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lone wolf syndrome

The Cure for Lone Wolf Syndrome

On Thursday Throwdown, we interview everyday dads. Today, alliance member John Williams is on the show. John used to suffer from lone wolf syndrome. He shouldered his burdens alone and kept his worries to himself. Even though he arrived at a good place in life, something was missing. He knew that a man is the sum of the people closest to him and that he was capable of more. This sparked the search for a tribe to surround himself with.

A rising tide lifts all ships, and by doing life with good men, John has stopped drifting and is now actively shaping his destiny. His wife Ashly also makes a surprise appearance and gives us the lowdown on the changes she has seen in John since he’s had men to share the highs and lows with.

'Nothing worth doing is easy. You don’t stumble into success in your marriage. You don’t accidentally become a good father. All these things take intentionality.'—John Williams, Dad Edge Alliance #dads #men #fathers #fatherhood… Click To Tweet

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“The Bearded” John Williams

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Embracing the Parenting Journey

Embracing the Parenting Journey

As men, we often feel alone on our journeys—especially when it comes to parenting. Today’s guest is Dad Edge Alliance member, Simon. He talks about how when his wife got pregnant he didn’t want to have a boy because it would force him to confront issues he didn’t want to deal with. The thought of becoming a parent baffled him, but once his son was born he realized that shedding his former self and embracing the parenting journey came naturally.

#ParentingTip: 'Drop all resistance. If you embrace it, it’s beautiful. If you resist it, it’s hard.'—Simon, Dad Edge Alliance member #dads #men #fathers #fatherhood #dadlife #newdads Click To Tweet

 

MENTIONED EPISODE:

Giving Yourself Grace During the Holidays

 


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Simon’s Website

fatografi.com

Resources

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==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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When a Father Commits Suicide

When a Father Commits Suicide

We all go through dark times in our lives. Whether it’s financial difficulties, marital tension, struggles with our children, or failures in our work, we may sometimes wonder if we’re simply a burden to all those around us.

Today’s guest is Adam Schafer. He is a host on Mind Pump, one of the biggest podcasts on iTunes. Adam is not a dad, but he was the son of a father who committed suicide. Adam was seven years old when his dad shot himself, and the tragedy created a shock wave that still reverberates in his life today.

Children whose fathers commit suicide have a 50/50 chance of being suicidal themselves. Adam struggled with isolation and depression because of the impact of his father’s suicide. He shares how he uses times of darkness to forge himself into the man he is today.

'When you decide to exit out of this place early, I don’t think you realize the collateral damage that truly comes from that.'—Adam Schafer #suicide #depression #mentalhealth #men #dads #fathers Click To Tweet

Adam Schafer’s Story

One day, Adam’s uncle came to pick him up from school. He didn’t see his uncle often, so it was a nice surprise for Adam. But instead of going home, he was taken to a neighbor’s house where the whole family was waiting in tears. Adam was told his father shot himself on accident while cleaning his gun. Of course, this wasn’t the truth.

Adam couldn’t process the emotions. He felt guilty because he didn’t cry at the funeral. When Adam returned to school, he didn’t know what to tell the other kids about his father. He told them his dad died in the Air Force and let them fill in the blanks.

His young mom was at a loss as to what to do. She had to take care of Adam and his younger sister. A year later, she married the first man who came into her life. It was an abusive relationship, and at as young as 8 years old, Adam was between his mom and stepdad breaking up fights.

At the same time, they were a very Christian family. Adam learned and listened in church how people were supposed to treat each other, but he would see the opposite at home. He remembers trying to teach his mom and step dad how to communicate with each other. At the age of 10, he felt like he was the most mature person in the household.

Adam’s mother isolated them, avoiding the stigma that came with the suicide. Because of this, Adam never developed certain social skills that most people take for granted, like how to enjoy family gatherings and how to receive gifts. These experiences were never part of his life.

Adam is now 37 years old. Till this day, he is still sifting through the fallout from his dad’s suicide. It has been a complex and difficult journey but it has also helped Adam become more empathetic and self-aware. He has learned to smirk at times of darkness, knowing that the best times of his life are waiting for him on the other side.

'You create so much damage that a person can’t even unpack and figure out.'—Adam Schafer #suicide #depression #loss #grief #children #families #relationships Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • Why you don’t have to have a kid to be in the role of a father
  • How suicide sets up kids for failure later in life
  • How Adam pieced together his father’s suicide
  • What circumstances led to his father’s suicide
  • How the suicide destroyed Adam’s relationship with his mom
  • Why he doesn’t know how to respond to getting gifts
  • His challenges in being part of his wife’s close-knit family
  • How the Bible laid a foundation for his healing
  • How the ripple effect of his dad’s suicide trickles down to younger siblings and to generations past, present, and future
  • Adam’s battle with depression after getting off testosterone
  • His message for dads who are suffering in a pit of darkness
'You’re better off here for sure. In the darkest times, the other side of that is always the best times of my life.'—Adam Schafer #mentalhealth #mentalillness #suicide #suicideawareness #dads #men #fathers Click To Tweet

 

MENTIONED EPISODE: Mind Pump Ep. 837 – Larry Hagner of the Dad Edge Podcast


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Adam Schafer’s Links

mindpumpmedia.com

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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

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We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

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The Dangers of Perfection

The Dangers of Perfection


Do you go at life alone? If you’re like 99% of the men out there, you probably are. Most men bear the weight of the world on their shoulders and tell everyone who asks that they’re “good” and “fine”. They don’t want to ask for advice or help because their afraid of looking weak.

But the dangers of perfection are real and the stress that accumulates from internalizing our fears and worries seeps into everything we do as men, husbands, and fathers.

Thursday Throwdown is our short show with everyday, relatable dads. Today we have Dad Edge Alliance member Brian Auten on to share his experience.

Being raised in a church, Brian was taught that he was supposed to be a good boy, the nice guy who took everything with a smile. It was important to not have any issues and to maintain the appearance of perfection, but the truth was that he was living a lie. Brian did get angry about things. He did have stress and worries. He realized that he didn’t have the perfect marriage, and he wasn’t the perfect dad either.

He decided that enough was enough. Holding in negative emotions put him in a bad mood with his wife and kids. Pretending everything was okay made his life stagnant. He needed help, and he needed to be proactive about getting it.

'I’m not going to tolerate crap in my life anymore.'—Brian Auten, The Dad Edge Alliance #men #dads #fathers #brotherhood #ownership #tribe Click To Tweet

'It’s like priming the pump. If you give a little, you realize there’s a lot more inside you to give.'—Brian Auten, The Dad Edge Alliance #mastermind #men #manhood #brotherhood Click To Tweet

 

MENTIONED EPISODES: 
How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood

Showing Leadership to Your Kids by Going First

7 Reasons Why Men Don’t Ask for Help

Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
Thanks for the support.


Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @good_dad_project

The Power in Sharing Your Struggle

The Power in Sharing Your Struggle


Henry David Thoreau wrote, “the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” This was in 1854, but now it is truer than ever before.

Today, I have John Bauer on the show to talk about the power in sharing your struggle. John became a Dad Edge Alliance member in the summer of 2017 and has since grown in all aspects of his life. He now pays it forward by being a team lead and an inspiration to all the other members.

In this short episode, he talks about why men are afraid to connect and talk about their problems. He also reveals how getting over that fear and sharing your challenges with others helps you finally leave the life of quiet desperation behind!

'The things I struggled with I didn’t share with people because I was afraid of being judged and outcast.' – John Bauer, Team Lead, The Dad Edge Alliance #bauerpower #dads #men #fathers Click To Tweet

 

'This is something everyone could have, and everyone should have.' – John Bauer #community #sharing #brotherhood #friendship Click To Tweet

UPCOMING GUEST:
Hal Elrod
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If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
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THE DAD EDGE SUMMIT 2018

JUNE 7TH – 9TH – ST. LOUIS

Are you an extraordinary father looking to accelerate in all aspects of your life?
Are you looking to connect to like-minded Dads that want to come together to strengthen and grow in their abilities both personally and professionally?
The Dad Edge 2018 Summit (Live Event) will set you up to do exactly that.

LEARN MORE


 Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Create an Epic Life

join The Dad Edge Alliance

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Dad Edge Alliance