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money personalities

The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language with The Money Couple, Scott and Bethany Palmer


Money is the number one cause for friction between couples. Out of the 50% of marriages that end in divorce, 70% of them end because of financial issues. This is a staggering number, but money in marriage is not something we are taught to navigate, and we don’t know how to show our kids a good example either.

Today we have The Money Couple, Scott and Bethany Palmer on The Dad Edge. They are financial advisors who got tired of seeing their clients’ marriages destroyed because of money. Together they wrote The 5 Money Personalities and The 5 Money Conversations to Have with Your Kids at Every Age and Stage.

Scott and Bethany reveal the 5 money personalities, the reasoning behind each one, and how we can learn to work with our spouse’s and our children’s money personalities. They also discuss how harmful it is to argue about money in front of the kids and how to use money language to actually bring your marriage and family closer than ever before.

(Look for the link at the end of the show notes to money personality assessments for you and your whole family.)

Scott and Bethany Palmer, The Money Couple

“Over two decades ago, our passion to save marriages was born. As Financial Advisors, for over 25 years,  helping couples, we discovered: money “issues” are not about dollars and cents. Couples struggle to communicate about and agree on money which creates tension, fights, and even divorce.

Couples struggles along with ours,  broke our hearts and propelled us into a decade of research and work with a Stanford scientist to develop The Money Personality Assessment. We now have the Assessments, tools and resources for couples to agree about money and experience a magnificent marriage.”

The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language

The hidden key to a healthy relationship is not just managing money but understanding how the other approaches money.

Every couple argues about money. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married for 40 years or dating for 4 months, money touches every decision you make as a couple―from the $5 cup of coffee to the $50,000 car. And when the two of you don’t see eye-to-eye on how much to spend or how much to save, that’s when arguments turn into ugly toxic fights that leave both persons feeling hurt and angry. It’s why money has become the #1 cause of divorce in the U.S. Obviously, something needs to change. The reason this crisis has not been addressed is because it has never been identified, defined, or given a name. Scott and Bethany Palmer, aka “The Money Couple,” have identified and defined this problem and offer concrete solutions to fix it.

Once you know your Money Personality, you can get to the root of money arguments and start really working together. You’ll discover what has an impact on your loved one’s money decisions, and you’ll learn how to talk about money in a way that’s actually fun! You’ll figure out how to put an end to money secrets and lies once and for all.

It’s not just about money management, and it’s definitely not just about overcoming debt. It is a whole new way of living that will change everything in your relationship. Tens of thousands have already been transformed. Are you ready?

The 5 Money Conversations to Have with Your Kids at Every Age and Stage

Raise your hand if your parents had “the talk” with you. No, not that talk. We mean the money talk.
Money affects you and your kids every day. Now there’s a way to talk about money in a way that actually brings your family closer.

With two kids of our own, we suspect our parenting goals are likely the same as yours—no spoiled brats, no crippling debt, and kids who know a dollar actually takes work. That’s why we wrote this book.

The 5 Money Conversations to Have with Your Kids at Every Age and Stage offers practical advice for dealing with three age groups (5–12, 13–17, and 18 and beyond). It is the parenting “how to” book you don’t want to live without.

  • Conquer the 5 toughest money conversations to have with your kids
  • Discover your kids’ Money Personalities by taking the age-based Money Personalities Assessment (access code included inside)
  • Learn their Money Languages so you can be heard

We give you relationship secrets, share our experiences, and make it fun. Whether your kids are 5 or 25, this book will change the course of your family forever!

What You’ll Learn

  • How huge arguments start from simple differences in how you spend money
  • How money personalities can come up in every conversation you have
  • Money arguments in front of the kids model a bad marriage to them.
  • We think that if we have the perfect cashflow, budget, and retirement, we’ll have a great marriage. This is not true.
  • Opposites attract and then attack.
  • There are no right or wrong money personalities, just different ones.
  • You have to understand which money personality you’re married to and accept that.
  • Why we’re not good at compromising when it comes to money
  • Why you should “never stop getting a PHD on your spouse”
  • How couples might have the same primary money personality, but different secondary money personalities that will cause conflict.
  • Exercises you can do to appease to your spouse’s money personality
  • Family money huddles to discuss E.N.D.s—Evaluation, Needs, Dreams.
  • Dreaming together is important for a couple.
  • What is financial infidelity and how it is damaging to marriages.
  • The importance of understanding a kid’s money personality
  • Teaching kids the financial and relational sides of money.
  • Encourage your kids to work from a young age to instill work ethic (and prevent them from living in your basement when they become adults).
  • You can’t just have one talk with your kids about money. You have to look for real-life opportunities to train them.

FREE MONEY PERSONALITY ASSESSMENT

KIDS MONEY ASSESSMENTS

RELATED EPISODES:

Optimizing Your Personal Relationship with Money — Exclusive Dad Edge Alliance Q&A with Grant Sabatier

How to Raise Money-Empowered Kids with John Lanza

Reframing Your Life for Financial Independence


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The Money Couple’s Links

themoneycouple.com (FREE MONEY PERSONALITY ASSESSMENT)

KIDS MONEY ASSESSMENTS

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Resources

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5-love-languages

The 5 Love Languages and How They Made My Marriage Thrive

Miscommunication is responsible for many relationships problems, but showing love isn’t just about saying the words.

Today, my wife Jessica is our very special guest! She joins me to discuss the book, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and why it’s so important to learn your spouse’s love language.

In this episode we share our personal experience and

  1. what the 5 love languages are.
  2. what happened in our relationships when we showed love in the wrong love language.
  3. how communicating in each other’s love language allowed our relationship to thrive.

 

RESOURCES

Download this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Get a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

strategic gifts with John Ruhlin

The Art of Giftology: Energize Your Business and Personal Life With Strategic Gifts with John Ruhlin

Strategic Gifts are what we call “Thoughtful Thoughts.”  Giftology author John Ruhlin tells us about the science of strategic gift giving and how it can galvanize your business and personal relationships for years to come.

About John Ruhlin

John Ruhlin is the founder of The Ruhlin Group, a gift logistics company that helps clients like the Chicago Cubs, Wells Fargo, Caesar’s Entertainment, Miami Dolphins, Morgan Stanley, and The John Maxwell Company execute year-round gifting strategies.

John’s unique approach to relationships led him to become the #1 salesman for a $250 Million direct sales company. He now speaks widely about strategic gifting and relationship building and helps CEOs and sales teams drive referrals and open doors to elusive decision makers.

John Ruhlin’s Story

John Ruhlin grew up on an Ohio farm milking goats. An overachiever all his life, John didn’t know exactly what he wanted to do. All he did know was that he didn’t want to be working on a farm for the rest of his life.

John Ruhlin says it only takes one mentor to change your life. As a young man, his mentor was his girlfriend’s dad who showed him what happens with acts of radical generosity. When John got an internship with the Cutco knife company, he achieved great success, not by selling knives, but by applying the psychology of deepening relationships by giving strategic gifts.

Now John Ruhlin sends out $250,000 a year in gifts, spending $200-500 per gift. This may sound crazy, but he says that his prospects’ time is worth that much. His small eight-person firm has landed monstrous companies by radical generosity, and when you take into account how much you might spend on restaurants and events entertaining prospects, Ruhlin’s gift expenditures are not so out of proportion. Colleagues, associates, and clients may not remember the steak they ate or the wine they drank, but a treasured gift will make them remember you again and again. It may be mind-blowing, but it’s actually smarter to reallocate resources for generous gifts instead of spending on trade shows or expensive dinners.

The Philosophy of Giftology

Did you know that giving strategic gifts can make a huge difference in your work and family life? For most men, trying to think of thoughtful gifts feels awkward. This is why guys usually ask wives to choose the gifts. So how can you choose a gift that will leave a meaningful impression that lasts?

The last thing people need is more crap. Most of us are overwhelmed by stuff we don’t need or want. But we all have room in our lives for more artifacts – the types of gifts you would save from a fire or pass down as an heirloom. This type of gifting is not a new idea. It’s old school. Our grandfathers and fathers did it. We’ve just forgotten.

Gifting Fundamentals

  • Get the spouse and family in on it – Knives are used every day in a family’s home to prepare food. This is a very intimate ritual and that is why John has had such success in selling engraved knives. His gifts became part of people’s lives. He says “try to find a gift that becomes part of the fabric of the being of that person.”
  • Make everyone look better – Giving gifts that make an executive look like a hero in front of his wife will win you extra points. Likewise, giving your wife an extraordinary surprise in front of one of her friends will amplify the effect of the gift that much more
  • No logo or promotional slogans – Adding branding or contact info to a gift defaces it.
  • No strings attached – Don’t cheapen the thought be hinting at getting something in return. Make it about the other person and they’ll put the spotlight on you.

More Strategic Gift Tips

  • Personalize the gift with the recipient’s and the spouse’s or family’s name.
  • Make sure the gift is accompanied by a handwritten note.
  • Make sure the gift is the best in its class and will last a lifetime or more.

Gifting your family

It’s more difficult to gift on a personal side, and John Ruhlin admits that he was horrible at gifting his wife, but he also says that men don’t really suck at gifting. They just suck at putting time and attention towards it.

Strategic Gift Tips for Family

  • Gift according to love language – Does your spouse appreciate your time, experiences, time for herself? What are those things your kids always want to do that you never have time for?
  • Gift outside normal times – Giving a gift on Christmas and birthdays is expected. Giving gifts on a random day has more impact because it’s not obligatory.
  • Take notes throughout the year – John Ruhlin listens to his wife and kids whenever they mention things they might like and uses Evernote to save gift ideas for later.

Parting wisdom on being a good dad

John Ruhlin is a traveling entrepreneur and a husband, but he also has three little girls all under the age of 5. As a family, they devote a lot of time and attention to cultivating faith.

He, like many parents, sometimes wondered if it’s sticking, but he has seen the power of pouring in core values at a super early age. His advice is that children’s minds can process much more complex concepts than we give them credit for. “Don’t treat them like they can’t understand.”

 

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

 

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

 

Connect with John Ruhlin

JohnRuhlin.com

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Giftology on Amazon