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confident mentally tough daughters

How to Raise Confident, Mentally Tough Daughters with Emily McCarthy


What kind of father do we need to be to raise girls into strong, empathetic, and emotionally resilient women? Today’s show is all about how to raise confident, mentally tough daughters.

Emily McCarthy is a former case officer for the CIA and the cofounder of GORUCK, a brand with Special Forces roots that leads backpacking events all over the world.

Emily lost her father when she was just getting out of college. It was a devastating blow, but the foundation he laid will echo for generations.

Emily talks about how her dad gamified safety and defense so she would always be ready to protect herself and others. She also talks about the many ways her father showed up in her life that made her into the incredible woman she is today.

Emily’s story is proof of the ripple effect a father leaves on his children’s lives, even if his time is cut short. Don’t miss this moving episode.

My father was a big part of my life because he showed up.

How to Raise Confident, Mentally Tough Daughters

  • What it was like for Emily to witness her father dying
  • The void left by the pillar of the family
  • In the wake of his death, she traveled the world as a language teacher.
  • How Emily’s father taught her and her brother important lessons veiled in fun activities
  • How her dad showed them to protect themselves through the gamification of safety and defense
  • How Emily’s father expected her to protect her brother and anyone who needed help
  • The many large and small ways her dad showed up for her
  • Emily’s father technique to train her “not to be a wuss”
  • How Emily’s father’s lessons helped her through bullying
  • How to instill healthy fear in your children
  • If you shelter a child too much, they will not have the healthy fear to protect themselves.
  • The unusual relationship between her and her husband/GORUCK cofounder, Jason
  • How once, in 5 years of their marriage, they never lived together
  • Her experience as a case officer for the CIA post-911
  • The happy accident of the GORUCK idea
  • How GORUCK events make people excited about life and bring about a sense of community
  • The benefits of GORUCK Events for parents and kids
  • How kids in a group setting self-correct­­–”the village teaches”
  • Rucking is just like life–you don’t know what to expect.
  • How Emily sees her father in her children, even though they never met him.

RELATED EPISODES:

How to Protect Your Daughter Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally with Warren Petersen

Being a Coach, a Dad, and Raising Strong Daughters with Bret Johnson

Raising Kids with the Dichotomy of Leadership with Jocko Willink

Emily McCarthy’s Links

gooddadproject.com/goruck

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raise strong girls

How to Raise Strong, Confident, Resilient Girls with Bas Rutten

Bas Rutten is retired UFC Heavyweight Champion and three-time King of Pancrase world champion. He’s a regular on TV, has also appeared in movies, and even makes a cameo in the Grand Theft Auto video game.

It’s hard to believe that Bas Rutten, also known as “El Guapo” or The Handsome One, suffered extreme eczema and asthma during his childhood. He was bullied on a regular basis in his native country of Holland. One day when he was on vacation with his family in France, he snuck into the movie theatre to see Enter the Dragon. Bas knew that if he became like Bruce Lee, the bullying would stop. This sparked a passion for martial arts that took him through a glorious career and taught him many life lessons he would pass on to his three daughters.

How to raise strong girls

Learn to say “no”

Bas admits to being a sucker for the sad look he gets from his girls when he refuses to give into them. But it’s important to put your foot down. If they know they can influence you early on, they will never take you seriously in the future. Bas’s parents instilled good morals and work ethic in him. If he wanted something, he had to work for it and started delivering newspapers and washing dishes at a very young age. He has done this with his daughters as well.

Don’t lose your girls to social media

In this world of Instagram and Snapchat, it can be challenging to get your daughters’ attention. Bas Rutten says that it is important to connect with your daughters on social media. This might seem daunting for those of us who didn’t grow up with social media, but Bas says fathers must evolve with technology so they are fully aware of what is going on.

Bas also knows that being obsessed with social media diminishes the present moment. When you’re taking a video of the moment instead of absorbing it with all your senses, you don’t experience it fully. You’re not likely to watch the video again anyway, so he teaches his family to put the phone down and disconnect.

Be consistent

If you give your daughters multiple warnings and they still fail to meet their obligations, you must follow through with the punishment you decided on. Bas recalls one time when he warned his daughter that if she didn’t finish her homework, he wouldn’t allow her to go to prom. She didn’t finish her homework, and even though it broke his heart to do it, he stood his ground and did not allow her to go to prom. It wasn’t an easy lesson, but it changed everything. Bas says, “If they don’t take you seriously, they won’t take life seriously.”

Teach them to speak up

Girls are taught to be quite and submissive. “If you set yourself up for being bullied, you’ll get it,” Bas says. The best way to teach daughters to be strong is to show them how to project confidence. If someone speaks the them or treats them the wrong way, teach your daughters to speak up. They must say something right away before others think they can get away with treating them that way.

He also says girls need to stand their ground when it comes to relationships. They should project what they expect, maintain their independence, and not cave into their partner’s wishes all the time. It’s important for them to establish this behavior from the beginning so that they don’t become the weak person in the relationship.

Have fun with life

Although Bas struggle with his health problems throughout his childhood, he didn’t feel sorry for himself. It actually made him more optimistic because he knew there were people even worse off than him. He also developed a great sense of humor to cope with and compensate for the ostracization he suffered from his peers. Bas considers his childhood curses a blessing. His experiences shaped him and after the challenges he faced as a kid, his life is easy now. He feels it’s important for daughters to be strong and disciplined, but it’s also important to remember to have fun. Life goes by quickly and no one knows how much time we have.

Bas Rutten’s Parting Piece of Dad Wisdom

Bas recalls how he surprised his daughter with a puppy by coming up with an elaborate trick. A small effort and a little ingenuity on his part created and unforgettable memory for her. Make memories with your kids. Do a little more to make an impact.


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

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Bas Rutten’s links

BasRutten.com

O2Trainer.com

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