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teach grit

How to Teach Grit

Teach GRIT!

The Good Dad Project Podcast with Frankie Edgar was a game changer for so many reasons.  The coolest thing about the GDP and having a dad podcast is that no matter fame nor fortune, men jump at the chance to share their views, their journey, and even their struggles.

For this week’s five minute Thursday, I wanted to recap some highlights from the interview with Frankie.

When under pressure, be calm, cool, and collected

When the UFC Octagon cage doors close…anything can happen.  The secret to a successful outcome in the octagon is being prepared for anything because anything can happen.  Frankie shares that being calm, cool, and collected is absolutely necessary to be able to think rationally.

Being calm, cool, and collected is a skill that transfers from the cage to the family.  Through our journey of fatherhood, there will be situations that test us under pressure.  When we respond calmly and avoid a knee-jerk panic reaction, it illustrates our emotional resiliency.

How to teach GRIT

Teaching grit is probably one the most difficult lessons to teach our kids.  Our instinct is to protect them from anything that is difficult.  Our society also puts such an emphasis on winning at all costs.

Frankie mentioned that he loves leveraging sports to teach his kids grit.  For example, he doesn’t really care if his kids win or lose a wrestling match.  What he wants to see if how hard they fight for the win.  If there isn’t a desire and a fire in the belly to win, that is a bigger problem.  None of us can coach desire.  Desire is either there or it’s not.  However, we can teach how to leverage our desire to win to tap into our grit.  We can even leverage our losses to teach us lessons on how to win in the future.  Finally, we can teach grit through losing and failure.  A victory is even sweeter when we have to work at it extremely hard.  Lessons of grit are learned through sports and as parents we can use situations like losses to teach these lessons.

For Parents of Youth Sports:  Take a Seat and Enjoy

Frankie had some excellent advice for parents of youth sports and that’s “take a seat and enjoy.”  Be the silent voice of love and support when it comes to sports.  Its extremely difficult to not get emotionally wrapped up in our kids sports performance.  I am speaking from a father who is a parent and a coach of my kids sports teams and I see it all the time.

Parents can be extremely tough on their kids even when they think they are helping.  I didn’t really get this mentality until I read The Matheny Manifesto by Mike Matheny, manager of the St. Louis Cardinals.  If you really want to see your child love sports and if you want to see peak performance…take a seat, enjoy, and let the coaches do their jobs.

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Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

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Links

Connect with Frankie Edgar:

Frankie Edgar Website

Frankie Edgar Twitter

Frankie Edgar UFC Profile

frankie edgar

Frankie Edgar on Life Lessons from the Octagon

Frankie Edgar is a professional MMA fighter in the UFC. Frankie started his successful fighting career with a solid foundation of wrestling.  Two-time State Place Winner for New Jersey, 2nd in HS Nationals in 2000, 4x Division 1 National Qualifier for Clarion University and College Freestyle All-American in 2004.  He currently fights in the 155LB weight class in the UFC with 18 wins, 4 losses, and 1 Draw.  Frankie has 3 kids – 2 boys and 1 girl.

Frankie Edgar’s Upbringing

We are responsible for what we do, or for that fact, do not do. Frankie Edgar, UFC Champion fighter knows this very well. Growing up in New Jersey in a working class family, Frankie’s father showed his kids a life template for how to get through the good and rough times in life. Through his sacrifices for his family, Frankie learned from his own father that even when life doesn’t deal you a fair hand, it is up to the individual to do what is necessary to make the situation right.

Extreme Ownership and Life Lessons of Wrestling

Frankie took this mindset to the mat as a wrestler as well.  Frankie says the sport is different from other sports in that when you lose a match, the blame falls solely on your shoulders. There’s no one else to point the finger at. You either pinned your opponent or you didn’t. And so it goes in life: those who are successful are willing to take the blame for their mistakes and also know how to take a lesson from those mistakes.

Life Lessons Learned from the Cage

In the cage, Frankie says, even when he is faced with mind-wrecking punches, he has to remain “cool, calm and collected and make rational decisions.” Demonstrating this in the ring and in his life, he is able to set the example for his children that even in the most trying conditions, a calm mindset will help to fully understand the situation and make the best decision.

Take a Seat and Enjoy

Even when it comes to his own children, and those he coaches, he says he “take a seat and enjoy.”   He gives the same advice to parents of athletes. Instead of forcing your own desires on your kids, give them a choice so they feel empowered and know that they can make the decisions that impact their lives. (This seems to be a pervasive theme among all elite athletes we’ve spoken with).

Frankie Edgar on Teaching Grit

Overall, Frankie Edgar wants to make sure his kids learn to have grit, be good people and have a sense of culture. When it comes to his kids, Frankie says, he goes with his gut.

Free Resources:

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Frankie Edgar:

Frankie Edgar Website

Frankie Edgar Twitter

Frankie Edgar UFC Profile

Thanks for checking out this week’s Good Dad Project Podcast Episode featuring Frankie Edgar.

Other Shows Mentioned in this Episode

Good Dad Project with Carlos Condit on Grit and Gratitude

Good Dad Project with Jake Herbert on the Gold Medal Mindset

Good Dad Project with Charlie Brenneman on Driven for Excellence

Good Dad Project with Jim Miller on Living a Life without Regret

Carlos Condit on Grit, Gratitude, and Fatherhood

Carlos Condit on Developing a Mindset of Grit and Gratitude

About Carlos Condit

Carlos Condit (born April 26, 1984) is an American mixed martial artist, competing in the welterweight division of the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Condit is a former WEC Welterweight Champion. As of May 31, 2015, he is #4 in official UFC welterweight rankings.  28 of Condit’s 30 wins have come by way of knockout or submission. He has never been knocked out or stopped due to strikes; Condit’s only TKO loss was by injury.

Carlos Condit’s background

In this knock-out interview with MMA fighter Carlos Condit, Larry and Shawn take you through this man’s incredible career along with his tips for being a champion spouse and father. Condit’s details of his illustrious fighting career along with his passion for his family will inspire you to be a champion in your own life.

In the ring, one direct hit can take a fighter down. But it’s not the takedown that’s the issue; it’s what the fighter does in response to the takedown that defines them. Sometimes as a father, those takedowns in life can be difficult to come back from. If we take a step back from the situation, however, maybe we can see that getting back up isn’t as daunting as we thought.

Carlos Condit on Grit

When facing large challenges, don’t look at the big picture. Take it in smaller pieces. Look at what is right in front of you instead of the mountains up ahead. Condit says this is how he tackles balancing his life in the ring and being a good husband and father. It is, he says, through perseverance, grit and determination that he gets through struggles in life.

Carlos Condit on Fatherhood and Life Lessons

Teaching kids these lessons can be challenging, but demonstrating how to rebound from failure teaches them a critical life skill. Giving kids goals that are a little bit out of their reach can teach them what they are actually capable of and help them reach the next level of growth. Of course, they will not always succeed the first time, but teaching them to rebound from failure will be an invaluable lesson.

Carlos Condit on Gratitude

This is easy to say, especially when we hit bumps in the road in our careers or personal life. Maybe, though, we need to look at these bumps differently. Take this scenario for instance: you didn’t get the promotion you were hoping for and now your financial picture has changed. Instead of being depressed about the situation, be grateful. Yep, grateful. That job may not have been the best fit for you and maybe not getting this job allows you to research other opportunities for career growth.

Of course, all of this is not done in a vacuum; we need a good support system. Surround yourself with people who lift you up and are like-minded and challenge you. Condit says “yes” men don’t help you; find people who support you but also give you a dose of reality. Next time you find yourself down, seek your support system, learn from your situation and find the gratitude in your fight.

 

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

The Dads Edge Book

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Carlos Condit Links:

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