR kids consuming or creating? Is what they’re doing digital vegetable (learning, creating) or digital candy (passive consumption, gaming)?
  • Screen time reduces kids’ tolerance to waiting, and they are used to being entertained all the time.
  • There is a difference between watching movies together as a family and your kids watching what they want by themselves.
  • Dopamine can be overdone. That’s why kids who are amused by games all day are moody and unhappy.
  • When your kid plays a video game that triggers flight or flight, blood flow to the prefrontal cortex is reduced. The decision-making center for self-control is dark.
  • When kids are constantly in survival mode, they lose practice of the executive center of their brains.
  • Devices are too accessible. Location is the key to regulation.
    • Make barriers.
    • Collect phones at night.
    • Keep screens in common areas.
    • Delay giving your child a device for as long as you can.
    • Take a digital sabbath, one day completely screen free. If your kids freak out during 24 hours without WIFI, you know you have a problem

RELATED EPISODES:

The Cool, Calm, and Connected Family with Arlene Pellicane

Digital Minimalism with Cal Newport

Parents’ Guide to Video Game Addiction with Cam Adair

Love Languages and Other Marriage Tips for the Pandemic with Gary Chapman

 


Protect your kids with the Bark App

cyberbullying

sexual content

suicidal ideation

online predators


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Arlene Pelicane’s Links

arlenepellicane.com

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Arlene Pellicane

The Cool, Calm, and Connected Family with Arlene Pellicane


We all want to live in a happy home, have a deep relationship with our spouse, and confident and capable kids. But how do we create the home life we dream of in today’s world?

Arlene Pellicane shows us how. She is an author and speaker whose mission is to encourage families. Among her books are Parents Rising, 31 Days to a Happy Husband, and Cool, Calm, and Connected. Arlene helps parents raise kids who are ready for life (not just playing video games), and also helps couples take their so-so marriage to a joyful one.

Arlene Pellicane talks about what a man needs most from his wife and how a couple can fall in love again. She explains the complementary roles of mothers and fathers and how to leverage the strengths of each. Arlene also tells us how to raise obedient, respectful children, and how we can live with more purpose, and less screen time.

You can live in a happy home. Listen to discover how.

“The home works best when children obey their parents.”—Arlene Pellicane

Arlene Pellicane

Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of several books including Parents Rising, 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom, and Calm, Cool and Connected: 5 Digital Habits for a More Balanced Life. Arlene has been featured on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Focus on the Family, and FamilyLife Today. She’s the host of the Happy Home Podcast and regular contributor to Proverbs 31 Ministries.

Arlene lives in San Diego with her husband James and their three children. You too can have a happy home – Arlene’s books will show you how.

31 Days to a Happy Husband

What does a man need most from his wife? Arlene Pellicane, author of 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife, asked numerous husbands that question. Based on their answers, Pellicane identified five keys that will give wives a new appreciation and understanding of how to love and care for their mates.

Parents Rising: 8 Strategies for Raising Kids Who Love God, Respect Authority, and Value What’s Right

Do you feel like you’re fighting a losing battle? Against the culture, against the busyness, sometimes even against your spouse and kids… Often it seems like everything is against you as a parent, and your everyday life can feel far from joy-filled. But it doesn’t need to be that way. Parents Rising will show you eight cultural trends that parents are up against today and what you can do to claim victory.

What You’ll Learn

  • Even if you didn’t have a happy home growing up, you can create one.
  • The 5 keys that will give wives a new appreciation and understanding of how to love and care for their husbands.
    • Domestic tranquility–A husband needs a peaceful haven.
    • Respect–A husband needs to be honored in his home.
    • Eros–A husband needs a fulfilling sex life.
    • Attraction–A husband needs to be attracted to his wife.
    • Mutual activities–A husband needs to have fun with his wife.
  • Before, kids were seen and not heard. The dynamic has flipped.
  • Amusement is not the highest priority.
  • Dads are good at taking charge.
  • Moms tend to over-accommodate and overcomplicate.
  • The differences between the mother and father is good and complimentary. Leverage these qualities.
  • Don’t let your wife stop you from being the leader.
  • How to speak to your wife about how she is managing the kids without upsetting her.
  • How screen time prevents kids from enjoying simple pleasures
  • What screen time does to a child’s brain—it’s like eating candy all day long.
  • Devices are programmed to be addictive. We would not hand a child a beer or cigarette.
  • During video games, the prefrontal cortex doesn’t get blood flow.
  • How to tell if your child is a casual, at risk, or addicted video gamer
  • Devices prevent neural pathways from being built. It’s just one-way passive consumption.
  • Devices prevent kids from learning social skills, like looking someone in the eye or carrying on a conversation.
  • Why you should not let your kids have their own devices
  • Will kids be left behind technologically if they don’t spend time on the internet?
  • QUIZ: Is my child getting too much screen time?

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Protecting Your Family from Gaming Addiction with Cam Adair

Digital Minimalism with Cal Newport


Protect your kids with the Bark App

cyberbullying

sexual content

suicidal ideation

online predators


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


Arlene Pelicane’s Links

arlenepellicane.com

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

YouTube

Amazon

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

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FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

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how to protect your kids online

How to Protect Your Kids: Online Predators, Cyberbullying, and Sexual Content with Titania Jordan


As dads, we are the protectors, the warriors. But how can we protect our children when we don’t know what we’re up against? Whether it’s a tablet, phone, or computer—our kids are exposed to a minefield of predators, cyberbullies, and sexual content. We are the first generation with this problem. What is the best way to protect our children from this insidious danger?

This show is scary, but we are at war. As fathers, we have a duty and responsibility to keep our kids safe. We give our sons and daughters seatbelts in the car and helmets when they ride a bike. In this digital age, we need to give them the same kind of safety gear for navigating the internet.

Today we have Titania Jordan on The Dad Edge. She is the Chief Parent Officer at Bark, an app that helps families manage and protect their children’s online lives. She tells us the disturbing reality of what our kids are exposed to on the internet. She gives us a guide on how and when to talk to our kids about what they may encounter on the internet and the best way to protect them from online predators, cyberbullying, and sexual content.

This show will disturb and enrage you, but it’s the information parents desperately need. Don’t miss it!

Titania Jordan

As CPO, Titania drives Bark’s marketing, customer acquisition, and media relations efforts and is an industry-leading source of expertise and advice for the broader community. She has extensive experience at the intersection of families and technology, formerly serving as CMO at KidsLink, co-founder/CMO at Privet, and executive director of Band of Coders Girls Academy.

Titania holds a bachelor’s degree in marketing, and enjoys painting and building some pretty sweet LEGO cities with her family in her downtime.

Bark

As a busy parent, reading every text message, post, and email just isn’t realistic.

Instead, Bark was created by parents, for parents to offer a better, easier, and more effective way to keep children safe online.

Created in collaboration with child psychologists, youth advisors, digital media experts, and law enforcement professionals, Bark delivers a research-backed, kid-friendly solution for safeguarding families as technology changes how and where we communicate.

Get a 7-day free trial plus 10% off!
gooddadproject.com/barkbark free trial

What You’ll Learn

  • 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be the victims of sexual abuse in some shape or form before the age of 18.
  • Access frequency and points to the internet are exponential for our children.
  • 3 out of 4 tweens and teens are cyberbullied or have witnessed cyberbullying. Only 11% will talk to parents about it.
  • Half of tweens and 3 out of 4 teens engage in conversations on the internet about depression, self-harm, and suicide.
  • Suicide is 2nd cause of death 10 to 24-year-olds in US.
  • 70% of tweens (ages 8-12) and 84% teens have been exposed to sexual content.
  • 1 in 4 teens are sexting.
  • Your child can get into trouble for sending, receiving, or forwarding a nude of an underage peer.
  • Bark produced a documentary about what happened when a 37-year-old mom posed as young girl on social media. Watch it here.
  • Adult men, not women, are sexually exploiting children online.
  • Titania believes it’s our job as parents to raise men who do not become sexual predators.
  • Online predators do not look like criminals. They are often normal, everyday people—doctors, pastors, and fathers.
  • Some adult men abuse because they were abused themselves. These people need rehab, support, and therapy.
  • Kids are afraid to speak up because of shame or they’re afraid that their devices will be taken away.
  • Make sure your kids know it’s okay to come to you if they feel uncomfortable.
  • Be mindful of not only your child’s screen time, but also your own. Set the example.
  • With the Bark app, you will get an alert for suspicious activity, plus a report on how to discuss it with your child.

RELATED EPISODES:

How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography with Kristen Jenson

Protecting Your Family from Gaming Addiction with Cam Adair

The Truth About Your Kids and Technology: Exclusive Dad Edge Alliance Q&A with Cal Newport

 


Leave an iTunes review.
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If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

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Bark

bark.us

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Online Predator Documentary: Social Media Dangers Exposed by Mom Posing as 11-Year-Old

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

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Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

LINKS


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digital distraction

How to Raise Indistractable Kids with Nir Eyal


Digital distraction is a critical problem for parents today. It seems like social media, tech, and video games are hijacking our kids’ lives, but what if the amount of time our kids spend on devices is a symptom of a much deeper issue?

Today we have Nir Eyal on The Dad Edge Podcast. He is a professor at Stanford’s Graduate School of Business and the author of international bestseller, Hooked—How to Build Habit-Forming Products. His upcoming book, Indistractable—How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life, is a guidebook for getting the best of tech without letting it get the best of us.

Nir Eyal knows better than anyone about how people get sucked into the rabbit hole of digital distraction, but what he’s going to tell us today will blow your mind. Listen as he outlines the psychology of distraction and how to address the true source of the problem so that kids don’t feel the need to overuse technology.

It’s not about what you’re doing, it’s if you planned to do it.—Nir Eyal

Nir Eyal

Nir Eyal became acutely aware of the problem of digital distraction after his daughter was born. He remembers some of her first words were, “iPad time! iPad time!” After many years helping companies make habit-forming products, he struggled with the idea of parenting in this age of distraction.

This drove him to research all he could find on the topic of distraction and technology. Nir was surprised to find out that the information propagated in the media did not align with the academic research. The tech companies weren’t the villains like most people thought. It was our own lack of “psychological nutrients.”

From then on, Nir’s mission was to learn and teach how to be an indistractable parent and raise indistractable kids.

What You’ll Learn

  • What makes a habit-forming technology?
  • The difference between a habit and an addiction
  • The “hook” business model: Trigger, action, reward, investment
  • How companies understand what makes you tick and click better than you know yourself
  • How to “hack back” and put tech in its place
  • The difference between traction and distraction
    • When an activity is aligned with your values, it’s traction
    • When it’s not, it’s distraction
  • The internal and external triggers that prompt us to take action
  • How all human motivation is geared to avoid discomfort
  • The root of all distraction: kids trying to avoid psychologically uncomfortable situations
  • How to give your kids the tools to fight distraction themselves
  • Why it’s not the tech’s fault that you or your kids are distracted
  • The 4 steps to become indistractable
    • Master internal triggers
    • Make time for traction
    • Hack back external triggers
    • Make pre-commitments to prevent distraction
  • Why we do things we know we shouldn’t do and avoid things that are in our best interest
  • The psychological nutrients children need for mental well-being: a sense of mastery, autonomy, and relatedness
  • If they don’t receive psychological nutrients in the real world, they will look for them in the virtual world
  • How video games give kids a sense of mastery
  • How free play is a record lows
  • The myth of the rebellious teenager
  • How free play with peers develop children’s sense of relatedness
  • How to set tech boundaries together with your kids
  • How to get kids to enforce their own rules around tech
  • Why you don’t just want to raise a rule follower, but a kid who can make the best decisions for themselves.
  • At what age kids should be allowed to go on social media
  • How to know if your kids are ready for certain to technology
  • How to prioritize kids’ time for free play with friends in the real world by teaming up with likeminded parents
  • How free play prevents anxiety and depression
  • Why parents have to walk the walk themselves
  • How we are sabotaging ourselves by blaming tech companies for taking over our brains


MENTIONED EPISODES

Digital Minimalism with Cal Newport

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less with Greg McKeown

Parents’ Guide to Video Game Addiction with Cam Adair

 


Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
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Nir Eyal’s Links

nirandfar.com

Twitter

Amazon

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become one of the 350 men of The Dad Edge Alliance

APPLY HERE!

 


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @thedadedge