Posts

How to Improve Patience Drastically Even on Your Worst Day – GDP013

“How to Improve Patience Drastically Even on Your Worst Day” Episode Overview

I have had the privilege of working with hundreds of Dads over the past 2 years since I have started The GDP. Specifically, I have done several “Dad Workshops” over the past two years.  The Dad Workshops are all about implementing 5 strategies in our lives to help us enjoy the journey of fatherhood. There is always one really important trait that almost all men wish they had more of: ”patience.”

Key Take-Aways

In this episode, Shawn and I go over:

  • Internal and External Factors that can have a devastating effect on our level of patience

  • How to recognize our queues during the day where we have the least amount of patience

  • Ultimately, strategies that will improve patience no matter what challenge you face

How to Improve Patience by Recognizing External and Internal Challenges

External factors are literally anything and everything that happen outside our own minds. Meaning, there are several challenges that anyone of us can face on a daily basis that are outside of our control that can wreak havoc on our level of patience. These external factors can be: disciplinary stress/challenges with our kids, unsatisfactory job, challenges with our marriages/relationships, etc.

Internal factors have everything to do with how we respond to those challenges. Meaning, internal factors are the voices inside our head that love to mess with us. For example, it’s the voice that asks:

  • “Why can’t I handle this?”

  • “Shouldn’t I be stronger than this?”

  • “I must be a terrible father if I can’t better than this.”

We have all been there and it can be such a challenge.  However, there are strategies to improve patience in any given situation.

Strategy #1: How to Improve Patience by Knowing Your Triggers

For the most part, Dads have 2 times of the day when our patience can be the lowest. Morning can be a tough time of day because we usually go straight from a peaceful slumber and dive right into the challenges of the day. Time and time again, we have heard people say, “I’m just not a morning person.” For folks like that, this usually means the patience level is a bit thin when they first rise.

Solution: Believe it or not, if you are not a morning person, the best way to get your day started on a positive note is to rise 30-60 minutes early. Reason being, you should get up and do something positive just for yourself to get your mind in the right place. For some, going to the gym and exercising is just what we need. For others, it can be reading, praying, or simply watching 30 minutes of SportsCenter. The point is this, it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as it is something you enjoy and it is positive. Studies have statistically proved that people who start their day earlier and do something they enjoy are 35% more productive.

The second time of day where Dads usually have minimal patience is right after work. Going right from “Working Dad” to “Family Dad” without some mental prep before walking in the front door can definitely be a challenge. Reason being, as men, we are out solving the problems of the world and that can be stressful! Going right from a stressful day at the office right to the chaos of the home front can be a bit daunting from time to time.

Solution: Just as you need to mentally prep for any big meeting or presentation, you have to sometimes mentally prep to be your best when you put your “Family Dad” hat on.  Prayer, positive audiobooks, and inspirational podcasts can definitely help get your mind and heart in the right state.

Strategy #2: How to Improve Patience by Doing Something You Love Every Day

Having a positive outlet is absolutely critical if we want to be our best. For some, a positive outlet means something physical like exercise, running, or going for a walk. For others, it is something that improves mental clarity and focus like meditation, prayer, or reading. The strategy is to ensure we do something on a daily basis for no less than 30 minutes that is a healthy outlet. Having a healthy daily outlet can drastically improve patience and help us live more fulfilled lives.

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

 

perfect-supplements-banner3.png Thank You!

Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Good Dad Project. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a quick rating and review of the show on iTunes by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!

overcome weakness

How to Identify, Conquer, and Overcome Weakness – GDP009

“How to Identify, Conquer, and Overcome Weakness” Episode Overview

Larry and Shawn get personal on this episode and share some of the things they struggle with most and how they have learned to personally overcome weakness.

Key Take-Aways

  • Being aware of our weaknesses is the first step to conquering them
  • Implementing a strategy to conquer your weakness whenever you feel it start to arise

Example: Losing your patience – how to recognize it, control it, conquer it

Larry’s 1st Weakness: Patience

A lot of challenges in life, both at work and at home, can wear your patience down. You’ll feel tense and will exhibit tension through your facial expressions and actions. You can be irritable with your partner and with your kids. Check out this blog article on patience by Larry for more insight.

Solutions:

  • Take a few minutes before entering the house after a long day at work to reflect and breathe
  • Say a prayer: The powerful thing about prayer is it that you’re being intentional in your thoughts and actions

Larry says a prayer like this:

“Dear Lord, I don’t have it together today. I know I can’t do this alone. I need your help because without Your help, I won’t be successful. So, I pray that you will guide me to be the best version of myself for my family, and to turn a bad day into a good evening.”

  • Deep breathing
  • Listen to uplifting music
  • Listen to uplifting podcast

 

Shawn’s 1st Weakness: Low Tolerance for B.S.

Shawn tends to be short tempered with his older kids. He’s not patient with them when he knows they could be better at something he knows they can do. This crossed over into his professional career as well. Shawn has a hard time with people who don’t help themselves. However, Shawn has learned to recognize whether most actions or behavior are carried out from a place where the person lacks ability or lacks choice. He is more patient and tolerant when things are done out of lack of ability or choice, but he’s less tolerant when things can be more easily chosen and prevented. Realize that it’s not about you trying to win an argument or necessarily control a situation and be right. Own your feelings.

Solutions:

  • Have the intention
  • Have space to reflect
  • Be aware: Listen to the way you feel and the language you’re using
  • Be more compassionate and understanding
  • Ask yourself: “What is it that this person really wants? And how can I serve?”
  • See your kids/partner/another person: Look at them, listen to them, and remember how important they are to you
  • Tip that Larry learned from someone: Look into someone’s eyes and notice their eye color in the heat of the moment, which forces you take a pause — you can not only see that person, their emotion and the person that they are, but you can really recognize them and makes you able to respond instead of react.

 

Larry’s 2nd Weakness: Work-Life Balance

Larry works out of his house. His home is his office, and his office is his home. Men get wrapped up in the “provider mentality,” which is a hard to thing shut off, especially if they are the breadwinner and especially if they work from home. It can be a double-edged sword: You can be working to hours to provide for your family, but you’re also not able to provide for your time — quality time — to spend with family. You may be physically with your family, but your mind and emotions may not be there, particularly if you’re working while with them. Technology, specifically with emails and text messages, make you virtually reachable at all hours and increases the temptation to continue working. Larry shares an “a-ha!” moment he had with son. It’s a relatable, poignant story. Listen to the podcast to hear it.

Solutions:

  • Turn your phone off — or at least turn off the notifications and put the ringer on silent
  • Leave your phone and/or laptop in the car — or other safe place that isn’t so easily accessible

 

Shawn’s 2nd Weakness: Communication with Children’s Mothers

Shawn clarifies that he struggles in communicating with his ex (not his wife), which can be additionally challenging. He also tended to latch onto his kids more, out of fear, when he dropped them off to be with their mother. He was expecting problems and issues with his ex always being on “defense” when having a conversation with her. What complicates the situation even more is the fact that having children at a young age can cause additional frustration. Generally, the younger a parent is, the less prepared they are to have and raise a child. Plus, when you’re young, you’re still trying to figure out who you are as a person. It’s mostly about being patient and remaining appreciative about the process. There can also be resentment when there is positive change, particularly when one parent is able to move on and do well in life or seems to be doing better than the other parent is currently. Note: Don’t necessarily expect a positive response from your ex at first when you show and communicate positivity with her/him — you’ll likely catch them off guard.

Solutions:

  • Start playing offense and not defense — in other words, take the initiative: In a conversation, immediately look for ways to be helpful and to be of service towards your partner or ex-partner parent
  • Emote positive energy: Be truly caring and loving towards your partner or ex-partner parent as well as what they want and what their goals are, and then be more caring and patient with them
  • Show appreciation when things are difficult, and keep them top-of-mind: Even though you don’t like each other, you must find the things you appreciate about your partner or ex and find the goodness
  • Communicate goodness in every conversation possible, frequently — not just on Mother’s Day or holidays — especially when things are not well between you and your partner or ex, so that you can start to better transition into a much more valuable, healthier relationship

 

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

The Good Dad Project Car Karaoke Session

Check out the video of Larry and Shawn singing a tune in a car, complete with disco ball and colored lights. They’re mic’ed up, so the karaoke is official now — and they’re on some kind of fire!

perfect-supplements-banner3.png Thank You!

Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Good Dad Project. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a quick rating and review of the show on iTunes by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!

Patience: A Dad’s Confession

I have been a Dad for seven years.  I am blessed with three amazing boys from seven years old to eight weeks old.  I have a loving wife whom I have been married to for just over 10 years.  From the outside looking in, I feel extremely blessed.

However… Read more