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All You Have to Do is Ask with Wayne Baker


How often do you ask for what you need or desire? Whether it be in our marriage, workplace, or among friends, 77% of people have issues asking for help or advice.

Today we have Wayne Baker, sociologist, consultant, speaker, and the author of All You Have to Do is Ask. His mission is to empower people to fulfill their purpose, goals, and visions so they can become more successful. Wayne discovered that those who ask for help or advice, and also give back, were less frustrated and more effective in all areas of their lives.

He talks about how to practice thoughtful intentional requests that people will be happy to fulfill. He also teaches how to create a psychologically safe environment where our kids feel safe to express their needs and wants.

Learn how the simple art of asking can unlock new ideas and solutions, help you get ahead faster and easier, and solve most of the problems that are weighing you down in this episode!

 

Wayne Baker

Wayne Baker is an American sociologist, author, consultant, and speaker. He is the Robert P. Thome Professor of Business Administration at the University of Michigan Ross School Of Business, and Faculty Director of the Center for Positive Organizations. He is a co-founder and board member of Give and Take, Inc., a provider of tools based on his new book, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASK.

Prior to joining the Michigan faculty, he was on the faculty at the University of Chicago business school. He earned his Ph.D. in sociology from Northwestern University and was a post-doctoral research fellow at Harvard University. Dr. Baker resides in Ann Arbor, Michigan, with his wife, their son, and a Birman cat.

All You Have to Do is Ask

A set of tools for mastering the one skill standing between us and success: the ability to ask for the things we need to succeed.

Imagine you’re on a deadline for a big project, and feeling overwhelmed. Or you’re looking for a new job, but can’t seem to get your foot in the door. Or you’re facing a personal challenge, and just don’t know what to do. What do these problems have in common? They can all be solved simply by reaching out to a colleague, friend, acquaintance, or wider network and making an ask. Studies show that asking for help makes us better and less frustrated at our jobs. It helps us find new opportunities and new talent. It unlocks new ideas and solutions, and enhances team performance. And it helps us get the things we need outside the workplace as well. And yet, we rarely give ourselves permission to ask. Luckily, the research shows that asking—and getting—what we need is much easier than we think.

Here, Wayne Baker shares dozens of tools—used at companies like Google, GM, and IDEO—that individuals, teams, and leaders can use to make asking for help a personal and organizational habit, such as: SMART criteria for making an ask, “plug-and-play” routines that make requests a standard component of meetings, mini-games that incentivize asking within teams, and the Reciprocity Ring and Givitas, tools that allow people to tap into the giving power of a network.

What You’ll Learn

  • How Wayne Baker and his wife created the “reciprocity ring”
  • People are always willing to help, but struggle with asking for what they need.
  • It’s not enough to motivate people to ask, but to give them the tools to do it.
  • How you can practice getting better at asking for what you need
  • If you want to make a good request, it has to be thoughtful and intentional.
  • SMART criteria for asking.
    • Specific – What exactly are you asking for?
    • Meaningful – Why are you asking?
    • Action – What is your plan?
    • Realistic – Is it a feasible request?
    • Time – What is the deadline?
  • How to make a SMART request to your kids
  • How to make a request of your boss
  • How the giver/requester dynamic is not an exchange between individuals, but a network
  • The Sage Syndrome of leaders and how it weakens their effectiveness
  • What happens when you’re an over-giver—someone who is overly generous and never makes requests will have lower performance.
  • Men and women need to request (not to demand). This can be learned through practice.
  • People fear they will seem incompetent in the workplace if they ask for help, but it’s opposite if you make a thoughtful request.
  • Even strangers are more likely to say yes to a request than we think.
  • How to make it psychologically safe for people to ask a question or ask for what they want.
  • The tools that exponentially make a group more and more psychologically safe
  • Scheduling a time for people to ask for what they need
  • How to make it psychologically safe for our kids to express their needs and wants
  • How asking in the workplace creates a leadership moment where people can co-create solutions with you.
  • You can’t expect people to do something that you don’t do yourself, including asking for help.
  • People support what they create. This is true at home and the workplace. Asking for help gives others ownership of the situation. They’re invested in its outcome.
  • Give your kid a limited amount of choices. Practice by participating in their decision-making to help them figure out what they need and want.


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Wayne Baker’s Links

allyouhavetodoisask.com

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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

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We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

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surviving suicide dads

Surviving Suicide: A Dad’s Story


Suicide is the number one killer among men aged 35-50. The World Health Organization reports that suicide represents half of all male violent deaths worldwide. Why are men at such risk and what can we do about it?

Men are more likely to go for desperate measures for several reasons. Our culture teaches men to internalize emotions and hide distress. At the same time, men tend to lose their close friends and support systems as they step into the role of a provider. They’re also reluctant to seek help when struggling with anxiety, depression, or suicidal thoughts.

The first step in fighting suicide among men is raising awareness. Today, one of our Dad Edge Alliance Commanders courageously steps up to share his story of surviving suicide.

Nick Sotelo recounts his intense battle against rage, darkness, and suicide. He also tells us how to interrupt the negative scripts that run through our heads and what to do when overwhelmed with shame and hopelessness.

We never know what is going to send us or someone we care about down a dark road. This is an episode every dad should listen to for himself and any boy or man he knows.

Get help:
SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE

RELATED EPISODES:

When a Father Commits Suicide

Getting Real About Insomnia, Depression, and Anxiety

Surviving the Dark Night of the Soul

Finding the Strength Through the Struggle

Fighting the Battle Within with Chad Robichaux

Triumphing Through Dark Times: Exclusive Dad Edge Alliance Q&A with Chad Robichaux


Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
Thanks for the support.

CLICK HERE.


Nick Sotelo

Facebook

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE book on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

APPLY HERE!

the dad edge alliance


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

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Reasons Why Men Don’t Ask for Help

7 Reasons Why Men Don’t Ask for Help


Why is it that men tend to shut down and hide instead of asking for help? As the founder of The Dad Edge Alliance, I have talked to thousands of men, and I can tell you we all struggle with the same issues. We suffer physical, mental, and emotional problems. We deal with affairs, addiction, fear, anger, identity crises, and major life changes. We are not alone in life’s challenges. So why do we insist on pretending we’ve got it all under control? Today I’m going to share 7 reasons why men don’t ask for help, and I will tell you right now they are all lies.

We sabotage ourselves all the time. We have to get out of our own way and ask for help. #men #dads #fathers #manhood #brotherhood #tribe Click To Tweet

7 Reasons Why Men Don’t Ask for Help

(Listen to the full, short episode as I expand on these points)

  1. We think we can do it all by ourselves.
  2. We think we are the only ones who have our problems.
  3. We’re ashamed of where we are in life compared to others.
  4. We don’t want to destroy how we think other people view us.
  5. We don’t want to be judged for being ourselves.
  6. We fear rejection.
  7. We don’t want to face the truth about ourselves.
As soon as you ask for help, you empower the person who is helping you. #men #manhood #brotherhood #tribe Click To Tweet

MENTIONED EPISODES:

How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood

Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
Thanks for the support.


 Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @good_dad_project

Why Fathers Need to Ask for Help

Why Fathers Need to Ask for Help

As men, we hate to admit when we don’t know all the answers. We don’t want to seem weak and vulnerable, but fathers need to ask for help sometimes, and here is why.

None of us want to be at a loss when it comes to what to do about job struggles and relationship issues. We especially don’t want to be failing as fathers. Parenting is an intimate thing. That’s why it’s so difficult to ask for help when we need it. But we need to learn that it’s okay to ask for help. We can’t do it all alone and we don’t have to.

We’ve had the honor of interviewing several Navy SEALs on The Good Dad Project. The SEALs are one of the most successful organizations in the world. They are elite performers who accomplish amazing goals in the most stressful and dangerous situations. How do they successfully complete these extreme missions?

As a team.

They work together solving problems and helping each other, and would not be able to do what they do without their teammates by their side.

Just striving to be a better father and man means you are part of an elite group of men too. Join a local group, a mastermind group, or our Dad Edge Private Facebook Group. Seek out a mentor or a friend. Find a place where you feel safe and ask for help.

 

Referenced Episode: Leading Our Family With Confidence with Chris Sajnog


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


SEALed Mindset Exclusive GDP Offer


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The #1 Reason Kids Quit Sports is Because of the Coach.

Learn How to Coach Baseball right with 7 days of FREE access for GDP listeners.

brian-king

Defying the Odds To Win at Life, Work, and Fatherhood with Brian King

Brian King is a man of INSPIRATION to say the least!


As men, we have a tendency to want to fix things, and when we get stuck, we sometimes don’t want to ask for help. But, this can create issues that leak to other areas of our lives; causing situations that could most likely have been resolved had we just reached out for help. The notion that we should get touchy-feely with a stranger to solve a problem doesn’t always sound appealing, not to mention time-consuming. But if we could have a “coach” that knew how we worked, and could help us out in a short amount of time, those issues that get us stuck might just become pivotal points of learning.

Brian King and His Amazing Story

Brian Raymond King is just that guy. With a background in social work, author of six books and a unique background that allows him to have insight into helping others solve their own challenges, Brian coaches people to be their best selves. Our host, Larry Hagner, has even worked with Brian himself.

Reach Out

It’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help. As a matter of fact, it’s a sign of strength. Demonstrating this for our children when we face challenges only gives them the strength to ask for help when they need it most as well. Not asking for help locks us into the same patterns of repeating behaviors that get us nowhere.

Brian King and 15 Minute Coaching

Having a coach, like Brian, helps us to unlock our highest potential. Look at it this way: say you’re a baseball player. If you hit the ball the same way every game and you continue to get the same stats, but you know you could do better, without a coach or another point of view, you most likely will not change your hitting style. But, if you have a coach, they can help you improve your swing and make you a better player. Same goes for your life. You have the tools, you just might need someone else to help you use them to their greatest potential.

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Brian King

Brian King  Life Mastery

Brian King Facebook

Brian King Facebook Group for ADHD