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Using the Past to Become a Better Dad with Former NFL Player Billy Miller

Using the Past to Become a Better Dad with Former NFL Player Billy Miller

Today we are psyched to have Former NFL player and Super Bowl Champion Billy Miller on The Dad Edge Podcast. Most of the time we only see sports stars on the field or getting interviewed after the game. They have to give their camera-ready answers about the team’s performance, but rarely do we see the husband, the father, or the man behind the athlete.

In this episode, Billy Miller opens up his world to us. He delves into his rough childhood as the son of two drug addicts, his battle against depression, and how he uses his difficult past as a reference to become the best dad he can possibly be. He also talks about maintaining a circle of intimate friends, co-parenting with his ex-wife, and how he keeps work separate from his family.

'We are built, as men, to change.' – former NFL Player, Billy Miller @billymiller83 #men #dads #fathers #fatherhood #manhood Click To Tweet

Billy Miller

From the time Billy can remember, his parents were addicted to drugs. He’d wake up on a Saturday morning, make himself breakfast, lunch, dinner, go to bed, wake up, and do the same thing all over again for days. Billy was alone a lot and had to learn to take care of himself. He was forced to grow up quickly.

Billy’s dad was abusive to his mom and him. He also went to prison several times. Billy didn’t think anything of it because it became his normal.

As he got older, Billy moved to a much nicer area called West Lake Village. His new school was a total culture shock and a blessing for him. Billy is half white and half black, but he had never spoken a word to another white person except to his mom and his grandmother until he was thirteen-years-old.

In West Lake Village, Billy saw how parents could get along and how healthy families functioned. He realized very early how important being a father was. He noticed that every single word his father said resonated within him. He held onto this realization until he became a dad himself.

'It's those moments where you're becoming a reflection of your past that you know you're doing the best learning of what not do to as a father.' – former NFL Player, Billy Miller @billymiller83 #dads #fathers #men #fatherhood #legacy Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • How Billy suffered a bout of deep depression after he was done playing football
  • How depression helped him develop humility
  • What you need in addition to the desire to change
  • How we as men be better at asking for help
  • How to be honest about how you feel with your kids
  • How to show your kids how to be vulnerable
  • How being competitive lessens the chances of a man’s success
  • The trusted and honest relationship he had with his tribe of intimate friends
  • How to start a men’s group
  • How to deepen relationships with existing friends to go beyond the ordinary
  • About Billy’s divorce
  • How he coparents with his ex-wife
  • How couples can coparent peacefully and successfully even if they don’t get along
  • Why he didn’t talk to his brother for a long time
  • Why he hates when dads are not involved
  • How to not bring stress home to your kids, even when under the pressure of a job like playing in the NFL
  • How to come home and be superman
'Don't wait till the last minute. Don't wait to the bottom of the bottom to ask for help.'– former NFL Player, Billy Miller @billymiller83 #men #depression #stress #mentalhealth Click To Tweet

We appreciate all the support!

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Billy Miller’s Links

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'Being a dad was vastly more important than anything I was doing.' – former NFL Player, Billy Miller @billymiller83 #dads #fathers #sports #NFL #parenting Click To Tweet

Resources

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


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relentless pursuit of greatness Thomas Williams

The Relentless Pursuit of Greatness with former NFL Pro Thomas Williams

Today we have a treat for you. We’re interviewing former pro football player Thomas Williams who’s played for the Jaguars, the Seahawks, the Patriots, the Bills, and the Panthers. Listen as he takes us from overcoming his troubled childhood, to achieving his NFL dream, to using a career-ending injury as the jump-off point to the relentless pursuit of greatness.

Thomas Williams

Thomas struggled through a childhood of adversity. He was born to a white mother and a black father who split up when he was little and moved to opposite sides of the country. Thomas lived in a small town called Vacaville, CA with his mother. As a child he had a build up of anger and, being biracial he struggled with identity issues. He got into fights with other kids and was always getting into trouble at school.

What Thomas remembers most was thinking, why isn’t my dad here? He felt alone, hurt, and angry. He saw all the other kids with their dads and felt resentful. He took his frustration out on his teachers and schoolmates.

At the end of first grade, he got suspended. His mom said she  couldn’t take it anymore. Thomas still regrets what he said to her that day. He told her he didn’t love her and that he wanted to go live with his dad.

Thomas got what he wished for and went to live with his dad for a whole year. He expected to do all the father/son stuff–going to games, playing catch, and spending time together. The reality was altogether different. His dad was still in the military and spent little time at home. On most days, Thomas had to let himself in the house after school and cook and clean for himself. He was also exposed to alcohol abuse, gambling, and fornication at an extremely young age. His dad’s idea of fatherly instruction was to sit down with Thomas when he was in 2nd grade and watch Boyz n the Hood. The portrayal of the father and son in the movie was his indirect message to Thomas of what he expected their relationship to be like.

Thomas asked to move back to live with his mother by his 3rd grade year. He was never so apologetic. However, after the experience of living with his father and being exposed to such an unhealthy adult way of life, he noticed he was much more mature than his peers. He felt isolated and started getting into fights and into trouble again.

After he realized how truly frightened his mom was about his future, Thomas finally made the decision to change in the 6th grade and began a transformation into a more positive mindset. This allowed him to pursue his new dream, which was to be on a field with people filling the stadiums to see him play. His mom was doubtful that he could make it. Not many people succeed in professional sports, but he didn’t let her discourage him. He gave himself permission to dream, and he worked until that dream came true.

Football Career

Thomas gave everything he had to make it to pro football, but when asked what it was like to make it to the NFL he says:

It’s everything you can possibly imagine and less.

He found it unfulfilling compared to his expectations. He had the money and the status. He was living the dream, but like when he was able to move to his dad’s, the reality of the situation was entirely different. He had become a man by surmounting obstacles to reach his goals. Because of the determination and toughness he developed, he knew he couldn’t fail no matter the outcome. He realized that the journey was what was important, not the destination.

Don’t do things for the outcome. Do things because that’s who you are.

Thomas continued to push himself in his performance before suffering a severe neck injury that ended his football career for good. That night, he went to bed as a professional athlete, and the next morning, woke up as a former professional athlete. He was only 29 years old.

This didn’t stop him at all. Thomas knew he lived a hell of a life already, and he knew it was time to transform yet again. He wanted to share his story and show others that they can achieve their dreams no matter how big they are. It was this passion that gave him the platform to his purpose. Now he is a coach, a motivational speaker, and the author of two books.

Thomas Williams Dad Wisdom

Thomas isn’t a dad yet. He’s not even a husband yet, but he watches and learns from all those around him. He believes the most important thing to teach his future kids is that it’s okay to be themselves.

 

Did you catch all our episodes with the Navy SEALs? Click here.


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Thomas Williams’ Links

thomasrwilliams.com

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

The Relentless Pursuit of Greatness

Permission to Dream


Create an Epic Life

join The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance

 

anthony trucks

Defying All Odds with Anthony Trucks

Anthony Trucks…defying the odds.

Victim of circumstance. That is not who Anthony Trucks is. Growing up as a foster child, he chose not to fall into the stigma of the statistics for many foster children. Instead, he used that societal assumption as a catalyst for his life. He decided that he would go against the presumed outcome of foster children as failures in life and challenged all preconceived notions. With a passion for football, and the support of his foster parents, Anthony succeeded in playing college ball, going on to professional football and then on to a successful entrepreneurship in  motivating others.

Go Against the Assumptions

Just because there are statistics and societal assumptions regarding various life situations, does not mean we are doomed to fall into them. It takes an active choice to live life differently from those assumptions. No, it’s not easy, but choosing how to live your own life, despite your circumstances, allows you to break free from societal notions of how you should live your life. It’s a conscious decision to be how you choose to be, rather than how others believe you should be.

Anthony Trucks on Setting the Example

A common theme on the GDP is setting the bar for our kids. Every action we take is imprinted on their very impressionable minds. If we choose to be victims, more than likely, our children will learn those very behaviors. Without making the deliberate choice to live differently, we choose to have outside influences make the choice for us. However, if we learn how to live beyond our circumstances and change our perceived outcome, our children learn to beat the odds as well and develop skills to overcome life’s challenges.

Being Grateful

You’ve heard this a time or two on the GDP as well. While we may not be able to control our circumstances, we can control our response to them. Instead of wondering why bad things happen to us, look at those situations with gratitude. This choice affords us the opportunity to learn to make things better. After all, without those situations, we could not grow into better people.

 

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

JOIN US FOR FOR THE SEALFIT 2oX on June 24th at Vail Lake, CA HERE.  Use “GOODDAD10” for the coupon code and save 10%

Checkout Unbeatable Mind Online HERE

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Anthony Trucks

Anthony Trucks Website

Anthony Trucks Facebook

Anthony Trucks Resources

Thanks for checking out this week’s podcast with Anthony Trucks

niyi sobo

Take Your Life to the Next Level with Niyi Sobo

It’s ok to make mistakes. As a matter of fact, it’s the mistakes we make that craft our lives. Our culture, though, has made mistakes seem like the ultimate failure, conditioning us to avoid them and, in turn, teach our children to do the same. Unfortunately, this mindset cripples us and keeps us from taking the necessary risks to improve our lives. With this said, if we teach our children this way of thinking, we cripple their potential.

 

Niyi Sobo, former running back for the New Orleans Saints and founder of I’m Not You, practices the mindset of failing forward. Learned from his own father, Niyi Sobo teaches his own children that mistakes in life are necessary and are actually good.

 

Niyi Sobo on Taking Risks

 

Sometimes, we don’t want to do things even when we have to. If we don’t, though, we will not get the results we want. Even worse, we then teach our kids that it’s ok to skip out of the hard work it takes to reap rewards. When we push ourselves past our comfort zones, we demonstrate for our kids that they can reach beyond their current potential.

 

Every Day is a Lesson

 

Ever wake up and nothing seems to go right-the kids don’t want to get ready for school, the disposal backs up, the dog decides to go for an unexpected run around the block when you need to leave for work? The common response is, “well this day is ruined.” Is it? Look at these things differently. Yes, the morning’s events did not go as you planned, but look back at the morning and see what really was going on. Once you’ve looked at the day’s events, reflect on what you can do differently, or what went well, and use this as a growth experience.

 

Apology. Accepted.

 

You’ve made a mistake. This mistake has possibly negatively affected someone else. It’s hard to accept when we’ve made a mistake and it’s really hard when we have to swallow our pride. But when we apologize for the mistake and own it, we not only show the other person we are sorry (which goes a long way, by the way), we can also take a lesson from the mistake. So, the mistake is two-fold, the apology is made, and we accept our failure as a lesson for the future. An added bonus is that our children see how we have handled the situation and are more likely to model their behavior after it.

Resources:

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Niyi Sobo Links

Niyi Sobo Twitter

Niyi Sobo Website:  Im Not You