Larry Yatch from the SEALed Mindset is back to share some mind-blowing insights on how to make our families work as high-functioning teams, how to instill the growth mindset in our kids, and how to persevere and show courage in the face of fear.
The SEALED MINDSET
The Navy SEALs are the most elite warriors on the planet. Larry Yatch and his partner, Eric Davis, worked together as SEALs and they now teach the SEALed Mindset proven performance principles. Larry is experienced with managing high-performing individuals and building high-functioning teams. He believes the most important team you’re on is your family.
What is a team?
SEALs couldn’t do anything without their team. It takes a whole group of people to help them accomplish their goals. When you’re in the SEALs it’s crucial that every team member does their part because your competition is trying to kill you. Imagine if one person slacks off for the day. The consequences could be deadly.
The same holds true in work and family. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are on several teams, in order to be a good team player we must first identify the teams we’re on.
A team must have:
- Common background of experience – Team members need to speak the same language so they can communicate.
- Common concerns and obligations – Team members must be worried about the same issues, or share issues that nest.
- The same future goal – All must want to achieve the desired end-state.
When a member of family doesn’t have one of these 3 things, the family becomes dysfunctional.
How to incorporate teams in family lives?
In a high-functioning team, everyone has to have the same definitions and expectations of the roles on the team. Just like in football and other sports, each player has a specific role. They know what they are supposed to and execute their job to the best of their ability. This allows the other team members to focus on their own duties.
The three functions of members in a family team or spousal unit are leading, managing, following. The leader calls the shots, the manager creates an environment in which the leader can successfully lead, and the followers execute the leader’s plan. This acceptance of team roles helps avoid family conflict and ensures goals are accomplished efficiently.
What is fixed versus growth mindset?
Our subconscious mind processes information exponentially faster than the conscious mind, and our mindset is the filter between conscious and subconscious. If we have a bad mindset, we’ll react to our environment with our ego and in a fearful way. If we have a good mindset, we will respond with confidence, perseverance, and responsibility.
A person with a fixed mindset believes their skills and intelligence are limited, and therefore fear failure and avoid challenges. A person with a growth mindset knows their skills and intelligence can grow as long as they work hard and don’t allow fear hold them back. They rise to challenges, learn from failure, and persevere until they succeed.
The fixed mindset doesn’t have to stay fixed.
The good news is that our mindset is not permanent. It is a habit of thinking and reacting, not a physiological trait. We can change the way we operate. However, if we’ve been using a fixed mindset since our childhood, it will take a long time and a great effort to change.
How can we instill a growth mindset in our kids?
Many of us have unknowingly brought our kids up with the same fixed mindset we were raised with. When kids are told they are good at a sport or smart at a subject, they expect to accomplish everything with ease. When they run into a challenging situation, they feel fear and shame. If the task wasn’t easy for them, they think they are a failure. Their ego can’t handle it. In the future, they will avoid challenges or quit soon after undertaking them to avoid failing again.
Children with a growth mindset are praised for their hard work and effort. Instead of believing they’re simply “good” at something and that there is nothing beyond that, they know that as long as they keep working hard, they can keep getting better. Instead of avoiding difficulties, challenges, and criticism, they turn them into opportunities to learn.
Amazingly, it only takes a changing a few words when you’re praising your children to begin to change the mindset. Stop telling them they are “good” or “smart” and start telling them what a great effort they put in and how courageous they were to try their best in the face of fear and failure.
Stop rewarding the result. Reward the hard work.
Referenced Episode: Secrets of the Navy SEAL Mindset: Courage, Confidence, Perseverance and Resilience
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