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comfort zone

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone with your Kids!


Do something with your kids that will challenge you both!  Get out of your comfort zone! This past weekend, my eight-year-old son and I did a three and half mile obstacle race called “The Crusher Race.”

A Race will Get You Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let me preface this before anyone gets crazy and worries if this is “safe.”  The Crusher is not a Spartan Race and not a even a Tough Mudder.  It’s a family friendly event.  It will challenge the participants, but not to the point of anything extreme.  The obstacles are no joke and the run is not easy when you are covered in mud and water.

My son and I signed up for this because we wanted to do it for fun.  However, we got more than we bargained for.  Below are some unexpected highlights from our experience.

The Race got us out of our comfort zone

Doing an obstacle race and being covered from head to toe in mud will definitely get you out of your comfort zone.  When we push out of our comfort zones and we do it with our kids, we get to grow together.  We also have the opportunity to inspire each other and pour words of encouragement into each other.  Throughout the race, I kept telling my son how much he was inspiring me.  He took on each challenge with grit.  He ran fast between obstacles.  He never hesitated.  Here is what shocked me the most…those inspiring words were reciprocated back to me.  My son kept telling me how much he was inspired by me and how much I was helping him be his best.  It shocked me to hear an eight-year-old speak these words even in the face of extreme challenges.

 

Memories for a lifetime

I have no doubt that my son and I will remember the day we dominated the Crusher Race together.  It will be something we will remember for the rest of our lives.

Resources:

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

joe de sena

Joe De Sena on How to Teach our Kids Work Ethic and Mental Toughness


Joe De Sena, founder and CEO of Spartan Race, bases his company on the foundation that we, as humans, cannot really reach our full potential until we have gone through struggle. It’s what he calls “purposeful suffering”. Coming from a childhood where he had to learn, on his own, how to make it, Joe De Sena firmly believes his success has come from this purposeful suffering philosophy.

As we’ve seen many times before on the GDP, some of the greatest success stories have come out of a poor upbringing or incredibly challenging circumstances. But there are lessons to be learned from these situations.

Joe De Sena on an “Attitude of Gratitude”

We are the creator, not just the product of our environment. Teaching your kids that their circumstances do no define them empowers them to face obstacles they will certainly come across in their adult lives. Instead of being a victim of circumstance, help your child, and yourself, adopt an attitude of gratitude. While the situation may be difficult, find the growth opportunity.

Joe De Sena on the value of “Delayed Gratification”

Delayed gratification. Joe tells a great story of how his desire for greater things helped him turn down opportunities for instant gratification, and thankfully, his actions paid off. By showing our kids that putting off an immediate want for something greater, we are giving them the gift of patience and teaching them to plant the seeds for their future goals.

Perseverance

Enough said. The success stories on the GDP are not from overnight successes-those are few and very far between. The true successes, the ones that get to the marrow, are those that are had from great sacrifice and tenacity. When we teach kids that they can conquer obstacles they did not think they were capable of conquering, we provide opportunities to build their self-confidence and lay the foundation for them to reach their full potential.

Of course, these lessons take time to teach, and we may need to learn them ourselves, first, but they are critical for survival in this world. Instead of handing our kids everything they desire and protecting them at every turn, give them something greater: the inner power to reach the best version of themselves.

Resources:

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Joe De Sena

Joe De Sena Book Spartan Up!

Joe De Sena Podcast

Joe De Sena Website Spartan Races

Thanks for checking out this week’s podcast on How to Teach Our Kids Work Ethic and Mental Toughness with Joe De Sena.

overcome weakness

How to Identify, Conquer, and Overcome Weakness – GDP009

“How to Identify, Conquer, and Overcome Weakness” Episode Overview

Larry and Shawn get personal on this episode and share some of the things they struggle with most and how they have learned to personally overcome weakness.

Key Take-Aways

  • Being aware of our weaknesses is the first step to conquering them
  • Implementing a strategy to conquer your weakness whenever you feel it start to arise

Example: Losing your patience – how to recognize it, control it, conquer it

Larry’s 1st Weakness: Patience

A lot of challenges in life, both at work and at home, can wear your patience down. You’ll feel tense and will exhibit tension through your facial expressions and actions. You can be irritable with your partner and with your kids. Check out this blog article on patience by Larry for more insight.

Solutions:

  • Take a few minutes before entering the house after a long day at work to reflect and breathe
  • Say a prayer: The powerful thing about prayer is it that you’re being intentional in your thoughts and actions

Larry says a prayer like this:

“Dear Lord, I don’t have it together today. I know I can’t do this alone. I need your help because without Your help, I won’t be successful. So, I pray that you will guide me to be the best version of myself for my family, and to turn a bad day into a good evening.”

  • Deep breathing
  • Listen to uplifting music
  • Listen to uplifting podcast

 

Shawn’s 1st Weakness: Low Tolerance for B.S.

Shawn tends to be short tempered with his older kids. He’s not patient with them when he knows they could be better at something he knows they can do. This crossed over into his professional career as well. Shawn has a hard time with people who don’t help themselves. However, Shawn has learned to recognize whether most actions or behavior are carried out from a place where the person lacks ability or lacks choice. He is more patient and tolerant when things are done out of lack of ability or choice, but he’s less tolerant when things can be more easily chosen and prevented. Realize that it’s not about you trying to win an argument or necessarily control a situation and be right. Own your feelings.

Solutions:

  • Have the intention
  • Have space to reflect
  • Be aware: Listen to the way you feel and the language you’re using
  • Be more compassionate and understanding
  • Ask yourself: “What is it that this person really wants? And how can I serve?”
  • See your kids/partner/another person: Look at them, listen to them, and remember how important they are to you
  • Tip that Larry learned from someone: Look into someone’s eyes and notice their eye color in the heat of the moment, which forces you take a pause — you can not only see that person, their emotion and the person that they are, but you can really recognize them and makes you able to respond instead of react.

 

Larry’s 2nd Weakness: Work-Life Balance

Larry works out of his house. His home is his office, and his office is his home. Men get wrapped up in the “provider mentality,” which is a hard to thing shut off, especially if they are the breadwinner and especially if they work from home. It can be a double-edged sword: You can be working to hours to provide for your family, but you’re also not able to provide for your time — quality time — to spend with family. You may be physically with your family, but your mind and emotions may not be there, particularly if you’re working while with them. Technology, specifically with emails and text messages, make you virtually reachable at all hours and increases the temptation to continue working. Larry shares an “a-ha!” moment he had with son. It’s a relatable, poignant story. Listen to the podcast to hear it.

Solutions:

  • Turn your phone off — or at least turn off the notifications and put the ringer on silent
  • Leave your phone and/or laptop in the car — or other safe place that isn’t so easily accessible

 

Shawn’s 2nd Weakness: Communication with Children’s Mothers

Shawn clarifies that he struggles in communicating with his ex (not his wife), which can be additionally challenging. He also tended to latch onto his kids more, out of fear, when he dropped them off to be with their mother. He was expecting problems and issues with his ex always being on “defense” when having a conversation with her. What complicates the situation even more is the fact that having children at a young age can cause additional frustration. Generally, the younger a parent is, the less prepared they are to have and raise a child. Plus, when you’re young, you’re still trying to figure out who you are as a person. It’s mostly about being patient and remaining appreciative about the process. There can also be resentment when there is positive change, particularly when one parent is able to move on and do well in life or seems to be doing better than the other parent is currently. Note: Don’t necessarily expect a positive response from your ex at first when you show and communicate positivity with her/him — you’ll likely catch them off guard.

Solutions:

  • Start playing offense and not defense — in other words, take the initiative: In a conversation, immediately look for ways to be helpful and to be of service towards your partner or ex-partner parent
  • Emote positive energy: Be truly caring and loving towards your partner or ex-partner parent as well as what they want and what their goals are, and then be more caring and patient with them
  • Show appreciation when things are difficult, and keep them top-of-mind: Even though you don’t like each other, you must find the things you appreciate about your partner or ex and find the goodness
  • Communicate goodness in every conversation possible, frequently — not just on Mother’s Day or holidays — especially when things are not well between you and your partner or ex, so that you can start to better transition into a much more valuable, healthier relationship

 

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

The Good Dad Project Car Karaoke Session

Check out the video of Larry and Shawn singing a tune in a car, complete with disco ball and colored lights. They’re mic’ed up, so the karaoke is official now — and they’re on some kind of fire!

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