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how to be the go to guy for your kids

How to be the Go-To Guy for Your Kids


How insane is it to be a parent these days? Now, think about what your kids are going through. How can you be the go-to guy for your kids when they are struggling?

Today we have Dad Edge Alliance member and elementary school teacher Charlie Moynahan on the show. Not only is he fathering two boys, as a teacher in a poor area, he is often the only consistent person in his students’ lives.

Charlie tells us how to help kids become resilient and self-reliant. He reveals how he helps students deal with learning challenges, bullies, and adversity. He also teaches us the tools he uses to raise respectful, responsible, and loving kids.

Childhood is not for the faint of heart.

Charlie Moynahan

“If you realized your ability to shine – in the classroom, in your career, in your community – was simply a result of you focusing on productive choices, how much more impactful would you be, and for whom? This question rattles me daily as I struggle to show up and be the best dad I can be to my two young boys (ages 4 and 2). Proudly, I spend a lot of time in reflection and am on a quest to help my boys (and in turn, other people) find their shine. Over the past seven years, I have sharpened my saw as an elementary educator in Sacramento, California, working with multi-generational families to improve their outlooks and align their children’s goals towards success. My first published book, Tanzen and the Yellow Light, appeals to upper elementary/middle school grade fiction readers.”

Tanzen and the Yellow Light

Tanzen is a 5th grader at Luther Elementary School, and while he doesn’t fully understand his dreams lately, he soon realizes that his core group of buddies is having similar dreams. When Tanzen wakes one morning and sees orange and black fur on his arms, a million questions start popping into his head. Questions like, “What is happening to me?”, “Can I roar super awesomely?”, and “What’s for breakfast, again?”Tanzen soon finds out that his friends are also experiencing odd abilities that don’t quite add up. Famed school bullies, Brenda and Jeremy, are working alongside a dangerous group of Shifters that have the same abilities as Tanzen and his friends, but come together for damaging purposes. When one of Tanzen’s crew gets taken and sent to the Zanimal World, they have no choice but to pursue, at all costs. A surprise schoolhouse attack pushes the group towards a battle of good versus evil before they’ve even had a chance to train with their teacher and mentor, Mr. Cherry! Will the crew be able to band together, face increasingly complex Zanimal challenges, and save their friend… in between classroom chaos, cooties, and cafeteria food? Find out by joining Tanzen, Amaya, Leo, and Jay as they stumble, crash, slip and slide their way into… Zanimal World!

I don’t want to drive their life. I want to help them figure it out.

What You’ll Learn

  • How to become the go-to guy for your kids
  • What it means to give kids solid counsel
  • Affirmation for kids—be respectful, be responsible, be loving
  • How to get kids onboard to work for a common goal
  • Teaching kids to regroup and restrategize when things don’t go their way
  • Understanding why bullies behave the way they do and teaching kids how to handle them
  • Showing kids how to rise to challenge
  • Making it clear to kids that their parents, their grades, and their clothes don’t make them who they are. It’s character.

RELATED EPISODES

Strong Fathers, Strong Kids with Meg Meeker

Resilience Parenting Through Uncertainty with Holly and Chris Santillo

A Father’s Guide to Bonding with Sons and Daughters with Michael Gurian


Our biggest regrets in life happen
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Charlie Moynahan

moynathoughts.com

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To the Beat of Your Own Drum

Are you living as your true self? Or have you built your life around someone else’s idea of who you’re supposed to be? And if you feel like you’re living a lie, how can you drown out the noise of the world and march to the beat of your own drum?

Today we have an everyday dad and extraordinary person from the Dad Edge Alliance. Chris Lesso is the founder of Your Best Self Through Drumming and is an expert on optimizing the power of drumming to improve focus, confidence, and self-expression.

Through the metaphor of music, Chris explains how each of us has a different drum beat and how we can connect with our best selves by letting our voices be heard. He teaches us how we can become aware of our unique rhythms so that we can better lead our families and keep the beat for our own song of life.

Chris Lesso

Chris Lesso is an expert on optimizing the power of drumming to improve focus, confidence, and self expression in music and in life. LTR (Life Through Rhythm) is an attitude and way of life, brought forth through drumming compositions, musical performance, and education, using drumming as a force to reach our fullest potential and live the art of possibility.

Chris began his journey early, drumming and playing piano at the age of 7, and has never looked back. He has studied with world renowned educators Dom Famularo, Jim Chapin, Jim Blackley, and in India with Swapan Chaudhuri. A lifelong student of the craft, he sought out to play with the best musicians in the world, touring internationally with Wild T & The Spirit, Cavalia Odysseo, and many others.

Combining a fascination of history with pushing the edges of future evolution, Chris leads his own band modus factor, featuring world renowned musicians Brownman (Jay Z, Dave Matthews Band) and Ian DeSouza (Juno Award winning Sisters Euclid). Described as ‘electro ambient bedlam’, modus factor uses improvisation and daring reinvention to create an energized sound all its own, drawing on textures from jazz, electronic, and world music.

A born teacher, Chris takes his LTR (Life Through Rhythm) philosophy around the world to empower drummers getting to their next level, but also to businesses looking for an edge in using drumming to come together as an energized team, using the power of flow states to rise above the competition.

What You’ll Learn

  • We all have a personal rhythm in life that includes our habits, our thoughts, and our speech
  • Drumming teaches us to be assertive leaders because drummers must keep the beat for the rest of the band
  • The f-word we must teach our kids
  • How playing music helps you focus, develop confidence and self-worth
  • Cultivating self-expression to grow confidence
  • Asking yourself, “What do you have to say?”
  • The maxims of the practice of drumming – movement (physical exertion), rhythm (daily practice), discipline (becoming a disciple of your best self), being childlike (not childish)
  • Controlling your emotional state
  • Why drumming keeps you humble
  • How learning something knew puts you back into your kids’ shoes, helping you relate to them when they’re learning something they’ve never done before
  • How learning an instrument like drums grows new neurons and muscle memory
  • Developing patience and staying fresh and in the moment
  • Letting your kids watching you do something your passionate about
  • Urgency is good, but self-importance is not.
  • Detach and welcome obstacles and circumstances beyond our control
  • Why smiling at someone is being creative
  • We’re all going to look back on this crisis and think about how we showed up during this time. What are you going to remember?

 

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Extreme Ownership for Fathers with Leif Babin

Raising Kids with the Dichotomy of Leadership with Jocko Willink


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THRIVE IN THE FACE OF UNCERTAINTY

Register for the Dad Edge Virtual Summit

Dad Edge Virtual Summit 2020

IT’S TIME TO REINVENT HOW WE SHOW UP FOR OUR FAMILIES

Coronavirus is forcing our evolution as fathers.  We are all going to build a whole new set of superpowers.  And these superpowers are needed right now.  For many of us, we are multiplying our future ability to serve, exponentially.

YOU WILL NOT WANT TO MISS THIS.

Guest Speakers

Dr. Meg Meeker
New York Times Bestselling Author of “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters” and “HERO”
Anthony Trucks
Former NFL Football Player and American Ninja Warrior
Aaron Walker
Founder of View From the Top and bestselling author of “View from the Top” and coming soon “Isolation is the Enemy of Excellence.”
Dominic Quartuccio
Bestselling author of “Design Your Future.”

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Bonding with Sons and Daughters

A Father’s Guide to Bonding with Sons and Daughters with Michael Gurian

According to Columbia University, children who have a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to drink, smoke, or use drugs. How we can strengthen the bond between father and son and father and daughter?

Michael Gurian is one of the world’s foremost experts on gender and the brain and has been called “The People’s Philosopher” for his ability to bring together people’s ordinary lives and scientific ideas. He is the NY Times bestselling author of thirty-two books, a keynote speaker, a husband and a father.

Michael tells us the top three reasons why today’s kids aren’t connecting with their dads. He teaches us to discover our assets as fathers and how to invite our kids to utilize them. He also shares the neuroscience behind the differences between bonding with sons and daughters, and how we be the best father to each gender.

Michael Gurian

Dr. Michael Gurian is the New York Times bestselling author of thirty two books published in twenty three languages. He provides counseling services in private practice.  The Gurian Institute, which he co-founded, conducts research internationally, launches pilot programs and trains professionals.

Michael has pioneered efforts to bring neuro-biology and brain research into homes, schools, corporations, and public policy. A number of his books have sparked national debate, including THE WONDER OF GIRLS, THE WONDER OF BOYS, BOYS AND GIRLS LEARN DIFFERENTLY!, THE MINDS OF BOYS and LEADERSHIP AND THE SEXES.

In the 1990s, Michael and his colleagues at the University of Missouri-Kansas City completed a two year pilot study that established best practices for educating boys and girls.  These strategies and Michael’s nature-based gender theory are now used in schools and communities worldwide.

One of the world’s foremost gender experts, Michael travels to approximately 25 cities per year to provide keynotes at conferences and speak at schools and in communities. Michael has served as a trainer and consultant to colleges, corporations, school districts, community agencies, faith communities, criminal justice personnel, and other professionals. His philosophy reflects the diverse cultures (European, Asian, Middle Eastern and American) in which he has lived, worked and studied.

Michael’s work has been featured in nearly all the major media, including the New York Times, the Washington Post, USA Today, Newsweek, Time, People Magazine, the Wall Street Journal, Forbes Magazine, Psychology Today, the Christian Science Monitor, Educational Leadership, the American School Board Journal, Family Therapy, Good Housekeeping, Redbook, and on the Today Show, Good Morning America, the 700 Club, CNN, PBS and National Public Radio.

What You’ll Learn

  • Michael’s mom had mental illness, and he grew up in an environment of violence and sexual abuse.
  • Michael’s father was mostly absent in his life until his dad was eighty years old.
  • It took 10 years of therapy for Michael to process his trauma. Therapy helped him recover and inspired him to become a counselor.
  • He’s been married to his wife 34 years, who is also a mental health counselor. They have two girls, aged 29 and 26.
  • Michael’s marriage advice: Establish domains as a couple. Figure out what each of you are good at and give each other space to do that. This prevents you trying to control each other.
  • Why you should compliment your spouse publicly.
  • Michael’s book, The Stone Boys, and why he wrote a story about traumatized boys.
  • The brain is not gender neutral. It shows differences according to sex beginning in utero.
  • Why we need to understand the male experience better
  • How culture is over-judging males and has lost the sense of value in a fathers’ masculinity
  • Dads are 50% of their kids support and development. They need to claim role in their kids’ lives.
  • Why kids aren’t connecting with dads
    • Divorce and child custody processes typically vilify the father.
    • The father abdicates to the mother or others because he doesn’t understand his role. He is afraid to assert himself as a father.
    • The father fails to invite the child to utilize him for the assets he has. He must be a presence. It doesn’t have to be deep conversation. Fathers and kids can bond with sports, movies, video games, and other activities.
  • Don’t be too permissive. Kids want structure.
  • How to be authoritative, not authoritarian.
  • The structure of a boy’s brain is wired to be more active. More blood flow goes to the doing part of the brain.
  • Females have more blood flow to the front and top of the brain. They solve problems internally by thinking and connect to emotive parts of brain.
  • Why females create rumination loops, leading to depression and anxiety.
  • How dads can listen to their daughters for ruminating, find the right time to step in, do a reality check, and offer suggestions.
  • Boys don’t have as many words for feelings as girls.
  • How dads can help their boys get their feelings out
  • What special activities dads can do with their daughters and sons to make the bond strong.
  • Figure out who you are as a dad and what your assets are.
  • Find common interests with your kids. Ritualize doing these things with your kids so you can establish your presence as the dad.
  • Gauge what your spouse is doing. What has she got covered? Where can you fill in the gaps as a husband and father?
  • The difference between maternal and paternal nurturing
  • How trauma effects boys and girls
  • Signs of trauma—if your child suddenly becomes withdrawn, angry, or isolated, he or she may have been traumatized.
  • More kids are traumatized than we realize.
  • How the dad spirit organically works in the family dynamic. Trust it and embrace it.

RELATED EPISODES:

Taking Action as the Head of Your Family

Modern Manhood: What it Means to Be a Good Man Today with Cleo Stiller

Imposter Syndrome: Defeating Your Inner Bully with Dr. Jamie Hope


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The Smart Way to Keep Kids Safer Online

Bark’s affordable, award-winning dashboard proactively monitors
text messages, YouTube, emails, and 24 different social networks
for potential safety concerns,
so busy parents can save time and gain peace of mind.

CLICK HERE TO GET BARK
Use coupon code GOODDAD at checkout for 10% off


Michael Gurian’s Links

MichaelGurian.com

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Resources

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Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

LINKS


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lifelong learner

The World’s Toughest Lifelong Learner


Today, Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman revisits The Dad Edge. He is a former Spanish teacher turned UFC Champion who now hosts The Spaniard Show podcast and is the author of Driven: My Unlikely Journey from Classroom to Cage.

Charlie is here to talk about his new book, Becoming the World’s Toughest Lifelong Learner: A Book for Anyone Who Wants to Pursue Anything. He shares his principles for overcoming the fear of starting something new and pushing through obstacles in business, health, and relationships. He gives us a template on how to tap into courage and the mental tools we need to keep moving forward not matter what. Learn how to become the world’s toughest lifelong learner in this episode!

 

Becoming the World’s Toughest Lifelong Learner

Whatever idea or passion you pursue, you’ll face obstacles, mess and doubt. I know because I’m chronicling the ups and downs in real time as I build my life and career: TOP 7 ranked UFC fighter, reality TV champion, nationally-ranked Division I wrestler / 1st Team All-Academic, podcaster with 1200+ episodes. This book is a combination memoir and how-to for hanging tough as you find the best way forward. In it, I share 11 principles that have helped me transition from professional fighting into podcasting, speaking and writing. I hope you’ll join me in trying to live them out and learn from the best. In the first three years of my podcast, I’ve recorded 128 talks with world-class guests, and I’ve systematically shared insights from studying 89 books. This is how I pursue my mission to embody and inspire lifelong learning that will help you make the most of your life. I’m out to sharpen the same hunger in you so you can take my title: World’s Toughest Lifelong Learner.


RELATED EPISODES:

How to Persevere In Spite of Fear with Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman

Brenneman vs. Hagner: The Good Dad Project Interview

Raising Kids with the Dichotomy of Leadership with Jocko Willink

How To Dream Big and Conquer Your ​Aspirations with Diamond Dallas Page​

Pulling the Positive from Failures with UFC Champion Frankie Edgar


Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
Thanks for the support.

CLICK HERE.


The Smart Way to Keep Kids Safer Online

Bark’s affordable, award-winning dashboard proactively monitors
text messages, YouTube, emails, and 24 different social networks
for potential safety concerns,
so busy parents can save time and gain peace of mind.

CLICK HERE TO GET BARK
Use coupon code GOODDAD at checkout for 10% off

 


Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman

charliespaniard.com

The Spaniard Show

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Amazon

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE book on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

APPLY HERE!

the dad edge alliance


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Daniel Amen

Change Your Brain, Change Your Life with Dr. Daniel Amen


We obsess over nutrition and fitness for a strong physique, but we ignore the most important organ in the body—the brain. The brain manages every function of the human body and is also in charge of our focus, mood, and ability to learn.

In this episode of The Dad Edge, America’s Most Popular Psychiatrist, Dr. Daniel Amen, talks about how we can improve the lives of ourselves and our children by making the brain a priority. He tells us how to eat to optimize brain power, how to create a bedtime routine for the best sleep, and how to stop the negative thoughts and behaviors that sabotage our progress in life.

This show will transform the way you think, literally. Prepare to Change Your Brain, Change Your Life!

Get the brain right and your mind will follow.–Dr. Daniel Amen

Dr. Daniel Amen

“Dr. Amen believes that brain health is central to all health and success. His work is dedicated to helping people have better brains and better lives.

Patients love him…viewers worship him…and thousands of people say they owe their lives to Dr. Amen.

His health clinics across the country see over 4,000 patient visits each month and continue to grow. And his breakthrough public television programs on various issues of brain and mental health have aired over 80,000 times and have been watched by millions of people.

He is a distinguished fellow of the American Psychiatric Association, and as a pioneer in brain SPECT imaging, he introduced a whole new way of looking at the brain. His research on brain imaging was ranked #19 out of the top 100 stories in science in 2015 by Discover Magazine.

Dr. Amen is a #1 New York Times best-selling author, double board-certified psychiatrist, professor and brain health expert.”

Your brain is involved in everything you do, every decision you make, and everything you are. And when your brain works right, you work right.–Dr. Daniel Amen

What You’ll Learn

  • How Dr. Amen went from average C student to graduating medical school
  • Depression and suicide increase with inadequate sleep.
  • The brain washes itself and consolidates information from the day during sleep
  • More people die on the road from sleep deprivation than alcohol.
  • How to honor a child’s circadian rhythm
  • Using a light box to reset your kids’ circadian rhythm to wake up early
  • How ADD kids are usually night owls
  • How to create a calming routine for your kids, engaging all 5 senses with relaxation before bedtime
  • Getting your kids to fall in love with their brains
  • How gadgets keep us awake by flooding us with blue light
  • The more secure the attachment to your kids, the safer they feel and the better they sleep.
  • How to bond with your child by spending 20 minutes each day listening to your him/her without giving your opinion.
  • The best brain breakfasts
  • Why eggs are the perfect food
  • The great cholesterol myth
  • How very low levels of cholesterol are associated with mental illness
  • Finding foods you love that love you back
  • Amen’s house rule: never spend money on food that will harm the kids
  • Getting your kids to eat brain healthy foods
  • Teaching kids to read food labels
  • When blood sugar is low, blood flow to your frontal lobe is slow.
  • Healthy snacks for after school
  • Why apple juice is a bad food
  • The truth about dairy
  • How most people don’t have the enzyme to process lactose (dairy sugar)
  • Healthy Brain Diet: 70% plants 30% healthy protein and a lot of healthy fats
  • Cultures who eat the most fish have the least depression.
  • The younger you start giving children fish, the better.
  • Preparing the brain for learning
  • How to proactively get ready for class to reduce study time and increase retention
  • Studying the day’s lesson before class to ask smarter questions
  • How and why kids should make an effort to develop a good relationship with teachers
  • Why interacting in a group setting is so helpful in learning
  • How to limit distractions and reward yourself for staying focused
  • Why it’s crucial to define your life and what you want for all aspects of it
  • How to ensure your behavior fits the goals you have
  • Consistent thinking or acting over time gets you what you want.
  • Why you must base your activities around what will matter most in the future
  • The smallest, most effective thing you can do today is to ask yourself, “Is the consequence of this decision the best for my brain?”
  • Whenever you feel sad, mad, or out of control, write your feelings down and question the negative thinking.
  • Avoiding psychiatric medication when possible.
  • The power of nutritional supplements


RELATED EPISODES:

Strategy Guide for Parenting ADHD Kids with Brian King

How to Unlock ADHD Superpowers with Peter Shankman

Faster than Normal: Secrets of the ADHD Brain with Peter Shankman


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If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
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CLICK HERE.


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Dr. Amen’s Links

Website

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Amazon

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become one of the 350 men of The Dad Edge Alliance

APPLY HERE!

 


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @thedadedge