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what it means to be masculine today

What It Means to Be Masculine Today


In this episode, we have invited Nicky Billou, the host of The Thought Leader Revolution Podcast. He is inspired by achievement and is dedicated to assisting others in achieving outstanding results.

But there was a time when Nicky’s marriage was in ruins and he didn’t even want to live anymore.

Today, Nicky talks about the biggest mistakes men make when it comes to marriage and what it means to be masculine today.

What You’ll Learn

Childhood days

[4:36]

Nicky had a great childhood as a Christian boy from Iran. He grew up admiring his father and treated him as a hero as his father taught him how to be a man.

[8:29]

His father was an old-fashioned, masculine man who taught him to be humble. His father portrayed how to show love and affection despite being a manly man.

Marriage

[16:41]

Nicky was married to a wonderful woman. They have two wonderful boys. Their youngest was diagnosed with a condition called Subglottic Tracheal Stenosis, which required a hazardous surgery that caused his wife to panic.

[17:42]

The doctor explained that the surgery would require a tube on their son’s throat and grafts on his body. However, there is also a 20% chance of failure, which could worsen their son’s condition.

[18:55]

Nicky felt that he had to be tough and strong (different from what he would do today), which caused him and his wife to argue often. A couple of weeks after his son came out of the hospital, Nicky was presented with a divorce petition from his wife. This made him feel like he wanted to die.

[20:01]

One morning, Nicky reached out to one of his friends and shared his frustrations. His friend encouraged him that life is worth living, and Nicky was thankful he made that call.

[21:01]

Nicky insists on the importance of having friends around when you have troubles. He encourages people to avoid hurting themselves as it will make life infinitely worst for their children.

Dealing with relationship trauma

[21:41]

Nicky met Owen Williams, an expert in helping men dealing with relationship trauma. He helped Nicky to recover by joining several sessions with men’s group. Two things got in the way of Nicky and his wife getting back together. His wife was not receptive to it at the time and Nicky still held much anger toward her.

[23:06]

Nicky’s perspective changed the day he was asked when he’d stop blaming his wife and when will he would take responsibility for his mistakes.

[25:32]

Nicky learned from Owen Williams that a woman will think about leaving her marriage for two years before giving a hint of that possibility. By the time a woman comes to tell you that she wants a separation, it will be hard to turn that around. Before that happens, wake up, be wise, and be a father to your children.

Buildup of emotions

[29:47]

When Nicky’s wife decided to divorce, he lost his sense of self and self-worth, and it was one of his worst experiences. But when he was in the room with his fellow men, he felt a surge of love and life-force coursing through his body, as if God were speaking to him that everything will be all right through a messenger.

Strength to walk a new path

[32:37]

Nicky expresses his yearning for his children. But even though he could not speak to them, he knew that his children missed him. He trusts God, and he knew that he had a bigger purpose in life. Nicky knew that his calling was to go out there and guide men and families to be of service to their children.

Advice

[40:03]

Nicky admires women and their ability to help each other. That is why he encourages men also to aid each other in times of need.

[42:05]

Going through a divorce means losing 70% of the wealth you’ve accumulated, denied access to kids, and it also destroys your sense of self, making it impossible to be your best.

[43:05]

Nicky is honored to help men be their best for their children their wives. As a man, it is his job to make sure that his children do not suffer.

[48:10]

You need to draw a line when it comes to the people that you associate with. It is even more important as a couple.

RELATED EPISODES:

Strong Men, Strong Marriages with Dr. Mike Frazier

The Art of Masculinity with Johnny Elsasser

The Anatomy of Marriage Part 1: The Woman’s Side


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Nicky Billou’s Links

thethoughtleaderrevolution.com

E Circle Academy

Instagram

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art of masculinity

The Art of Masculinity with Johnny Elsasser


If we don’t know who we are or what’s important to us, we will be driven by outside forces and will lack the strength to show up in our lives with purpose and integrity.

This can lead to a feeling of being lost, powerless, trapped, and alone. Worst of all, it can cause us to dislike the man in the mirror—if we can even recognize him at all.

Today’s guest is Johnny Elsasser. He is a former Army Ranger, a men’s leadership coach, and the host of The Art of Masculinity podcast. He is going to tell us how to create a Masculine Blueprint so that we can identify what kind of men we want to become. In living by our own code, we will always know who we are and where we stand.

Feel the power of living as the person you really are.

Johnny Elsasser

John served in the Elite 2nd Battalion 75th Ranger Regiment with 4 combat tours between Iraq and Afghanistan, and protected the U.S. Ambassador to Iraq for 5 years out of Baghdad. He lost his own sense of purpose when he came back to the U.S. full time and became depressed and alone. This emptiness ended in divorce.

Today, John’s found new purpose in starting his own podcast to shed the light of how alpha men struggle and how they can together. He’s been featured in podcasts such as Tuff Love, Destined to Be, Think Yourself Healthy, and others to teach men how to build a strong foundation in authentic masculinity. John Elsasser is truly on a mission to help as many men as possible own their masculinity in the way that honors them.

The Art of Masculinity

Through a quickly evolving world we are living in today, most men were shown at a young age to act, feel, and conduct their lives in a certain way. The Art of Maculinity helps empower men to embrace both forms of energy—the Masculine and Feminine—so that they can step out of their hard shells and create a life where there’s equal strength and toughness while still retaining fluidity and softness.

What You’ll Learn

  • How to transition out of occupations you identify with
  • If you lack direction, you will succumb to dark places.
  • You feel less than others when you don’t know who you are
  • Look into your subconscious. You’re acting on things you didn’t choose.
  • Knowing who you are, you can through anything.
  • Live and pay attention to the journey. You are having experiences you should be enjoying.
  • Drop the ego to evolve.
  • The toxicity of the bravado mentality
  • Your Masculine Blueprint:
    • Where were your values? Do they serve you right now? Keep the ones that still hold true. Get rid of the ones you don’t need anymore.
    • Look at whom you admire. What traits do they have?
    • Combine your old values that still serve you with the new ones you want.
    • Choose 3-5 of these traits to define the man you truly want to be.
  • You will never have regrets if you live as who you are. You will always love the man in the mirror.

Your Masculine Blueprint Challenge

What is your masculine blueprint? Share it on Instagram and tag us @jonnyelsasser and @thedadedge and we’ll share it in our story!


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John Elsasser’s Links

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andy frisella

Real AF Self-Discipline with Andy Frisella


Today we are beyond excited to have Andy Frisella on The Dad Edge! This interview is the favorite above all other episodes.

If you don’t already know, Andy Frisella hosted the #1 business and success podcast in the world, The MFCEO project, and is the creator of 1st Phorm supplements. Andy is also the host of the Real AF Podcast and the founder of the #75Hard mental and physical fitness challenge.

With a big voice, big personality, and big heart, Andy Frisella, gets real AF about his struggles. He reveals that he naturally is a weak and lazy person, and that only by learning the skill of self-discipline has he developed his unstoppable work ethic and hustle.

He talks about why health must be our priority and how the #75Hard challenge develops the self-discipline we need to accomplish everything we want to do in life.

He also tells us how to practice extreme time management, how to develop true self-confidence, and what legacy really means.

Andy shares stuff in this show that you haven’t heard on any other podcast. Get ready to get real AF about life!

“If you can master the art of feeling stressed but still getting your shit done, you start to become real dangerous.”—Andy Frisella

Andy Frisella

Andy Frisella is an entrepreneur, bestselling author,  highly sought after consultant and public speaker.

Andy is the industry leading expert at customer loyalty, creating fanatical culture and building brick-and-motor and online direct-to-consumer retail businesses.

He has been featured in Inc., Entrepreneur & Forbes Magazine.  From 2015-2019 he hosted The MFCEO Project, the #1 business and success podcast in the world.

On his popular new podcast, REAL AF with Andy Frisella, he and his guests discuss, debate and laugh their way through trending topics and hot-button issues.

“Stand up for what is right, no matter what it costs you.”—Andy Frisella

What You’ll Learn

  • As men, the first thing we shelve is our health. We think we have to throw ourselves on the sword for our families.
  • Everything in life is built from health and discipline.
  • Controlling your hunger for food is a good tool to build discipline.
  • If you can’t control what you put in your mouth, you’re not likely to control anything else.
  • Success is not an excuse to let yourself go.
  • Take negativity and harness it for productive action.
  • Boundaries—don’t feel guilty taking care of yourself.
  • You don’t have to spend energy on people who are not operating on the same level as you.
  • You can learn from bad parenting in your past.
  • Why Andy’s pissed off at men right now
  • Why men today have to recalibrate the way we look at love
  • What masculine energy means to Andy
  • There is no way to please everyone on social media (and in life). The more you try, the more you lose respect from the people who appreciate you as you are.
  • 75Hard helps you more than just by making you look better. It makes you mentally powerful.
  • Why 75 Hard enhances your sex life (and it’s not just because you’re in shape).
  • How to become addicted to strength instead of a good time
  • How self-discipline develops true confidence
  • How a challenge like 75 Hard helps you develop extreme time management
  • Andy’s 4-phase year-long program
  • Your feelings are irrelevant to your results. If you can push through in spite of how you feel, you will be unstoppable.
  • All the problems we see in the world are individual problems. We work on ourselves to help the world.
  • The truth of why Andy is not having kids
  • What legacy really means

RELATED EPISODES

What It’s Like to Do the 75Hard Challenge

Start Reaching Your Goals with an Accountability Partner

How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood


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Andy Frisella’s Links

andyfrisella.com

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75 Hard Challenge

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toxic father

Making Peace with a Toxic Father

Our relationship with our fathers determines how we will be as fathers. But we have a choice. We can either repeat the cycle or use it as a lesson on how not to parent.

Forgiveness seems impossible when it comes to someone who hurt us so badly during the time that we needed them most, but it is the only way to not let the anger rule us as parents. Today we talk about making peace with a toxic father.

Justin Chester’s father was absent most of the time. When his dad was home, he was cold and mean. He’d lock Justin outside during rainstorms and pin him to the wall for not knowing how to tie his shoes.

Now Justin has been married for 3 years and is the father of two sons, a one-year-old and a newborn. He knew that holding onto the resentment and trauma was holding him back in life. In a heroic act of forgiveness, he reached out and confronted his dad to bury the pain. His toxic father cannot take back the past, but Justin is no longer letting it poison his future.

“Stay out of your head. Be okay with the unexpected. Don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone, and enjoy life where you’re at.”

What You’ll Learn

  • Operate within the man that you are.
  • When it comes to a toxic father, what could be instead of what was done to me?
  • Children are supposed to need their fathers, but sometimes the roles reverse and the parent needs the relationship with the child more than the child does.
  • Holding onto anger doesn’t benefit either of person or their situation in life.
  • Justin didn’t seek agreement from his toxic father. He decided to move past it for himself.
  • How to defeat the victim mentality.
  • Stop getting stuck in thoughts about how angry you are. Stop buying into your obsession. Move past and get to a better place so it is no longer holding you back in life.
  • Getting back to having real, naturally flowing conversations with your spouse.
  • Working towards what you want together instead of what you alone want.
  • How to be excited about the adventure of marriage and fatherhood

MENTIONED EPISODES

How to Unf*ck Yourself with Gary John Bishop

Why Should I Forgive? with Derek Stone

Personal Evolution Through Trauma with Stefanos Sifandos

One Last Talk: Your Truth Matters with Philip McKernan


Protect your kids with the Bark App

cyberbullying

sexual content

suicidal ideation

online predators


Leave an iTunes review.
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If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOK HERE

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We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EBOOK: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Follow The Dad Edge


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Modern Man’s Ultimate Guide to Purpose, Passion and Power with David Wagner

Modern life demands a modern perspective. In a world where the meaning masculinity is in flux, it’s more important than ever to step back from life and dig beneath our protective layers to find out what we’re really all about.

Who are we as men?

How did we get this way?

How can we use our relationships with our own fathers to inform the men we will become?

Today’s guest is David Wagner. He is a transformational teacher, a father, and the author of Backbone: Modern Man’s Ultimate Guide to Purpose, Passion and Power.

David goes into several aspects of being a man, but most importantly he talks about the father wound. Even the best dads fall short in some way and create damage that follows their children into adulthood.

David teaches us how to get to know our fathers as men, to witness life through their eyes so that we can forgive them for their shortcomings and learn from their regrets.

Don’t miss this emotionally charged episode. It will forever alter the way you view your relationship with your father and and the way you show up for your children.

David Wagner

David Harshada Wagner is a teacher, pastor, author, and proud father who has dedicated more than 30 years of his life to the path of selfless service, spiritual awakening, and radical self-transformation.

He has been helping people from all walks of life all over the world walk the spiritual path for more than 25 years. His training is vast and varied, from traditional Christian teachings, to 12 Step Recovery training, to the Indian wisdom traditions of Yoga, Bhakti, Vedanta, and Tantric Shaivism. As a teacher and pastor he draws teachings not only from tradition and scripture, but from his decades of personal transformation and his experience serving others to find their authentic path to deep happiness. Most recently, David has been including Biblical teachings in his ministry and exploring a non-traditional approach to the Way of Christ.

In addition to his online global ministry, David serves on the faculties of YogaGlo, Kripalu, and Omega Institutes, and travels widely training teachers and working with people from all walks of life. He is the author of BACKBONE – the Modern Man’s Ultimate Guide to Purpose Passion and Power, and is currently authoring several books including one based on the teachings of the Bhagavad Gita, and one that explores the cross currents between traditionally eastern practices and the teachings of the Christian Bible. David currently is based in in Ojai, California and travels widely serving his worldwide community.

Backbone: The Modern Man’s Ultimate Guide to Purpose, Passion and Power

So many self-help books on the market have a feminine edge and do not speak directly to a man’s masculinity. The message that men have been given so far is that they have to get in touch with their feminine side if they want to embrace change. This book blows this theory out of the water and is a total game changer. It enables men to transform entirely, working with their masculinity instead of against it. Straight talking, down-to-earth and humorous Wagner addresses the challenges that modern men typically face, asking the reader to join him in a series of profound self-examination exercises and questions covering life purpose, male identity, spirituality, self-limitation, sexuality, relationships, fatherhood and more. Every chapter is highly practical and also includes observations and examples from David’s own life journey as well as insights gained from the many clients and groups he has worked with over the years. Men all over the world will be saying: ‘Finally a book that actually speaks to me in my language’.

What You’ll Learn

  • David’s past struggle with substance abuse
  • The power of a gathering of more than two people.
  • Why many dads have regret and remorse at the end of their lives.
  • What is a cis het man?
  • A child’s need for love is infinite. As parents our abilities are imperfect. This creates the father wound.
  • No matter how much we love our kids, we’ll hurt or disappoint them in some way.
  • How the father wound can create a deeper a spiritual relationship with a higher power
  • Though seemingly opposites, David realized how much he and his father were alike after he died.
  • His father lived inside the cage so that David could live outside the cage.
  • Why you should think of your dad by his first name in your mind
  • The power of seeing your dad as a man and getting to know him as a human being.
  • We know dads as gods, superheroes, and eventually, disappointments.
  • How to examine the way you live as a man and make it intentional
  • What inner work you need to do in order to reveal the right way to execute your whole life

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Getting More Done In 12 Weeks Than Others Do In 12 Months with Brian Moran

Stop Doing That Sh*t with Gary John Bishop


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


David Wagner

davidhwagner.com

Facebook

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Amazon

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