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Marriage Partnership

Marriage Partnership in Action

Last month for Thursday Throwdown, we covered the 4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage with Lance Salazar. Over 4 weeks, he broke it down into: The Individual, The Partnership, Becoming Friends, and Becoming Lovers. Today I’m going to talk about the marriage partnership in action.

I applied a quasi business-like approach to working with my wife to make sure we were on the same page when it came to responsibilities. This included a weekly meeting where we “frontloaded” and planned everything in advance, from who was taking the kids to school to what we were having for dinner. We even synchronized our schedule in a Google calendar. Is it worth doing all this tedious planning? How does it benefit our marriage?

Listen and find out!

Don’t forget to catch up with the other episodes in this series!

4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage Part 1—The Individual

4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage Part 2—The Partnership

4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage Part 3—Becoming Friends

4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage Part 4—Becoming Lovers

 

RELATED EPISODES

How to Optimize The Structure of Work, Family, and Fulfillment with Dave Hollis

Becoming a Legendary Couple After the Kids

How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood


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managing happiness

Managing Happiness: Applying Business Success Principles to Family Life with David Henzel

David Henzel is a radically successful entrepreneur whose calling is to help people live happier lives. Most of us are trying to achieve a work life balance, but we tend to end up overwhelmed and stressed out. Our relationships with our family may be difficult or unfulfilling, but rarely do we give the same attention to detail to our home life as we do to our business. This show is about managing happiness by applying business success principles to your family life.

 

David Henzel

David Henzel is from Germany where his parents raised him in an unusual way – with no authority. David was given the freedom to make his own choices, good or bad, and deal with the consequences himself. He made a lot of stupid decisions, like beginning to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day at age twelve, but his parents gave him space to learn on his own while being a source of unconditional support. In his household, there was no violence or yelling. No matter what he did, he knew he could go to his parents. They were his allies, not adults to hide from.

My dad used to say, “If you have to yell, your argument is too weak.”

David always had the heart of an entrepreneur and dropped out of school early to pursue his dreams. He visited Los Angeles when he was eighteen years old, and felt the city was calling to him, but getting a visa was difficult. He had to open several businesses in Germany to raise enough money to set up his new life in the United States in 2009. David met his wife there, and they later they decided to move back to Europe to be closer to her family. They now live in Turkey with their three-year-old daughter.

Managing Happiness

At one point in their marriage, David’s wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. Thankfully she is cured now, but that dark time forced David to reflect on his life. Although he was a successful entrepreneur, he felt he wasn’t living up to his purpose. He was afraid he might die with regrets.

He pondered over what his purpose was and did a funeral exercise, imagining everyone he knew getting up and making speeches about him. What did he most want them to say?

From this he crafted his personal mission statement.

To be a change agent who’s transforming individuals and organizations so they can reach their full potential and consciously life the life they desire.

Applying Business Success Principles to Family Life

It was during an argument with his wife over who was responsible for changing their daughter’s diaper that David realized that one of the reasons for friction in the household was that no one knew what their roles were. Responsibilities and expectations were not defined like they were in a business environment.

So David and his wife made a list of who took care of which duties. He says this simple exercise took away 80% of arguments out of the relationship. We all spend time and money improving business structure, efficiency, and flow, but most of us don’t spend 1% of our time to make our family work.

David saw the amazing effect his experiment had on his household, and became passionate about sharing his methods. This is why he developed the Managing Happiness course so he could make an impact and, with feedback from participants, let his idea evolve.

The Epidemic of Stress

There is a tendency to want to keep up with the Jones’s. It’s ingrained in our culture that “living the American Dream” means having the big house, the top-of-the-line car, the jewelry for your wife, the latest toys for your kids. But many of those who are lucky enough to achieve this kind of success remain unhappy and don’t know why.

David Henzel says not to buy into what society or your parents think you need to be happy. Figure out what you want in life. Once you know, it’s easy to walk in the direction of your happiness.

A lot of people frantically climb the ladder of success.

David’s Two-Step Approach

David Henzel says happiness really does come from the inside. You can’t control what happens in your life, but you’re in full control of how you react to it. He uses these two simple guides to manage his happiness:

  1. Accept things, no matter how bad the situation is. Then you can react and plan your chess moves. Once you come to terms with reality, the noise in your head goes away. David suggests the Serenity Prayer, God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
  2. Practice gratitude. David has a gratitude rock that he keeps in his pocket all day. We tend to look at the biggest problem of the moment, which six months from now we won’t even remember. At the end of the day, we tend to remember the stressful parts instead of what went right. When we practice gratitude, we build up a gratitude muscle. Focus on the awesome stuff in your day, not the annoying things. You will realize there is so much to be grateful for.

The Managing Happiness Course

David Henzel admits that running a successful business while managing a great family life isn’t easy. Some would say you can’t have it all. But, by applying business principles to your family life, he can help you achieve happiness. That is why he is offering The Good Dad Project listeners 25% off his course.

Visit managinghappiness.com
and enter coupon code DAD when you check out.

 

MENTIONED EPISODE: Porn – Why We Watch It, When It’s a Problem, and How to Stop with Nell Daly


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

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David Henzel’s Links

davidhenzel.com

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David Henzel will be joining us for a live discussion
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