Do you consider yourself to be one of the “good guys?” What is the truth about masculinity? What does it mean to be a good man in today’s rapidly changing society? The old ideas of the male being a lone pursuer, protector, and provider are evolving, leaving many men confused about their role in family and society.
Today we have Cleo Stiller on The Dad Edge. She is the author of Modern Manhood: Conversations About the Complicated World of Being a Good Man Today. Cleo has had conversations with men all over the cultural, economic, and geographical spectrum, along with experts in psychology and sociology, to get a deeper understanding of what men really want and need.
In this episode, Cleo Stiller provides context for men and women when it comes to friendship, sex, parenting, money, and work. She also tells us how dads can become better human beings and raise their sons to confidently navigate the modern world.
There’s no way you’re going to raise a son who is comfortable expressing himself if you aren’t comfortable expressing yourself.—Cleo Stiller
Cleo Stiller is a Peabody Award and Emmy Award-nominated journalist, speaker and television host on a mission to inspire positive social action around the world — and now an author with Simon & Schuster.
Stiller’s latest project is a new book Modern Manhood: Conversations About the Complicated World of Being a Good Man Today based off of years of Stiller’s reporting with men as they reconcile what it means to be “a good man” in a #MeToo era.
Modern Manhood is a #1 New Release on Amazon and has received coverage in Fortune Magazine, Rolling Stone, ABC News, The Independent, PBS, LinkedIn’s Weekend Essay and many more.
Prior to this, Stiller spearheaded health-focused digital and social video content for Univision’s cable news network for Millennials, Fusion. This culminated in the creation of an original docuseries about relationships, technology and culture. It’s the network’s second highest performing original series and has received multiple award nominations, including a prestigious Peabody Award for public service.
Stiller is an Emmy nominated and Gracie winning journalist with a background in digital video reporting — and a passion for women’s health. She’s a frequent conference speaker, most recently at New York University’s Center for Global Affairs Women’s Global Health Conference and her work has been covered by The New York Times, Self.com, Variety,Bustle, Essence,LifeHacker and a Reddit AMA.
Stiller now consults with media companies, brands and organizations to create and execute video campaigns optimized for digital reach that educate, humor and inspire viewers.
Modern Manhood: Conversations About the Complicated World of Being a Good Man Today
Emmy and Peabody Award–nominated health reporter Cleo Stiller’s fun(ny) and informative collection of advice and perspectives about what it means to be a good guy in the era of #MeToo.
Here are a few self-evident truths: Predatory men need to go, sexual assault is wrong, and women and men should be equal. If you’re a man and disagree with any of the aforementioned, then this book isn’t for you.
But if you agree, you’re probably one of the “good guys.” That said, you might also be feeling frustrated, exasperated, and perhaps even skeptical about the current national conversation surrounding #MeToo (among many other things). You’ve likely found yourself in countless experiences or conversations lately where the situation feels gray, at best. You have a lot to say, but you’re afraid to say it and worried that one wrong move will land you in the hot seat. From money and sex to dating and work and everything in between—it can all be so confusing! And when do we start talking about solutions instead of putting each other down?
In Modern Manhood, reporter Cleo Stiller sheds light on all the gray areas out there, using conversations that real men and women are having with their friends, their dates, their family, and themselves. Free of judgment, preaching, and sugarcoating, Modern Manhood is engaging, provocative, and, ultimately, a great resource for gaining a deeper understanding of what it means to genuinely be a good man today.
What You’ll Learn
- Why Cleo doesn’t use the phrase “toxic masculinity”
- This is the most progressive generation and cultural norms are changing quickly.
- Cleo’s book, Modern Manhood, seeks to provide context for men and women all over the country about gray areas when it comes to dating, parenting, money, and work.
- Class, ethnic, and regional background affect our ideas of what being a good man means.
- The loss of friendship and loneliness of modern men
- The reason men don’t have meaningful friendships once they reach adulthood
- “Woke,” the new term for politically aware
- Should you call out a friend for being inappropriate?
- Men don’t know how to talk about their problems, so they turn to humor (sometimes inappropriate) to bond.
- Women are increasingly out earning their male partners.
- Men are hardwired to provide, but most men don’t want to be THE provider, but a provider.
- Men being the sole provider is new in human history. Historically, it was a dual income society, where men hunted and women gathered, both providing food.
- Single income households developed after agriculture started.
- Strip the idea from your mind that the only way you can provide as a man is through money. There are so many other ways.
- Questioning stereotypical idea of masculinity as the lone wolf, stoic, protector, and pursuer
- Most men get their idea of what being a good man means from their father for what he did or did not do.
- If there is something about your idea of a being good man that is making you miserable, you can reframe it.
- We often equate work with misery and feel like we’re doing something wrong if we’re happy.
- Sex and dating in the age of the #metoo movement
- We don’t see connected, intimate sexual interactions in media and in our culture, so we don’t practice them either.
- Get comfortable with your feelings within. Everything that makes you uncomfortable will come out in your children. If you’re afraid of your feelings, they will be too.
- How to teach your sons to process emotion.
- It’s not so much about what a good guy does, but what a good person does. You are a human, you should be able to rely on and open up to the people that you love.
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