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How to Commit to Life Goals

How to Commit to Life Goals the Navy SEAL Way with Thom Shea

Often when we confront obstacles – whether in work or at home – we want the map. We want the “how-to guide” to solving the problem. Today we have former Navy SEAL and author of Unbreakable: A Navy SEAL’s Way of Life, Thom Shea, to tell us why searching for the how-to is a waste of time and how to commit to our goals the Navy SEAL way.

Buckle your seatbelts, tie your shoes, because you’re really going to enjoy this show!

Thom Shea

Thom says he had a great childhood in southeast Indiana at a time when kids could do anything. He didn’t come from wealth, so if he wanted something he had to go out and get it, and he did.

At 10 years old, he had his own trap line to catch raccoons, muskrat, and other game. He kept a gun in his car and a knife on his hip. Now parents will get arrested for allowing their kids to carry weapons, but his parents were the best in the world. They told him, “As long as you can earn it, we endorse it.” This mentality took him all the way West Point and the SEAL teams. As long as he could accomplish it, they were supportive.

Of course, good support didn’t mean they agreed with his choices. They didn’t want him to go into SEAL teams. They were afraid of him being sent to war and getting killed. But, as a young man, he told them they could either support him or he wouldn’t come home. Now that Thom is a dad himself, he draws on that experience to inform his own parenting.

Your kids are going to do what they’re wanting to do. Keep encouraging them to be bold and brave. Say yes, instead of no.

Thom Shea has been married to his current wife of almost 13 years, Stacy. They have a boy named Chance who is going on eleven years old.  Thom also has two children from his first marriage, a seventeen-year-old son and a twenty-year-old daughter who is now attending West Point.

Thom said there is a huge difference between his first and second marriage. When Stacy came into their lives, everything changed. They all became better people.

If the woman is fully engaged as a mom, the kid flourishes. When the mom is checked out, the kid is checked out.

Thom says the are straightforward in their home life and that it’s the small things that keep the family together. They are physical and cuddly. His kids see mom and dad being affectionate. They eat as many family meals together as they can. They embrace failure because they know it’s the only way to learn and grow.

We love people making mistakes around here.

On Failure

Thom knows a lot about failure. He had to run home with his tail between his legs after flunking out of West Point. Then he had to endure BUD/s training five times in order to become a SEAL. He didn’t even know how to swim when he first signed up, but he didn’t bother on how to become a SEAL, he decided that a SEAL was who he was and committed to it until he succeeded.

Thom Shea says it’s never a matter of how-to. That’s not the place to look for the answer. The first place to look is at who you are is a human being. Being a dad is one of those challenges. When you become a dad, that is who you are and you must decide to commit to it. That means committing to your health, your business, your wife, and your spirituality.

It’s who you are and what you do. “How to” is tertiary.

Unbreakable

During deployment in Afghanistan, Thom didn’t know if he’d ever make it home alive. Each day, he wrote notes on what he was going through and what life lessons it taught him. At the end of a 6-month deployment, he had thirteen unbreakable lessons to share with his children.

After he came home, what would be a book sat on the shelf. His wife Stacy told him that she wanted him to complete the manuscript to print out five copies for immediate family. He organized his experiences and the lessons they taught him in a linear fashion and printed the first version.

They released it on Amazon and the book struck a chord with readers. It was soon picked up by a publisher and has been doing well ever since. Thom put the lessons online so every person can go through a guided process of the thirteen lessons outlined in Unbreakable. He also developed a course especially for executives.

Dad Advice

Thom Shea has a wealth of life-changing advice for men and dads, but his top words of wisdom are these:

  • Honor your word. Honor the fact that what comes out of your mouth is the most powerful thing you can give people.
  • Face everything that you’re afraid. Go do it.
  • Push beyond your self-imposed limitations and do it often.
  • Find love. Find a way to have love for the people in your life. Be one with the people around you and do it often.

 

Other SEAL Episodes

Chris Sajnog

Larry Yatch

Eric Davis

Mark Divine


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Daddy Will Always Love and Protect You

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Thom Shea

thomshea.com

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relentless pursuit of greatness Thomas Williams

The Relentless Pursuit of Greatness with former NFL Pro Thomas Williams

Today we have a treat for you. We’re interviewing former pro football player Thomas Williams who’s played for the Jaguars, the Seahawks, the Patriots, the Bills, and the Panthers. Listen as he takes us from overcoming his troubled childhood, to achieving his NFL dream, to using a career-ending injury as the jump-off point to the relentless pursuit of greatness.

Thomas Williams

Thomas struggled through a childhood of adversity. He was born to a white mother and a black father who split up when he was little and moved to opposite sides of the country. Thomas lived in a small town called Vacaville, CA with his mother. As a child he had a build up of anger and, being biracial he struggled with identity issues. He got into fights with other kids and was always getting into trouble at school.

What Thomas remembers most was thinking, why isn’t my dad here? He felt alone, hurt, and angry. He saw all the other kids with their dads and felt resentful. He took his frustration out on his teachers and schoolmates.

At the end of first grade, he got suspended. His mom said she  couldn’t take it anymore. Thomas still regrets what he said to her that day. He told her he didn’t love her and that he wanted to go live with his dad.

Thomas got what he wished for and went to live with his dad for a whole year. He expected to do all the father/son stuff–going to games, playing catch, and spending time together. The reality was altogether different. His dad was still in the military and spent little time at home. On most days, Thomas had to let himself in the house after school and cook and clean for himself. He was also exposed to alcohol abuse, gambling, and fornication at an extremely young age. His dad’s idea of fatherly instruction was to sit down with Thomas when he was in 2nd grade and watch Boyz n the Hood. The portrayal of the father and son in the movie was his indirect message to Thomas of what he expected their relationship to be like.

Thomas asked to move back to live with his mother by his 3rd grade year. He was never so apologetic. However, after the experience of living with his father and being exposed to such an unhealthy adult way of life, he noticed he was much more mature than his peers. He felt isolated and started getting into fights and into trouble again.

After he realized how truly frightened his mom was about his future, Thomas finally made the decision to change in the 6th grade and began a transformation into a more positive mindset. This allowed him to pursue his new dream, which was to be on a field with people filling the stadiums to see him play. His mom was doubtful that he could make it. Not many people succeed in professional sports, but he didn’t let her discourage him. He gave himself permission to dream, and he worked until that dream came true.

Football Career

Thomas gave everything he had to make it to pro football, but when asked what it was like to make it to the NFL he says:

It’s everything you can possibly imagine and less.

He found it unfulfilling compared to his expectations. He had the money and the status. He was living the dream, but like when he was able to move to his dad’s, the reality of the situation was entirely different. He had become a man by surmounting obstacles to reach his goals. Because of the determination and toughness he developed, he knew he couldn’t fail no matter the outcome. He realized that the journey was what was important, not the destination.

Don’t do things for the outcome. Do things because that’s who you are.

Thomas continued to push himself in his performance before suffering a severe neck injury that ended his football career for good. That night, he went to bed as a professional athlete, and the next morning, woke up as a former professional athlete. He was only 29 years old.

This didn’t stop him at all. Thomas knew he lived a hell of a life already, and he knew it was time to transform yet again. He wanted to share his story and show others that they can achieve their dreams no matter how big they are. It was this passion that gave him the platform to his purpose. Now he is a coach, a motivational speaker, and the author of two books.

Thomas Williams Dad Wisdom

Thomas isn’t a dad yet. He’s not even a husband yet, but he watches and learns from all those around him. He believes the most important thing to teach his future kids is that it’s okay to be themselves.

 

Did you catch all our episodes with the Navy SEALs? Click here.


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Thomas Williams’ Links

thomasrwilliams.com

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The Relentless Pursuit of Greatness

Permission to Dream


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Time to Do Epic Shit

Why It’s Time to Do Epic Shit TODAY

Are you waiting for the perfect time or place to start doing things you dreamed of? Are you waiting to save enough money, reach a certain age, or feel a certain way to step out of your routine and start making amazing memories? Today’s Thursday Throwdown is all about why you need to start doing epic shit TODAY.


Looking to join a tribe of likeminded men who want to live their lives on purpose? Check out The Dad Edge Alliance.

Create an Epic Life

join The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

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Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

todd stottlemyre

Breaking the World of Impossible with Todd Stottlemyre

Former Major League Baseball star, Todd Stottlemyre, tells us how to dream big, set goals, and create a plan to break the world of impossible.

Todd Stottlemyre is a former MLB starting pitcher, entrepreneur, speaker, and a transformational mindset coach. His book, RELENTLESS SUCCESS, comes out on July 1st, 2017. He also is the proud father of four daughters and one son.

Todd’s dad, Mell Stottlemyre, was a pitcher for the Yankees, and Todd grew up in Yankee Stadium among baseball’s most legendary players – Yogi Barra, Roy Munson, and Mickey Mantle.

He knew since he was a child that he wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps, and made his way to the big leagues. Like his dad, he also played with the world’s greatest players and was part of three different champion teams.

After his baseball career, Todd built a Wall Street firm that specialized in asset management. He was very successful, but he says it was only because he failed a bunch of times and learned how to jump up and try again.

Todd Stottlemyre considers himself blessed. His parents said you can, you will, go for it. He has achieved his goals and he’s gotten to the point where he wants to give back. Now he helps other people break the impossible to realize their dreams.

Chase your dreams, not someone else’s

Todd Stottlemyre says a goal becomes real by a massive desire that comes from within. There is no I want to do. There is only I must do. Some people might ask, what are you going to do if you don’t make it? If you have a true goal, that’s not a thought.

Just like in baseball, not every major league player’s son follows in his father’s footsteps, but Todd fell in love with the game early on. His Dad would come home from road trip and play ball with his brother and him before going to the stadium. If his dad saw them playing and they weren’t having fun, he’d tell them, “if you’re not having fun, don’t do it.” He didn’t care if they wanted to dig ditches, if when they dug a ditch, they did their best. Sports wasn’t required by his parents. They wanted him to follow his own dreams, work hard, live a life of passion, and strive to be the best at whatever they did.

However, Todd did share the same passion for baseball as his father. There was no I want to play. It was an I must play, and he focused and sacrificed to make his dream come true.

Habits and Sacrifice

Success is simple, but not easy. Small behavioral changes and action steps lead you closer to your goal, but you must make sacrifices and adopt new habits.

Some say it takes twenty-one days for a new habit to stick. Others say it takes much longer. It might be different for everyone. Todd says to force yourself to do new habits until you don’t have to think about it anymore. Just like when you were a kid and your parents reminded you to brush your teeth over and over, every night. It had to be drilled in. Now you brush your teeth without having to consciously think about it.

The good news is that successfully adopting new habits builds momentum into the next habits. Once you see it working, you believe in can happen, and it makes new habits much easier to take on in the future, and if your habits are part of your big picture goal, there will be no more should do’s, just do’s.

Balance

While you’re working toward your goals, Todd says it’s crucial to maintain balance in eight areas of your life – spiritual, family, relationships, health, job, financial, business, and personal development.

When striving toward goals, you can drive so hard, it consumes you. Sometimes you can forget the other pieces of your life and you are in danger of losing balance.

Todd sees these eight areas of life as a wheel. When one or two spokes in the wheel break down, you have a wobbly wheel. Life becomes unstable.

Family is one of the most important spokes in the wheel of life. Todd remembers one day when his wife told him, “When you’re at home, you’re not really home.” She said even the kids noticed, and wondered why dad always had to be on the phone or in the office working.

Todd’s advice on that balancing act is, “Wherever you are, be there 100%.”  When he’s on a date with his wife, there’s no calling, texting, email, or social media. When he’s working, he’s focused on work. He doesn’t take other calls while he’s in a meeting. The goal is to be well rounded and to keep the wheel rolling smoothly toward your goals.

Don’t Play the Victim

Some of us might think we’re not in ideal circumstances to chase our dreams. Todd says that when you’re stuck in a place that you feel is unfair, if you’re struggling, remember that it’s happening to you for a reason. The problems you’re facing now are giving you the wisdom that you will need for something around the corner you can’t see. Instead of playing the victim, play the champion and learn from the challenges that face you.

Ignore the Haters

Naysayers are going to try to take the wind out of your sails. You’ll come across small-minded people and even friends that will say “you can’t do that.” As we get older, we buy into all the reasons it’s not going to work.

Remember that most people who’ve done extraordinary things were surrounded by naysayers, but once they broke into the world of the impossible, then it became possible. If great achievers listened to the haters, they would’ve never crossed the threshold to the next level.

Seek Mentors

It’s human nature not to be coachable, especially men. We’re stubborn. We like to think we got it all figured out. We don’t even like to stop and ask for directions. But most successful people have had a mentor or group of mentors behind them.

Getting coached doesn’t mean you’re inadequate or lacking in talent. Coaches don’t stretch the human performance, coaches help us understand what our potential is. They see areas for improvement we don’t see. They shorten the learning curve

Todd’s Dad Wisdom

Todd Stottlemyre’s parents never said, you can’t do that, that’s crazy. He credits them for his winning attitude in life. That’s why he says that as dads, we must empower and encourage our kids no matter what. You, yourself, might think your kids are going to fail and be tempted to warn them that they might not make it. Don’t be the naysayer. You might not even know anything about the goal they’re trying to achieve. Ask yourself, is this an opinion?

Todd also urges dads to spend quality time with their families. Again, wherever you’re at, just be there. Do the listening, Be genuinely interested. Tell them you love them. Especially when it comes to the dad/daughter relationships, it’s important for them to know they’re loved. Don’t wait for them to approach you.

 


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


TODD STOTTLEMYRE’S LINKS

toddstottlemyre.com

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The #1 Reason Kids Quit Sports is Because of the Coach

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diamond dallas page

How To Dream Big and Conquer Your ​Aspirations with Diamond Dallas Page​

Today on The Good Dad Project I talk to wrestling legend Diamond Dallas Page about his career, his new projects, and his tips on raising FOUR daughters!

DDP’s Career

For the few who don’t know about Diamond Dallas Page, he’s famous around the sports entertainment world of professional wrestling as “DDP.” His drive and ambition would lead him on an inspirational journey from being three-time world wrestling champion to his current endeavor of inspiring others to Own Your Life. DDP has developed his life-changing DDPYoga including books, audio cd’s and DVD workouts and is touring the country to promote his system.

Diamond Dallas Page dreamed of being a wrestler since he was a kid. He started practicing and entered a few matches, but abandoned his goal of becoming a wrestler when he began working in nightclubs and bars at the age of seventeen. Page loved the bar industry, especially all the perks he enjoyed as part of the scene. But when wrestling blew up, he felt he should have been part of it and deeply regretted giving up on his childhood dream.

One day, Page and his friend were having drinks in the back office of the bar he managed. He started riffing on ideas about a character named Diamond Dallas Page and his entourage of females called “Diamond Dolls.” Page wrote it all down just for fun. Little did he know that this seed of an idea would turn into his dream career.

Page began as a wrestling manager and ended up stealing the stage away from the wrestlers in the ring. He long thought he was too old to begin training to wrestle, but he couldn’t shake the dream. Eventually, DDP made the remarkable leap into professional wrestling at the age of 36.

Diamond Dallas Page, the former good guy of World Championship Wrestling “turned bad” continues to be one of the most recognized and respected superstars of professional wrestling. Also known as the “people’s champion,” his contagious popularity can be credited to his unshakable confidence and positive energy.

DDP As a Husband and Father

Back in Page’s days as a bar manager, one of his best bartenders was abandoned by the father of her two girls. They were left with a mortgage for a $400K home and nothing else. Page stepped in and took on the roll of the father and has looked after them ever since.

His other two daughters he had with his wife, Brenda. Brenda and the two girls now help Page with DDP Yoga and his other endeavors. He says the relationship they have together now is amazing.

Dad Wisdom for Raising Daughters

Diamond Dallas Page says that living in a household with 5 women was a challenge, and it’s hard not to get caught up in the drama. He suggests the following:

  1. Breathe. The most important technique DDP uses to diffuse a situation is deep breathing. When drama ensues and emotions run high, he coaches his girls in breathing for up to five minutes before actually beginning to discuss the problem.
  2. Mediate. He also would sit his daughters in a room and break the issue down. The reason for the fight is usually below the surface, and he would force them to communicate and be accountable for their behavior.
  3. Don’t yell. As a professional wrestler, DDP knows how hard it is to control your voice when you’re angry, but he says that once you start yelling and emotions get involved, you’re not hearing them anymore.
  4. Listen. Bite your tongue, shut your mouth, and listen to their side of the story.
  5. You can’t be their buddy all the time. It’s important to learn how to say no sometimes and tell them why you are saying no.
  6. You’re not always going to do it perfectly. Page says that nobody’s going to be a perfect dad. Don’t beat yourself up about making mistakes, but…
  7. Learn from your mistakes. You can’t keep making the same blunders and expect it to turn out differently. If something is isn’t working in your relationship with your daughter, try a new approach.

Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Diamond Dallas Page’s links

DDPYoga.com

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