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confident mentally tough daughters

How to Raise Confident, Mentally Tough Daughters with Emily McCarthy


What kind of father do we need to be to raise girls into strong, empathetic, and emotionally resilient women? Today’s show is all about how to raise confident, mentally tough daughters.

Emily McCarthy is a former case officer for the CIA and the cofounder of GORUCK, a brand with Special Forces roots that leads backpacking events all over the world.

Emily lost her father when she was just getting out of college. It was a devastating blow, but the foundation he laid will echo for generations.

Emily talks about how her dad gamified safety and defense so she would always be ready to protect herself and others. She also talks about the many ways her father showed up in her life that made her into the incredible woman she is today.

Emily’s story is proof of the ripple effect a father leaves on his children’s lives, even if his time is cut short. Don’t miss this moving episode.

My father was a big part of my life because he showed up.

How to Raise Confident, Mentally Tough Daughters

  • What it was like for Emily to witness her father dying
  • The void left by the pillar of the family
  • In the wake of his death, she traveled the world as a language teacher.
  • How Emily’s father taught her and her brother important lessons veiled in fun activities
  • How her dad showed them to protect themselves through the gamification of safety and defense
  • How Emily’s father expected her to protect her brother and anyone who needed help
  • The many large and small ways her dad showed up for her
  • Emily’s father technique to train her “not to be a wuss”
  • How Emily’s father’s lessons helped her through bullying
  • How to instill healthy fear in your children
  • If you shelter a child too much, they will not have the healthy fear to protect themselves.
  • The unusual relationship between her and her husband/GORUCK cofounder, Jason
  • How once, in 5 years of their marriage, they never lived together
  • Her experience as a case officer for the CIA post-911
  • The happy accident of the GORUCK idea
  • How GORUCK events make people excited about life and bring about a sense of community
  • The benefits of GORUCK Events for parents and kids
  • How kids in a group setting self-correct­­–”the village teaches”
  • Rucking is just like life–you don’t know what to expect.
  • How Emily sees her father in her children, even though they never met him.

RELATED EPISODES:

How to Protect Your Daughter Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally with Warren Petersen

Being a Coach, a Dad, and Raising Strong Daughters with Bret Johnson

Raising Kids with the Dichotomy of Leadership with Jocko Willink

Emily McCarthy’s Links

gooddadproject.com/goruck

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The Everyday Fighter in Life


Every man is fighting something in his life. It could be a problem at work, an issue in a marriage, or a dilemma with our kids. It might even be something physical, mental, or emotional. But most of us were raised with the “suck it up” mentality. We hold in all our frustrations and struggle alone.

Thursday Throwdown is our show centered on relatable dads. Today we have Dad Edge Alliance member Philipp Lomboy on the show. He is an everyday dad of four girls and he is the host of a podcast called Everyday Fighter.

Philipp was a guy who never talked and always avoided conflict, especially when it came to his wife. He shares how making the choice to be more open has changed his life and inspired the idea for his new podcast.

 

MENTIONED EPISODE: How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood

 

Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
Thanks for the support.


Philipp Lomboy’s Links

everydayfighter.me

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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

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We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

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How to Protect Your Daughter Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally with Warren Petersen

Warren Petersen is the author of Becoming a Significant Man and he’s also a husband and a father to four kids. This is an important show about pulling ourselves out of the mud after losing everything, and how to protect our daughter physically, mentally, and emotionally in the world we live in today.

Warren Petersen

After the painful loss of his home, business, income, life savings, and even his own identity as a man, Warren Peterson was determined to use his experience and calling to help others. He founded Significant Man, an organization focused on leading men towards becoming the husbands, fathers, and leaders they were created to be. He loves teaching and mentoring men, seeing the changes in their lives, and the positive results in their families.

Warren was your stereotypical entrepreneurial success story. He ran an information security business and opened offices in Chicago, London, and Singapore. He was flown all over the world and traveled in limos to speaking gigs. Most men would say he was living the dream, until the recession hit. Warren lost his business, his house, his self-respect–everything.

Warren became so depressed that he considered ending it all. He felt worthless and that the best he could do was leave his life insurance money for his family. Eventually, he realized his role in his own downfall and that he had been riding the wave instead of steering his life with intention. He decided to make a choice to have faith and to start making choices based on his passion and purpose. Warren got knocked down as far as a man can get knocked down, and now he uses part of his experience to help other men.

If you’re laying in the mud, ask yourself which way are you looking? You can look down into the darkness, or you can roll over and look at the sky.

Protecting Your Daughters

Warren Petersen has three daughters. The youngest is 9 years old and the oldest is in her twenties. All dads are tempted to lock up their daughters and guard the house with a shotgun, but Warren says they will be going out into the world. We shouldn’t be paranoid and afraid. We should be smart. He believes we must protect our daughters in 3 crucial ways. As fathers, we must protect them physically, protect their heart, and protect them from today’s culture.

1. Protect Your Daughter Physically

Protecting our daughters physically is the most natural instinct fathers have. It starts from the earliest years, like when we tell them not to touch the stove. As they grow older, we warn them not to walk home alone in the dark and to have situational awareness. When they get to driving age we have to protect them by telling them to wear their seatbelt and not to text and drive. Other things dads need to do to protect their daughters is to make sure they know that they can fight back. Most girls don’t know that it’s okay. Tell her that she must fight to protect herself and maybe even take a self-defense class with her.

2. Protect Your Daughter’s Heart

Protecting our little girl’s heart is more challenging. A hardened heart is dangerous. We have to watch for signs as she grows up. We need to pay attention to her friends, her hobbies, and the music she listens to. Where does she spend her time online? We must investigate. Rarely does a child have a personality change without some influence in her life. We have to be observant and keep digging until we find the toxic friendship or event.

Also, we can’t run away from conversations about sex. Most dads leave this up to the moms, but we as dads, have a unique, powerful voice in the life of our daughters. If we avoid these tough discussions, we reinforce the idea that these are topics she should be scared of. Dads have to talk about boys and sex–not as a lecture, but an open honest conversation.

3. Protect Your Daughter in Our Culture

Our world has changed drastically with the advent of the internet. This new world is highly sexualized. Many dads are surprised to know how sexual ideas are shaped by porn.

We need to face the fact that this is the world our daughters are growing up in now.  The ideas of love, intimacy, the slow building of relationships–all these things are gone. Sex equals porn, where there is no romance or love story. Sex becomes disassociated with the relationships your daughter craves, but because it is so pervasive, girls think it’s the norm.

As awkward as it is, it’s up to us as dads to open the conversation. We have to teach the difference between love and sex. We must make sure our daughter understands respect, modesty, honor, and love. We must be the rock for her, not the judge.

 

Related Episode: How to Raise Strong, Confident, Resilient Girls with Bas Rutten


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Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Warren Petersen’s links

Amazon – Becoming a Significant Man

Website – significantman.com

Facebook

 


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raise strong girls

How to Raise Strong, Confident, Resilient Girls with Bas Rutten

Bas Rutten is retired UFC Heavyweight Champion and three-time King of Pancrase world champion. He’s a regular on TV, has also appeared in movies, and even makes a cameo in the Grand Theft Auto video game.

It’s hard to believe that Bas Rutten, also known as “El Guapo” or The Handsome One, suffered extreme eczema and asthma during his childhood. He was bullied on a regular basis in his native country of Holland. One day when he was on vacation with his family in France, he snuck into the movie theatre to see Enter the Dragon. Bas knew that if he became like Bruce Lee, the bullying would stop. This sparked a passion for martial arts that took him through a glorious career and taught him many life lessons he would pass on to his three daughters.

How to raise strong girls

Learn to say “no”

Bas admits to being a sucker for the sad look he gets from his girls when he refuses to give into them. But it’s important to put your foot down. If they know they can influence you early on, they will never take you seriously in the future. Bas’s parents instilled good morals and work ethic in him. If he wanted something, he had to work for it and started delivering newspapers and washing dishes at a very young age. He has done this with his daughters as well.

Don’t lose your girls to social media

In this world of Instagram and Snapchat, it can be challenging to get your daughters’ attention. Bas Rutten says that it is important to connect with your daughters on social media. This might seem daunting for those of us who didn’t grow up with social media, but Bas says fathers must evolve with technology so they are fully aware of what is going on.

Bas also knows that being obsessed with social media diminishes the present moment. When you’re taking a video of the moment instead of absorbing it with all your senses, you don’t experience it fully. You’re not likely to watch the video again anyway, so he teaches his family to put the phone down and disconnect.

Be consistent

If you give your daughters multiple warnings and they still fail to meet their obligations, you must follow through with the punishment you decided on. Bas recalls one time when he warned his daughter that if she didn’t finish her homework, he wouldn’t allow her to go to prom. She didn’t finish her homework, and even though it broke his heart to do it, he stood his ground and did not allow her to go to prom. It wasn’t an easy lesson, but it changed everything. Bas says, “If they don’t take you seriously, they won’t take life seriously.”

Teach them to speak up

Girls are taught to be quite and submissive. “If you set yourself up for being bullied, you’ll get it,” Bas says. The best way to teach daughters to be strong is to show them how to project confidence. If someone speaks the them or treats them the wrong way, teach your daughters to speak up. They must say something right away before others think they can get away with treating them that way.

He also says girls need to stand their ground when it comes to relationships. They should project what they expect, maintain their independence, and not cave into their partner’s wishes all the time. It’s important for them to establish this behavior from the beginning so that they don’t become the weak person in the relationship.

Have fun with life

Although Bas struggle with his health problems throughout his childhood, he didn’t feel sorry for himself. It actually made him more optimistic because he knew there were people even worse off than him. He also developed a great sense of humor to cope with and compensate for the ostracization he suffered from his peers. Bas considers his childhood curses a blessing. His experiences shaped him and after the challenges he faced as a kid, his life is easy now. He feels it’s important for daughters to be strong and disciplined, but it’s also important to remember to have fun. Life goes by quickly and no one knows how much time we have.

Bas Rutten’s Parting Piece of Dad Wisdom

Bas recalls how he surprised his daughter with a puppy by coming up with an elaborate trick. A small effort and a little ingenuity on his part created and unforgettable memory for her. Make memories with your kids. Do a little more to make an impact.


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Bas Rutten’s links

BasRutten.com

O2Trainer.com

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