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how to become a patient father

How to Become a Patient Father in 37 Minutes

Today we talk about how to become a patient father.

The Dad Edge started on one of the worst nights of my life as a dad. I lost my patience and did something I regret to this day.

I didn’t grow up with my dad in the picture, and the men in my life were not good father figures to me. I was raised in an uncertain, sometimes abusive, alcohol-ridden household. When I became a parent, I didn’t have a clue. All I knew is what I didn’t want to do, but that wasn’t enough.

Losing our temper does not mean that we are bad, hopeless people. We are only lacking the skills to talk ourselves down so that we can respond instead of reacting to the daily challenges of fatherhood.

In this show, I give you a toolbox of strategies that you can use to understand the triggers, notice the signs, and disarm the bomb before it goes off.

Patience is the capacity to accept, tolerate, or delay trouble or suffering without getting angry or upset.

What You’ll Learn

  • Why focusing on what NOT to do as a parent backfires
  • Why it’s so hard to determine where our anger comes from
  • The shame and guilt we feel because we don’t understand why we sometimes verbally, or even physically, take our frustration out on our loved ones
  • The things we do in the morning that set us up for disaster when it comes to losing our tempers
  • The elements of patience
  • The physical triggers that signal that we’re about to react
  • How we unwittingly trigger our fight or flight mechanisms
  • How to create space between reaction and response
  • Why emotions are neither bad nor good
  • How to detach from outcomes
  • How to prepare for moments that will test our patience
  • How to give forgive ourselves when we make mistakes
  • Stopping negative self-talk
  • Executing an after-action review

BECOME A PATIENT FATHER IN 37 MINUTES

Learn how to understand, predict, and neutralize your temper in this quick, actionable eCourse.

Includes print offs, templates, plus a 30-day membership in THE DAD EDGE MASTERMIND.

Get support, motivation, and advice from other men who’ve been there. With the accountability of the community, you will not fail!


Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

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FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EBOOK: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

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Parenting ADHD and Autism with Penny Williams

Being a parent challenges us in every way. Parenting an ADHD or Autistic child is even more challenging. Kids don’t come with instruction manuals and the constant struggle can make you feel frustrated, stuck and hopeless.

Today we have Penny Williams on The Dad Edge. She’s a coffee-lovin’, ADHD-obsessed momma on a mission, and she’s honored to help families on this always chaotic, often stressful, anything-but-ordinary parenting journey.

Through her podcast, award-winning books, online parent training programs, parent coaching, and mom retreats, Penny has helped thousands of families survive and thrive in the face of ADHD. Penny says the key is not to learn how to change your child, but how to change yourself.

In this episode, she teaches the mindset and parenting skills, insights, tools, and strategies, to understand your child’s behavior and help them to interact with the world in the best way possible.

This show is a revelation for all dads and moms. Empower yourself with the training you need to be the parent you child needs.

“Your kid is not giving you a hard time, he is having a hard time.”—Penny Williams

Penny Williams

A self-proclaimed “veteran” parent of a son with ADHD, Penny Williams is the creator of the award-winning website, parentingadhdandautism.com, and a frequent contributor on parenting a child with ADHD for ADDitude Magazine, Healthline, and other parenting and special needs publications.

“I endured a long learning curve when my son was diagnosed with ADHD,” says Williams. “I share my experiences parenting my son, Ricochet, in the hopes of shortening that painful time of trial by fire for others.” Williams says she gains strength in parenting Ricochet through a quote from Albert Einstein, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

Williams’ first book, Boy Without Instructions: Surviving the Learning Curve of Parenting a Child with ADHD, is an Amazon best-seller and a USA Best Book Awards winner. Her second book, What to Expect When Parenting Children with ADHD, won the Psychology & Mental Health category of the 2015 International Book Awards.

Boy Without Instructions: Surviving the Learning Curve of Parenting a Child with ADHD

Most books on ADHD don’t dare expose the genuine grit of the moment-by-moment peaks and valleys of this special parenthood — the gut-wrenching, crying on the bathroom floor, feeling like you’re losing your mind truth of the matter that is learning to successfully parent a child with ADHD. Boy Without Instructions changes that.

Williams shares her unfiltered thoughts and emotions during her progression through this learning curve during this harrowing ride. Right before your eyes, this initially grief-stricken momma transforms from obsessed-with-ADHD control-freak and helicopter mom to optimistic and (mostly) confident parent of a child who happens to have ADHD. Boy Without Instructions validates your grief and guilt, yet reveals that it’s truly possible to craft a (mostly) joy-filled life for your child with ADHD, yourself, and your family.

What You’ll Learn

  • Behavior looks like disrespect and opposition on the surface, but it’s really your child struggling.
  • We want our kids to reflect on us that we are a good parent, but we must address why the behavior is happening instead of the behavior itself.
  • Acknowledge that your kid’s emotions are real for them.
  • If we don’t allow our kids to be who they are, we’re not supporting them to ever discover themselves. They will feel like we don’t love them just the way they are.
  • When we decide and try to control what is good behavior, we don’t give room for anything else.
  • There is a big difference between trying to guide our kids and changing them.
  • Our kids are trying 10 times harder than we see on the surface.
  • Parents are the scaffolding on which kids grow.
  • The more we protect and try to avoid difficult situations, the more opportunities kids lose to learn how to cope. They only learn to avoid discomfort.
  • Teach them to be able to get through something uncomfortable.
  • Step back enough to let them make mistakes.
  • Set your values apart from your parenting rules.
  • Bad behavior feels personal and against us, but it’s not.
  • The difference between tantrums and meltdowns
  • Dealing with other parents’ judgement
  • Set expectations before doing something like going to the grocery store.
  • How to tune into why your kid is acting out—sensory overload, tired, hungry, struggling…
  • Use empathy instead of authority.
  • What’s the difference between parenting kids with and without ADHD? Nothing.
  • Allow natural consequences instead of punitive punishment.
  • Kids will be hyperaware if they are being treated different from their siblings. Set one parenting plan for the whole house with values and boundaries.
  • Kindness is always the right way. Everything comes from there.
  • Giving ourselves grace—We will fail. When we give ourselves permission to be human and make a mistake, we give our kids permission.
  • Working “the calm muscle”
  • You matter too. We can only do good for others when we feel good ourselves. When you feel good, the house feels good.
  • We give less to our kids when we do not practice self-care.
  • Why it’s important to have a tribe to lean on and learn from as an ADHD/autism parent

 

RELATED EPISODES:

Parenting Your ADHD Kid with Confidence Angela Pruess

Strategy Guide for Parenting ADHD Kids with Brian King


Protect your kids with the Bark App

cyberbullying

sexual content

suicidal ideation

online predators


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Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


Penny William’s Links

parentingadhdandautism.com

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Amazon

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EBOOK: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

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monty heath

The Full Monty: Dad-Life as an Ex-Navy SEAL with Monty Heath


Becoming our best selves is a choice. We can choose to watch life pass us by, sleepwalking to our deathbeds full of regret. Or we can make the decision to take destiny into our own hands, leaving a distinct mark on the world.

Today we have former Navy SEAL Monty Heath on The Dad Edge Podcast. Monty made the choice to leave the Navy SEALs before getting married and starting his family. He talks about how keeping calm is the most effective and important way to operate in life. He reveals how closely he came to divorce and the choice he made to never quit on his marriage. Monty also discusses his approach to dad life and teaches us how we can keep cool and rational through the inevitable chaos of fatherhood.

“I want to raise kids who are better than me.”—Monty Heath

Monty Heath

In 1993, Monty Heath became a U.S. Navy SEAL, completing one of his lifelong goals. He was fortunate enough to serve alongside America’s finest in Operations Enduring Freedom and Joint Forge. Monty credits SEAL Team Two and Red Squadron as adding significance to everything else he would do in life. During his service, Monty was twice awarded the Bronze star with combat Valor designation.

After eleven years of faithful service, Monty left the SEALS (admittedly one of the most difficult things he’s ever done) to start a family and change focus to the civilian sector. Through the years, he has lead a variety of successful military and civilian endeavors, including supervising the U.S. Navy’s SEAL mentorship program and BUD/S preparatory program. He has provided executive protection for several Forbes 400 individuals and their families. He is truly honored to be helping those he feels need and deserve it the most – America’s veterans and service members.

“Calm people are the best people.”—Monty Heath

What You’ll Learn

  • Monty considered himself to be an immature warrior.
  • The difference between approaching life with a subjective or objective mindset.
  • Avoid conflict when one or both sides are emotional instead of logical.
  • Monty’s advice to his younger self—You don’t have to classify and quantify everything in your sight. Mostly, people don’t want your unsolicited opinions and advice. If they did, they would ask you for it.
  • Seek mentorship and knowledge. Sometimes you have to step into the thick of it to grow.
  • Why Monty didn’t try to have kids until he felt he was ready
  • In life, try to get “mission focus.” Keep your eyes on the future and the goal, and all the pieces of uncomfortableness are just hoops you need to jump through to get there.
  • How to use empathy to help people in a heightened emotional state
  • The emotion/logic seesaw—We cannot judge people for their visceral reactions. Meet them where they are in their feelings and validate them.
  • Growing up in a dysfunctional family helped Monty in keeping calm through his experiences as a Navy SEAL.
  • How Monty and his wife have beat the odds when it comes to their marriage after being on the brink of divorce many times.
  • It’s a conscious decision to be married and monogamous.
  • Monty believes life is about more than casual sex. It’s better to have a wife, friend, and partner.
  • He credits his wife for putting up with his caveman antics for so long.
  • Marriage—If you love each other, then it’s worth it.
  • Choice—Tomorrow has nothing to do with today. You can choose to do something to make yourself better. Apply time, effort, and discipline.
  • Anything worth doing is hard. If you’re out of your comfort zone, you’re doing it right.

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Raising Kids with the Dichotomy of Leadership with Jocko Willink

Staring Down the Wolf with ex-Navy SEAL Mark Divine

Warrior Toughness for Real Life with Navy SEAL Stephen Drum

COVID-19: How to Protect and Lead Your Family Through Crisis with Retired Navy SEAL Jason Redman

Navy SEAL Tactics for Parents with Chris Sajnog

 


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


Monty Heath’s Links

thefullmonty.net

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOK HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EBOOK: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Follow The Dad Edge


Don’t settle for a mediocre life.

Join over 420 men becoming their best selves
in The Dad Edge Alliance.

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Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

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armor down daddy up

Armor Down/Daddy Up


We show up best when we are fully present in the moment, but we have a tendency to live in defense-mode based on fears from the past. It’s not that we’re not capable of being more open and mindful. It’s that we don’t know how. Today, Ben King gives us the skillset to armor down and daddy up.

Ben King is an Iraq War veteran and Purple Heart recipient who has helped hundreds of veterans “armor down” with mindfulness, meditation, and yoga practices. He tells us how he changed his perspective on what it means to be strong and how that has transformed him as a man and father. He explains how to get out of the stories we tell ourselves and get into our bodies to experience life more objectively. He also teaches us how to hone our skills of empathy and patience so that we can move with life instead of against it. Armor Down. Daddy Up!

Our greatest assets show up when we are fully present in the moment.–Ben King, Armor Down/Daddy Up

Armor Down/Daddy Up

The Armor Down/Daddy Up!™ (AD/DU!) program is designed to assist veterans and active-duty warriors with reentering their families in the most productive and rewarding ways possible. It is also designed to be of value to others who have been impacted by trauma-related experiences.

What You’ll Learn

  • Our skillset fails, not our patience.
  • Surviving on approval can create panic.
  • We often model parents’ triggering.
  • Down-regulate patterns that are built into your system.
  • Defeating meathead patterns.
  • Men are viewed as protectors, using physicality and violence in gesture.
  • How Ben King changed his idea of what it meant to be strong. It used to be a presentation. This had its limitations.
  • Identify the mindfulness tools that help you. What are the most efficient? Keep bringing them back.
  • Train every day to hone your skills on a regular basis.
  • As you become more mindful, the layers of being a father and a man become more nuanced and exciting.
  • Operating from the intellect and the culturally articulated idea of masculinity is ineffective.
  • Getting out of the way of our bodies.
  • The driver is the heart. Become heart-focused.
  • Ben discovered that the greatest version of himself was not the armored version, but the one that flowed.
  • Your story about yourself determines how you will act
  • If you’re operating from a place of threat, you cannot use your mind’s high-functioning processors.
  • Align your spine, straighten your shoulders to stimulate your parasympathetic system.
  • Love by its very nature conquers fear.
  • Trauma ruptures your relationship with what was a predictable normal life.
  • The rupture gets filled with maladaptive habits that are flawed.
  • Give your kid access to the information given them by their body when they are experiencing emotions. Tell them, “It’s okay to feel what your feeling. Let’s look at it.”
  • Press your kids to their edge and then let them take the next step on their own.
  • Ben’s simple but genius candy strategy to make sure “the walk home” after an event with your kids ends on a positive note.

MENTIONED EPISODES

The Challenges of Being a Military Veteran Dad

Staring Down the Wolf with ex-Navy SEAL Mark Divine

The Real, Transparent, Imperfect Dad with Tim Kennedy

 


Our biggest regrets in life happen
when we’ve lost our patience. 

Stop Reacting and Start Living

Do the work. Make a plan. Follow along with simple, yet powerful exercises and tap into the patience that is within you.

PLUS 1 Free Month in the Dad Edge Alliance

Create an action plan to help you thrive in life and build the legacy you want.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE


Ben King’s Links

dadvocacyconsultinggroup.com

Facebook

YouTube

Instagram

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOK HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EBOOK: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Follow The Dad Edge


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

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choose patience

Choose Patience: How to Find Peace Amid Insanity


Sometimes living with kids can be insane, and we all have those times when we lose our temper. But we do have the ability to choose patience, and it’s up to us to show our kids what it means to be in control of our behavior. Learning how to choose patience can help us find chaos amid the insanity in any situation.

In this short episode, I talk about what we can do mentally and emotionally as fathers to pause, reflect, and create space between reaction and response.

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Inadequacy, Insecurity, and Imposter Syndrome with Mike Kitko

Imposter Syndrome: Defeating Your Inner Bully with Dr. Jamie Hope


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

LINKS


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What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

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