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what it means to be masculine today

What It Means to Be Masculine Today


In this episode, we have invited Nicky Billou, the host of The Thought Leader Revolution Podcast. He is inspired by achievement and is dedicated to assisting others in achieving outstanding results.

But there was a time when Nicky’s marriage was in ruins and he didn’t even want to live anymore.

Today, Nicky talks about the biggest mistakes men make when it comes to marriage and what it means to be masculine today.

What You’ll Learn

Childhood days

[4:36]

Nicky had a great childhood as a Christian boy from Iran. He grew up admiring his father and treated him as a hero as his father taught him how to be a man.

[8:29]

His father was an old-fashioned, masculine man who taught him to be humble. His father portrayed how to show love and affection despite being a manly man.

Marriage

[16:41]

Nicky was married to a wonderful woman. They have two wonderful boys. Their youngest was diagnosed with a condition called Subglottic Tracheal Stenosis, which required a hazardous surgery that caused his wife to panic.

[17:42]

The doctor explained that the surgery would require a tube on their son’s throat and grafts on his body. However, there is also a 20% chance of failure, which could worsen their son’s condition.

[18:55]

Nicky felt that he had to be tough and strong (different from what he would do today), which caused him and his wife to argue often. A couple of weeks after his son came out of the hospital, Nicky was presented with a divorce petition from his wife. This made him feel like he wanted to die.

[20:01]

One morning, Nicky reached out to one of his friends and shared his frustrations. His friend encouraged him that life is worth living, and Nicky was thankful he made that call.

[21:01]

Nicky insists on the importance of having friends around when you have troubles. He encourages people to avoid hurting themselves as it will make life infinitely worst for their children.

Dealing with relationship trauma

[21:41]

Nicky met Owen Williams, an expert in helping men dealing with relationship trauma. He helped Nicky to recover by joining several sessions with men’s group. Two things got in the way of Nicky and his wife getting back together. His wife was not receptive to it at the time and Nicky still held much anger toward her.

[23:06]

Nicky’s perspective changed the day he was asked when he’d stop blaming his wife and when will he would take responsibility for his mistakes.

[25:32]

Nicky learned from Owen Williams that a woman will think about leaving her marriage for two years before giving a hint of that possibility. By the time a woman comes to tell you that she wants a separation, it will be hard to turn that around. Before that happens, wake up, be wise, and be a father to your children.

Buildup of emotions

[29:47]

When Nicky’s wife decided to divorce, he lost his sense of self and self-worth, and it was one of his worst experiences. But when he was in the room with his fellow men, he felt a surge of love and life-force coursing through his body, as if God were speaking to him that everything will be all right through a messenger.

Strength to walk a new path

[32:37]

Nicky expresses his yearning for his children. But even though he could not speak to them, he knew that his children missed him. He trusts God, and he knew that he had a bigger purpose in life. Nicky knew that his calling was to go out there and guide men and families to be of service to their children.

Advice

[40:03]

Nicky admires women and their ability to help each other. That is why he encourages men also to aid each other in times of need.

[42:05]

Going through a divorce means losing 70% of the wealth you’ve accumulated, denied access to kids, and it also destroys your sense of self, making it impossible to be your best.

[43:05]

Nicky is honored to help men be their best for their children their wives. As a man, it is his job to make sure that his children do not suffer.

[48:10]

You need to draw a line when it comes to the people that you associate with. It is even more important as a couple.

RELATED EPISODES:

Strong Men, Strong Marriages with Dr. Mike Frazier

The Art of Masculinity with Johnny Elsasser

The Anatomy of Marriage Part 1: The Woman’s Side


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Nicky Billou’s Links

thethoughtleaderrevolution.com

E Circle Academy

Instagram

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strong men strong marriages

Strong Men, Strong Marriages with Dr. Mike Frazier


Our guest today believes the saying “happy wife, happy life” is a lie. If you feel like you’re doing everything right in your marriage and wonder why it’s not working, this show is for you.

In this episode, we have invited Dr. Mike Frazier, the founder of Strong Men, Strong Marriages. Today, we talk about what it really means to be a man and a husband and how you need to define that for yourself. We’ll go through communication, connection, intimacy, and all the secrets you can use to make your marriage strong and exciting.

My marriage looked good from the outside. But inside it was a nightmare.

Dr. Mike Frazier

Mike’s been married since 2005 to his beautiful wife Elizabeth. He graduated Magna Cum Laude in neuroscience from the Brigham Young University, attended UCLA medical school, and went through the psychiatry residency training program at UC Irvine.

What You’ll Learn

How did Mike get involved in being a doctor?

[19:22]

Around age 16, Mike felt like he wanted to go into a counseling type of profession. He did couples counseling as part of his training in psychiatry. But what really pointed Mike in that direction was his own struggles in his marriage. Mike’s wife was actually sex trafficked by her family for many years, from a child up until were married.

[23:53]

Mike’s wife didn’t really trust him. It was hard for her to talk about sex. And so Mike felt like he was feeling not doing a good job. The other side of happy wife, happy life is that if you do enough to make her happy, it’s her turn to make you happy. And so Mike felt like since he’s doing his part, now it’s his wife’s turn.

[25:20]

He realized it was more about building up his strength, becoming more attractive, and that’s what actually worked to create a better and stronger marriage.

It’s impossible that we can make someone else happy

[29:50]

That was the kind of a real breakthrough moment for Mike was he remember he was listening to a podcast by someone named Jody Moore. And she just said this phrase, you are not responsible for your wife’s emotions. And he was like, “what? I’m not responsible for emotions.” Mike felt like he had been let out of jail.

[30:38]

Where do emotions come from? What Mike teaches and believes is that they actually come from thoughts, beliefs, and experiences and that creates a certain emotion.

Moving the “Win”

[32:59]

Moving the win. So instead of the win being “my wife’s happy” the win is “I behaved in a way that I want to impact as a husband.” A lot of really good things happen when you do that.

[36:30]

A lot of men are under that impression of like, if I do X, hopefully, she’ll do Y. And if she doesn’t, it’s going to rub me the wrong way. And after that happens so many times, that’s when that animosity builds.

[40:55]

What you have to do is you have to ask for what you need, want, desire. Do it in a confident way. Do it in a secure way. Do it in an empowering way. Not an overpowering way.

[44:46]

It’s a risk. You have to give up the relationship you have now to get the relationship you want.

What kind of husband do you want to be?

[46:47]

What Mike recommends is you actually write what kind of husband you want to be and visualize it. You start your day with that and it’s clear to you.

[47:31]

The other element that Mike shares is this idea of how are you trying to move your wife? Are you trying to move her into a position of subservience and obedience, or are you trying to move her into a place of freedom and choice?

[50:02]

You have to control the controllable and you have to measure the tactics, behaviors, the things that you do that are going right to help move that relationship forward.

[58:14]

A great way to look at conflicts is it is an opportunity actually for more connections. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

RELATED EPISODES:

Toolkit for an Extraordinary Marriage with Larry Hagner

How to Build a Ridiculously Fulfilling Marriage with Nate Bagley

21 Days to an Extraordinary Marriage


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If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

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Thanks for the support!

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Dr. Mike Frazier’s Links

mikefraziermd.com

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOKHERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EMAIL SERIES: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS


Our biggest regrets in life happen
when we’ve lost our patience. 

how to have more patience

Stop Reacting and Start Living

Do the work. Make a plan. Follow along with simple, yet powerful exercises and tap into the patience that is within you.

Get the Patience eCourse Plus 1 FREE Month in the Dad Edge Alliance

Create an action plan to help you thrive in life and build the legacy you want.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE


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Don’t settle for a mediocre life.

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shana james

How to Access Your Power, Confidence, and Clarity with Shana James

Many of us are frustrated with our relationships. We’re settling for mediocre marriages that we don’t know how to revive. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Our relationships are not the problem. The problem is that we lack the skills to make them into what they could be. Today you will be empowered with those skills.

We are fired up to talk to Shana James. She is a coach, TEDx speaker, author, and the host of the Man Alive podcast. She is here to help us understand what women love most about their men. She is going to teach us how to ask for what we need and what we desire without fear. She also shows us how to access our power, confidence, and clarity so that we can live truly extraordinary lives.

Shana James

For 15 years Shana has coached more than a thousand leaders, CEOs, authors, speakers, and people with big visions who step into more powerful leadership, start and grow businesses, create more effective teams, increase their impact, get promoted, find love, rekindle the spark, create a legacy, and become more personally inspired and fulfilled.

She’s been known for her ability to assess, in just a few minutes, the cause of dissatisfaction and stuck points in her clients’ professions and love lives. Then she creates a clear and unique path for them to have true success and incredible love.

Referred to as a secret weapon, she cuts through distraction and provides direct access to your confidence, power and clarity. She is also a translator between women and men, providing effective tools to transform conversations and dynamics that have gone awry into connection and collaboration.

With an M.A. in psychology, DISC certification, Coaching training, more than a decade facilitating groups and workshops, starting multiple businesses, and helping hundreds of entrepreneurs start their own, her range of skills is unlike many other coaches.

What You’ll Learn

About Shana

[11:14] Shana had a hard time connecting during the pandemic. One thing that brings Shana joy is nature, getting out, and hiking.

[12:30] Shana tries not to take life too seriously as a parent.

 

Things she finds attractive about a man

[13:43] Shana finds it attractive when a man expresses a range of strength, and at the same time, expresses emotions of sadness and fear. She also feels attracted to honesty and communication, and a man with a vision and purpose.

 

Vulnerability among men

[19:34] What surprises Shana is men’s vulnerability towards how they feel. A lot of men don’t have an opportunity to share without fear. This shows up through frustration.

[23:33] It is not just about physicality, it is even harder for men to say that they need love.

 

The biggest problem of a relationship

[25:54] Shana said that one of the biggest pain points of a relationship is communication and be willing to take the risk of having a difficult conversation. What happens outside of the bedroom affects what happens inside the bedroom.

 

Problems and factors that affect sex

[28:46] Women often fall out of the mood when they have on their minds. Sometimes we need to put ourselves in our wife’s shoes in order for us to realize what is affecting their reactions to us asking for physical attention.

 

Difference between Masculine and Feminine Energy

[32:20] Men often slow down if their wife is a stronger woman, but for men, getting things done gives us a more empowered feeling.

 

Listening to your partner

[37:52] Listening to your partner is important. You need to understand how they feel and what they have to say in order for you to understand where they are coming from. This connection will help loosen each other up and lead to understanding.

[40:52] Context of the conversation is important as well. You need to make your partner feel that you will listen to understand, and you need to tell them where your mind is. This will remove her fears and anxiety.

[43:34] On the opposite side of every complaint is a desire. Women tend to have the stereotype to nag. Instead of letting it go, seek to understand why something is wrong.

 

Knowing you can explore more in your relationship

[45:12] You don’t need to know what you are supposed to do. You can explore together. Stay humble and curious.

 

Men Asking for What They Need

[46:34] Men often do not want to feel inferior, so they resist asking for what they need.

[52:41] Rejection does not feel good, especially when you feel that it’s personal.

 

Receiving and accepting your partner’s feedback

[56:37] You need to take in what is happening with your partner, not just in an intellectual way, but in physical and emotional way.

Shana James’s Links

ShanaJamesCoaching.com

Facebook

Man Alive Podcast

TEDx Talk


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOK HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EMAIL SERIES: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Follow The Dad Edge


Don’t settle for a mediocre life.

Join over 531 men becoming their best selves
in The Dad Edge Alliance.

APPLY HERE!

 


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

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pat flynn

Work Life Integration for Dads with Pat Flynn

So much competes for our attention and patience. It feels as though we have to make a choice—family or business. But is it possible to have the best of both?

Today we have Pat Flynn from Smart Passive Income back on the show to teach us how to master work life integration. Pat built his large, online business from scratch and now makes over 200K a month in gross sales. He helps people all over the world improve their lives, all while being an amazing husband and father of two.

You will walk away from this episode with simple, powerful ways to scale your business and spend more time with your family. You’ve only got one life. Make it count!

You get the result you want or the lesson you needed. Either way it’s going to be a win.

Pat Flynn

Pat Flynn is a beloved thought leader in the areas of online entrepreneurship, digital marketing, and lifestyle businesses. He is routinely celebrated for his transparent leadership style and authentic principles. Pat overcame career adversity at an early age by finding his own path and true passion. Despite his success in business, Pat’s greatest joys are spending time with his family and friends as well as helping inspire and educate others on how to succeed with their own entrepreneurial careers.

Pat has been featured in The New York Times and Forbes Magazine for his accomplishments, and has recently been enjoying talking about his story and business strategies in front of large crowds at various conferences and events all around the world. His top-ranked business podcast, The Smart Passive Income Podcast, has earned over 25 million downloads and continues to inspire people as they work through their online business journey today.

Pat is also an advisor to Pencils of Promise, a nonprofit organization dedicated to building schools in the developing world, as well as companies such as LeadPages and ConvertKit.

Superfans: The Easy Way to Stand Out, Grow Your Tribe, And Build a Successful Business

The magical moments that turn your followers into fans.

Customers, followers, subscribers.

It’s easy to just look at the numbers. How many likes? How many purchases? How many email subscribers?

But as entrepreneurs, we have to remember that there are people behind all that data. People who are looking to us to be a leader, to give advice, and to care. They are looking for trustworthy tools and resources, and for someone to help them to achieve their goals. In this dog-eat-dog world, these are the people who are looking for someone who they can trust, and who they know have their best interests in mind.

These are the people, if you connect with them in the right way, who will become Superfans.

You don’t need to change the entire world to build a successful business; you just need to change someone’s world.

People don’t become superfans the moment they find you. They become superfans because of the magical moments you create for them over time.

This book will help you do just that.

What You’ll Learn

  • Pat Flynn was a band nerd.
  • Pat’s father’s perfectionist mindset crippled Pat.
  • Perfection can be used as a crutch.
  • He knew he never wanted money to be an issue in his life.
  • The lightbulb moment that started Pat’s first business, Green Academy
  • How he started by giving all the information away for free
  • What is affiliate marketing and how Pat uses it to generate 6 figures a month
  • Money is a by-product of serving his audience.
  • Men are okay with being unhappy in order to care for their family. But your unhappiness bleeds into your life and sets an example for your kids.
  • Would you tell your kids to sacrifice their happiness for money?
  • When you’re happy, you can serve everyone better.
  • If you look for confirmation that it’s a bad day, you will find it.
  • Sometimes men don’t break into success because they are afraid of leaving others behind.
  • Practice gratitude with your kids every day.
  • How to teach your kids to be open with you no matter what.
  • Don’t be complacent and accept the way things are. Go out and find the right people. To show you how it’s done.
  • What it means to actively listen to your spouse
  • Fights in marriage are necessary. They cause growth.
  • Continue to dream together as a couple. Co-create a 3-year plan. Envision your big goals.
  • How to attain super fans—Don’t try to get millions. Get a thousand who really go for it.
  • Create a place where people can get the help they need along with a community.
  • Pat Flynn says he’s just paying forward what he learned from others.

RELATED EPISODES:

The Art of Negotiating with Your Kids with Chris Voss

Communication Mastery for Fathers with Chris Voss

Will It Fly with Pat Flynn

Pat Flynn’s Links

smartpassiveincome.com

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

YouTube

Amazon

 


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.



Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOK HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EMAIL SERIES: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS


Our biggest regrets in life happen
when we’ve lost our patience. 

how to have more patience

Stop Reacting and Start Living

Do the work. Make a plan. Follow along with simple, yet powerful exercises and tap into the patience that is within you.

Get the Patience eCourse Plus 1 FREE Month in the Dad Edge Alliance

Create an action plan to help you thrive in life and build the legacy you want.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE


Follow The Dad Edge


Don’t settle for a mediocre life.

Join over 457 men becoming their best selves
in The Dad Edge Alliance.

APPLY HERE!

 


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @thedadedge

Dad Edge Mailbox January 2021

The Dad Edge Mailbox January 2021

Today we check The Dad Edge Mailbox and answer some questions like:

Is it possible to have a fulfilling and passionate marriage after the kids?

How do we keep things fresh and exciting over the years and even decades?

In this world of busyness, how can we accomplish everything we want to do?

What are the skills we need to learn to become the parents our kids can always rely on?

Learn these secrets and more in this quick episode!

What You’ll Learn

  • It’s not our fault if we have a mediocre marriage, but it is our fault if we don’t do anything about it.
  • Marriage and parenting skills can and must be learned.
  • Self-care gives us the grounding and inner-reflection we need to be good husbands.
  • How to make date nights more than just a dinner out
  • What respect really looks like in a marriage
  • Drilling down your schedule to 3 daily priorities
  • Time-blocking strategy for productivity
  • Tracking the time you spend on social media
  • Planning your fitness first thing in the morning sets you up for success.
  • Using tactical empathy with your family
  • Creating an environment of psychological safety for your kids

RELATED EPISODES:

The Art of Negotiating with Your Kids with Chris Voss

Communication Mastery for Fathers with Chris Voss

The Dad Edge Mailbox for August 2019

 


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOK HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EMAIL SERIES: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Follow The Dad Edge


Don’t settle for a mediocre life.

Join over 457 men becoming their best selves
in The Dad Edge Alliance.

APPLY HERE!

 


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @thedadedge