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No Bad Kids: The Psychology of Toddler Parenting with Janet Lansbury


We all love our kids. At the same time, we all have those moments when they drive us crazy. Sometimes, they don’t listen or become defiant. They have meltdowns and throw tantrums that can get on our last nerve.

But babies, toddlers, and children see the world through different eyes. They depend on us for everything and look to us to guide them. How can we teach and discipline them while being more patient and understanding parents?

Today’s guest is Janet Lansbury. She’s a well-known parenting expert, the host of the Unruffled Podcast, and the author of No Bad Kids.

Janet is going to talk to us about what our kids are trying to communicate with their behavior, why we should back off when they explore during play, and how we can best help them to learn and develop without frustration.

This show is a revelation for parents of kids of all ages. Don’t miss it!

Kids know themselves better than we do. They know what they’re ready to take on.—Janet Lansbury

Janet Lansbury

A former actress and model, Janet’s passion for parent education began when she became a mother and sought guidance from infant expert Magda Gerber. Deeply inspired and grateful for her wisdom, she began training with Magda professionally. For the last 20 years, Janet has taught RIE parenting classes in Los Angeles, been a presenter at numerous early childhood conferences, written parenting articles, and served on the board of directors of Resources for Infant Educarers (RIE).

Janet is privileged to now be supporting hundreds of thousands of parents across the globe through her website JanetLansbury.com, sharing insights gained through her parenting classes and personal experiences as a mother of three. Janet encourages parents and child care professionals to perceive babies as unique, capable human beings with natural abilities to learn without being taught; to develop motor and cognitive skills; communicate; face age appropriate struggles; initiate and direct independent play for extended periods; and much more.

“Janet Lansbury Unruffled” is one of the most downloaded parenting podcasts on the web and recommended listening by “The Washington Post” for anyone seeking guidance in parenting. Her audio series “Sessions” is available on her website and features intimate recorded consultations with parents.

No Bad Kids

Janet Lansbury is unique among parenting experts. As a RIE teacher and student of pioneering child specialist Magda Gerber, her advice is not based solely on formal studies and the research of others, but also on her twenty years of hands-on experience guiding hundreds of parents and their toddlers. “No Bad Kids” is a collection of Janet’s most popular and widely read articles pertaining to common toddler behaviors and how respectful parenting practices can be applied to benefit both parents and children. It covers such common topics as punishment, cooperation, boundaries, testing, tantrums, hitting, and more. “No Bad Kids” provides a practical, indispensable tool for parents who are anticipating or experiencing those critical years when toddlers are developmentally obliged to test the limits of our patience and love. Armed with knowledge and a clearer sense of the world through our children’s eyes, this period of uncertainty can afford a myriad of opportunities to forge unbreakable bonds of trust and respect.

What You’ll Learn

  • The importance of being present for the times our children are not feeling happiness and contentment
  • Babies have a right to cry. We instinctively shut them down, but this is not always the best thing to do.
  • Acknowledging and being accepting about your child’s imperfections
  • What “begin present” with your child really means
  • Observation is the key to good parenting. Note the differences between you and your child. Let them explore playing, learning, interests, passions, and creative interests without imposing your own projections.
  • Why babies are such incredible learners
  • Why you shouldn’t drag your kids to sports and activities they’re not enthusiastic about
  • When should a child quit an activity?
  • The power of our suggestions as parents
  • Exploring your child’s behavior from a place of curiosity and interest
  • After school, encourage your kids to follow their intuition on what they want to do. Their time is theirs.
  • Why you never have to be the one who nags your kid to get homework done
  • The biggest frustration is that we perceive our children’s behavior as being reasonable. Reason won’t work on impulses that come from stress and emotion.
  • Don’t ever repeat yourself. If you’ve said it, and they’re not listening, go help them change their behavior.
  • Why getting excited, raising your voice, or spanking can make the behavior worse
  • Why you should speak in first-person (“I said stop doing that.”), not third-person (“Mommy/Daddy said stop doing that.”)
  • We get triggered into the way our parents handled us.
  • We can’t change our child’s, or our, reactions. But we can practice the right perspective. Reframe the situation to what is really going on. Your kids are not intentionally trying to annoy or aggravate you.

 


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Self-Compassion and Accountability for Dads

Self-Compassion and Accountability for Dads

As men, we are usually are all or nothing. We have the tendency to set extreme goals, and if we have one setback, we take that as proof we can’t succeed and give up entirely.

But if we practice both self-compassion and accountability, we can forgive ourselves, dust off, and get back on track.

Today, we have one of our Dad Edge Alliance Mastermind Commanders on the show, Paul Richardson. He’s in charge of ensuring the men on his team are executing their plans.

Paul says we won’t be motivated all the time, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean we can’t stay on the path to success.

Instead of beating ourselves up for the bad days, we must learn to trust the process, asking for help along the way. We can grow at our own pace, forgiving ourselves when we have a setback and loving ourselves enough to be patient.

Discover the power of self-compassion and accountability for dads in this short episode!

MENTIONED EPISODES:

3 Techniques for Deep Communication with Your Spouse

Never Give Up No Matter What with Mason Hagner


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how to live in the present

Do a Day: How to Live in the Present with Bryan Falchuk


Today’s show is all about how to live in the present. We always hear people talking about it, but how exactly is it done?

Most of us hold onto shame, guilt, and feelings of unworthiness from yesterday. At the same time, we feel constant anxiety when we think about what tomorrow might bring. This ruins any chance of making today a great day and keeps us in a state of fear that negatively effects our relationships at home and at work.

Bryan Falchuk is a life coach, TEDx speaker, and the bestselling author of Do a Day: How to Live a Better Life Every Day. He’s going to give us a formula to help us live in the present moment by confronting our past and removing anxiety about the future. Today is a new day. Go out and do it!

If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you’re pissing on the present.

 

Bryan Falchuk

Bryan is a best-selling author, speaker and life coach. He has faced major adversities and learned how to overcome and achieve. From obesity to running marathons, from career struggles to success as a CXO, from watching illness threaten his family to finding lasting health, he has been through many lessons he used to develop his unique approach to inspiring others succeed.

Bryan’s work has been featured in several top publications like Inc. Magazine, The LA Times, Chicago Tribune and more. He has spoken at multiple TEDx events, and has been a featured guest on over 100 podcasts and radio shows.

While Bryan lives in the US, he has worked and lived in numerous countries and cultures across the world, giving him a truly global perspective.

If you don’t deal with that weight that’s on you, it will deal with you.—Bryan Falchuk

What You’ll Learn

  • What happened to Bryan, the youngest of four kids, when his parents divorced
  • How he used food as a comfort mechanism when he was a child, leading to obesity
  • His love of mayonnaise sandwiches
  • How Bryan had the biggest boobs in school
  • His constant fear of putting weight back on
  • How he’s moved past the fat kid that lived inside of him
  • Now, Bryan exercises because he enjoys it, not because he’s afraid of being fat
  • How most of us carry someone else’s load on top of our own. We bury what we’re dealing with because we’re handling stuff for others.
  • The crucial importance of confronting your past
  • How Bryan failed his wife during the illness that nearly caused her death because he was too reactive
  • The defining moment when Bryan realized he was responsible to raise his son … and he was failing
  • How Bryan justified his anxiety by telling himself that his over-worrying was responsible for getting him this far
  • In reality, Bryan had no self-worth for many years
  • How living in yesterday ruined Bryan’s job
  • If you expect confrontation, you will get it.
  • Your fear makes you throw away the capability you have today.
  • The more you evolve and explore, the more opportunities you will have.
  • What’s most important for Bryan to do every day for his wife and kid
  • How to share your issues without taking the joy from others
  • How to take others’ issues without reacting
  • How Buddhism influenced him
  • The 4 Components of How to Live in the Present:
    • Self-love – the solid ground. Without self-love you will self-sabotage because you believe you’re not worth it
    • True motivation – will keep you moving no matter what. Deep within you, they are the things that choke you up. What will you always care about?
    • Look at your life – Where do you want it to be? What is serving you, what is not? Deal with your issues, past and future.
    • Make a plan for today – How are you going to react? What will you do to change the thoughts and habits that are not serving you?
  • The ongoing process of Do a Day

 

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and other special offers!


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Bryan Falchuk’s Links

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alter ego effect todd herman

The Alter Ego Effect with Todd Herman

There is only one person keeping you from reaching your full potential, and that is you. Today we’re going to reveal an extraordinary way to bypass fear, doubt, and limiting beliefs by creating heroic alter egos.

Todd Herman is a high-performance coach and the author of The Alter Ego Effect: The Power of Secret Identities to Transform Your Life. He is going to teach us why alter egos work, how to create them for different aspects of our lives, and how to activate them to help us become effective businessmen, intentional husbands, and patient and present fathers.

Todd Herman’s tools, insights, and philosophy will blow your mind. Prepare to discover the power of your secret identity!

'When you change someone at the identity level, all the habits, behavior, and beliefs change along with it.'— @Todd_Herman #performance #limitingbeliefs #alterego Click To Tweet

Todd Herman

Todd Herman is an author, performance advisor, and entrepreneur. For 22 years, his training company, Herman Performance Systems, has focused on helping achievers and ambitious people in sport & business, achieve wildly outrageous goals while enjoying the process. Originally from Alberta, Canada where he grew up on a large farm and ranch, where he developed a healthy dislike of chicken coops.

His company has a suite of programs serving Olympic athletes, Entrepreneurs, and Leaders. He’s been featured on the Today Show, Sky Business News, Inc Magazine and CBC National News.

He lives in New York City with his wife and three young children and is currently the worlds worst ukulele player.

'Mental toughness is ability to be adaptable and flexible despite what your circumstances are giving you right now.'— @Todd_Herman #mentaltoughness #resilience #motivation Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • How Todd got started with the alter ego idea
  • Todd’s beginnings as a high-performance coach
  • His time as a nationally ranked badminton player
  • Why kids should learn to play both a team sport and an individual sport
  • What he learned from coaching Olympians
  • The gold thread that connected all the highest performers
  • How he developed a process and system to create an alter ego that helps people win. Todd has built alter egos for professional athletes in all sports around the world.
  • The constant self-bullying we do to ourselves
  • Why humans are conditioned to notice the negative
  • How this primitive negativity has shifted to social dynamics in the modern world
  • The superpower of your inner personal narrative
  • Your negative self-talk is not you and is a sign to break through
  • How he changed his identity to become a more romantic, affectionate, and vulnerable husband
  • How humans can shapeshift
  • Why there is no you
  • How humans create our world and ourselves through language
  • Is there another version of you inside? How do you find it?
  • Why everyone should be taking lessons from nature. If you’re not growing, you’re dying.
  • The folly of pursuing balance and why we must pursue integration instead
  • Why as soon as Todd’s kids turn two, he has them become part of his business and speak on stage
  • What could be possible for you if you stopped acting in the “youness” that is you
  • Role-playing different versions of yourself
  • Leveraging moments of impact
  • What he learned from Stan Lee about the power of enthusiasm
  • How to infuse your home with a different energy and change the trajectory of time you spend with your family
  • Creating windows of possibility
  • The destructiveness of the old “tough day at work” mentality
  • How 80% of the one-on-one time with your child is gone by the time they are twelve
  • 3 questions to ask your kid at night to finish the day strong
  • The chasm of despair that opens when you look at how far you need to go instead of on how far you’ve come
  • Affirming your kids’ effort to cultivate a growth mindset
  • How to activate the alter ego you want to use with a totem
  • Breaking the chain of what people expect from you
  • How to create a dad-self that is masculine yet soft and caring


MENTIONED EPISODE:

3 Questions to Ask Your Kid Every Night


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Todd Herman’s Links

toddherman.me

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Resources

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Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

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Why Men Are Better Together

Why Men Are Better Together


Today I’m sitting down with everyday dad and alliance member, Mike. He’s having a great time now being a father, but it wasn’t always this way.

Mike is the father of an 8 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. When his son was first born, he couldn’t understand why he didn’t feel a connection to his baby. He thought something was wrong with him but was afraid to tell anyone about it.

As his kids grew, his noticed his patience was thin, and he was worried he’d end up being “the dad that yelled a lot.” He was also afraid that he wouldn’t have all the answers to the questions his kids asked, and he suffered chronic anxiety. This was a huge catalyst for change.

One of the hardest things for men to do is ask for help, but Mike was tired of doing life on his own. He didn’t want to lean on his wife for everything either. That’s when he made himself a priority and joined The Dad Edge Alliance.

Listen to Mike’s journey as a dad, and why men are better together!


Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

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Resources

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==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

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Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

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