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managing happiness

Managing Happiness: Applying Business Success Principles to Family Life with David Henzel

David Henzel is a radically successful entrepreneur whose calling is to help people live happier lives. Most of us are trying to achieve a work life balance, but we tend to end up overwhelmed and stressed out. Our relationships with our family may be difficult or unfulfilling, but rarely do we give the same attention to detail to our home life as we do to our business. This show is about managing happiness by applying business success principles to your family life.

 

David Henzel

David Henzel is from Germany where his parents raised him in an unusual way – with no authority. David was given the freedom to make his own choices, good or bad, and deal with the consequences himself. He made a lot of stupid decisions, like beginning to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day at age twelve, but his parents gave him space to learn on his own while being a source of unconditional support. In his household, there was no violence or yelling. No matter what he did, he knew he could go to his parents. They were his allies, not adults to hide from.

My dad used to say, “If you have to yell, your argument is too weak.”

David always had the heart of an entrepreneur and dropped out of school early to pursue his dreams. He visited Los Angeles when he was eighteen years old, and felt the city was calling to him, but getting a visa was difficult. He had to open several businesses in Germany to raise enough money to set up his new life in the United States in 2009. David met his wife there, and they later they decided to move back to Europe to be closer to her family. They now live in Turkey with their three-year-old daughter.

Managing Happiness

At one point in their marriage, David’s wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. Thankfully she is cured now, but that dark time forced David to reflect on his life. Although he was a successful entrepreneur, he felt he wasn’t living up to his purpose. He was afraid he might die with regrets.

He pondered over what his purpose was and did a funeral exercise, imagining everyone he knew getting up and making speeches about him. What did he most want them to say?

From this he crafted his personal mission statement.

To be a change agent who’s transforming individuals and organizations so they can reach their full potential and consciously life the life they desire.

Applying Business Success Principles to Family Life

It was during an argument with his wife over who was responsible for changing their daughter’s diaper that David realized that one of the reasons for friction in the household was that no one knew what their roles were. Responsibilities and expectations were not defined like they were in a business environment.

So David and his wife made a list of who took care of which duties. He says this simple exercise took away 80% of arguments out of the relationship. We all spend time and money improving business structure, efficiency, and flow, but most of us don’t spend 1% of our time to make our family work.

David saw the amazing effect his experiment had on his household, and became passionate about sharing his methods. This is why he developed the Managing Happiness course so he could make an impact and, with feedback from participants, let his idea evolve.

The Epidemic of Stress

There is a tendency to want to keep up with the Jones’s. It’s ingrained in our culture that “living the American Dream” means having the big house, the top-of-the-line car, the jewelry for your wife, the latest toys for your kids. But many of those who are lucky enough to achieve this kind of success remain unhappy and don’t know why.

David Henzel says not to buy into what society or your parents think you need to be happy. Figure out what you want in life. Once you know, it’s easy to walk in the direction of your happiness.

A lot of people frantically climb the ladder of success.

David’s Two-Step Approach

David Henzel says happiness really does come from the inside. You can’t control what happens in your life, but you’re in full control of how you react to it. He uses these two simple guides to manage his happiness:

  1. Accept things, no matter how bad the situation is. Then you can react and plan your chess moves. Once you come to terms with reality, the noise in your head goes away. David suggests the Serenity Prayer, God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
  2. Practice gratitude. David has a gratitude rock that he keeps in his pocket all day. We tend to look at the biggest problem of the moment, which six months from now we won’t even remember. At the end of the day, we tend to remember the stressful parts instead of what went right. When we practice gratitude, we build up a gratitude muscle. Focus on the awesome stuff in your day, not the annoying things. You will realize there is so much to be grateful for.

The Managing Happiness Course

David Henzel admits that running a successful business while managing a great family life isn’t easy. Some would say you can’t have it all. But, by applying business principles to your family life, he can help you achieve happiness. That is why he is offering The Good Dad Project listeners 25% off his course.

Visit managinghappiness.com
and enter coupon code DAD when you check out.

 

MENTIONED EPISODE: Porn – Why We Watch It, When It’s a Problem, and How to Stop with Nell Daly


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

David Henzel’s Links

davidhenzel.com

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

 


David Henzel will be joining us for a live discussion
in The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE TO ATTEND!

Dad Edge Alliance

veteran fathers

Honoring Our Veteran Fathers

Veteran Fathers have a special place in our heart.

For this show, it is just a THANK YOU from the Good Dad Project to our men (especially dads) and women who defend our country.  THANK YOU for putting your life on the line and defending the freedoms that we enjoy.

Thank you for all you do!  Thank you for your service!

Larry Hagner

 

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Shane Ramer

Overcoming Addition and Becoming a Dad with Purpose with Shane Ramer


Shane Ramer, founder and host of That Sober Guy Podcast, comes on the GDP and shares an extremely raw interview on addiction, substance abuse, recovery, and being a dad with purpose.  Brace yourself for this amazing interview with Shane Ramer.

It’s the elephant in the room. Everyone knows it’s there, but no one wants to say anything; better to keep the status quo than rock the boat. No one knows what will happen if the boat is rocked and that is scary. At the same time, we hate the elephant; it is destroying our family, our other relationships and possibly our job. The elephant is addiction and addiction is hard to admit. Shane Ramer, founder of thatsoberguy.com, knows this reality all too well.

 

Shane Ramer’s Childhood and Background

Growing up, Shane turned to alcohol to soothe the pain he endured dealing with a troubled childhood. As he became an adult, Shane realized that he was using alcohol to escape life’s realities and soon came face-to-face with the fact that his own marriage was struggling because of it. He hit a wall. He could not longer stand the elephant in the room. With that, he sat down with his wife and said he needed help. Shane knew he was meant for something much more than where he was.

 

Going through intensive counseling and support from his family and friends, Shane learned to manage his life as an alcoholic. Knowing that he wasn’t the only one struggling, Shane started thatsoberguy.com in order to help other men struggling with similar issues. Today, Shane is a successful businessman, husband and father, dedicated to helping men voice their fears that keep them in the bonds of addiction.

 

But I’m Not an Addict

 

We’re not saying you are, but the lessons Shane discusses reach to all men. Society is great at telling boys that real men don’t cry, “suck it up” and never show emotion. So what do you do with all that pent-up emotion? Maybe you already have a healthy way of showing emotion, or maybe you need a little liquid courage to loosen up or just maybe you can’t get to work in the morning without your daily beer. Wherever you are on the spectrum, the learning to deal with fears and emotions without bottling them up will make you and those around you much happier.

 

It’s Ok to Talk About It

 

Again, we men are great at helping others solve their problems. That’s what we think we are here for. Our own problems? What problems? Oh! You mean the ones we don’t talk about? Well, we’ll be fine. Will we? Take a look at your own life and think about areas where your bottled-up emotions eat away at your true self. What is the worst thing that is going to happen if you talk to someone about your issues? You actually may deal with them? Whoa. What about your Man Card? Guess what, it’s safe and secure and probably in better condition than it was when you kept your fears and feelings to yourself.

 

Be A Man

 

Being a man means owning up to all areas of our lives. Even our fears. Showing up as the best dad, husband, employee and friend takes guts. Owning our issues takes even more guts and grit. You’ve got it in you, so be the best man you can be right now.

Resources:

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Shane Ramer:

Shane Ramer Twitter

Shane Ramer Website

Shane Ramer That Sober Guy Podcast

Shane Ramer Private FB Page (invite/request entry only)

courage

How to Feed Your Courage and Starve Your Fear

COURAGE is something every dad needs more of…the question becomes:  “How do we develop more of it?”

We can’t out run stress. It’s simply a fact of our daily lives. The idea that we “eliminate” stress from our life sounds great, but that means cutting out the parts that are most meaningful. Think about it: the parts of our lives that make us who we really are come from areas that bring stress: our work, our kids, our significant others. These aren’t “bad” stressors, but they are part of our lives. It’s not a matter of cutting these areas out, but a matter of how we handle them.

 

Always Darkest Before the Dawn

 

Truth. All too often, we get caught up in the negativity of our circumstances and fail to see what good might actually come out of them. Our mind will take us where we lead it. If we choose to ask questions like “why did this happen to me?” or “what did I do to deserve this?” we certainly will find ourselves at the end of a self-destructive spiral of pity and self-loathing. Yuck, we’ve all been there. But, if we choose instead to view a circumstance from a state of abundance instead of scarcity, we just might see that our “negative” circumstances have a lot to teach us.

 

What are You Feeding?

 

Our attitude about stress is all about what we choose to feed: fear or courage. We’ve talked about feeding the Fear or the Courage Wolf before and this is exactly what we have been encouraging. Choosing to nurture the Courage Wolf through affirmation statements gives us the strength to get through the circumstance and persevere. Whereas feeding the Fear Wolf only strengthens our stress, making us anxious and eventually paralyzing us from taking any positive action.

 

Choosing the Statement

 

It doesn’t have to be complicated. A simple phrase like, “I’ve got this” in moments of even the greatest doubts will trigger our minds to think in a state of positive action. Navy Seals even use these statements to get through their most difficult moments in training and the field (see the Mark Divine episode for more!). Like anything in life, how we confront stress is how our mind and body will respond. What it boils down to is the fact that we simply don’t give our minds enough credit for what they are really capable of.

 

It’s About the Questions

 

And what it also comes down to are the questions we ask ourselves. Really, how positive is it to ask ourselves, “what did I do to get here?”. After this question, your mind will tell you EXACTLY what you did to get “here”. Because our minds go where we ask them to go, we tend to lead them down a negative path with this line of questioning. A better, more positive question might be, “what can I learn from this event?”. Through this type of questioning we will find ourselves better poised to handle whatever the stressor might be and learn from it for the next time around.

 

We’ve just touched the surface here. Knowing that we, as men, face the societal challenge to be strong and unbending, we tend to shy away from anything that others might perceive as “weak”. But instead of suffering in silence from these stressors, learning to reprogram how we deal with them will only strengthen our relationships and better our lives.

Resources:

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

 THE FLOW CHART MENTIONED

courage

forging strength

Forging Strength in Our Darkest Hour


Forging Strength in your darkest hour!

I have gotten a ton of feedback from our last podcast on “How to Discover Daily Grit and Gratitude.”  From what I have heard, most people were surprised that my family went through such a life altering event by losing my son Gabriel.

 

I have had a lot of emails, texts, and communication through the GDP community about how much the last episode effected them personally.  What I am finding is that there is a vast majority of families out there who are afflicted with miscarriage or death of an infant.  I have even had questions asking why I have opened my life up so much about what happened during that six weeks and how it ended.

 

The bottom line is this…I shared it for several reasons.

 

It’s Healing

When we go through something that is literally life altering it changes us forever.  It’s easy to fall into a mindset up anger.  It’s also very common that an event like what our family went through can easily tear the strongest families apart.  When we share the events of our life to give strength to others, we heal.  Simple as that.  When we heal, we help heal others through our own struggles.

 

Forging Strength of the Family

Losing my son not only effected me, but it also effected my entire family.  My wife and two older sons took the loss of our son very hard.  To be honest, I underestimated how much it would effect my two oldest boys (Ethan 10 and Mason 8).  I can tell you without a doubt a ten year-old and an eight-year old child feels the devastating effects of loss when something like this happens.  However, here we are eighteen months later and I can tell you without a doubt our family is stronger now than it ever has been.

 

Forging Strength through Gratitude

My family learned firsthand the power of the right perspective even in our darkest hour.  Our family literally went through six weeks of hell that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.  Knowing you are going to lose your son will rattle even the strongest man.  However, I learned the power of having the right perspective in the midst of absolute uncertainty.  I kept a daily gratitude journal during this six-week long process and I believe it literally saved me from insanity.

 

Take 5 Minutes of Gratitude Every Morning

Every morning during that six-week journey, I wrote down three things that I was grateful for every morning.  I can tell you without a doubt, that most mornings it was very hard to see the positive aspects in my life.  However, I can tell you without a doubt that there were several things in my life that were positive.  It took a great deal of discipline to decide to focus on the right things in my life despite the chaos.  I would write down things like:

  • “I’m grateful I have a job.”
  • “I’m grateful my three boys and my wife all have their health.”
  • “I’m grateful we have a roof over our head.”

I will admit, on some days I stretched to find gratitude.  However, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, it was the best thing I did every morning.

 

My Hope for You

I share this story and this daily routine of:

Morning Gratitude – write down 3 things you are grateful for

Your Power Statement – write down your statement that you will use when the fear wolf starts to whisper in your ear.

Your Mission of the Day – what will you do today.  Come hell or high water, what will you accomplish today?

 

Evening Gratitude – write down 2-3 highlights through the day.  Get back into the mindset of gratitude.  The highlights are there every day if we decide to reflect on them.

Eradicate Regret from your Life – What was the lowest point of your day?  Write it down.  Get it out there.  Now, instead of focusing on how deeply you regret that low point, ask yourself “what is the lesson?”

Resources:

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Thanks for checking out this week’s Five Minute Thursday Episode on Forging Strength in our Darkest Hours.