Becoming our best selves is a choice. We can choose to watch life pass us by, sleepwalking to our deathbeds full of regret. Or we can make the decision to take destiny into our own hands, leaving a distinct mark on the world.
Today we have former Navy SEAL Monty Heath on The Dad Edge Podcast. Monty made the choice to leave the Navy SEALs before getting married and starting his family. He talks about how keeping calm is the most effective and important way to operate in life. He reveals how closely he came to divorce and the choice he made to never quit on his marriage. Monty also discusses his approach to dad life and teaches us how we can keep cool and rational through the inevitable chaos of fatherhood.
“I want to raise kids who are better than me.”—Monty Heath
In 1993, Monty Heath became a U.S. Navy SEAL, completing one of his lifelong goals. He was fortunate enough to serve alongside America’s finest in Operations Enduring Freedom and Joint Forge. Monty credits SEAL Team Two and Red Squadron as adding significance to everything else he would do in life. During his service, Monty was twice awarded the Bronze star with combat Valor designation.
After eleven years of faithful service, Monty left the SEALS (admittedly one of the most difficult things he’s ever done) to start a family and change focus to the civilian sector. Through the years, he has lead a variety of successful military and civilian endeavors, including supervising the U.S. Navy’s SEAL mentorship program and BUD/S preparatory program. He has provided executive protection for several Forbes 400 individuals and their families. He is truly honored to be helping those he feels need and deserve it the most – America’s veterans and service members.
“Calm people are the best people.”—Monty Heath
What You’ll Learn
- Monty considered himself to be an immature warrior.
- The difference between approaching life with a subjective or objective mindset.
- Avoid conflict when one or both sides are emotional instead of logical.
- Monty’s advice to his younger self—You don’t have to classify and quantify everything in your sight. Mostly, people don’t want your unsolicited opinions and advice. If they did, they would ask you for it.
- Seek mentorship and knowledge. Sometimes you have to step into the thick of it to grow.
- Why Monty didn’t try to have kids until he felt he was ready
- In life, try to get “mission focus.” Keep your eyes on the future and the goal, and all the pieces of uncomfortableness are just hoops you need to jump through to get there.
- How to use empathy to help people in a heightened emotional state
- The emotion/logic seesaw—We cannot judge people for their visceral reactions. Meet them where they are in their feelings and validate them.
- Growing up in a dysfunctional family helped Monty in keeping calm through his experiences as a Navy SEAL.
- How Monty and his wife have beat the odds when it comes to their marriage after being on the brink of divorce many times.
- It’s a conscious decision to be married and monogamous.
- Monty believes life is about more than casual sex. It’s better to have a wife, friend, and partner.
- He credits his wife for putting up with his caveman antics for so long.
- Marriage—If you love each other, then it’s worth it.
- Choice—Tomorrow has nothing to do with today. You can choose to do something to make yourself better. Apply time, effort, and discipline.
- Anything worth doing is hard. If you’re out of your comfort zone, you’re doing it right.
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