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Fixing Your Marriage

Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage with Mort Fertel

We think that if our marriages take work, something’s wrong. Our culture makes love out to be a mystery. We believe we have to be lucky in love to find a happy relationship.

Today, we are going to debunk that mindset. There is a methodology to fixing your marriage.

Mort Fertel is the creator of Marriage Fitness, the most successful marriage crisis program in the world. He tells us that marriage is not something that comes naturally. It’s something that must be, and can be, learned.

Mort reveals the elements that destroy a marriage and gives us the tools we need to take our parenting and relationship skills to the next level.

We also invite listeners to a 30-day challenge that will make effective relationship behaviors a solid habit. Get the secrets to fixing your marriage and more in this episode!

Marriage is like anything else in life—hitting a golf ball, shooting a jump shot, arguing a case in court, or performing an operation. If we can understand and practice, we are more likely to succeed.—Mort Fertel

Mort Fertel

Mort Fertel is the creator of Marriage Fitness, a relationship renewal system that’s been used by millions of people in marital crisis. In addition to his success with couples, he pioneered the “Lone Ranger Track,” which offers people with an obstinate spouse a path to reconciliation.

People from all over the world schedule private tele-sessions with Mort Fertel and seek his counsel by joining the Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp, the most comprehensive relationship home learning program in the world. Mort Fertel is the author of Marriage Fitness Audio Learning System and the host of the “Fix Your Marriage” podcast. Over 3 million people have subscribed to his free report “7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage.”

Mort Fertel is the subject of Back from the Brink, a documentary written and directed by Toroes Thomas, which chronicles people in marriage crisis.

Mort Fertel graduated from the University of Pennsylvania in 1987, was the CEO of an international non-profit organization, and a former marathon runner. He lives with his wife and 5 children (including triplets!) in Baltimore, Maryland.

We have to become experts at catching our spouse doing something right.—Mort Fertel

What You’ll Learn

  • Marriage and relationships work according to universal laws, like gravity.
  • Why people are resistant to get help when their marriage is in trouble
  • Why humility is the number one a quality you should look for in a partner
  • Three Cs that destroy a relationship, leading to the 4th C, cancer of the marriage:
    • Criticize
    • Condemn
    • Complain
  • How to discipline ourselves to not complain and criticize our spouses and children
  • How to express feelings and disappointment without condemning
  • Avoiding “You always… You never…” phrases
  • “The remember when…” technique to encourage more of what you want from your wife
  • How to set your wife up to be your hero
  • Highlight what she’s doing right.
  • Why we should never lie to our kids
  • How to parent our kids without being critical
  • A lack of self-esteem is the root of personal problems in adult life.
  • Punishment creates distance.
  • Connection is the most important thing in parenting.
  • It’s not possible to control a child, only to influence them.
  • Some moments with our kids are not teachable.
  • Sometimes the best thing for a parent to do is nothing.
  • When it comes to time with our kids, both quality AND quantity are important
  • Why we should let a child experience and see the natural consequences of their behavior
  • Always speak in a calm voice. Dignified people never yell.
  • The secret of practicing gratitude and appreciation in marriage.
  • Why we become numb to the qualities of our spouse that first attracted us
  • We pick out all the faults instead of what our spouse is doing right.
  • Being grateful and appreciative does not absolve our spouses from doing things we don’t like, but we should highlight and encourage the good.
  • Forming a new habit takes a tremendous amount of energy initially, but once we get momentum we keep going.
  • What it means to blend ourselves on the inside to stand out on the outside
  • Why we shouldn’t be flashy or behave in ways to try to attract attention to our external appearance.
  • Dress modestly to not make a statement and force people to get to know you inside.
  • Focus on becoming a tower of moral authority and a man of substantial character.
  • The ultimate fulfillment in life springs from character development, not physical and material accomplishments.
  • Gratitude, humbleness, discipline are the most important character traits.
  • The energy we spend on looking good on the outside should be spent reading, being introspective, and in prayer. Working on our flaws.
  • The quickest and easiest thing a guy can do to boost their marriage—catch your wife doing something right every day and make a big deal out of it.
  • The 30-day Challenge—add a reminder in your Google calendar every day to find something wonderful about your spouse and tell her.

MENTIONED EPISODES:

How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood


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Mort Fertel’s Links

mortfertel.com/gooddad

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Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

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Communication with Your Wife

Communication with Your Wife: What You’re Missing


All marriages have highs and lows, but what happens when things never seem to get better? Have you tried to do everything you think is right, but nothing seems to be working? Communication with your wife has broken down. Resentment grows, walls build up, and you look at your spouse and wonder, what happened to us?

Today we have everyday dad and husband, Ryan on the show. He is the thirty-five-year-old father of three and has a fourth child on the way. His marriage fell into a slump, and he knew he couldn’t just leave it on auto-pilot. He joined The Dad Edge Alliance, and in talking with the other members, learned that the marriage problems he had were extremely common and fixable.

In this short episode, Ryan shares what he’s learned to take his relationship from “fine” to on fire, and one communication tip that will totally shifted the way his marriage works.

 

RELATED EPISODES

4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage Part 1—The Individual

4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage Part 2—The Partnership

4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage Part 3—Becoming Friends

Becoming a Legendary Couple After the Kids

FREE GUIDE

The Quick Guide To Improving the Connection and Intimacy with Your Spouse


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If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


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How to Light Your Woman Up

How to Light Your Woman Up with Brandy Salazar


Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. Out of those that stay together, only seventeen percent report being happy. It seems like the odds are against us. Is it possible to take our marriages, whether they are meh or miserable, and transform them into passionate, thriving relationships?

Today we get a woman’s raw perspective. Brandy Salazar, co-author of The Miracle Morning for Couples, is back on the show. She talks about what we’re missing in marriages, communication secrets, and why your wife never seems to be “in the mood.” She also tells us how to get to know our wives on the deepest level so that we have fewer arguments, more fun, and the most amazing sex ever.

Gentlemen, you’ll want to take notes on this episode. Get ready to learn how to light your woman up!

Brandy Salazar

Brandy Salazar grew up in a dysfunctional home. At fifteen years old she found herself living with friends. She didn’t have a high school diploma. But that didn’t stop her from developing a six-figure real estate business. She met Lance and they got married. They had the house, the cars, the overly expensive shoes, but they were disconnected from each other. By the time they had their two daughters, their marriage was over. Brandy asked for a divorce.

Before making the final decision to end their marriage, Brandy and Lance gave it one more shot. What they realized is that they were not bringing their strengths to the marriage. The talents and effort they used to excel in business were not leveraged at home. When they approached their marriage with the right tools and mindset, they’re marriage went from hate and resentment to love and passion within thirty days.

You’re either growing or you’re dying

What You’ll Learn

  • How and why marriages fall into a boring routine
  • What motherhood does to a woman mentally and physically
  • How to focus on goals and a vision for your marriage instead of what’s wrong
  • Using a hat full of questions to become closer
  • The importance of investing in dates
  • Why women can become so overwhelmed and irritated
  • Planning out the logistics of household responsibilities so that everything gets done and you and your woman make space to relax and enjoy each other
  • Why you shouldn’t underestimate the power of taking out the trash
  • Staying curious about your partner
  • Defining partnership roles
  • Breaking patterns of complacency
  • How to communicate what you want without seeming needy
  • What inhibits women the most when it comes to sex
  • How to approach your woman with the same dedication you give to your business, health, or hobby
  • Getting your woman to a place where she feels sexy
  • The secret to leveraging your woman’s cycle for the best sex of your lives
  • How to fan the flame during sexual off-times
  • Switching neediness to desire
  • The right time to approach your woman about improving your marriage
  • Why your wife shouldn’t be your “everything”
  • Helping your wife to find herself again and grow so that she feels confident and empowered
  • Finding out what lights your woman up and brings her joy in a way that makes her more receptive to you
  • Why a woman sometimes takes on a masculine role
  • Why you need to be the servant leader of the household
  • What to do when you try everything you can to make her happy and nothing works

 

RELATED EPISODES

4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage Part 1—The Individual

4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage Part 2—The Partnership

4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage Part 3—Becoming Friends

Becoming a Legendary Couple After the Kids


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If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
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Brandy Salazar’s Links

Relationship Planning Guide

legendarycouples.com

The Momma Wives Tribe

Facebook

Instagram

Amazon: The Miracle Morning for Couples: Create Legendary Connections One Morning at a Time

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

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APPLY HERE!

 


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Tag us when you share on social media!

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How to Become the Master Lover

How to Become the Master Lover with Intimacy Coach Elisa Popescu


Warning: Dads, this episode is explicit. Make sure you’re not with the kids while listening. 

Today, we are going to talk about how to become a Master Lover.

After we get married and have kids, we step into the role of dad. Our wives go into mothering mode, and we lose the all-consuming passion that we felt in the beginning of the relationship.

50% of couples are dissatisfied with their sex lives.  2/3 of couples feel they don’t have sex often enough. Why is it so hard to keep the excitement and attraction going?

Elisa Popescu is an Intimacy and Relationship coach and the creator of The Master Lover Program. She is going to tell us the 5 Core Needs of a Woman and how we can use them to ignite our wives’ sexual energy. She also identifies the 5 Core Needs of Men and how being aware of them will help us take the lead and get back to that primal bedroom experience we crave.

Don’t miss this hot show that will revolutionize the sex lives of both husbands and wives!

Elisa Popescu

Elisa Popescu is an Intimacy & Relationship Coach, teaching men how to bridge the gap between Sexuality & Spirituality and create deeply satisfying relationships with their women, through her V.I.P. Program for Men “The Master Lover” & her popular 90 min Intimacy Breakthrough Session.

Elisa`s gift is to arouse your mind & Soul and help you reconnect to your inner wisdom, sensuality and ability to let loose, in a world that puts so much pressure on us.

Her love for people and education has lead Elisa to create The Shameless Academy, an unapologetic educational platform where through her podcast, videos, coaching & events she hopes to plant more seeds of Shameless Wisdom within every open mind.

Being sexual and spiritual have the same power and importance.

What You’ll Learn

  • Why we become uncomfortable or feel we’re lacking in a monogamous relationship
  • How to think about your intimate relationship so it will thrive:
    • Believe that your intimate relationship is a divine gift
    • Understand that it is the most painful and rewarding process of growth
    • Realize that it’s the purest reflection of the relationship you have with yourself
  • Why our relationships are so satisfying in the beginning, but dwindle as time goes on
  • The stages of a relationship
    • The honeymoon phase – when we are more open to satisfying our partners’ needs
    • Moving into together – when we begin to discover each other’s flaws
    • Blending in with each other – a long-term relationship where a couple must co-create a life together
  • How to use the ‘love bank’
  • Complacency doesn’t mean your spouse doesn’t care. The focus shifts on family
  • The man becomes the protector and provider
  • The woman becomes nurturer instead of lover
  • 5 Core Needs of a Woman:
    • Affection
    • Intimate conversations
    • Honesty and openness
    • Financial support
    • Commitment to family
  • How fulfilling these core needs will help a woman open up emotionally and sexually
  • 5 Core Needs of a Man:
    • Sexual satisfaction
    • Relaxing company
    • Physical Attraction
    • Peace and Comfort at Home
    • Admiration
  • How men who are not connected to their emotional needs act from their lower selves
  • How the sexual dynamics change depending on the role we take. When your wife sees you as dad, she steps into mom mode.
  • Why it’s important to get away to a hotel or different location other than home to reconnect sexually
  • How to flirt and court in a way that your woman will be receptive to
  • Why you should encourage your woman to become mysterious to you—push her to follow her passions, take trips on her own, and spend time with her girlfriends. Who was she? How did she spend her time before she met you? Help your wife create space between who she is as a woman and who she is as a wife and mother
  • Why you shouldn’t try to hide your woman for yourself. You have to allow her to shine.
  • Why sometimes women just need to be dominated sexually
  • What cues women give off for a man to know when it’s time to be primal
  • How to do something different physically to break monotonous modes and patterns
  • If your woman is depressed or irritable, sometimes the giving her sex is the answer. Don’t wait for her to ask for sex. It will put her in a masculine role.
  • Being sexual and spiritual have the same power and importance
  • Awareness is the key to everything. Be aware of both your needs and keep them all in balance.

You can’t revive the chemistry in the same space you lost it.


Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
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Elisa Popescu

Website

Facebook

Instagram

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

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We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

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the dad edge alliance


Learn More About Our Live Event!

June 6th – 8th 2019

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Marriage Partnership

Marriage Partnership in Action

Last month for Thursday Throwdown, we covered the 4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage with Lance Salazar. Over 4 weeks, he broke it down into: The Individual, The Partnership, Becoming Friends, and Becoming Lovers. Today I’m going to talk about the marriage partnership in action.

I applied a quasi business-like approach to working with my wife to make sure we were on the same page when it came to responsibilities. This included a weekly meeting where we “frontloaded” and planned everything in advance, from who was taking the kids to school to what we were having for dinner. We even synchronized our schedule in a Google calendar. Is it worth doing all this tedious planning? How does it benefit our marriage?

Listen and find out!

Don’t forget to catch up with the other episodes in this series!

4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage Part 1—The Individual

4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage Part 2—The Partnership

4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage Part 3—Becoming Friends

4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage Part 4—Becoming Lovers

 

RELATED EPISODES

How to Optimize The Structure of Work, Family, and Fulfillment with Dave Hollis

Becoming a Legendary Couple After the Kids

How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood


Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
Thanks for the support.

CLICK HERE.



Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become one of the 330 men of The Dad Edge Alliance

APPLY HERE!


Learn More About Our Live Event!

June 6th – 8th 2019

CLICK HERE.


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @thedadedge