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Personal Evolution Through Trauma with Stefanos Sifandos


How far have you evolved as a person? Are you still struggling with the same issues you’ve had all your life? Are you turning to vices to distract and soothe you? Do you avoid those hard conversations with people who are important to you?

Your relationship with yourself is the foundation of all other aspects of your life, and if you haven’t confronted your demons, you will never be able to take your personal evolution to the next level.

Stefanos Sifandos is a relational alchemist, international speaker, author and change-maker dedicated to helping men create a life of meaning and purpose.

Not long ago, he was egotistical, dishonest, unfaithful, and above all, scared. He discovered that unresolved trauma from his toxic father was unconsciously and destructively influencing his behavior.

Today, Stefanos shares his journey into the depth of pain, and how we can drill to the truth of ourselves to become completely integrated and self-reliant.

He also reveals 6 steps that we can take to process, heal, and expand from the wounds of the past.

“Unconsciously, I used my childhood—my trauma, my wounding—as an excuse to be an asshole.”—Stefanos Sifandos

Stefanos Sifandos

Stefanos is a trained educator and relationships expert with a background in behavioral science. He is passionate about leading people closer to their highest potential and each other.

Stefanos’ philosophy merges the best of eastern and western methodologies to promote spiritual balance and empower people in life and love. From trauma release to navigating the murky waters of modern masculinity, to helping women understand the men in their lives, he helps people escape negative patterns and cultivate a positive sense of self.

Stefanos has worked with thousands of men and women from all walks of life; special forces soldiers, Olympic gold medalists, elite fighters, and everyday people have relied on him to restructure and reframe their relationships with themselves and their loved ones.

What You’ll Learn

  • Stefanos had a tumultuous childhood with a physically and emotionally abusive father.
  • He witnessed his dad and mom have a volatile relationship.
  • His life growing up was full of uncertainty, judgement, control, and pressure.
  • Many of us suppress our childhood memories.
  • Hate, anger, and fear are constrictive. Feeling is freeing, and freedom allows us to expand.
  • How Stefanos grieved his childhood, learned to accept his father, and let go of who he expected him to be.
  • Taking responsibility for dealing with your trauma.
  • Stefanos was hyper-aggressive, arrogant, and egotistical.
  • His business fluctuated and he had volatile relationships.
  • How he became aware of his unhealthy patterns
  • How men can stay on the path of ignorance or become aware and choose a new path
  • How Stefanos used physical challenges to begin growing his self-worth
  • 4 years ago, Stefanos was cleaning toilets and sweeping floors because he didn’t want the commitment of a business.
  • How we use the dopamine from vices to suppress emotions.
  • Other tools men use to cope—avoidance, projecting, codependency, and blame
  • Stefanos says that he had to go through multiple ego deaths to get to where he is.
  • Why “the masculine wants to be empty”
  • The one thing a woman needs most from a man is trustworthiness.
  • We can’t be trustworthy if we don’t do what we say.
  • Why you must have guides and support when you decide to go within.
  • You won’t solve your issues with the same perspective as you developed them.
  • Feeling is your way through the pain.
  • The 6 Step Cyclical Process of Healing
    • Depth-feeling – getting inside your emotions
    • Grounding – pull yourself out, immerse yourself in nature
    • Release – journal, empty your head
    • Reprieve – self-care, healthy pleasure
    • Introspection – stillness and silence
    • Social – reconnecting with friends and loved ones and being seen, respected, and appreciated
  • Why you should talk face to face with your woman.
  • Our issues with other people have little to do with them. We must deepen the connection to ourselves.
  • Confidence is a gate to self-worth.
  • How to improve your confidence level
  • Care less about what people think and more about being true to yourself.

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Why Nice Guys Don’t Get Their Needs Met

No More Mr. Nice Guy with Dr. Robert Glover

 


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marriage tips

How to Argue and Other Marriage Tips with Zach Brittle


Today, we’re going to give you marriage tips that you can use to turn your marriage around or make it even better than it already is.

Many of us might say we have good marriages, but we don’t hear about a lot of great marriages that are full of happiness, connection, intimacy, and sexual desire. This is probably because most couples wait 6 years to seek help when they feel unhappy in their marriages, and by that time they’re often ready to give up.

Today we have Zach Brittle on The Dad Edge. He is a marriage counselor and the co-host of the Marriage Therapy Radio podcast. Zach is going to give us some marriage tips we’ve never heard before. We discuss the DNA of conflict, ingenious ways to navigate arguments, and how to break the same frustrating relational patterns. He also tells us how to create a marriage with absolutely no sexual rejection. All married men (and women) will benefit from the marriage tips in this episode!

 

 

RELATED EPISODES:

5 Rules for an Unshakable Marriage

Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage with Mort Fertel

One Extraordinary Marriage with Tony & Alisa DiLorenzo

 


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Zach Brittle

MarriageTherapyRadio.com

MarriageTherapyJournal.com

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Fixing Your Marriage

Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage with Mort Fertel

We think that if our marriages take work, something’s wrong. Our culture makes love out to be a mystery. We believe we have to be lucky in love to find a happy relationship.

Today, we are going to debunk that mindset. There is a methodology to fixing your marriage.

Mort Fertel is the creator of Marriage Fitness, the most successful marriage crisis program in the world. He tells us that marriage is not something that comes naturally. It’s something that must be, and can be, learned.

Mort reveals the elements that destroy a marriage and gives us the tools we need to take our parenting and relationship skills to the next level.

We also invite listeners to a 30-day challenge that will make effective relationship behaviors a solid habit. Get the secrets to fixing your marriage and more in this episode!

Marriage is like anything else in life—hitting a golf ball, shooting a jump shot, arguing a case in court, or performing an operation. If we can understand and practice, we are more likely to succeed.—Mort Fertel

Mort Fertel

Mort Fertel is the creator of Marriage Fitness, a relationship renewal system that’s been used by millions of people in marital crisis. In addition to his success with couples, he pioneered the “Lone Ranger Track,” which offers people with an obstinate spouse a path to reconciliation.

People from all over the world schedule private tele-sessions with Mort Fertel and seek his counsel by joining the Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp, the most comprehensive relationship home learning program in the world. Mort Fertel is the author of Marriage Fitness Audio Learning System and the host of the “Fix Your Marriage” podcast. Over 3 million people have subscribed to his free report “7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage.”

Mort Fertel is the subject of Back from the Brink, a documentary written and directed by Toroes Thomas, which chronicles people in marriage crisis.

Mort Fertel graduated from the University of Pennsylvania in 1987, was the CEO of an international non-profit organization, and a former marathon runner. He lives with his wife and 5 children (including triplets!) in Baltimore, Maryland.

We have to become experts at catching our spouse doing something right.—Mort Fertel

What You’ll Learn

  • Marriage and relationships work according to universal laws, like gravity.
  • Why people are resistant to get help when their marriage is in trouble
  • Why humility is the number one a quality you should look for in a partner
  • Three Cs that destroy a relationship, leading to the 4th C, cancer of the marriage:
    • Criticize
    • Condemn
    • Complain
  • How to discipline ourselves to not complain and criticize our spouses and children
  • How to express feelings and disappointment without condemning
  • Avoiding “You always… You never…” phrases
  • “The remember when…” technique to encourage more of what you want from your wife
  • How to set your wife up to be your hero
  • Highlight what she’s doing right.
  • Why we should never lie to our kids
  • How to parent our kids without being critical
  • A lack of self-esteem is the root of personal problems in adult life.
  • Punishment creates distance.
  • Connection is the most important thing in parenting.
  • It’s not possible to control a child, only to influence them.
  • Some moments with our kids are not teachable.
  • Sometimes the best thing for a parent to do is nothing.
  • When it comes to time with our kids, both quality AND quantity are important
  • Why we should let a child experience and see the natural consequences of their behavior
  • Always speak in a calm voice. Dignified people never yell.
  • The secret of practicing gratitude and appreciation in marriage.
  • Why we become numb to the qualities of our spouse that first attracted us
  • We pick out all the faults instead of what our spouse is doing right.
  • Being grateful and appreciative does not absolve our spouses from doing things we don’t like, but we should highlight and encourage the good.
  • Forming a new habit takes a tremendous amount of energy initially, but once we get momentum we keep going.
  • What it means to blend ourselves on the inside to stand out on the outside
  • Why we shouldn’t be flashy or behave in ways to try to attract attention to our external appearance.
  • Dress modestly to not make a statement and force people to get to know you inside.
  • Focus on becoming a tower of moral authority and a man of substantial character.
  • The ultimate fulfillment in life springs from character development, not physical and material accomplishments.
  • Gratitude, humbleness, discipline are the most important character traits.
  • The energy we spend on looking good on the outside should be spent reading, being introspective, and in prayer. Working on our flaws.
  • The quickest and easiest thing a guy can do to boost their marriage—catch your wife doing something right every day and make a big deal out of it.
  • The 30-day Challenge—add a reminder in your Google calendar every day to find something wonderful about your spouse and tell her.

MENTIONED EPISODES:

How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood


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Mort Fertel’s Links

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Breaking Free from Your Default Life with Matt Aitchison

Breaking Free from Your Default Life with Matt Aitchison


Are you leading a rich life? Or are you drifting without intention, just trying to make it through the day? If you think there is more for you than what you have now, this show is for you.

Wealth is our topic today. We’re not talking about the usual definition of wealth, but what it means to you. To some people, having a happy, healthy family is wealth. To others, it’s freedom. To many, it’s the sports cars and big houses. But it doesn’t matter what your dream life is if you’re not thinking and acting in a way that gets you results.

Today’s guest is Matt Aitchison. He is the creator of The Rich Life Academy and host of the Millionaire Mindcast. “Matty A” is here to talk about breaking free from your default setting by auditing every aspect of your life and reengineering it so that you will exceed beyond the present identity you have for yourself.

We as human beings will never exceed or excel beyond the identity we have for ourselves.

Matt Aitchison and The Rich Life Academy

Matt Aitchison is a millennial entrepreneur, a 7-figure real estate investor, speaker and avid adventurist. Most importantly he is a proud husband and father to two beautiful girls who make his live a whole lot richer.

After some huge mistakes early in his life, Matt was determined to change his trajectory. He always dreamed of living a big life. He wanted to be financially free, make a difference in peoples’ lives, travel frequently, and have a bunch of fun while doing it all.

He decided that entrepreneurship would be his vehicle to unlock the life he always dreamed of. Now he is passionate about helping people design an intentional way of living that creates abundance and wealth, whatever that means to the individual.

If you identify yourself as a grinder, that’s all you’ll ever be.

What You’ll Learn

  • What are the main drivers for the pursuit of wealth
  • The amount of mental real estate worrying about financial security takes up
  • What holds most men back from taking time to step into a better life
  • How we mistake movement for achievement
  • Why a lack of clarity keeps men stuck in a default life
  • How to make a detailed vision of your future and reverse engineer your path to success by breaking it down into smaller goals
  • How to make sure you’re not opting in to things by default
  • Protecting your time as a parent
  • Why some men are proud of being miserable
  • How hoarding responsibility puts a strain on your relationships and keeps you stuck
  • Asking yourself the right questions
  • How to start on your dreams when you feel like you have no time
  • The R.I.C.H. Life Audit
    • R–relationships, personal and professional
    • I–income and investment
    • C–community and contribution
    • H–health: mental, physical, and spiritual
  • How to redesign your ecosystem of friends and mentors
  • How to do a time audit of your weekly activity
  • How “busy” is the new “lazy”
  • Why we get distracted and overwhelmed and flow into things that do not serve us
  • How to play the game of life at a higher level
  • The smart, small choices you can make every day that will add up over time

Don’t confuse your current circumstance with who can become and what you can achieve.


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A Wife's Thoughts on The Dad Edge Alliance and Summit

A Wife’s Thoughts on The Dad Edge Alliance and Summit

Today is a first. We not only have a longtime Dad Edge Alliance member on Thursday Throwdown, we have his wife! If you have been thinking about joining The Dad Edge Alliance or attending our Dad Edge Summit this summer, but are wondering how your wife will feel about the idea, this interview with Javier and Suzanne will show you what happens when a man finds his tribe.

Javier and Suzanne have been together for 14 years and are parents. They had a fairy tale beginning, but once real life kicked in, intense fights and break ups left open wounds. Javier opens up about his struggles as a man. He tells us how The Dad Edge Alliance helped him grow and how the Dad Edge Summit catalyzed all he had learned into a clear vision for the future.

His wife, Suzanne, gets real about the marriage problems they had and how beneficial The Dad Edge Alliance and Dad Edge Summit have been to their relationship as a couple and a family.

Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

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Resources

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==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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June 5th – 8th 2019

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