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atomic habits james clear

Atomic Habits for Dads with James Clear

Are you having trouble breaking bad habits and committing to good ones?

Today’s guest says the problem isn’t you, it’s your system.

James Clear is the NY Times Bestselling Author of Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones.

James talks about how building a system of small habits will compound over time for huge results.

He’ll also teach us how to design our environment so that we’ll stick to good habits without even thinking about it.

Most importantly, James will tell us how we can apply atomic habits to our relationships with our spouses and children.

Whether you want to quit drinking, lose weight, excel in your business, or build deeper connection with your family, get ready to reshape your life for success!

“Most of your results in life are a lagging measure of your habits.”—James Clear

James Clear

James Clear is an author and speaker focused on habits, decision-making, and continuous improvement. His work has appeared in the New York Times, Entrepreneur, Time, and on CBS This Morning. His website receives millions of visitors each month and hundreds of thousands subscribe to his popular email newsletter at jamesclear.com.

He is a regular speaker at Fortune 500 companies and his work is used by teams in the NFL, NBA, and MLB. Through his online course, The Habits Academy, Clear has taught more than 10,000 leaders, managers, coaches, and teachers. The Habits Academy is the premier training platform for individuals and organizations that are interested in building better habits in life and work.

“The shape of your environment is one of the most overlooked drivers of your habits and behavior.”—James Clear

Atomic Habits

No matter your goals, Atomic Habits offers a proven framework for improving–every day. James Clear, one of the world’s leading experts on habit formation, reveals practical strategies that will teach you exactly how to form good habits, break bad ones, and master the tiny behaviors that lead to remarkable results.

“If you can’t find a tribe to join, go out and create it.”—James Clear

What You’ll Learn

  • A significant part of our life is structured and shaped by our habits.
  • Tiny habits are the fundamental unit of a larger system.
  • Why men are so extreme with their habits
  • We dismiss small rewards and always look for a huge, immediate payoff.
  • Our psychology can run counter to what’s best for us.
  • Change your mindset to focus on process and system rather than goals.
  • Good habits make time your ally.
  • Bad habits make time your enemy.
  • Habits have a compound effect.
  • When men reach the point that they are frustrated with the time it’s taking for results, they must remember that the work is not wasted, it’s being stored.
  • The power of the willingness to get better by one percent each day.
  • We often don’t set goals for relationships because it’s difficult to measure if we’re being a better friend, spouse, or parent.
  • How atomic habits can be applied to relationships
  • How have atomic habits served James in his relationship with his wife
  • Creating sacred time and space with your spouse
  • Making a habit of displays of affection
  • Creating habits you and your wife can do together, like a daily gratitude list
  • Use environmental design to cue the habit we are trying to create. Make the good habit the path of least resistance.
  • How to create friction against bad habits
  • Designing your digital and social environment
  • How to make sure you’re taking action on your real priorities
  • What James struggles with when it comes to sticking with habits.
  • An ambitious person has a lot of goals in all aspects of life, and we are forced to choose. When we say to yes to one thing, we so no to everything else
  • The way to choose what goals to pursue is to look at life as a series of seasons. What season are you in now? Business, family, retirement?
  • Prioritizing according to where you are in life doesn’t mean you can’t do it all, you just can’t do it all at the same time.
  • The best way to increase your performance is to cut your priorities in half.
  • How to make decisions when you’re in a stressed or emotional space
  • James’s dad’s mantra: I am free. I don’t have to do anything. I have time and space.
  • Shifting your definition of success–Many standards we measure ourselves against are social ideas that don’t truly mean anything to us. Come up with a standard for yourself.
  • Life lessons he learned from his dad, who played for Minor league baseball. “Trust your preparation.” The win is not in the moment of the game or test, it’s all the practice and lessons that came before it.
  • Greatest lesson James learned about marriage.


 RELATED EPISODES:

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less with Greg McKeown


James Clear’s Links

Newsletter – Jamesclear.com/newsletter

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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

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Breaking the Addiction Mindset

Breaking the Addiction Mindset

What’s your vice? What relieves your stress? What do you turn to when times get tough? Drugs, alcohol, women, validation, gambling, validation, food? Even a healthy habit like working out can be unhealthy if it’s used to avoid people and escape reality.

Addictive behaviors drain our energy, suck our time, and prevent us from connecting with those we love. They keep us from operating at our true potential. This show is about becoming aware of destructive habits and breaking the addiction mindset. No matter what vice you have, today we’ll give you new tools to crush it.

Everyone has a vice. What's yours? Are you ready to crush it? #addiction #vice #porn #drugs #alcohol #badhabits Click To Tweet

Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
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Scott Swanson’s email

Stop Running Away: Break Free from Porn and Let God Do More in Your Life Than Ever Before

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

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APPLY HERE!

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Benefits of Practicing Gratitude

The Life-Changing Benefits of Practicing Gratitude


We all go through ups and downs, and it’s easy to focus on whatever is going wrong in our lives, but being stressed and worried all the time works against us. A negative mindset literally makes us dumber! But we can shift our attitude by appreciating what we do have going for us.

Today we have on new Dad Edge Alliance member, Dwayne. He came into the group at an all-time low. His marriage was in trouble, he was in debt, and he was depressed. As he began to target all aspects of his life in the alliance, he also adopted the habit of looking at all that was going right.

Within a few months, Dwayne made incredible progress. His marriage is in a good place, he paid off 6K in debt, and is smiling again. Discover the other life-changing benefits of practicing gratitude in this short episode!

 

Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
Thanks for the support.


Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @good_dad_project

 

Breaking Destructive Habits

3 Steps to Breaking Destructive Habits

On this week’s Thursday Throwdown, we’re going to recap our wildly popular show with Nell Daly about a problem many men silently struggle with – online pornography. Nell Daly talked about three simple steps that can not only help those of us who struggle with porn addiction, but with any destructive habit or behavior like overeating, drinking, gambling, and more.

3 Steps to Breaking Destructive Habits

  1. Look at your behavior without shame or guilt. Objectively analyze your behavior. How often are you doing it? Why are you doing it? How do you feel before and after?
  2. Replace the bad habit with something positive. Do you have a McDonald’s addiction? What could you replace bad food with? Are you spending too much time watching online porn? What about replacing that time with a run?
  3. Keep track of your progress.  Ask yourself, how have I done this week? What replacements were successful? Build on those victories.

Did you catch our episodes with Nell Daly? 

Porn – Why We Watch It, When It’s a Problem, and How to Stop with Nell Daly

The Unexpected Secrets of Men, Women, and Sex with Nell Gibbon Daly


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

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todd stottlemyre

Breaking the World of Impossible with Todd Stottlemyre

Former Major League Baseball star, Todd Stottlemyre, tells us how to dream big, set goals, and create a plan to break the world of impossible.

Todd Stottlemyre is a former MLB starting pitcher, entrepreneur, speaker, and a transformational mindset coach. His book, RELENTLESS SUCCESS, comes out on July 1st, 2017. He also is the proud father of four daughters and one son.

Todd’s dad, Mell Stottlemyre, was a pitcher for the Yankees, and Todd grew up in Yankee Stadium among baseball’s most legendary players – Yogi Barra, Roy Munson, and Mickey Mantle.

He knew since he was a child that he wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps, and made his way to the big leagues. Like his dad, he also played with the world’s greatest players and was part of three different champion teams.

After his baseball career, Todd built a Wall Street firm that specialized in asset management. He was very successful, but he says it was only because he failed a bunch of times and learned how to jump up and try again.

Todd Stottlemyre considers himself blessed. His parents said you can, you will, go for it. He has achieved his goals and he’s gotten to the point where he wants to give back. Now he helps other people break the impossible to realize their dreams.

Chase your dreams, not someone else’s

Todd Stottlemyre says a goal becomes real by a massive desire that comes from within. There is no I want to do. There is only I must do. Some people might ask, what are you going to do if you don’t make it? If you have a true goal, that’s not a thought.

Just like in baseball, not every major league player’s son follows in his father’s footsteps, but Todd fell in love with the game early on. His Dad would come home from road trip and play ball with his brother and him before going to the stadium. If his dad saw them playing and they weren’t having fun, he’d tell them, “if you’re not having fun, don’t do it.” He didn’t care if they wanted to dig ditches, if when they dug a ditch, they did their best. Sports wasn’t required by his parents. They wanted him to follow his own dreams, work hard, live a life of passion, and strive to be the best at whatever they did.

However, Todd did share the same passion for baseball as his father. There was no I want to play. It was an I must play, and he focused and sacrificed to make his dream come true.

Habits and Sacrifice

Success is simple, but not easy. Small behavioral changes and action steps lead you closer to your goal, but you must make sacrifices and adopt new habits.

Some say it takes twenty-one days for a new habit to stick. Others say it takes much longer. It might be different for everyone. Todd says to force yourself to do new habits until you don’t have to think about it anymore. Just like when you were a kid and your parents reminded you to brush your teeth over and over, every night. It had to be drilled in. Now you brush your teeth without having to consciously think about it.

The good news is that successfully adopting new habits builds momentum into the next habits. Once you see it working, you believe in can happen, and it makes new habits much easier to take on in the future, and if your habits are part of your big picture goal, there will be no more should do’s, just do’s.

Balance

While you’re working toward your goals, Todd says it’s crucial to maintain balance in eight areas of your life – spiritual, family, relationships, health, job, financial, business, and personal development.

When striving toward goals, you can drive so hard, it consumes you. Sometimes you can forget the other pieces of your life and you are in danger of losing balance.

Todd sees these eight areas of life as a wheel. When one or two spokes in the wheel break down, you have a wobbly wheel. Life becomes unstable.

Family is one of the most important spokes in the wheel of life. Todd remembers one day when his wife told him, “When you’re at home, you’re not really home.” She said even the kids noticed, and wondered why dad always had to be on the phone or in the office working.

Todd’s advice on that balancing act is, “Wherever you are, be there 100%.”  When he’s on a date with his wife, there’s no calling, texting, email, or social media. When he’s working, he’s focused on work. He doesn’t take other calls while he’s in a meeting. The goal is to be well rounded and to keep the wheel rolling smoothly toward your goals.

Don’t Play the Victim

Some of us might think we’re not in ideal circumstances to chase our dreams. Todd says that when you’re stuck in a place that you feel is unfair, if you’re struggling, remember that it’s happening to you for a reason. The problems you’re facing now are giving you the wisdom that you will need for something around the corner you can’t see. Instead of playing the victim, play the champion and learn from the challenges that face you.

Ignore the Haters

Naysayers are going to try to take the wind out of your sails. You’ll come across small-minded people and even friends that will say “you can’t do that.” As we get older, we buy into all the reasons it’s not going to work.

Remember that most people who’ve done extraordinary things were surrounded by naysayers, but once they broke into the world of the impossible, then it became possible. If great achievers listened to the haters, they would’ve never crossed the threshold to the next level.

Seek Mentors

It’s human nature not to be coachable, especially men. We’re stubborn. We like to think we got it all figured out. We don’t even like to stop and ask for directions. But most successful people have had a mentor or group of mentors behind them.

Getting coached doesn’t mean you’re inadequate or lacking in talent. Coaches don’t stretch the human performance, coaches help us understand what our potential is. They see areas for improvement we don’t see. They shorten the learning curve

Todd’s Dad Wisdom

Todd Stottlemyre’s parents never said, you can’t do that, that’s crazy. He credits them for his winning attitude in life. That’s why he says that as dads, we must empower and encourage our kids no matter what. You, yourself, might think your kids are going to fail and be tempted to warn them that they might not make it. Don’t be the naysayer. You might not even know anything about the goal they’re trying to achieve. Ask yourself, is this an opinion?

Todd also urges dads to spend quality time with their families. Again, wherever you’re at, just be there. Do the listening, Be genuinely interested. Tell them you love them. Especially when it comes to the dad/daughter relationships, it’s important for them to know they’re loved. Don’t wait for them to approach you.

 


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


TODD STOTTLEMYRE’S LINKS

toddstottlemyre.com

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