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Inadequacy, Insecurity, and Imposter Syndrome

Inadequacy, Insecurity, and Imposter Syndrome with Mike Kitko


Do you feel the need to be perfect, and at the same time, think you’ll never be good enough? As a man, husband, and father, are you plagued by deep-rooted feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, leaving you terrified that people will find out you have no idea what you’re doing? That’s your imposter in charge and he’s preventing you from living as who you really are.

Mike Kitko is an Executive Self-Mastery Coach, speaker, and author. After a colossal career and personal meltdown, he found his true purpose—inspiring leaders to find the power in their authenticity, purpose, and passion.

Today, Mike Kitko talks about how inadequacy, insecurity, and imposter syndrome ruled his life. He teaches us how to cultivate self-awareness and diffuse the imposter before it sabotages us. He also tells us how to stop running from fear and start chasing our purpose so we can provide a loving, safe, and prosperous environment for our families.

Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? How do you defeat the imposter in charge? Find out in this episode!

Mike Kitko

A Marine with an MBA, Mike has decades of experience in leadership roles for Fortune 500 companies, yet he always felt like an imposter. His outward persona was one of strength and wealth, yet he struggled internally with self-confidence and self-fulfillment. His inability to understand his emotions led him to alcoholism, uncontrolled anger, and ballistic rage. He abused his marriage, family, professional career, and health.

Through coaching, intense study, and deep work, Mike learned to embrace self-doubt and care for his body, mind, emotions, and soul with self-mastery. Now Mikes overflowing energy, clarity, and love inspires souls. With an infectious zest for life, internal power, and inward confidence that matches how people perceive him externally, Mike has turned his life around. And he wants to help you to do the same.

If you can’t feel it, you can’t heal it, and if you can’t heal it, you can’t be you.—Mike Kitko

The Imposter in Charge

Life’s good, right? You’ve got the high-paying job, the car, the home, the family–so why do you feel so incomplete?

Maybe your ego is bursting at the seams and you can’t show yourself for who you really are. Perhaps you have no boundaries and you pour yourself into others–their problems, their pressures, their pleasures–at the expense of yourself and your own family. You might think you need to be perfect but are acutely aware that you’re not good enough. Could it be that deep-down you feel inadequate, incapable, and like a fraud?

You don’t have to live like that. The Imposter in Charge is the vulnerable and raw account of Mike Kitko’s journey from being an overweight, overstressed, overachieving alcoholic business executive who was on the brink of divorce, to a life of authenticity, courage, confidence, and clarity. This transparent account offers a then-to-now experience, as well as practical applications and practices to help you break out of the imposter syndrome yourself–once and for all.

What You’ll Learn

  • Men learn from a very young age to not be real, vulnerable, and or have emotions.
  • When we wear a mask and shrink, we can’t really feel human.
  • What it means when everything you thought would bring you happiness doesn’t.
  • How the world loves you exactly the way you are. When you realize that, things start to change
  • Mike used to be over 300 pounds and an alcoholic.
  • When Mike figured out that he had nothing figured out
  • When Mike quit drinking, he lost who he thought were friends, but then real people showed up.
  • How Mike made the bold move to leave his corporate job and create his coaching business.
  • How he fell head over heels in love with his wife again after their marriage was nearly destroyed.
  • Perfection is impossible
  • Emotions are going to make us behave badly.
  • Accept that on the journey of improvement, you’re going to stumble,
  • Why you must surrender to the natural feeling of inadequacy and insecurity.
  • What is a critical purpose decision?
  • 90% of people are running away from fear. 10% are chasing purpose.
  • We’re not here to survive, play small, provide and buy more stuff.
  • You don’t have to sacrifice yourself to have a lucrative business.
  • Your desires are your gateway to understanding what purpose you serve.
  • How men can find their true purpose and make sure they’re not chasing someone else’s purpose.
  • Lack of self-awareness drives the imposter syndrome.
  • The importance of knowing your talents and weaknesses.
  • Getting and staying in your “zone of genius” as much as possible
  • Clarity is a creative force.
  • His mission is to move men from survivorship to leadership
    • Yourself
    • Society
    • Family
  • We can’t provide a safe prosperous loving environment for our families if we are not living authentically.
  • Love = Letting Others Voluntarily Evolve
  • How we’re inadvertently telling our kids their choices aren’t good enough.
  • We’re not here to help our kids avoid mistakes, but to help them make choices after they understand the consequences.

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The Smart Way to Keep Kids Safer Online

Bark’s affordable, award-winning dashboard proactively monitors
text messages, YouTube, emails, and 24 different social networks
for potential safety concerns,
so busy parents can save time and gain peace of mind.

CLICK HERE TO GET BARK
Use coupon code GOODDAD at checkout for a 7-day free trial and 10% off!


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lifelong learner

The World’s Toughest Lifelong Learner


Today, Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman revisits The Dad Edge. He is a former Spanish teacher turned UFC Champion who now hosts The Spaniard Show podcast and is the author of Driven: My Unlikely Journey from Classroom to Cage.

Charlie is here to talk about his new book, Becoming the World’s Toughest Lifelong Learner: A Book for Anyone Who Wants to Pursue Anything. He shares his principles for overcoming the fear of starting something new and pushing through obstacles in business, health, and relationships. He gives us a template on how to tap into courage and the mental tools we need to keep moving forward not matter what. Learn how to become the world’s toughest lifelong learner in this episode!

 

Becoming the World’s Toughest Lifelong Learner

Whatever idea or passion you pursue, you’ll face obstacles, mess and doubt. I know because I’m chronicling the ups and downs in real time as I build my life and career: TOP 7 ranked UFC fighter, reality TV champion, nationally-ranked Division I wrestler / 1st Team All-Academic, podcaster with 1200+ episodes. This book is a combination memoir and how-to for hanging tough as you find the best way forward. In it, I share 11 principles that have helped me transition from professional fighting into podcasting, speaking and writing. I hope you’ll join me in trying to live them out and learn from the best. In the first three years of my podcast, I’ve recorded 128 talks with world-class guests, and I’ve systematically shared insights from studying 89 books. This is how I pursue my mission to embody and inspire lifelong learning that will help you make the most of your life. I’m out to sharpen the same hunger in you so you can take my title: World’s Toughest Lifelong Learner.


RELATED EPISODES:

How to Persevere In Spite of Fear with Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman

Brenneman vs. Hagner: The Good Dad Project Interview

Raising Kids with the Dichotomy of Leadership with Jocko Willink

How To Dream Big and Conquer Your ​Aspirations with Diamond Dallas Page​

Pulling the Positive from Failures with UFC Champion Frankie Edgar


Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
Thanks for the support.

CLICK HERE.


The Smart Way to Keep Kids Safer Online

Bark’s affordable, award-winning dashboard proactively monitors
text messages, YouTube, emails, and 24 different social networks
for potential safety concerns,
so busy parents can save time and gain peace of mind.

CLICK HERE TO GET BARK
Use coupon code GOODDAD at checkout for 10% off

 


Charlie “The Spaniard” Brenneman

charliespaniard.com

The Spaniard Show

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how to live in the present

Do a Day: How to Live in the Present with Bryan Falchuk


Today’s show is all about how to live in the present. We always hear people talking about it, but how exactly is it done?

Most of us hold onto shame, guilt, and feelings of unworthiness from yesterday. At the same time, we feel constant anxiety when we think about what tomorrow might bring. This ruins any chance of making today a great day and keeps us in a state of fear that negatively effects our relationships at home and at work.

Bryan Falchuk is a life coach, TEDx speaker, and the bestselling author of Do a Day: How to Live a Better Life Every Day. He’s going to give us a formula to help us live in the present moment by confronting our past and removing anxiety about the future. Today is a new day. Go out and do it!

If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you’re pissing on the present.

 

Bryan Falchuk

Bryan is a best-selling author, speaker and life coach. He has faced major adversities and learned how to overcome and achieve. From obesity to running marathons, from career struggles to success as a CXO, from watching illness threaten his family to finding lasting health, he has been through many lessons he used to develop his unique approach to inspiring others succeed.

Bryan’s work has been featured in several top publications like Inc. Magazine, The LA Times, Chicago Tribune and more. He has spoken at multiple TEDx events, and has been a featured guest on over 100 podcasts and radio shows.

While Bryan lives in the US, he has worked and lived in numerous countries and cultures across the world, giving him a truly global perspective.

If you don’t deal with that weight that’s on you, it will deal with you.—Bryan Falchuk

What You’ll Learn

  • What happened to Bryan, the youngest of four kids, when his parents divorced
  • How he used food as a comfort mechanism when he was a child, leading to obesity
  • His love of mayonnaise sandwiches
  • How Bryan had the biggest boobs in school
  • His constant fear of putting weight back on
  • How he’s moved past the fat kid that lived inside of him
  • Now, Bryan exercises because he enjoys it, not because he’s afraid of being fat
  • How most of us carry someone else’s load on top of our own. We bury what we’re dealing with because we’re handling stuff for others.
  • The crucial importance of confronting your past
  • How Bryan failed his wife during the illness that nearly caused her death because he was too reactive
  • The defining moment when Bryan realized he was responsible to raise his son … and he was failing
  • How Bryan justified his anxiety by telling himself that his over-worrying was responsible for getting him this far
  • In reality, Bryan had no self-worth for many years
  • How living in yesterday ruined Bryan’s job
  • If you expect confrontation, you will get it.
  • Your fear makes you throw away the capability you have today.
  • The more you evolve and explore, the more opportunities you will have.
  • What’s most important for Bryan to do every day for his wife and kid
  • How to share your issues without taking the joy from others
  • How to take others’ issues without reacting
  • How Buddhism influenced him
  • The 4 Components of How to Live in the Present:
    • Self-love – the solid ground. Without self-love you will self-sabotage because you believe you’re not worth it
    • True motivation – will keep you moving no matter what. Deep within you, they are the things that choke you up. What will you always care about?
    • Look at your life – Where do you want it to be? What is serving you, what is not? Deal with your issues, past and future.
    • Make a plan for today – How are you going to react? What will you do to change the thoughts and habits that are not serving you?
  • The ongoing process of Do a Day

 

Visit
bryanfalchuk.com/dadedge
for a discount signed version of his book
and other special offers!


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Bryan Falchuk’s Links

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alter ego effect todd herman

The Alter Ego Effect with Todd Herman

There is only one person keeping you from reaching your full potential, and that is you. Today we’re going to reveal an extraordinary way to bypass fear, doubt, and limiting beliefs by creating heroic alter egos.

Todd Herman is a high-performance coach and the author of The Alter Ego Effect: The Power of Secret Identities to Transform Your Life. He is going to teach us why alter egos work, how to create them for different aspects of our lives, and how to activate them to help us become effective businessmen, intentional husbands, and patient and present fathers.

Todd Herman’s tools, insights, and philosophy will blow your mind. Prepare to discover the power of your secret identity!

'When you change someone at the identity level, all the habits, behavior, and beliefs change along with it.'— @Todd_Herman #performance #limitingbeliefs #alterego Click To Tweet

Todd Herman

Todd Herman is an author, performance advisor, and entrepreneur. For 22 years, his training company, Herman Performance Systems, has focused on helping achievers and ambitious people in sport & business, achieve wildly outrageous goals while enjoying the process. Originally from Alberta, Canada where he grew up on a large farm and ranch, where he developed a healthy dislike of chicken coops.

His company has a suite of programs serving Olympic athletes, Entrepreneurs, and Leaders. He’s been featured on the Today Show, Sky Business News, Inc Magazine and CBC National News.

He lives in New York City with his wife and three young children and is currently the worlds worst ukulele player.

'Mental toughness is ability to be adaptable and flexible despite what your circumstances are giving you right now.'— @Todd_Herman #mentaltoughness #resilience #motivation Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • How Todd got started with the alter ego idea
  • Todd’s beginnings as a high-performance coach
  • His time as a nationally ranked badminton player
  • Why kids should learn to play both a team sport and an individual sport
  • What he learned from coaching Olympians
  • The gold thread that connected all the highest performers
  • How he developed a process and system to create an alter ego that helps people win. Todd has built alter egos for professional athletes in all sports around the world.
  • The constant self-bullying we do to ourselves
  • Why humans are conditioned to notice the negative
  • How this primitive negativity has shifted to social dynamics in the modern world
  • The superpower of your inner personal narrative
  • Your negative self-talk is not you and is a sign to break through
  • How he changed his identity to become a more romantic, affectionate, and vulnerable husband
  • How humans can shapeshift
  • Why there is no you
  • How humans create our world and ourselves through language
  • Is there another version of you inside? How do you find it?
  • Why everyone should be taking lessons from nature. If you’re not growing, you’re dying.
  • The folly of pursuing balance and why we must pursue integration instead
  • Why as soon as Todd’s kids turn two, he has them become part of his business and speak on stage
  • What could be possible for you if you stopped acting in the “youness” that is you
  • Role-playing different versions of yourself
  • Leveraging moments of impact
  • What he learned from Stan Lee about the power of enthusiasm
  • How to infuse your home with a different energy and change the trajectory of time you spend with your family
  • Creating windows of possibility
  • The destructiveness of the old “tough day at work” mentality
  • How 80% of the one-on-one time with your child is gone by the time they are twelve
  • 3 questions to ask your kid at night to finish the day strong
  • The chasm of despair that opens when you look at how far you need to go instead of on how far you’ve come
  • Affirming your kids’ effort to cultivate a growth mindset
  • How to activate the alter ego you want to use with a totem
  • Breaking the chain of what people expect from you
  • How to create a dad-self that is masculine yet soft and caring


MENTIONED EPISODE:

3 Questions to Ask Your Kid Every Night


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Todd Herman’s Links

toddherman.me

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Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

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Links


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Resist Average with Tommy Baker

Resist Average with Tommy Baker

Most men are motivated by the same thing, and it’s the wrong thing—fear.

We run away from the life we don’t want, struggling to avoid discomfort and scarcity. We are under constant stress and have nothing left for ourselves. But fear is a bad motivator. We can only run so far and so fast before we become depleted and burned out.

Today I have an amazing guest who is no stranger to the spotlight. Tommy Baker is the host of Resist Average Podcast and helps dreamers create the lives they truly desire. He is the author of three bestselling books, and his most recent release, The Leap of Your Life, is about how we can resist average and make bold decisions toward the dreams that scare us.

Tommy talks about the myth of clarity, leveraging regret, and taking action despite never feeling ready. If you’re in survival mode or in a comfortable but boring rut, this show will change your trajectory!

Tommy Baker

Tommy grew up in two different cultures. His family moved back and forth between Columbia and US. Tommy had a life of solitude because he didn’t know where he fit in. This was a challenge that forced him to ask himself deep questions. Who am I? Why am I here? What am I capable of?

This led him on a path of entrepreneurship and self-discovery that helped him realize what prevented himself and others from living to their full potential. Today, Tommy Baker helps men make decisions into the unknown with faith trust and resilience and find ways to reverse engineer their success from the inside out.

Through his writing, high-performance coaching and Resist Average Academy podcast—he’s helped thousands of people take their next bold step and never look back.

Entrepreneurship is one the best ways to create personal growth in life.

What You’ll Learn

  • How all change is going to come from two places—a place of honesty about who you are and your pain and struggles, or by becoming inspired by something out in the future on the horizon that you are excited about
  • The three states of existence:
    • A state of survival- where you just make it through the day and make decisions out of scarcity and competition.
    • A state of comfort-where there is no urgency, but there’s nothing exciting or challenging in your life and you drift aimlessly.
    • A state of thriving—where you seek challenge every day and are willing to get to know yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually. You can tackle bigger and better problems and grow every day.
  • The importance of getting non-emotional data on our lives about what’s not working
  • Why comfort is the hardest state to change from
  • A powerful visualization exercise—5 years down the line, where will you be if you stay on the same path that isn’t working for you?
  • How to set your goals so that you will achieve them
  • Why you must go to environments that light you up in some form
  • Cutting negative stuff out of your space—relationships, environments, gossip, bad habits, and bad mindsets
  • How to break free from the “I’m not ready yet” syndrome
  • How to recognize fear in all its forms
  • By the time you feel ready, it’s too late
  • How in a distracted, over-stimulated world, we chase the wrong things for the wrong reasons
  • Regret can be a tool to leverage or a tool used to imprison yourself
  • Why ruminating leads to anxiety, depression, and despair
  • Dialing up your intuition
  • Why you may not be lacking clarity but courage
  • How lack of clarity can become an excuse to procrastinate
  • How to have the courage to step forward even if you lack a clear vision
  • Powerful exercise—how to take inventory of your foundation in life
  • That it’s okay to say, “I don’t know,” and give yourself space to figure it out

When we say we’re not ready, it becomes a convenient mechanism to let ourselves off the hook.


MENTIONED EPISODE: Stop Drifting and Consciously Design Your Future with Dominick Quartuccio


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Podcast

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