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how to live in the present

Do a Day: How to Live in the Present with Bryan Falchuk


Today’s show is all about how to live in the present. We always hear people talking about it, but how exactly is it done?

Most of us hold onto shame, guilt, and feelings of unworthiness from yesterday. At the same time, we feel constant anxiety when we think about what tomorrow might bring. This ruins any chance of making today a great day and keeps us in a state of fear that negatively effects our relationships at home and at work.

Bryan Falchuk is a life coach, TEDx speaker, and the bestselling author of Do a Day: How to Live a Better Life Every Day. He’s going to give us a formula to help us live in the present moment by confronting our past and removing anxiety about the future. Today is a new day. Go out and do it!

If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you’re pissing on the present.

 

Bryan Falchuk

Bryan is a best-selling author, speaker and life coach. He has faced major adversities and learned how to overcome and achieve. From obesity to running marathons, from career struggles to success as a CXO, from watching illness threaten his family to finding lasting health, he has been through many lessons he used to develop his unique approach to inspiring others succeed.

Bryan’s work has been featured in several top publications like Inc. Magazine, The LA Times, Chicago Tribune and more. He has spoken at multiple TEDx events, and has been a featured guest on over 100 podcasts and radio shows.

While Bryan lives in the US, he has worked and lived in numerous countries and cultures across the world, giving him a truly global perspective.

If you don’t deal with that weight that’s on you, it will deal with you.—Bryan Falchuk

What You’ll Learn

  • What happened to Bryan, the youngest of four kids, when his parents divorced
  • How he used food as a comfort mechanism when he was a child, leading to obesity
  • His love of mayonnaise sandwiches
  • How Bryan had the biggest boobs in school
  • His constant fear of putting weight back on
  • How he’s moved past the fat kid that lived inside of him
  • Now, Bryan exercises because he enjoys it, not because he’s afraid of being fat
  • How most of us carry someone else’s load on top of our own. We bury what we’re dealing with because we’re handling stuff for others.
  • The crucial importance of confronting your past
  • How Bryan failed his wife during the illness that nearly caused her death because he was too reactive
  • The defining moment when Bryan realized he was responsible to raise his son … and he was failing
  • How Bryan justified his anxiety by telling himself that his over-worrying was responsible for getting him this far
  • In reality, Bryan had no self-worth for many years
  • How living in yesterday ruined Bryan’s job
  • If you expect confrontation, you will get it.
  • Your fear makes you throw away the capability you have today.
  • The more you evolve and explore, the more opportunities you will have.
  • What’s most important for Bryan to do every day for his wife and kid
  • How to share your issues without taking the joy from others
  • How to take others’ issues without reacting
  • How Buddhism influenced him
  • The 4 Components of How to Live in the Present:
    • Self-love – the solid ground. Without self-love you will self-sabotage because you believe you’re not worth it
    • True motivation – will keep you moving no matter what. Deep within you, they are the things that choke you up. What will you always care about?
    • Look at your life – Where do you want it to be? What is serving you, what is not? Deal with your issues, past and future.
    • Make a plan for today – How are you going to react? What will you do to change the thoughts and habits that are not serving you?
  • The ongoing process of Do a Day

 

Visit
bryanfalchuk.com/dadedge
for a discount signed version of his book
and other special offers!

 


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How to Raise Mentally Strong Kids with Amy Morin

Mental strength is something most of us struggle with. Dealing with grief, fear, and disappointment is a constant challenge for adults. Children have even more difficulty navigating uncomfortable feelings. How can we raise mentally strong kids?

Today’s guest is Amy Morin, the bestselling author of the book called 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do. She is a psychotherapist, writer, and TEDx speaker. She is here to tell us how to become mentally strong parents so we can raise self-assured kids who are primed for happiness and success.

This show is full of incredible insights that will change the lives of adults and children. Save it, because you’ll want to listen to it more than once.

'Our tendency is to go around uncomfortable feelings instead of through them.' – @AmyMorinLCSW #parenting #dads #fathers #kids #children Click To Tweet

Amy Morin

Amy Morin recorded this episode from her boat which she has been living on for 2 years. From there she works on her computer writing articles and doing interviews. Amy Morin wrote a list called 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do. This article went viral with more than 50 million readers. She wrote a book based on that list and wrote a second book especially for parents.

As a therapist, Amy’s goal was always to teach other people how to be mentally strong, but shortly after she began her work, her mother passed away suddenly from a brain aneurysm at the age of fifty-one. This was Amy’s first big loss and she didn’t know how to cope. She saw people who went through loss in her office and they were still not over it even decades later. She knew she had to figure out how to get through it and emerge stronger than she was before. She accomplished this by turning her grief into a learning experience.

Just when she was getting a handle on her life again, her husband passed away on the anniversary of her mom’s death. He was twenty-six. To say it was painful is an understatement. She lost her partner and all the goals and dreams they had together. They had been foster parents and she wondered if she could continue as a single woman. It took a long time before she felt better and reestablished a new since of normal.

Four years later she found love again. She got married, sold her house, and got a new job. Her new husband joined her a as a foster parent. Things seemed to finally be looking up, but shortly after that, her father-in-law was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Amy was beginning to feel like life was unfair.

She knew it wasn’t helpful to think like this. It wasn’t what mentally strong people do, so she wrote a list if all the things she could think of that mentally strong people don’t do. It turned out to be thirteen key things and she published the list online. The response was incredible. No one knew the tragic story behind why she created it.

Everyone assumed I mastered the list, but I struggled with it.

'We develop core beliefs about life when we're little kids, and as we grow older some of those beliefs don't serve us very well, but it's so hard to unlearn the things that you know.' – @AmyMorinLCSW #parenting #personalgrowth… Click To Tweet

What you’ll learn

  • An in-depth look at the 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t D0
    • They Don’t Condone a Victim Mentality
    • They Don’t Parent Out Of Guilt
    • They Don’t Make Their Child The Center Of The Universe
    • They Don’t Allow Fear To Dictate Their Choices
    • They Don’t Give Their Child Power Over Them
    • They Don’t Expect Perfection
    • They Don’t Let Their Child Avoid Responsibility
    • They Don’t Shield Their Child From Pain
    • They Don’t Feel Responsible For Their Child’s Emotions
    • They Don’t Prevent Their Child From Making Mistakes
    • They Don’t Confuse Discipline With Punishment
    • They Don’t Take Shortcuts To Avoid Discomfort
    • They Don’t Lose Sight Of Their Values
  • Why Amy decided to write a list of what mentally strong parents don’t do instead of what they do
  • What is a ‘calm down kit’ and how to create one
  • How getting kids involved in making the world a better place helps get them out of the victim mentality
  • What not to do when your kid says ‘I hate you!’
  • Why you must allow your kids to feel their emotions
  • How to give your kids firsthand practice on managing their feelings
  • How a child’s anxiety is reduced when the parent is a solid leader
  • How to empower kids without giving them too much power
  • How kids learn when they watch how parents deal with their own uncomfortable feelings
  • Amy’s parting wisdom on how to be a better parent

'Ask yourself what life lessons do I want my kids to learn, and do my priorities reflect my values?' @AmyMorinLCSW #parenting #values #raisingchildren Click To Tweet

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'You want kids to arrive at their own conclusions rather than us always telling them 'no don't think that way.'' – @AmyMorinLCSW #parenting #parentingtips #dads #moms Click To Tweet

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Stop the Guilt- Why Dads Need Time with Their Tribe

Stop the Guilt – Why Dads Need Time with Their Tribe

Guilt. So many of us walk around with guilt and it’s crippling. We feel guilty handing over our time and resources. We feel guilty about too much time with work. We have no time for friends. We even feel guilty for reading a book. The guilt eats away at us. Almost every single guy I talk to has not made new friends in years. Life is centered around family and work. We feel like me must be everything to every single person until we become nothing and no one to ourselves.

Let it go.

We don’t have to live that way. It’s okay to spend a little bit of money on ourselves. It’s okay to spend time doing something that will make us a better person. It’s good to spend time with friends. Otherwise, we get burnt out. No one likes the burnt-out version of us. Then we can show up better for everyone else around us, including our wives, children, and co-workers.

Do something for your health.

Buy that book you want to read.

Find a tribe of likeminded men to spend time with.

And don’t feel guilty about it.

Looking to join a tribe of likeminded men who want to live their lives on purpose? Check out The Dad Edge Alliance.

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==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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guilt

You should NEVER FEEL GUILT Investing in Yourself

Guilt: the fact of having committed a specified or implied offense or crime (Merriam Webster Dictionary). Is taking care of yourself a crime? We sometimes treat taking care of ourselves as if we believe it is a crime because we think that taking time for ourselves is taking time away from our family. But if we are simply physically “present” and not fully focused because we are too tired, too overwhelmed, too stressed, too you name it, then our physical presence means very little.

 

Don’t Give Into GUILT You Are Just as Important

 

We love our family and friends and we would do anything for them. The one person who we really should also pay attention to is the one we look at in the mirror every morning. Include taking care of yourself as part of loving your family and friends because it allows you to show up as the best version of yourself for others in the process.

 

Not Really Yourself

 

When you play the role of martyr and do everything for everyone else, you tend to build resentment toward the people you are doing things for. But, when you take time to take care of yourself, you have refueled your mind, body and spirit so that you can show up best.

 

Get rid of the guilt of taking care of yourself. You are just as important as those surrounding you. After all, if you are not at your best, you certainly cannot be the best for everyone else.

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==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

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