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how to live in the present

Do a Day: How to Live in the Present with Bryan Falchuk


Today’s show is all about how to live in the present. We always hear people talking about it, but how exactly is it done?

Most of us hold onto shame, guilt, and feelings of unworthiness from yesterday. At the same time, we feel constant anxiety when we think about what tomorrow might bring. This ruins any chance of making today a great day and keeps us in a state of fear that negatively effects our relationships at home and at work.

Bryan Falchuk is a life coach, TEDx speaker, and the bestselling author of Do a Day: How to Live a Better Life Every Day. He’s going to give us a formula to help us live in the present moment by confronting our past and removing anxiety about the future. Today is a new day. Go out and do it!

If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you’re pissing on the present.

 

Bryan Falchuk

Bryan is a best-selling author, speaker and life coach. He has faced major adversities and learned how to overcome and achieve. From obesity to running marathons, from career struggles to success as a CXO, from watching illness threaten his family to finding lasting health, he has been through many lessons he used to develop his unique approach to inspiring others succeed.

Bryan’s work has been featured in several top publications like Inc. Magazine, The LA Times, Chicago Tribune and more. He has spoken at multiple TEDx events, and has been a featured guest on over 100 podcasts and radio shows.

While Bryan lives in the US, he has worked and lived in numerous countries and cultures across the world, giving him a truly global perspective.

If you don’t deal with that weight that’s on you, it will deal with you.—Bryan Falchuk

What You’ll Learn

  • What happened to Bryan, the youngest of four kids, when his parents divorced
  • How he used food as a comfort mechanism when he was a child, leading to obesity
  • His love of mayonnaise sandwiches
  • How Bryan had the biggest boobs in school
  • His constant fear of putting weight back on
  • How he’s moved past the fat kid that lived inside of him
  • Now, Bryan exercises because he enjoys it, not because he’s afraid of being fat
  • How most of us carry someone else’s load on top of our own. We bury what we’re dealing with because we’re handling stuff for others.
  • The crucial importance of confronting your past
  • How Bryan failed his wife during the illness that nearly caused her death because he was too reactive
  • The defining moment when Bryan realized he was responsible to raise his son … and he was failing
  • How Bryan justified his anxiety by telling himself that his over-worrying was responsible for getting him this far
  • In reality, Bryan had no self-worth for many years
  • How living in yesterday ruined Bryan’s job
  • If you expect confrontation, you will get it.
  • Your fear makes you throw away the capability you have today.
  • The more you evolve and explore, the more opportunities you will have.
  • What’s most important for Bryan to do every day for his wife and kid
  • How to share your issues without taking the joy from others
  • How to take others’ issues without reacting
  • How Buddhism influenced him
  • The 4 Components of How to Live in the Present:
    • Self-love – the solid ground. Without self-love you will self-sabotage because you believe you’re not worth it
    • True motivation – will keep you moving no matter what. Deep within you, they are the things that choke you up. What will you always care about?
    • Look at your life – Where do you want it to be? What is serving you, what is not? Deal with your issues, past and future.
    • Make a plan for today – How are you going to react? What will you do to change the thoughts and habits that are not serving you?
  • The ongoing process of Do a Day

 

Visit
bryanfalchuk.com/dadedge
for a discount signed version of his book
and other special offers!

 


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Bryan Falchuk’s Links

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TDE Brian - A Father's Last Words

A Father’s Last Words


Our guest today is Brian Froneyberger. He battled stage 4 incurable head and neck cancer. Ten days after recording this show, Brian lost the fight and passed away. He was only forty-six years old. He left behind a wife, a son, and a daughter.

What you will hear today are a father’s last words. They are a gift to all of those who listen. No man knows how much time he has left. Brian bravely opens up about facing death, how it puts life in perspective, and what really matters most before the last goodbye.

His family is now coping with the loss. They are also in trouble financially. The Dad Edge Alliance has donated $1000 to their Go Fund Me campaign. You can help too by clicking the link below.

HELP BRIAN’S FAMILY

Donate via their GoFundMe page.

'You take for granted what being here means ... being able to pick up a phone and talk to your kids.'—Brian Froneyberger #brianstrong #dads #men #fathers #family Click To Tweet

'My gratitude for me is seeing other people smile.'—Brian Froneyberger #lastwords #gratitude #death #dying #parents Click To Tweet

Brian’s Story

Brian was the typical dad and a healthy guy. He coached, worked out, and ate clean. He didn’t drink or smoke. Then in 2015, Brian noticed a spot on the back of his throat. He thought he might have to have a tonsil removed. Then a few months later, he noticed the lymph nodes in his neck were swollen. When he went for a biopsy, they told him the news that no one, especially a father, wants to hear. He had squamous cell carcinoma.

Brian had tell his wife, his kids, and his parents. The good news was that doctors assured him that it was treatable with a very high success rate of being cured. Brian had a great outlook as he began treatment.

His particular type of cancer was caused by the HPV virus. HPV a very common virus that most humans will have at some point in their lives. Most peoples’ immune systems will fight the virus and eventually clear it, but in some cases the virus can remain, causing cancer.

Unfortunately, the chemotherapy and radiation were not effective. Brian’s lymph nodes swelled even more, and he was forced to undergo a surgery called a radical dissection of the neck where doctors removed 23 lymph nodes, muscle, nerves and a section of Brian’s jugular vein. Recovery was brutal, especially because the radiation therapy made Brian’s skin weak, but all in all, it went well and the family was hopeful.

Tragically, within five months his cancer came back. This time, Brian was told that squamous cell carcinoma that recurred was incurable and that he had a year to two years to live. It was a crushing blow after being under the impression that he could beat the disease. It was a conversation he didn’t know how to have with his family.

With new treatments coming out every day, Brian went back to his normal life as much as he could as he waited for a miracle. Eventually, he couldn’t work anymore and his family fell into financial turmoil from the lack of income and the enormous amount of medical bills. Still, Brian tells us how he spent his last days, not by trying to finish a crazy bucket list, but by appreciating the simple moments in life with his family.

What You’ll Learn

  • How Brian and his wife divorced and remarried
  • How his perspective on daily life changed after his diagnosis
  • How important it is to love each other, get a long, solve problems, and talk through them
  • How it is just as important to know when not to talk
  • The balance between teaching kids accountability and also teaching them nurturing and love
  • What inspired him to make memories with his family
  • The amazing t-shirt campaign students and their families organized to help him
  • What Brian wanted to be remembered for
'My ambition to live daily is to live with love.'—Brian Froneyberger #BrianStrong #cancer #dads #fathers #parents Click To Tweet

HELP BRIAN’S FAMILY

Donate via their GoFundMe page.


Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

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Creating A Legacy That Inspires with Armando Cruz

Creating A Legacy That Inspires with Armando Cruz

Armando Cruz is back on The Dad Edge podcast! He is the author of The Legacy Code: Modern Man’s Guide To Escape Obscurity & Live A Life Unleashed, a performance coach, and a father of three.

In this episode, he talks about why building a legacy is about much more than leaving wealth behind for your children. He also gives us his five key steps to purposefully creating a legacy that inspires … starting today!

'You need to be very clear that you are capable of creating this reality for yourself that no one is going to do but you.' – @Armando_Cruz #legacy #men #dads #fathers Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • Why Armando considers himself a ‘connoisseur of experiences’
  • Why he wakes up at 3am to run trails by moonlight
  • What leaving a legacy means
  • The difference between ‘personal legacy’ and ‘impact legacy’
  • How to rank your priorities
  • How to maximize what matters most to you
  • Why he wrote The Legacy Code
  • Why men who strive for something bigger than themselves are more fulfilled
  • Why self-centered people are not as happy or successful
  • The 5 Steps to Creating Your Legacy
    • Awareness
    • Vision
    • Purpose
    • Process
    • Implementation
  • How to push yourself out of your comfort zone by doing things you love to do
Advice for men facing obstacles from @Armando_Cruz: 'Fail more often.' #failure #success #goals #dreams #motivation #learning #growth Click To Tweet

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THE DAD EDGE SUMMIT 2018

JUNE 7TH – 9TH – ST. LOUIS

Are you an extraordinary father looking to accelerate in all aspects of your life?
Are you looking to connect to like-minded Dads that want to come together to strengthen and grow in their abilities both personally and professionally?
The Dad Edge 2018 Summit (Live Event) will set you up to do exactly that.

LEARN MORE


Resources

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Create an Epic Life

join The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance

Shane Ramer

Overcoming Addition and Becoming a Dad with Purpose with Shane Ramer


Shane Ramer, founder and host of That Sober Guy Podcast, comes on the GDP and shares an extremely raw interview on addiction, substance abuse, recovery, and being a dad with purpose.  Brace yourself for this amazing interview with Shane Ramer.

It’s the elephant in the room. Everyone knows it’s there, but no one wants to say anything; better to keep the status quo than rock the boat. No one knows what will happen if the boat is rocked and that is scary. At the same time, we hate the elephant; it is destroying our family, our other relationships and possibly our job. The elephant is addiction and addiction is hard to admit. Shane Ramer, founder of thatsoberguy.com, knows this reality all too well.

 

Shane Ramer’s Childhood and Background

Growing up, Shane turned to alcohol to soothe the pain he endured dealing with a troubled childhood. As he became an adult, Shane realized that he was using alcohol to escape life’s realities and soon came face-to-face with the fact that his own marriage was struggling because of it. He hit a wall. He could not longer stand the elephant in the room. With that, he sat down with his wife and said he needed help. Shane knew he was meant for something much more than where he was.

 

Going through intensive counseling and support from his family and friends, Shane learned to manage his life as an alcoholic. Knowing that he wasn’t the only one struggling, Shane started thatsoberguy.com in order to help other men struggling with similar issues. Today, Shane is a successful businessman, husband and father, dedicated to helping men voice their fears that keep them in the bonds of addiction.

 

But I’m Not an Addict

 

We’re not saying you are, but the lessons Shane discusses reach to all men. Society is great at telling boys that real men don’t cry, “suck it up” and never show emotion. So what do you do with all that pent-up emotion? Maybe you already have a healthy way of showing emotion, or maybe you need a little liquid courage to loosen up or just maybe you can’t get to work in the morning without your daily beer. Wherever you are on the spectrum, the learning to deal with fears and emotions without bottling them up will make you and those around you much happier.

 

It’s Ok to Talk About It

 

Again, we men are great at helping others solve their problems. That’s what we think we are here for. Our own problems? What problems? Oh! You mean the ones we don’t talk about? Well, we’ll be fine. Will we? Take a look at your own life and think about areas where your bottled-up emotions eat away at your true self. What is the worst thing that is going to happen if you talk to someone about your issues? You actually may deal with them? Whoa. What about your Man Card? Guess what, it’s safe and secure and probably in better condition than it was when you kept your fears and feelings to yourself.

 

Be A Man

 

Being a man means owning up to all areas of our lives. Even our fears. Showing up as the best dad, husband, employee and friend takes guts. Owning our issues takes even more guts and grit. You’ve got it in you, so be the best man you can be right now.

Resources:

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Shane Ramer:

Shane Ramer Twitter

Shane Ramer Website

Shane Ramer That Sober Guy Podcast

Shane Ramer Private FB Page (invite/request entry only)

discover your mission

How to Discover Your Mission as a Dad – GDP023

Episode Overview

When you think of your legacy, what comes to mind?  I’m not talking about the materialistic things you will leave behind.  I’m talking about how will you be remembered?  What will your kids and family say about you several years from now?

When it comes to being a Dad, it’s a tremendous responsibility. It is by far the most important job we will ever have as men.  Unfortunately, the resources to help dads are minimal.

Think about it for a minute…

How often do we take time to sharpen our skills as fathers?  The fact is the resources to do so are far and few between.  The journey of fatherhood is a “learn as we go process.”  There isn’t a roadmap and at times being uncertain can wreak havoc on our confidence as Dads.

Think about the last time you started with a new company.  Did you go through training to learn all about the new company, products, processes, systems, and mission?  Absolutely!  Not only did you go through in-depth training, but there was most likely an entire department dedicated to just training the new hires.

However, we don’t see these opportunities offered to the everyday Dad.  Most men truly desire to be our best and we want a roadmap.  We want guidance.  We may not admit it on the exterior, but deep down, we desire improvement, challenge, growth, and guidance.

Key Takeaways:

  • You will discover your mission as a father
  • You will discover what is most valuable to you
  • You will uncover your what your legacy will be
  • Most importantly, you will discover your personal “Why”

 

A Dad’s Mission

Think of any big corporation in the world.  Just about all of them have a mission statement that is at the very core of their business.  Mission statements are a clear set of core values and how a company will conduct business.

For Example:

Apple – Apple designs Macs, the best personal computers in the world, along with OS X, iLife, iWork and professional software. Apple leads the digital music revolution with its iPods and iTunes online store.

Microsoft – At Microsoft, our mission is to enable people and businesses throughout the world to realize their full potential. We consider our mission statement a commitment to our customers. We deliver on that commitment by striving to create technology that is accessible to everyone—of all ages and abilities. Microsoft is one of the industry leaders in accessibility innovation and in building products that are safer and easier to use.

What does a mission statement have to do with being a dad?

What does a mission statement have to do with being a dad?  Being a dad is by far the most important job for a man.  So, if it’s the most important job for us dads, shouldn’t we too have a mission statement?  Shouldn’t we have a clear set of core values?  Absolutely.

For the past two years, I have had the honor of hosting workshops for men to teach nine distinct strategies to help improve their lives.  The first thing the participants do is discover their own personal Dad Mission Statement.  I have hosted workshops for hundreds of men to date and I have yet to meet one man who has put pen to paper and has written down their core set of values and desired legacy before attending my workshop.  It is truly inspiring when the participants discover their own personal mission statement.

Why is this important?

If we don’t know what we want out of our dad journey, how can we enjoy it to the fullest?  How can we pass something down to our kids if we don’t know what that something is?

I wanted to share a great example of a Mission Statement from a participant at one of my recent speaking events.  The reason I share this with you is because it was truly inspiring.  It is so specific and heartfelt.

“My home will be an environment of love and learning.  I will not only be available to my children, but I will be engaged in their lives.  I will show affection.  I will teach respect and discipline. I will be the rock of faith and strength for my family.”

I would like to challenge you to draft your own mission statement.  Clearly define what is most important to you and what you want your legacy to be.  It doesn’t have to be perfect.  It simply has to be yours and what is most important to you.

The Why:

There is one thing that is even more important than your mission statement…”YOUR WHY.”  Your “Why” clearly defines the reasons for your mission statement.  Your “why” will keep you focused and will keep your heartfelt mission moving forward despite challenges you will face along the way.  For most of us dads, our “why” is defined by wanting to pass down what we have learned from our own upbringing or it is defined by breaking a pattern of a negative childhood experience.  For example, I wanted to share the “why” from the same participant above to really hit this point home.

“I want to give my kids what I didn’t have growing up.  I want my kids to remember their childhood and the guidance I provided in a very positive way.  Being the best version of myself as a dad, I am honoring God.”

At the end of the day, our “why” is our motivation.  Our “why” will keep us moving in the right direction.  Our “why” gets to the very core.

I would encourage you to discover your why.  Chances are you know exactly what it is, but most likely you have never written it down.

Shawn and I wanted to share our Mission Statements and our Why:

Larry’s Mission:

I want to raise confident young men.  I want to create an atmosphere of love, certainty, creativity, and affection.  I want to lead by example and teach my boys how to be good men and how to be a good husband by how I treat their mom.

Larry’s Why:

I want to give my kids what I didn’t have growing up.  I want to provide fatherly affection and positive guidance.  I want to teach them how to be a good dad by being a good dad for them.

Shawn’s Mission:

To demonstrate what love, kindness, consistency, service and perseverance look like.

I also strive to demonstrate directly how to have fun – how to love and be loved by my spouse – to demonstrate how to have standards without being malicious – to show that you can literally create anything in your life if you surround yourself with good people and you’re willing to work for it. – To show them that it is possible to blur the lines between work and play and love what you do. – To encourage them to share their gifts.

Shawn’s Why:

I want to create a space for my kids to grow and develop – to have a model/a framework that I never had. I want my children to be inspired by me. I want them to be proud that I’m their dad.

Free Resources:

 

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

 

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