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alter ego effect todd herman

The Alter Ego Effect with Todd Herman

There is only one person keeping you from reaching your full potential, and that is you. Today we’re going to reveal an extraordinary way to bypass fear, doubt, and limiting beliefs by creating heroic alter egos.

Todd Herman is a high-performance coach and the author of The Alter Ego Effect: The Power of Secret Identities to Transform Your Life. He is going to teach us why alter egos work, how to create them for different aspects of our lives, and how to activate them to help us become effective businessmen, intentional husbands, and patient and present fathers.

Todd Herman’s tools, insights, and philosophy will blow your mind. Prepare to discover the power of your secret identity!

'When you change someone at the identity level, all the habits, behavior, and beliefs change along with it.'— @Todd_Herman #performance #limitingbeliefs #alterego Click To Tweet

Todd Herman

Todd Herman is an author, performance advisor, and entrepreneur. For 22 years, his training company, Herman Performance Systems, has focused on helping achievers and ambitious people in sport & business, achieve wildly outrageous goals while enjoying the process. Originally from Alberta, Canada where he grew up on a large farm and ranch, where he developed a healthy dislike of chicken coops.

His company has a suite of programs serving Olympic athletes, Entrepreneurs, and Leaders. He’s been featured on the Today Show, Sky Business News, Inc Magazine and CBC National News.

He lives in New York City with his wife and three young children and is currently the worlds worst ukulele player.

'Mental toughness is ability to be adaptable and flexible despite what your circumstances are giving you right now.'— @Todd_Herman #mentaltoughness #resilience #motivation Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • How Todd got started with the alter ego idea
  • Todd’s beginnings as a high-performance coach
  • His time as a nationally ranked badminton player
  • Why kids should learn to play both a team sport and an individual sport
  • What he learned from coaching Olympians
  • The gold thread that connected all the highest performers
  • How he developed a process and system to create an alter ego that helps people win. Todd has built alter egos for professional athletes in all sports around the world.
  • The constant self-bullying we do to ourselves
  • Why humans are conditioned to notice the negative
  • How this primitive negativity has shifted to social dynamics in the modern world
  • The superpower of your inner personal narrative
  • Your negative self-talk is not you and is a sign to break through
  • How he changed his identity to become a more romantic, affectionate, and vulnerable husband
  • How humans can shapeshift
  • Why there is no you
  • How humans create our world and ourselves through language
  • Is there another version of you inside? How do you find it?
  • Why everyone should be taking lessons from nature. If you’re not growing, you’re dying.
  • The folly of pursuing balance and why we must pursue integration instead
  • Why as soon as Todd’s kids turn two, he has them become part of his business and speak on stage
  • What could be possible for you if you stopped acting in the “youness” that is you
  • Role-playing different versions of yourself
  • Leveraging moments of impact
  • What he learned from Stan Lee about the power of enthusiasm
  • How to infuse your home with a different energy and change the trajectory of time you spend with your family
  • Creating windows of possibility
  • The destructiveness of the old “tough day at work” mentality
  • How 80% of the one-on-one time with your child is gone by the time they are twelve
  • 3 questions to ask your kid at night to finish the day strong
  • The chasm of despair that opens when you look at how far you need to go instead of on how far you’ve come
  • Affirming your kids’ effort to cultivate a growth mindset
  • How to activate the alter ego you want to use with a totem
  • Breaking the chain of what people expect from you
  • How to create a dad-self that is masculine yet soft and caring

MENTIONED EPISODE:

3 Questions to Ask Your Kid Every Night


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overcoming adversity

How Overcoming Adversity Can Make You a Better Dad with Nick Dinardo

Nick Dinardo draws on adversity to inform and inspire his life as a podcaster, personal performance coach, author, and dad.

Nick Dinardo is an entrepreneur, a consultant, and a public speaker who focuses on resilience, personal growth, and education. Nick is the author of bestselling book The Game of Adversity: 8 Practices to Turn Life’s Toughest Moments into Your Greatest Opportunities. He is also the host of The Sweet Adversity Podcast and has interviewed hundreds of experts on overcoming adversity, dealing with trauma and stress, and the critical role it plays in our cognitive development.

Nick has dealt with adversity his entire life. At the age of seven, his family went from the American dream to a foreclosed home, divorce, and mental illness. He spent a year sleeping on the floor in a one room apartment where his family shared a kitchen with seventeen other families.

Nick had a great dad, but was angry at his father for not understanding his mom and her mental illness. He still hoped and dreamed his parents would fall in love again, but that never happened. They moved from place to place until his mom got her life back together. During this disruptive time, Nick turned to sports for role models of those who went through hard times and still became great, successful people.

Sports is a microcosm of life

Nick Dinardo’s book, The Game of Adversity, uses sports as a Trojan horse to explore the psychological aspects of adversity and how high performers focus on process, not outcome. Coaches like John Wooden and Bill Belichick implemented this idea in their methods. Wooden made his players adhere to a very strict routine and told them not to think about basketball outside of practice. Belichick didn’t care about the score so much as he did about the team and their cognitive skill development. If the players prepared through the process, the win would come without consciously focusing on the goal.

Focusing on goals can make us unhappy

Goals are anti-presence because you’re focused on the end instead of what’s going on right in front of you. You can’t enjoy the moment because you’re always looking to the future, but you can establish a new norm for yourself and stop waiting till you reach any of your goals to be happy.

We have a choice

Men have evolved to be very results-focused, and we feel like a failure when we don’t achieve our goals. This creates stress and our response effects our cortisol levels, which effects our sleep and the function of our bodies. It triggers a chain reaction that goes all the way into how we treat people and how we approach our day.

Fighting our natural instincts to relentlessly push for our goals is tough, but when faced with a stressful situation, we can actually train ourselves how to respond in a positive proactive way instead of a negative reactive way.

Kids overcoming adversity

Nick says what’s important for kids to overcome extreme adversity is a positive relationship with one adult. Despite the hardship his family went through when he was young, he had a solid social circle of caring adults that acted as a foundation of strength.

Dad wisdom after a childhood of adversity

Nick Dinardo is the new dad of a 5-month-old boy. When Nick thinks about the things his father did for him, one thing stands out. It comes down to love. He remembers his dad always gave him hugs in kisses, even in front of his friends. His dad always told him he loved him multiple times a day. Nick says not to worry about the parenting books and the latest trends. When it comes to being a good dad, all things fall into place from love.

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sports performance anxiety

4 Fundamental Strategies to Alleviate Sports Performance Anxiety – GDP014

“4 Fundamental Strategies to Alleviate Sports Performance Anxiety in Our Kids” Episode Overview:

Larry Hagner and Shawn Stevenson talk about 4 fundamental strategies to help our kids get the most out of sporting events. At times, it can be challenging as parents to know exactly how to help bring the best out in our child when they are competing. Shawn and Larry not only offer four strategies to help Dads, but also share some of their own stories and experiences.

Key Take-Aways

  • Focus on progress and not necessarily the results

  • Be extremely mindful of your words when giving feedback about sports performance

  • When it comes to sports performance expectations, don’t set the bar too high

  • Ways to talk to our kids after a sporting event

Progress vs. Results

At times, we can be so focused on the ultimate result of winning vs. the level of improvement. When it comes to sports performance anxiety, we can help alleviate stress by giving our kids techniques to improve it.

For example, instead of telling our kids to “hit the baseball”, we can help them work on their stance or the speed of their swing. Giving kids these small steps for improvement will vastly improve their enjoyment of competing in sports. After all, it’s not whether our kids win or lose. The main objective is to ensure our kids enjoy themselves and learn to improve.

Be Mindful of Your Word Choice When Giving Feedback

Kids hang on every word we say when it comes to critical feedback. Some of the word choices we use sound extremely positive and supportive from our point of view. However, they can have the opposite effect on our kids. As a result, our word choice and feedback can actually increase sports performance anxiety.

For example, the statement “Let’s make sure we go 3 for 3 today!” can sound uplifting to us. However, for some kids, this can create a great deal of pressure and anxiety. Keep in mind, pressure and anxiety at a young age can be the opposite of fun.

Setting the Bar Too High

Youth athletics is meant to be fun and competitive. For the most part, there is a very small percentage of kids who will go on to the professional level. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of expecting our kids to perform at the top level each and every time. Just like us, they will have bad days. Even the best youth athletes (and professionals, for that matter) have bad performances from time to time. The main focus of each and every event is simply to ensure your little athlete tried their very best and enjoyed themselves.

Conversation in the Car Ride Home Will Be Forever Remembered

For the past two years, I have had the privilege of hosting “Dad Workshops” to help other dads be their best. I have had several conversations with other dads who talk about memories of “the dreaded ride home after a game.” In other words, if the performance was not ideal, the conversation was not a good one. Moreover, the conversation would forever become a memory that was less than optimal.

The car ride home is a perfect opportunity to mention all the positive things you noticed about the game regardless if the performance was good or bad. Asking questions like:

  • What was your favorite part of the game?

  • What position did you enjoy playing the most?

  • What part was the most fun?

Questions like these bring our kids into a positive conversation about the highlights of the game. Ultimately, it will help alleviate sports performance anxiety and bring the fun back into sports performance.

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