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Three Types of Men & What They Mean

Three Types of Men & What They Mean

There are three types of men in this world and each category defines a specific stage of personal growth that each man experiences in their life. The first category is “the victim.” The victim is a type of man who blames his shortcomings and faults on outlying factors. For example, a victim might not show affection toward his wife and kids and then blame it on his parents not showing him any affection. This type of man will find proof to justify his actions and faults just to make himself feel better. For example, he may start eating healthy, go off on a food binge, and then blame it on the fact that he has never been able to eat healthy.

The “content zombie” is the next stage of personal development. This is the stage where the man recognizes he needs to make a change before his marriage or his relationship with his kids falls apart. He reads all of the podcasts, articles, goes to conferences, gets counseling – the works. The only issue with this stage is that there is no action. The content zombie has acquired all of the information necessary to change his life, yet hasn’t taken the action to execute it yet.

The last phase of personal development, and the phase that men should spend the largest portion of their time in is the “executor phase.” This is the stage where the man has finally begun to take some action and uses accountability to keep him honest. For example, you have begun asking your wife insightful questions about your relationship such as, “What are some things I do that make you feel the most loved?” You not only ask her this question, but you also have an accountability partner that you relay this outcome with so that you can stay on top of the development process.

There comes a point in your life when you have to make a choice. You have to decide that if you died today, what kind of legacy would you leave in your wife and children. Would they carry on that legacy into their lives? Would you have made an impact that would carry on through the generations? If you said no to any of these questions, it’s time to make a choice. Do you go on living your life? Or, do you make a choice and decide to live legendary?

 

What You’ll Learn: 

Three Types of Men

[2:27]

There are three types of men and each category represents a specific stage in personal development.

[3:51]

The Victim

[10:18]

Content Zombie

[13:11]

The Executor

[16:47]

Staying in Camp 3

[18:32]

What camp are you living in right now?

RELATED EPISODES:

Finding Your Identity Through Defining Moments with Ilan Muallem

Emotional Intelligence Skills for Men with Dr. Nick Sotelo

Marriage Skills for Men


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Everything is Gonna Be Alright, Alright, Alright with Matthew McConaughey

Matthew McConaughey

Alright, alright, alright is the famous phrase coined by the illustrious Matthew McConaughey. He is an actor, father, husband, and author. When Matthew was younger, his father instilled in him three principles for life – “Don’t say can’t,” “love, don’t hate,” “tell the truth, don’t lie” and he has carried these principles throughout his life.

Matthew McConaughey has acted in over 50 films and is the co-founder of the Just Keep Livin’ Foundation alongside his wife, Camila. The two have three children and currently reside in Austin, Texas. Throughout his life, Matthew has learned that putting the energy into your family will produce results far greater than if you go it alone. He recalls his wife saying, “You go, we go” when they were deciding whether or not to have children. Since having three children, Matthew has been cultivating a closeness with his children that leaves a legacy for years to come.

In his book Greenlights, Matthew talks about how he wants his life to read like an unfiltered, unedited version of himself. His whole life has been dedicated to this persona of an actor that everyone is familiar with. Leaving a legacy is all about the raw, unedited moments of our lives; the ones where we’re not perfect and we do make mistakes. These are the moments that define who we are, not who everyone else thinks we are.

What You’ll Learn: 

Humble Beginnings

[1:20]

Any real dad knows that being a father is more than just making a baby.

[2:22]

Matthew recalls his 50th birthday party where two hundred of his closest friends came together and they all started to become good friends. He says that this brought him joy because he wasn’t even a part of the situation and yet the people that he had brought together, were making friends with one another.

[6:53]

Matthew recalls his wife telling him, “You go, we go,” and at that moment, he realized that she was in it for long haul.

[8:50]

Matthew remembers talking with three different actors who chose to put their focus toward their work instead of their family and have since regretted it. Matthew has found the balance between both because he brings his family with him wherever he goes.

[11:39]
Put the energy into your family and you can never go wrong. To teach your kids the power of consequence is much harder than being the yes man by letting them figure it out themselves.

Lessons Ingrained in the Learning

[16:11]

Matthew recalls his father’s talk with him about treating women with respect.

[18:14]

Matthew’s father instilled in him three values that would later become habits that he would teach his children:

-Don’t ever say you can’t

-Love, don’t hate

-Tell the truth, don’t lie

[21:50]

Don’t half ass it.

[22:52]

Matthew recalls calling his father and telling him that he wanted to go to film school instead of law school.

[26:04]

Acting was the first thing that Matthew ever did that wasn’t a fad. He recalls his father being alive for the five days into his acting job before he passed away.

Keeping the Marriage Alive

[28:52]

Sometimes our lives become consumed with being parents that we assume our spouses are okay. Matthew tries to balance pursuing his wife by setting aside time and also having a full-time career. Nobody likes to schedule romance.

Life is a Movie

[34:04]

Matthew recalls a section from his book Greenlights that talks about directing his life like a movie. He talks about getting rid of the filters in life and becoming the raw, unedited version of himself. Life is the greatest art. Our main problem is that we think it’s too hot before it even gets warm.

10 Year Celebrations

[40:18]

Even though his family will eventually spread out over the world, Matthew hopes that they will have maintained that close relationship with him. He wants to be his children’s best friends.

RELATED EPISODES:

No Excuses Fatherhood with Wes Watson

Own Your Career, Own Your Life with Andy Storch

Marriage Partnership in Action


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Inheritance is Temporary, Legacy is Forever with John Ramstead

John Ramstead

John Ramstead is a husband, father, entrepreneur, and author of On Purpose, With Purpose. Ramstead knew from a young age that he wanted to be a pilot. However, when he got to college and was enrolled in the ROTC program, he never believed that he had what it took to be a pilot. After an inspiring talk with his father, John decided that he was going to take aviation classes and become a pilot. Throughout his studies, John had a mentor that held him accountable and challenged him to be the best that he could be. Ramstead finished first in his graduating class and got to pick the plane of his choice.

After John retired from the Navy, he became an entrepreneur and founded the company Beyond Influence. In 2011, John encountered an accident that would alter the course of his life forever. During a work retreat, John was riding on a horse that bucked him off and sent him straight into a steel pipe, shattering his skull. The doctors told his wife and kids to fill out a living will because he was not going to make it. During his time in the hospital, the Lord spoke to John and told him that he would heal him. From that moment on, John decided to save the relationship with his wife and children and become the husband and father he was meant to be.

Marriage is all about skill. You can’t just walk in and expect to wing it on the first try; it takes patience, practice, and most importantly – SKILL. Having a healthy relationship with your kids works the same way too. It’s not about getting them to be on their best behavior, it’s about bringing out the best in them, no matter if it’s different than how you imagined. When John was near the end of his life, he discovered that it’s not about what you leave for your family, it’s about what you leave in them. That is the difference between inheritance and legacy – legacy is forever, inheritance is temporary.

What You’ll Learn: 

Problems in Marriage

[8:29]

John talks about how his marriage wasn’t good and how his actions created tension that would later lead to some difficult conversations.

John’s Career as a Naval Pilot

[17:34]

During college, John studied to be an engineer and spent a month on a submarine. Always had a dream to be a pilot since he was a little kid. He had to change his perception of his self image. 

The Importance of Mentorship

[21:35]

Find people that do what you want to do and learn from them. Make them hold you accountable so that you can be successful.

[24:40]

We’re all in a competition called life. However, if we try to help each other rather than trample each other, we will build much better relationships.

John’s Accident Circa 2011

[26:53]

Started a company in 2011. Went on a retreat in Montana and got into an accident while riding a horse.

[38:10]

The Lord spoke to John and said, “All things work together for good for those that love the Lord” and told him that he was going to heal John.

Inheritance and Legacy

[42:10]

As his family was preparing for his funeral, John started thinking about inheritance, which quickly turned into legacy. John recalls thinking about the kind of legacy he would be leaving if he died. He questioned what he had left in his wife and his children, rather than what he left for them.

Second Chances

[43:20]

John realized he had been given a second chance. What does success look like in fatherhood? He had to become a better version of himself.

Purposeful Love Specific to Each Child

[49:55]

As fathers, we need to slow down individually and understand how we’re wired. Using self-awareness helped John to see each one of his kids more clearly.

[57:07]

On becoming a coach, John recalls how important it is to ask questions and listen. Also, taking what a person has said to them, rephrasing it, and feeding it back to them in a way they can understand. Do it from a place of curiosity, not judgment.

[58:48]

John shares examples of how he overcame anger in order to listen to his son’s needs.

RELATED EPISODES:

A Dad Legacy – 4 Lessons of Life

Creating A Legacy That Inspires with Armando Cruz

Strong Men, Strong Marriages with Dr. Mike Frazier


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Leave Behind for Your Kids

The Ultimate Gift to Leave Behind for Your Kids


If you were to leave the world right now, what would you want your kids to know? What would you tell them about the way you feel? What advice would you give to take them through the rest of their lives? Today we talk about the ultimate gift to leave behind for your kids.

Blake Brewer lost his dad in a tragic accident when he was nineteen. Their relationship was cut short, but during the heartbreak and grief, Blake’s mom handed him a letter that his father had written to him. This legacy letter not only helped Blake cope with the loss, it also made it possible for him to take his father’s words with him throughout the rest of his adult life.

In honor of his father and the powerful gift he left behind, Blake Brewer is on a mission to help 1 million dads write at least one meaningful, heartfelt letter to their children with the Legacy Letter Challenge.

Blake knows that writing a legacy letter is a huge undertaking. What do you say? How do you say it? He talks about how to compose a legacy letter and how its effects will ripple through generations to come.

 

What You’ll Learn

  • Blake’s dad was Terry Bradshaw’s tight end.
  • His father struggled to connect with kids when he got older.
  • After Blake’s freshman year in college, they planned a pinnacle family trip to Hawaii.
  • Blake and his dad went to the beach to go swimming, just the two of them.
  • As they went further out into the ocean, the waves got bigger.
  • His dad tried to get out. He yelled for help. Blake eventually got to him, and with the help of another swimmer, pulled his dad to shore.
  • Blake pulled his unconscious dad from the water.
  • His father was pronounced dead at the hospital.
  • What started off as one of the best days of his life became the worst nightmare.
  • While still in shock about his father’s death, Blake’s mother told him that his dad had been working on a letter to him, even though he had no idea he would die.
  • The letter helped Blake through his grief. He didn’t run from his pain. Instead he grew more in his faith, which would’ve never happened without the legacy letter his dad wrote.
  • No one is promised to live till old age, and many dads struggle to connect with their kids.
  • Blake helps dads put words to what is in their hearts and minds.
  • In a world with so many distractions, we can’t let the world be the main influence on our children.
  • A legacy letter is a lasting gift that can be reread whenever your children need it.
  • How the process of writing the letter helps dads articulate their feelings into a mission statement
  • Why Blake is determined to help a million dads write a legacy letter

THE LEGACY LETTER CHALLENGE

GET 10% OFF with coupon code EDGE

WRITE YOUR LEGACY LETTER NOW

 


Protect your kids with the Bark App

cyberbullying

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legacyletterchallenge.com

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man's soul

The Fires of a Man’s Soul with Stephen Mansfield

You only get one life, and you want it to be legendary. How can you break free from the mundane and live for what fires up your soul?

Today we are honored to have Stephen Mansfield back on The Dad Edge to talk about his new book Men on Fire: Restoring the Forces That Forge Noble Manhood.

Stephen teaches us about The Seven Fires of Manhood, including heritage, battle, friendship, and legacy. He tells us how we can have those hard conversations with our children so that they will be able to face the evils of the world. He also talks about why it’s important to have a circle of friends we would die for, men who are not afraid to tell us what we can’t see about ourselves.

This is an unforgettable show that will leave you excited about forging a noble legacy. Get ready to stoke the fires of your soul!

Don’t just be a male. Be a man. Be a Great Man.

Stephen Mansfield

Stephen Mansfield is a New York Times bestselling author and a popular speaker who also leads a media training firm based in Washington, DC.

Stephen’s humorous but fiery “Mansfield’s Book of Manly Men” has inspired men’s events in the US and abroad. Stephen speaks widely about men, leadership, faith, the lessons of history, and the forces that shape modern culture. His media training firm, The Mansfield Group, has worked with top politicians, CEOs, rock stars, major publishing firms, and educational institutions around the world.

Mansfield lives in Nashville and the nation’s capital with his wife Beverly, an award-winning songwriter and producer.

Men on Fire: Restoring the Forces That Forge Noble Manhood

Men are in crisis. From every direction, they are presented with a deformed masculinity. One that sees women as conquests rather than partners. One that values success at work over success at home. One that hinders true and open friendships with other men who hold them up and hold them accountable. One that presents them as either the bumbling, disconnected dad in sitcoms or the predator in movies and video games (and the news). Men were made for more than this. It’s time to rekindle the fire living inside of them and awaken them to the value of valiant, righteous manhood.

Through inspiring stories and hard-hitting biblical truths, Stephen Mansfield uncovers the seven fires that ought to burn in a man’s soul–the fires of destiny, heritage, friendship, love, battle, legacy, and God. This raw guide to the restoration of a noble, honorable manhood will challenge men of every generation to live well, invest in others, and leave a powerful legacy.

“You have a destiny, but your destiny is fulfilled by investing in the destinies of others.”—Stephen Mansfield

What You’ll Learn

  • Keep an open discussion going with your kids about sex by creating an easygoing vibe for all conversations.
  • Shame has screwed up sex for generations.
  • We don’t need to be nervous about having “the talk” with our kids. Get comfortable.
  • Society is pressing our kids earlier and more harshly than ever. Parents need to swoop in early. Let them hear it from you first.
  • Give it to them straight. Be a two-way channel that always radiates peace and calmness. Your child will feel safe to open up.
  • How Winston Churchill reframed and built on his neglectful father’s legacy in a positive way.
  • The Fire of Heritage—Don’t focus on the shortcomings of your parents and ancestors. Find the powerful things in your family story and use them for strength.
  • You may have a bad father but build on what you can learn from him.
  • Keep your family legacy alive and hand the stories down to your children.
  • Men are meant to be warriors. We are peacefully at war at all times.
  • How to win the battle for ourselves and against “the stupid within.”
  • Every man is fighting a great battle of some kind, and the goal of coming together as a band of brothers is to join them in that battle.
  • A man has got to know how to go to work when he is faced with problems and ask others to help him.
  • Bitterness makes us feel entitled. Entitlement feeds addiction and the victim mindset.
  • The decline of real male friendships leads to a less fulfilling life.
  • Who are you fighting for and who’s fighting for you? Do you have five men you would die for?
  • Free-Fire conversations–Talking with men you trust about anything that needs to be addressed to make your life better or theirs.
  • The power of living an examined life

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Building Your Band of Brothers with Stephen Mansfield


Protect your kids with the Bark App

cyberbullying

sexual content

suicidal ideation

online predators


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Stephen Mansfield’s Links

stephenmansfield.tv

greatmen.tv

Facebook

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Resources

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The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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