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Stop Being the “Nice Guy” with Dr. Robert Glover

Many of us take pride in being the “nice guy.” But could being the nice guy be ruining our lives?

We are all probably guilty of Nice Guy Syndrome on some level. We sometimes give only to receive in a passive attempt to get what we want without directly asking for it. We avoid conflict to get the acceptance, validation, approval, and even the sex that we need. Some of us might not even realize we suffer from Nice Guy Syndrome and wonder why we are anxious and unhappy.

Dr. Robert Glover is back on The Dad Edge for a discussion we all need to hear. He talks about how to stop being dependent on external things for our happiness. He shows us how to reclaim our identities after losing ourselves in relationships. He also explains why we need to get comfortable with our existential fears to become empowered men.

Stop being a nice guy and start living true to yourself!

If you have to give up anything that’s important to you to be in a relationship, it’s going to create a toxic environment.

Dr. Robert Glover

Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan For Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life. Dr. Glover is an internationally recognized authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome. He is a frequent guest on radio talk shows and has been featured in numerous local and national publications. As a result of his work, Dr. Glover has helped thousands of Nice Guys transform from being passive, resentful victims to empowered, integrated males. Along with these personal changes have come similar transformations in these men’s professional careers and intimate relationships. Dr. Glover is the creator of Dating Essentials for Men, the director of TPI University, and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of Washington. Dr. Glover divides his year between Bellevue, WA and Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

What You’ll Learn

  • Nice Guy Syndrome, at its core, is codependency.
  • Borrowed functioning means your wellbeing depends on the happiness of those around you.
  • It’s an anxiety and shame-based disorder. You manage people and situations to avoid anxiety or feelings of worthlessness.
  • Losing ourselves in relationships is not healthy, even though we’ve been taught that it’s noble to throw ourselves on the sword for our wives and kids.
  • The difference between fusion and differentiation
  • What most of us call “intimacy” is losing ourselves in another person so much that there is no distinct otherness anymore.
  • Fusion kills sexual passion.
  • The “Alpha Male” in human society who takes all is a myth. Things (including women) were shared.
  • Marriage emerged much more recently with the patriarchy.
  • Up until 100 years ago, marriage was an economical arrangement. Romantic love is a new idea.
  • Pair bonding in modern times doesn’t work well for happiness.
  • What you can count on in a relationship is that your childhood baggage is going to reveal itself.
  • Tension is healthy. Anytime there is tension, there is growth.
  • It used to take a whole tribe to meet our needs. Expecting one person to fulfill all our needs is impossible and unfair.
  • Differentiation is two complete adults who choose to be together.
  • If we are acting as an independent person, we are more attractive to the opposite sex.
  • Almost no one is sexually monogamous, even if they aren’t physically cheating on their spouse.
  • Men give up control in their marriage and then get resentful. Then we sneak around to get our needs met.
  • Friends are often the first thing men sacrifice.
  • Angst from being disconnection from our tribe
  • It’s human nature to try to find connection because we’re afraid of disappearing into nothingness. Practice getting comfortable with existential fears to be more self-reliant.
  • Men load up their to-do lists, don’t get everything done, go to bed stressed, and wake up the next day with even more to do. If we stay busy, we don’t have to feel anything.
  • Learn to be with stillness.
  • Schedule unscheduled time. Build chunks of time into your day for unscheduled things and things that matter.
  • Appreciate life right now. Today is the best day of your life.

 

RELATED EPISODES:

Love Languages and Other Marriage Tips for the Pandemic with Gary Chapman

No More Mr. Nice Guy with Dr. Robert Glover

Why Nice Guys Don’t Get Their Needs Met

 


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how to motivate

How to Motivate the Unmotivated with Matt Granados


Most of us want to accomplish many things in life. We know we need to take action to improve our health, relationships, finances, and careers. But we wake up every morning without the motivation. Today’s guest is the expert on how to motivate the unmotivated.

Matt Granados is speaker, coach, and the author of Motivate the Unmotivated: A proven system for sustainable motivation. He reveals the difference between motivated and unmotivated people. He talks about how motivation is not a character trait, but a state of mind. He also tells us how we can strengthen the connection between actions and outcomes to motivate ourselves and others, including our kids.

Get ready to systemize motivation and finally make things happen!

Being motivated is not a character trait, it’s a state of mind.

Matt Granados

Over the last decade, Matt has tested, developed and helped thousands of others implement an effective and easy to duplicate system that will help you build an unbreakable foundation for your life as well as motivate even the most unmotivated individuals in your life.

These techniques in versions such as keynotes, workshops, and individual coaching have been taught and implemented in organizations of all industries and sizes. From Google Headquarters and Twitter to the United States Airforce and professional organizations all around the world. Matt has been able to teach these systems to thousands of individuals along with his team at Life Pulse, Inc.

With over 10 years and 10,000 hours of studying, using, and teaching these concepts, Matt is considered to be an expert on teaching individuals how to build an unbreakable foundation for themselves as well as their organization, along with how to properly manage motivation.

Matt is happily married to his wife and business partner (Maria) with two amazing kids (Natalie & Zach). The drive behind Matt is his obsession to make sure no person’s potential is wasted and that each person he comes in contact with, if they want, is able to experience their maximum level of success.

Motivate the Unmotivated: A proven system for sustainable motivation

Finally, a book that gives you applicable, implementable techniques for how to boost motivation in all areas of your life—as well as the lives of others. You know “what” you should do in order to motivate yourself and others. So why don’t you do it? No one has ever systemized the “How” to what you already know you should do. This book does!

What You’ll Learn

  • How to stop starting over
  • Why are some people motivated while others are not?
  • The difference between fear-based motivation and love-based motivation
  • Why you should never make your kids the butt of a joke
  • Allow your kids to fail and learn.
  • The dad is not supposed to be a friend to his kids. He is there to provide, protect, and prepare.
  • Matt’s journey with his daughter’s extremely rare genetic disorder
  • A happy family is not an accident. It’s intentional work.
  • Men try to fix problems instead of dealing with them.
  • Most guys would say that they are the emotionally stable one in their relationships, but the reality is that they are emotionally suppressed.
  • When you don’t handle your emotions, they’re going to make their way out as anger, pornography, drugs, or some other vice.
  • If you can’t learn to process your emotions, how can you expect to lead your family through their difficult feelings?
  • Don’t try to fix your weaknesses. Manage weaknesses and leverage strengths. This applies to helping your kids too.
  • How you can use video games like Fortnite to motivate your children
  • PVTT (Personal Value Tied to Task) is fundamental to motivation.
  • If you understand the value of what you’re doing, staying motivated is easy.
  • Balancing the 4 Vital Signs of Fulfillment–internal, relational, physical, and professional. When you balance these properly, it’s easy to walk through life.
  • If you’re not motivated enough as a dad, it’s because you don’t see the value in it.
  • Action=Outcome. Keep action and outcome connected so the steps you take now make sense.
  • Everyone has 1 of 3 motivational catalysts.
  • When you catch yourself falling back into a bad habit, instead of feeling shameful, be grateful that you caught yourself.
  • Gratitude reveals growth. In a grateful state, you will always see opportunity.
  • Don’t do anything that is not important. Ask yourself, what’s the value to you for taking this action?
  • Don’t use motivation to manipulate. Help others get what they want in order to get what you want.
  • Get Matt’s PODGIFT! 

MENTIONED EPISODES

Start Reaching Your Goals with an Accountability Partner

How to Fix Your Unhappy Marriage with Seth and Melanie Studley


Protect your kids with the Bark App

cyberbullying

sexual content

suicidal ideation

online predators


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Matt Granados’s Links

LivePulseInc PODGIFT (Free Stuff)!

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dad life overhaul

The Dad Life Overhaul


This one’s for the guy who is miserable with his life. Maybe your marriage isn’t working, you feel stuck in your job, and you can’t remember who you are anymore. Something’s got to give, but you don’t know what to do to make things change.

Craig Mills used to be miserable. He got into his profession by default, thinking it was what he was supposed to do. He neglected his needs and desires to accommodate an unhappy marriage. He lived an empty life and felt like a shell of a human being.

Today, Craig is blissfully remarried with a stepdaughter and a baby. He’s excited about life and has found the work that makes him comes alive.

How did he make this complete dad life overhaul? Don’t waste another minute being miserable. Listen in!

What You’ll Learn

  • Craig endured an acne problem growing up that traumatized him.
  • He didn’t feel deserving of love or that he belonged with people.
  • He lost his identity trying to please his first wife, but he doesn’t consider his first marriage a waste.
  • Craig knew there was more out there for him. His life needed an overhaul.
  • Follow your energy to the life you’re drawn to.
  • Stop and seriously think about what’s God’s purpose for you?
  • Craig spent two summers in a row “couch surfing” on strangers’ couches.
  • How to live your life without fear
  • Go a little outside of comfortable every single day.
  • What it is like taking on a stepchild
  • Having confidence in your ability to father
  • Our huge impact as dads
  • How a husband and wife develop each other
  • Become a better person for your spouse. Show her the kind of man you are.
  • How he and his wife play naked tag!

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Get Lit: Forget the Pressure to Find Your Why with Dominick Quartuccio

 


Protect your kids with the Bark App

cyberbullying

sexual content

suicidal ideation

online predators


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If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

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Craig Mill’s Links

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Inadequacy, Insecurity, and Imposter Syndrome

Inadequacy, Insecurity, and Imposter Syndrome with Mike Kitko


Do you feel the need to be perfect, and at the same time, think you’ll never be good enough? As a man, husband, and father, are you plagued by deep-rooted feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, leaving you terrified that people will find out you have no idea what you’re doing? That’s your imposter in charge and he’s preventing you from living as who you really are.

Mike Kitko is an Executive Self-Mastery Coach, speaker, and author. After a colossal career and personal meltdown, he found his true purpose—inspiring leaders to find the power in their authenticity, purpose, and passion.

Today, Mike Kitko talks about how inadequacy, insecurity, and imposter syndrome ruled his life. He teaches us how to cultivate self-awareness and diffuse the imposter before it sabotages us. He also tells us how to stop running from fear and start chasing our purpose so we can provide a loving, safe, and prosperous environment for our families.

Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? How do you defeat the imposter in charge? Find out in this episode!

Mike Kitko

A Marine with an MBA, Mike has decades of experience in leadership roles for Fortune 500 companies, yet he always felt like an imposter. His outward persona was one of strength and wealth, yet he struggled internally with self-confidence and self-fulfillment. His inability to understand his emotions led him to alcoholism, uncontrolled anger, and ballistic rage. He abused his marriage, family, professional career, and health.

Through coaching, intense study, and deep work, Mike learned to embrace self-doubt and care for his body, mind, emotions, and soul with self-mastery. Now Mikes overflowing energy, clarity, and love inspires souls. With an infectious zest for life, internal power, and inward confidence that matches how people perceive him externally, Mike has turned his life around. And he wants to help you to do the same.

If you can’t feel it, you can’t heal it, and if you can’t heal it, you can’t be you.—Mike Kitko

The Imposter in Charge

Life’s good, right? You’ve got the high-paying job, the car, the home, the family–so why do you feel so incomplete?

Maybe your ego is bursting at the seams and you can’t show yourself for who you really are. Perhaps you have no boundaries and you pour yourself into others–their problems, their pressures, their pleasures–at the expense of yourself and your own family. You might think you need to be perfect but are acutely aware that you’re not good enough. Could it be that deep-down you feel inadequate, incapable, and like a fraud?

You don’t have to live like that. The Imposter in Charge is the vulnerable and raw account of Mike Kitko’s journey from being an overweight, overstressed, overachieving alcoholic business executive who was on the brink of divorce, to a life of authenticity, courage, confidence, and clarity. This transparent account offers a then-to-now experience, as well as practical applications and practices to help you break out of the imposter syndrome yourself–once and for all.

What You’ll Learn

  • Men learn from a very young age to not be real, vulnerable, and or have emotions.
  • When we wear a mask and shrink, we can’t really feel human.
  • What it means when everything you thought would bring you happiness doesn’t.
  • How the world loves you exactly the way you are. When you realize that, things start to change
  • Mike used to be over 300 pounds and an alcoholic.
  • When Mike figured out that he had nothing figured out
  • When Mike quit drinking, he lost who he thought were friends, but then real people showed up.
  • How Mike made the bold move to leave his corporate job and create his coaching business.
  • How he fell head over heels in love with his wife again after their marriage was nearly destroyed.
  • Perfection is impossible
  • Emotions are going to make us behave badly.
  • Accept that on the journey of improvement, you’re going to stumble,
  • Why you must surrender to the natural feeling of inadequacy and insecurity.
  • What is a critical purpose decision?
  • 90% of people are running away from fear. 10% are chasing purpose.
  • We’re not here to survive, play small, provide and buy more stuff.
  • You don’t have to sacrifice yourself to have a lucrative business.
  • Your desires are your gateway to understanding what purpose you serve.
  • How men can find their true purpose and make sure they’re not chasing someone else’s purpose.
  • Lack of self-awareness drives the imposter syndrome.
  • The importance of knowing your talents and weaknesses.
  • Getting and staying in your “zone of genius” as much as possible
  • Clarity is a creative force.
  • His mission is to move men from survivorship to leadership
    • Yourself
    • Society
    • Family
  • We can’t provide a safe prosperous loving environment for our families if we are not living authentically.
  • Love = Letting Others Voluntarily Evolve
  • How we’re inadvertently telling our kids their choices aren’t good enough.
  • We’re not here to help our kids avoid mistakes, but to help them make choices after they understand the consequences.

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The Smart Way to Keep Kids Safer Online

Bark’s affordable, award-winning dashboard proactively monitors
text messages, YouTube, emails, and 24 different social networks
for potential safety concerns,
so busy parents can save time and gain peace of mind.

CLICK HERE TO GET BARK
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Mike Kitko’s Links

mikekitko.com

Facebook

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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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zach bush

Unlocking Your Intrinsic Health with Zach Bush MD


Are you not showing up in your life as energized as you want to be? Are you weighed down emotionally and physically for no particular reason? Are you overwhelmed, feeling like a million things are sapping your energy?

Today’s guest is Dr. Zach Bush. His mission is to apply the rigor of science, strength of humanity and the intelligence of nature to transform our health and our world.

Zach explains our body’s close relationship to the Earth and how we can unlock its intrinsic ability to heal. He also talks about why we need to get rid of our to do lists, allow space to happen, and change our identities as men and providers.

This interview is full of revolutionary ideas that will forever change your perception of the world and your place in it. There is a lot to absorb here. Put this episode on repeat!

“You have to have a more complex relationship with your child than just being their guide rails.”—Zach Bush, MD

Zach Bush, MD

Zach Bush, MD is one of the few triple board-certified physicians in the country – with expertise in Internal Medicine, Endocrinology and Metabolism, and Hospice/Palliative care. The breakthrough science that Dr. Bush and his colleagues have delivered offer profound new insights into human health and longevity. His education efforts provide a grassroots foundation from which we can launch change in our legislative decisions, ultimately up- shifting consumer behavior to bring about radical change in the mega industries of big farming, big pharma, and Western Medicine at large.

“My destiny into my full potential is fully in my hands.”—Zach Bush, MD

What You’ll Learn

  • Zach’s beginnings in auto mechanics, landscaping, and construction
  • His life-changing experience helping midwives in the Phillipines
  • How he was guided to the doctor’s path
  • Why he excelled in medical school when in the past he was a bad student
  • His desire to be a dad early in life, starting a family at the age of twenty-five
  • His 20-year marriage to a woman he knew since childhood
  • How after twenty years of marriage, Zach’s wife left to start over in life with another man
  • Zach’s times of turmoil during the dissolution of the relationship
  • How he triumphed through it by letting go of what he thought should be and helping his wife and her new partner
  • The innate wisdom kids possess
  • Zach believes his job as a father is to create space for his children and not try to shape their paths.
  • When we’re feeling broken is the time when we’re most fertile for change.
  • Why Zach doesn’t check off a to do list anymore
  • Zach’s advice to men in turmoil
  • Letting go of the identities, titles, and roles that limit you
  • How to drill down to your core self
  • Why fathers must stop seeing themselves as providers and fixers
  • You don’t have to fulfill all your spouse’s and kids’ needs, because you can’t.
  • Modern science, biology, and physics suggests that the source of energy is within us
  • Detaching from identities built around health diagnoses
  • How identifying yourself as a resilient person will keep a cycle of trauma in your life
  • If you haven’t experienced a transformation in 7 years, you’re stagnant.
  • How many of our decisions are based on things that happened years ago.
  • Just how destructive the scarcity mindset is
  • Excusing your parents for their shortcomings and mistakes
  • Living below your means to achieve freedom
  • Why you should stop focusing on putting your kids through college
  • Why “I’m proud of you” is a subtly destructive form of praise
  • Intrinsic health—we already have everything we need to heal and be healthy
  • How the microbiome facilitates communication between cells
  • The connection between your microbiome and your self-identity
  • The toxicity of glyphosate
  • Getting the bottle of Round Up out of your garage
  • Getting into a co-creative relationship with Earth instead of being exploitive.
  • What Zach Bush is most excited about for the future.

 

RELATED EPISODES

How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood

Anxiety, Depression, and Your Gut

Optimum Gut Health for You and Your Kids with Dr. Adrian Chavez


MUSHROOM COFFEE?

WHO COMES UP WITH THIS SHIIT(AKE)?

Foursigmatic
Superfood Mushroom Beverages

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ION Biome Shop

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