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Getting your Kid to be Honest with You

Getting Your Kid to Be Honest with You

What are we supposed to do when our kids admit to doing something wrong?

If we blow up, they will lie to avoid getting into trouble. They’ll be afraid to come to us whenever they have problems.

When they are small, it may be a fight on the playground or a grade on a test. As they get older, they’ll have to navigate sex, drugs, and peer pressure. The risks are bigger, and the consequences are more serious.

Today we talk about getting your kid to be honest with you, no matter what.

You are the lighthouse in your home. Your job is not to go into the storm of emotions, but to light the way through it.”

In this short episode, you will learn how to:

  • create a psychologically safe environment where you kids feel comfortable with telling you anything.
  • eliminate guilt, shame, and fear from the equation.
  • celebrate ownership, honesty, and integrity above all things.
  • be mentally and emotionally vigilant so that we can respond instead of reacting to crises in our kids’ lives.

RELATED EPISODES:

How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography with Kristen Jenson

The Dad Edge Mailbox January 2021

 


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Our biggest regrets in life happen
when we’ve lost our patience. 

how to have more patience

Stop Reacting and Start Living

Do the work. Make a plan. Follow along with simple, yet powerful exercises and tap into the patience that is within you.

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Create an action plan to help you thrive in life and build the legacy you want.

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Own Your Career, Own Your Life with Andy Storch

Would you believe that 82% of men are unhappy with what they do for a living? How tragic is it that so many of us are letting the days slip away in misery? How can we find work that both makes us come alive and also helps us provide the life we want for our families?

If you’re feeling frustrated and trapped, there is good news. It’s never too late to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life, and you’re in the perfect place right now to take the first step to where you truly want to go.

Andy Storch is the author of Own Your Career Own Your Life: Stop Drifting and Take Control of Your Future. He is the host of two podcasts, The Talent Development Hot Seat and the Own Your Career Own Your Life Show and he is going to teach us how to stop waiting for something to happen and create a life that excites us!

Andy Storch

Andy Storch spent years stuck in the wrong career and drifting aimlessly through life. Now, he is a professional coach, consultant, speaker, and author whose life mission is to equip others to live intentionally, love the life they live, and fulfill their true potential.

In his eagerly-anticipated book Own Your Career Own Your Life, you’ll learn how to direct your own career, prepare for the future, and ultimately get back in the driving seat of your own life.

This book is intended to be a practical guide, so it is packed full of useful tips and easily actionable steps, as well as inspirational accounts of real-life events and helpful insights into the author’s own life – including the exact, real-life strategies he has used to design a career and life he loves.

What You’ll Learn

  • Most people are waiting for things to happen to them—the new job, the promotion, the side business, but you have to take the initiative.
  • It’s up to you to wake up and live life intentionally.
  • We often go by default into the careers we are offered, or we pursue what our parents think we should do.
  • Figuring out where you’ve gone wrong is not about guilt and regret. It’s about realizing you’re in the perfect spot to take action, change, and move forward.
  • How to discover what path to choose:
    • Self-awareness—Ask yourself about your strengths and weaknesses?
    • What energizes you?
    • What are your values?
    • Have conversations with friends. What do they perceive your strengths are?
  • Weight the priorities and trade-offs.
  • The smallest thing you can do to get started is to shift your mindset from being a trapped victim to one of ownership. You get to choose.
  • Ask yourself, why do I go to this job I don’t like? Is there a better option?
  • What are you really unhappy about? Can you tweak your existing work to make it better?
  • Find people who are doing what you’d like to do and follow them.
  • How to praise effort in your own life instead of results.
  • Failing doesn’t make you a failure. Are you really afraid of failure, or just what others will think?
  • Most men say, I don’t have time to try something new. Is that really true? Where are you really spending your time?
  • How to integrate home and work life in a healthy way
  • Use your values to set your schedule and boundaries.

How to Elevate Your Game with Andy Storch


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If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

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Andy Storch’s Links

andystorch.com

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The Anatomy of Marriage Part 2: The Man’s Side

Are you white-knuckling it through your marriage? Sometimes the relationship with our spouse gets off track and it seems beyond repair. We wonder how long we can hold on, but it’s not because the marriage is hopeless. It’s that we don’t possess the right tools to make it work.

Today’s guest is Seth Studley, the other half of The Anatomy of Marriage podcast and app for couples. If you listened to the show with his wife Melanie, you’ll remember that their marriage was so bad that she ended up giving him a black eye.

Seth is a Licensed Family Therapist and he gives us the man’s perspective on marriage. He tells us the signs that his relationship was headed for disaster, how it totally derailed, and the emotional labor he had to do to piece it back together.

For those men who are tired of fighting their way through marriage, this show is a game changer. Listen now or download for later!

 

 

The Anatomy of Marriage

A great marriage is built little-by-little over time. AOM Radio is a fun and engaging daily show that will help you create a fulfilling, sexy, fun and life-giving marriage. And hey, it’s cheaper than marriage counseling!

No one person has the answers for every marriage, that is why Seth and Melanie Studley bring on amazing guests and have REAL CONVERSATIONS about sex, money, kids, marriage counseling, relationships, and so much more!

Seth and Melanie believe that marriage help shouldn’t be boring so we created the Anatomy Of Marriage App, the Couples Counseling App that’s fast, fun and NEVER BORING! Better relationships in the blink of an eye and WAY CHEAPER then marriage counseling!

Download the Anatomy of Marriage app.
Use promocode Dadedge.

What You’ll Learn

  • Seth and Melanie were emotionally immature and arguing all the time.
  • 7 years into their marriage, Melanie gave Seth a black eye when she found out he had been lying about watching porn.
  • You shouldn’t look to partner for self-worth.
  • Being super introspective is the first step to repairing your marriage.
  • Nobody’s got it all together, not even Seth who is a couples’ therapist.
  • Men are used to white-knuckling it alone.
  • Not knowing yourself or your feelings effects your marriage.
  • Men need to do the work. Emotional labor. Get real with yourself.
  • How talking out loud to someone will help you figure out what’s going on with yourself.
  • How to create healthy transition time between work and family
  • What is cognitive dissonance and how it creates turmoil
  • We think we can do it alone, but if we could do it on our own, we would’ve done it by now. That is why men need a coach, therapist, or group.
  • The things are men not talking about when it comes to marriage problems.
  • We are capable of superman moments if we give ourselves a chance.
  • Don’t put off addressing the problems in your relationship. You can be your own guru.
  • Get comfortable admitting your struggling to your wife. She wants the emotional connection, which cultivates intimacy.
  • If you want to change, don’t give yourself a way out.

Download the Anatomy of Marriage app.
Use promocode Dadedge.

 

MENTIONED EPISODES:

The Anatomy of Marriage with Melanie Studley

#75Hard: Start Reaching Your Goals with an Accountability Partner

 


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If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

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Seth Studley and the Anatomy of Marriage

anatomyofmarriage.com

Podcast

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coaching@anatomyofmarriage.com

ANATOMY OF MARRIAGE APP (Use promocode Dadedge)

Resources

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owning fatherhood dakota meyer

Owning Fatherhood with Dakota Meyer

Dakota Meyer is a former Marine and veteran of the war in Afghanistan. He’s also the host of the Owning It Podcast and the divorced father of two little girls.

Dakota shares his experience with PTS and his attempted suicide. He talks about how to step out of the victim mentality to become a greater version of ourselves. He also tells us the secrets to owning fatherhood, how to be an emotionally intelligent parent, and why we need to always surround ourselves with a trusted team for counsel.

You will hear a side of Dakota Meyer you haven’t heard on any other show. Get ready to own your life as a man and a dad!

If you’re not living for something bigger than yourself, it’s hard to do the right thing.

Dakota Meyer

Dakota Meyer is a former United States Marine. A veteran of the War in Afghanistan, he was awarded the Medal of Honor for his actions during the Battle of Ganjgal on 8 September 2009, in Kunar Province, Afghanistan. Meyer is the second-youngest living Medal of Honor recipient, the third living recipient for either the Iraq War or the War in Afghanistan and the first living U.S. Marine in 38 years to be so honored.

Owning It

This Owning It podcast is about owning your life, about leaving a legacy and giving more than you take. It’s about making the most of each day and giving your life true meaning. When your last day comes, your living legacy is left only in the memories of your loved ones and on your tombstone. On that tombstone are only two of the important dates in your life, the day you were born and the day you pass on; The only two days you don’t control. Owning the dash is about taking control of the days in between: That dash between the day you’re born and the day you die.

What You’ll Learn

  • The first time Dakota realized he wasn’t a victim was the day he put the gun to his head
  • Whatever’s in your head is not true. It’s not necessarily reality.
  • You may tell yourself your life sucks, but is really only a day or a minute that sucks?
  • How you have the make the choice not to be a victim over and over again
  • Complain or do something about it
  • You’ll let yourself down before everything else
  • How to define a mission and purpose
  • How most men haven’t seen an example of being a good father and are just doing what they were taught
  • Why your entire life, you always need counsel
  • Dakota says his only real skill is to surround himself with incredible people
  • His advice for men who feel threatened when they’re surrounded by people more successful than them
  • Don’t bitch about a problem unless you’re willing to fix it yourself
  • The formula = 5% bitching (stating problem) 5% planning (how to fix it), 90% taking action
  • His perspective on the war on masculinity
  • Why domestic, violence, and rape are the result of masculinity being taken away
  • What’s important for him to emulate as a man for his daughters
    1. Be an example of what a man should be – He wants his daughters to know what qualities to look for in her partner.
    2. Show how a woman should be treated – He wants to show his girls how a man is supposed to treat a woman so they will expect the same from their future relationships.
    3. Divorce is an option if necessary – Dakota didn’t want to model that it’s okay to be miserable. Divorce was the best solution in his case.
  • The most difficult part of being divorced
  • How being divorced from his wife, Bristol Palin, makes them better parents
  • His unwavering commitment to quality time
  • Why we should call dads out who brag about not changing diapers
  • How society has set a low bar for men on what being a dad is about
  • How dads need to accept that parenting is hard and there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t enjoy it at times
  • How Dakota didn’t feel the love with his second daughter and thought something was wrong with him
  • The most important life lessons he’s learned
  • Advice to fathers with sons on how to raise them to become better men
  • How men are not emotionally intelligent or mature, but we can exercise our empathy by feeling our emotions and connecting with people
  • The most destructive team to have around you are the people that buy into your bullshit and don’t call you out when you’re wrong.

Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

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The next one might be yours!

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Dakota Meyer’s Links

Owning It Podcast

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resilience parenting

Resilience Parenting with Chris Santillo


How can we teach our kids to navigate hardships and adversity while also raising them to be well-behaved? Today’s guest is Chris Santillo, the author of Resilience Parenting: Raising Resilient Children in an Era of Detachment and Dependence.

Chris is a black belt instructor of Kempo karate and has established a foundation of three pillars in parenting—learning, service, and integrity. You will find out what snowplow parenting is and why it’s so damaging. You’ll also learn why you should formulate a family creed, how to teach ownership and independence, and how to give kids space to overcome challenges to become constant learners in life.

If you don’t intentionally communicate your values to your children, then they’re either going to end up with no values or someone else is going to shove their values onto your kids.—Chris Santillo

Chris Santillo

Chris Santillo is founder and head instructor at Potomac Kempo, a martial arts studio with four locations in Alexandria, Virginia. Holly is his co-author and the founding conductor of Mount Vernon Children’s Choir and a Senior Instructor at Potomac Kempo. Together, they have been working with and educating children for more than thirty-five years. Chris has a degree in computer science from Harvey Mudd College and an MBA from Georgetown University; Holly has a degree in anthropology from Willamette University. As of the date of publication they are nomadic, exploring the world and worldschooling their three sons.

Anything they figure out by themselves sticks a little bit better than anything I can say.—Chris Santillo

Resilience Parenting

Your children will face many challenges in the years ahead, so you want to raise them to be resilient—strong, adaptable, and able to recover. It is your mission to empower your son or daughter to cultivate a functional and fulfilling life. This essential handbook will help you achieve that goal.

In Resilience Parenting, martial arts instructors Chris and Holly Santillo share the insights they have gained as teachers and parents. They offer positive alternatives to lecturing, bribing, and punishing; focusing instead on three Pillars: Learning, Integrity, and Service. By applying these powerful principles, you can inspire your children to develop the independence they need to succeed as adults, while renewing their connection to family and community.

Whether you are raising a teenager or just starting your family, the methods prescribed in this book will help you unlock your greatest potential as a parent.

The world is a better experience with children.—Chris Santillo

What You’ll Learn

  • What snowplow parenting is and why it leaves kids dangerously unprepared when they go out into the world
  • How we need to give kids opportunities to grow and develop and not do everything for them
  • Letting kids learn to take care of themselves
  • How to raise responsible kids who follow directions
  • Letting go of the constant need to look perfect in front of your kids
  • Why kids need us to talk about our failures as well as our successes
  • How to teach kids on their level
  • How to encourage kids to find solutions
  • The importance of understanding your values as a parent
  • Creating a family creed to reiterate on a daily basis, and making sure behavior is consistent with the creed
  • The Three Pillars of Parenting—Learning, integrity, service
    • Learning–How it’s not about kids learning stuff. It’s about them developing the confidence that they can learn stuff and overcoming challenges even if they don’t have tools readily available.
    • Integrity to self–if you don’t have integrity with yourself, you won’t have it anywhere in your life. You must follow through with the promises you make to yourself.
    • Integrity to others–if you promise something, you must keep your word.
    • Service–Building connections with other people and performing a service for them to have a fulfilling life.
    • Staying connected to other people while preserving independence
  • As dads, when we don’t have the perfect answer to a question, we blow it off or diminish it instead of admitting we don’t know and exploring it together with our child
  • Developing mental and physical strength, adaptability, and recovery
  • Learning to develop strength to approach problems better, then adapting to adversity and setbacks
  • Recovery–knowing that when everything goes wrong and you’re broken down, you possess the confidence that you’ll get back up again
  • Leading by example–Don’t tell kids to do homework or practice their instrument while you go watch Netflix. Show them you’re a lifelong learner too.
  • How to help kids be better at failure
  • Pulling lessons out of books and real life to show our kids
  • The importance of repeating these lessons
  • If kids are not participating in the family chores, you become their servant
  • How to address kids who do not obey
  • Setting rules–reasonable, unambiguous, consistent, and age appropriate
  • How to undo bad parenting habits with kids
  • Chris’s proudest moment in his martial arts career
  • What we all want to know—who would win a sparring match between Chris and his wife?

Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
Thanks for the support.

CLICK HERE.


Chris Santillo’s links

Website

Amazon

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

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the dad edge alliance


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What was your biggest take away?

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