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SAVAGE GENTLEMAN

The Savage Gentleman with MMA Fighter Josh Tyler


Life can often feel like a cage fight. Punches fly at us from every angle. We’re swept off of our feet and tackled to the ground. Sometimes we’re straight up knocked out. And if we aren’t prepared to battle, we might never get back up.

Today’s guest is MMA fighter Josh Tyler. He is also the co-founder of Savage Gentleman, a retail brand and ethos that believes that men are both savages and gentlemen.

Josh is here to reveal his secret to remaining calm in the chaos of the cage. He tells us how to employ emotional intelligence, communication, and self-awareness in a masculine way. Josh also talks about how he’s applied what he’s learned as an MMA fighter to family life.

“The world is full of savages and gentlemen. Rare is it to find a man who can be both.”

Josh Tyler and the Savage Gentleman

“The world is full of savages and gentlemen. Rare is it to find the man who can be both. It is not ideal void of all traits of masculinity, nor is it suitable to succumb to one’s every base desire. There must be a balance struck between the two sides of the same coin that is manhood. This is the plight of the savage gentlemen, to cultivate both aspects of his being and achieve his full potential.”

What You’ll Learn

  • Growing up, Josh was not athletic. He wanted to become a scientist.
  • How Josh managed to remain internally calm during the external chaos of the ring
  • How to perform a stress evaluation
  • Your body doesn’t recognize the difference between stresses.
  • You can take the stress tolerance from the situations you’re used to and apply it to other areas.
  • Use times of success in the past as reference points.
  • Seek new experiences to push your limits further.
  • How marriage is like a cage fight
  • How to balance the savage gentleman
  • Learning how to operate in tandem with another human being (like in marriage) can help in business and other relationships.
  • Men are woefully ill-equipped to enter into a partnership with someone of the opposite sex.
  • Just like in the world of fighting, how can you win in marriage when you don’t know the rules or spent enough time training? You have no context to realize what you’re good at and where you need work.
  • Knowing where your weak spots are allows you to solve those problems.
  • Ignoring your feelings prevents you from finding the root cause.
  • You have to take responsibility to learn how to communicate better.
  • You do feel stuff, whether you admit it or not, and you will receive what you put out.
  • The secret is to understand where your anger is coming from.
  • Most people go through life with very little thought and reflection on the what and why.
  • Self-awareness and personal development are not for wusses.
  • Pay attention and notice the cues of where you need to focus your awareness.
  • There are appropriate times to be vulnerable.
  • In marriage, if you don’t let someone in to know you on a deep level, you end up growing apart and not knowing who each other are anymore.
  • Bitterness and resentment change your perception of someone.
  • Sometimes the best thing in marriage is to have the fight.
  • Avoiding confrontation and letting stuff go for too long destroys the chance of ever getting back on track.
  • Develop a Standard Operating Procedure for how to handle tough arguments with your spouse.
  • People are getting worse at interfacing with each other in meaningful ways because of technology and distraction.
  • But first, we need to learn how to interface with ourselves better.

RELATED EPISODES:

No More Mr. Nice Guy with Dr. Robert Glover

Why Nice Guys Don’t Get Their Needs Met

Pulling the Positive from Failures with UFC Champion Frankie Edgar

The Real, Transparent, Imperfect Dad with Tim Kennedy

How to Fix Your Unhappy Marriage with Seth and Melanie Studley

 


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how to persevere in spite of fear

How to Persevere In Spite of Fear with Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman


Today I’m having a conversation with former UFC fighter and bestselling author of Driven: The Unlikely Journey from Classroom to Cage. He is also a podcast host, a speaker, a husband and a dad. Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman is back on the show for his third episode!

We’re going to have an authentic conversation about how to approach life as a constant learner, how to live by your core values, and how to find work that makes you come alive. We also discuss how to teach our kids extreme ownership, how to accept our fears and take action in spite of them, and how to keep momentum while pursuing our goals even when we feel like giving up.

I’m talking to the inner voice in all of us that feels alone and that feels like we can’t do it.

 

Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman

Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman is a professional mixed martial arts fighter, speaker and mentor. Following a successful high school wrestling career, Charlie took his talents to Lock Haven University where he achieved a top 12 finish at Division I Nationals and 1st Team All-Academic. After teaching Spanish for three years and winning Spike TV’s Pros vs. Joes, Charlie decided to leave his job to pursue a master’s degree and begin his professional fighting career—“The Spaniard” was born. In 2011, he was ranked as high as #7 in the world. “The Spaniard” has fought at the highest level of the sport in three countries. He currently lives in PA with his wife, daughter and son where he has transitioned to speaking, writing, and hosting The Spaniard Podcast about learning, acquiring wisdom and toughness through books, conversations and interviews, and training.

To do anything great, to pursue anything worthy, it takes hard work, it takes consistency, and it takes commitment. Sometimes people need an example.

What You’ll Learn

  • How to be physically and mentally primed to be a dad and husband
  • Charlie’s 3 fitness goals
    • to be able to kick butt
    • to defend himself and his family
    • be able to run a 15 mile obstacle race on any day
  • How he does 1000 pushups in 40 minutes
  • How physical fitness instills confidence
  • How Charlie transitioned to speaking and writing after his fighting career was over
  • About his 7 episode-a-week podcast, The Spaniard
  • How, contrary to belief, fighters do experience fear
  • How Charlie acknowledges that he is afraid, self-conscious, and anxious and keeps going anyway
  • Why we need to get over the idea that fear is weakness
  • How to distract yourself from negative thoughts
  • Charlie’s greatest fears as a father
  • How he had to reframe his ideas about his kids, allowing them to become what they want and not who he wants them to be
  • Resisting the trap of living vicariously through your kids’ activities
  • How to teach kids integrity and live that example as well
  • Why as a father, you must be open an honest when you make a mistake, explaining things and admitting your faults not matter how young your kids are
  • How to find the work that makes you come alive
  • Charlie’s mission for his podcast—to help listeners of all ages develop character, perseverance, and resilience
  • His advice for those who want to create something
  • How to have the courage to keep going even when times get tough
  • How to get beyond surface doubt and tap into your heart and soul
  • How to overcome the overwhelm of getting started
  • Being prepared to play the long game
  • How to enjoy the moment of the success in the face of new goals
  • His best marital advice—Read The 5 Love Languages
  • The best part of his marriage—How his wife’s body has changed since becoming a mother
  • The most satisfying part of being a father and the most challenging parts
  • Charlie’s challenge! Read a book, take a pic, post it tagging Charlie, and he’ll retweet/share it to his audience @charliespaniard.

Don’t take your frustrations out on other people, especially your kids


MENTIONED EPISODES:

Charlie Brenneman: How to Live a Life of Excellence

Brenneman vs. Hagner: The Good Dad Project Interview

How to Break the Cycle of the Fixed Mindset with Larry Yatch

How to Instill the Growth Mindset in Your Kids with Larry Yatch

Secrets of the Navy SEAL Mindset: Courage, Confidence, Perseverance and Resilience

Extreme Ownership for Fathers with Leif Babin


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Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman’s links

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