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better man

How Your Tribe Will Make You a Better Man with Ryan Michler

Ryan Michler is the creator of the Order of Man Community and Podcast, which teaches men how to live with purpose, achieve self-mastery, and create a legacy. Today he tells why it’s important for men to become part of a tribe and how that tribe will help you become a better man.

Ryan Michler and the Order of Man

Ryan Michler’s father left when he was three-years-old. His first step dad was an alcoholic, and though he wasn’t abusive, he was not present as a parent. His second stepfather was successful, but emotionally abusive, controlling, and manipulative. Still, Ryan didn’t didn’t know what a good dad was supposed to be, so he didn’t know what he was missing. It wasn’t until high school when he saw how his friends’ dads’ behaved that he became aware of the void in his life.

This lack of a father caused Ryan to suffer from a lack of confidence and self-esteem issues. He wanted to be liked and accepted by everyone and changed himself to fit in. After his first marriage failed, he endured the darkest time of his life. He knew he wasn’t operating like a man should. This convinced him to go to work on improving himself.

Now Ryan Michler has been married for twelve years and is a father of four kids. As a dad who grew up without a true father figure, he saw a huge need for learning about what it means to be a man. He started Order of Man to form a tribe of men who can learn from each other and support one another.

Why do men need a tribe?

Women are there for us in a nurturing way, but sometimes we tough love and the insights of other men who have gone what we’ve gone through. Men get emotionally attached to their situations and decisions, it’s difficult to look at our own problems objectively. We need a third-party perspective to give us advice when our thoughts and feelings are clouding our judgement.

How does a tribe work?

Men are raised to be self-reliant and wary of people. We hate to expose our weaknesses or admit when we’re not on top of everything. A tribe is a safe place to share fears and worries about subjects we don’t normally talk about. When we’re going through a time of uncertainty and weakness, we can turn to those with the qualities we’re lacking and learn from them. When we’re feeling strong in life, we can help others by sharing how we’ve overcome a similar experience.

How do we find a tribe?

Operating in packs is how men thrive. To be strong, we need to tie into other people, but it’s up to us to seek out a tribe and be consistent. Ryan suggest dipping your toe in the water. Look at your immediate circle. Who is doing well in areas you’re struggling with? Ask for advice where you see strength in others. Share something light and then build on that. You can also start by joining an online tribe like Order of Man and The Good Dad Project.

Ryan Michler’s Parting Piece of Dad Wisdom

Don’t ever use your kids and family as an excuse not to take care of yourself.

This sounds selfish at first, but it’s actually the most unselfish thing you can do. If you’re constantly draining yourself, you won’t have the mental or physical energy to be a good dad or husband. Begin burned out all the time will build resentment and put a strain on your marriage.

Ryan recommends carving out a time to get together with other men doings something you enjoy. Schedule it in advance. Communicate it to your wife and family so they are in on it you won’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself. He also says it won’t work if you just go through the motions. Give your attention fully to the activity so you’re invigorated and mentally restored when you come home. Then you’ll have refilled your tank so you can serve others again.


RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Ryan Michler

Website:

orderofman.com

Podcast:

Order of Man

Social Media:

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

YouTube

 

5-love-languages

The 5 Love Languages and How They Made My Marriage Thrive

Miscommunication is responsible for many relationships problems, but showing love isn’t just about saying the words.

Today, my wife Jessica is our very special guest! She joins me to discuss the book, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and why it’s so important to learn your spouse’s love language.

In this episode we share our personal experience and

  1. what the 5 love languages are.
  2. what happened in our relationships when we showed love in the wrong love language.
  3. how communicating in each other’s love language allowed our relationship to thrive.

 

RESOURCES

Download this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Get a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

how to love a spouse with cancer

How to Love a Spouse with Cancer with Gene Villeneuve

Gene Villeneuve shares his experience with the very difficult subject.

Today on the Good Dad Project, we have Gene Villeneuve, a successful business man who lives in Paris with his wife and two daughters. Last year, his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and they have endured 11 months of emotional exhaustion as she has undergone treatment.

It’s more than likely we’ll all watch one of our loved ones facing a deadly illness during our lives. Gene talks about dealing with the pain and uncertainty of watching a spouse go through cancer treatment while keeping his career in balance and still being a good dad to his kids.

Three things he said were crucial to helping him know how to love a spouse with cancer.

1. Create a community of support.

Husbands of cancer patients tend to feel isolated and alone, but you will also need help. Just because you’re not the one with cancer, doesn’t mean you don’t need support.

2. Put your own oxygen mask on first.

Self-care might feel selfish during this time, but if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t be strong for your family. Exercise, good rest, and downtime are needed to restore your mental and physical reserves.

3. Listen to what your spouse needs.

As men, we might have a tendency to worry about filling in the practical gaps, like the keeping up with dirty laundry or washing the dishes in the sink. But in reality, a spouse with cancer is frightened and worried. They need to express themselves, and you need to listen to them on deeper level. Then you can love them in the way they need to be loved during this time.

Gene says he now loves his wife more than ever. He says facing a situation like this makes us realize the things we may have taken for granted. We must ask ourselves, what are the things most important to us? What can we do to show that appreciation?

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Get a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Gene Villeneuve’s website – BusinessHealthResults.com

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

GENE AKA "JOHNNY DEPP" :)

GENE AKA “JOHNNY DEPP” 🙂

financial freedom

Achieving Financial Freedom On A Modest Income with Vincent Pugliese

Financial Freedom is a dream for every dad out there.  Think about it, financial freedom means freedom of choice and time.

You and your wife have great kids, a comfortable home and one car (or two). Oh wait- I forgot the flat screen TV (at least one), the boat (possibly), that must-have yearly family vacation, the brand new, front-loading washer and dryer (come on, it’s the only way laundry gets done properly), and anything else that will make your life more convenient. All on credit. It’s the American Way. Even if the debt to have all of these nifty “things” keeps you up at night, it’s ok because you and your family are happy because they have it all.

Debt and Stress

Probably not. More than likely, the stress from the debt of having it all makes life pretty uncomfortable. But there is another way. Vincent Pugliese, author of “Freelance to Freedom,” has been there. After seeing his own father struggle with the loss of a business and then watch him struggle again through mountainous debt, Vincent decided he would never let that happen to his own family. However, even with that promise to himself, he had to find a way out of debt after college, and the birth of his and his wife’s first son. Like an epiphany, Vincent and his wife decided together that they would make sure they did not live the normal debt-laden American “Dream”.

Have A Reason for Financial Freedom

Vincent and his wife knew they wanted to be able to do what they wanted, when they wanted without being burdened by a mortgage or other impending debt. They wanted to be able to raise their children the way they felt was best without the cloud of debt above them. This was their “why”.  

Getting the Spouse on Board with Financial Freedom

No plan goes well without team effort. Vincent and his wife were both in Board because fulfilling a plan like this would mean short-term sacrifices on both parties-maybe cutting out those extra lattes from Starbucks every morning or finding a way to curb eating out.

The Financial Freedom Game Plan

With those elements in place, it’s time to decide how to go about getting out of debt. Set short-term and long-term goals like “we want to eliminate credit card debt within two years.” With this goal in mind, look at your current income and expenses and see how much more money you can throw at your principal balances. You’d be amazed how quickly those balances will shrink.

Vincent and his family achieved their goals in ten years. They paid off their debt, got rid of their mortgage and were able to do everything the family ever imagined. Sounds simple because it is. You can get yourself out of debt, it takes self-discipline and a “why” to make it happen.

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Vincent Pugliese

Vincent Pugliese Instagram

Vincent and Elizabeth Photography

Freelance To Freedom Book HERE

Thanks for checking out this week’s show on Financial Freedom with Vincent Pugliese.

money

Money and Working Together as a Family

Money and finances is responsible for over 50% of the divorces in the US today.  To be honest, money is not at fault.  What is at fault is how we manage money as a family.  The question becomes: “How we can we control money vs. money controlling our family?”

Open Communication about Finances

To be successful as a family unit and manage money properly, we must have an open-line of communication with our spouse and kids.  Literally, being able to talk about money openly can be one of the best things we can do for the health of our marriage.  Running our family and a household like a business is critical to success.  We have to be able to identify cost and expenses vs. income.  Also, it helps if we can identify expenses in our life that are a “want vs. a need.”

 

Managing Family Money with a Weekly Meet Up with Our Spouse

Every single week my wife and I will talk about our bills.  We sit down and do a quick recap on money spent the previous week and what is coming up for the remainder of the month.  We also keep track of what we spend in several different categories (mortgage, groceries, utilities, car, clothing, etc).  When we have reached the limit on one category, we are done for the month and no more spending (with the exception of necessities – we won’t let our kids starve! LOL!)

 

Choose Who Will Do the Bills

In our house, we have tried several different ways to manage the monthly cash flow.  For us, when we both did the bills there were too many chefs in the kitchen.  Plus, my wife doesn’t have the emotional tie money that I do.  Meaning, she is great at not getting stressed when it comes to cash flow.  To be honest, I get very stressed when it comes to seeing money going out.  So, I am not the person who should be doing the bills.

 

Thanks for checking out this week’s Five Minute Thursday on MONEY!

Resources:

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links