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Personal Evolution Through Trauma with Stefanos Sifandos


How far have you evolved as a person? Are you still struggling with the same issues you’ve had all your life? Are you turning to vices to distract and soothe you? Do you avoid those hard conversations with people who are important to you?

Your relationship with yourself is the foundation of all other aspects of your life, and if you haven’t confronted your demons, you will never be able to take your personal evolution to the next level.

Stefanos Sifandos is a relational alchemist, international speaker, author and change-maker dedicated to helping men create a life of meaning and purpose.

Not long ago, he was egotistical, dishonest, unfaithful, and above all, scared. He discovered that unresolved trauma from his toxic father was unconsciously and destructively influencing his behavior.

Today, Stefanos shares his journey into the depth of pain, and how we can drill to the truth of ourselves to become completely integrated and self-reliant.

He also reveals 6 steps that we can take to process, heal, and expand from the wounds of the past.

“Unconsciously, I used my childhood—my trauma, my wounding—as an excuse to be an asshole.”—Stefanos Sifandos

Stefanos Sifandos

Stefanos is a trained educator and relationships expert with a background in behavioral science. He is passionate about leading people closer to their highest potential and each other.

Stefanos’ philosophy merges the best of eastern and western methodologies to promote spiritual balance and empower people in life and love. From trauma release to navigating the murky waters of modern masculinity, to helping women understand the men in their lives, he helps people escape negative patterns and cultivate a positive sense of self.

Stefanos has worked with thousands of men and women from all walks of life; special forces soldiers, Olympic gold medalists, elite fighters, and everyday people have relied on him to restructure and reframe their relationships with themselves and their loved ones.

What You’ll Learn

  • Stefanos had a tumultuous childhood with a physically and emotionally abusive father.
  • He witnessed his dad and mom have a volatile relationship.
  • His life growing up was full of uncertainty, judgement, control, and pressure.
  • Many of us suppress our childhood memories.
  • Hate, anger, and fear are constrictive. Feeling is freeing, and freedom allows us to expand.
  • How Stefanos grieved his childhood, learned to accept his father, and let go of who he expected him to be.
  • Taking responsibility for dealing with your trauma.
  • Stefanos was hyper-aggressive, arrogant, and egotistical.
  • His business fluctuated and he had volatile relationships.
  • How he became aware of his unhealthy patterns
  • How men can stay on the path of ignorance or become aware and choose a new path
  • How Stefanos used physical challenges to begin growing his self-worth
  • 4 years ago, Stefanos was cleaning toilets and sweeping floors because he didn’t want the commitment of a business.
  • How we use the dopamine from vices to suppress emotions.
  • Other tools men use to cope—avoidance, projecting, codependency, and blame
  • Stefanos says that he had to go through multiple ego deaths to get to where he is.
  • Why “the masculine wants to be empty”
  • The one thing a woman needs most from a man is trustworthiness.
  • We can’t be trustworthy if we don’t do what we say.
  • Why you must have guides and support when you decide to go within.
  • You won’t solve your issues with the same perspective as you developed them.
  • Feeling is your way through the pain.
  • The 6 Step Cyclical Process of Healing
    • Depth-feeling – getting inside your emotions
    • Grounding – pull yourself out, immerse yourself in nature
    • Release – journal, empty your head
    • Reprieve – self-care, healthy pleasure
    • Introspection – stillness and silence
    • Social – reconnecting with friends and loved ones and being seen, respected, and appreciated
  • Why you should talk face to face with your woman.
  • Our issues with other people have little to do with them. We must deepen the connection to ourselves.
  • Confidence is a gate to self-worth.
  • How to improve your confidence level
  • Care less about what people think and more about being true to yourself.

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Why Nice Guys Don’t Get Their Needs Met

No More Mr. Nice Guy with Dr. Robert Glover

 


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Stefanos Sifandos’s Links

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your best self

Your Best Self: Initiate the Transformation


Your best self exists somewhere in the future. How can you initiate the transformation and bridge the gap between who you are now and the man you are capable of becoming?

Today, we have everyday dad Ben Killoy on The Dad Edge. He is a long-time Dad Edge Alliance member and is now one of our call team leaders. Ben is a military veteran turned blogger and motivational speaker. He’s founded the Military Veteran Dad Podcast, and his mission is to bring every dad both physically and mentally back home to his family.

Ben talks about how he broke free from the fear and resistance that was preventing him from living to his full potential. He explains how he cultivated the self-awareness and self-love to become strong enough to lead himself and his family. He also shares how he’s grateful to be in a place to help other men to access the truth beneath their fears and initiate the transformation to their best selves.

If you want a result in your life you never had, you need to do something you never done.

The amount of people you’re talking to is directly correlated to the amount of opportunity you feel in your life. You can’t create new opportunity unless you’re talking to people.—Ben Killoy

What You’ll Learn

  • The moment Ben realized that no one is going to care when he is no longer around.
  • The power of connecting with others for opportunity.
  • Social media cannot replace human connection.
  • Men have a tendency to numb their feelings, keeping them stuck. Once you have access to the feelings, the dam breaks and you can move forward.
  • You never know the power of the words you say. You can move mountains.
  • What Ben learned about the meaning of masculinity
  • If you don’t love your past, your current situation, or the future you’re headed to, you can’t bring love into other people’s lives without some expectation of them meeting your needs.
  • When your outside doesn’t match your inside.
  • How to debunk and neutralize old stories you have about yourself.
  • How to grow “deep roots” to get you through any storm
  • You have everything inside already. You just have to believe it is there.
  • Look forward to meeting the new version of yourself.
  • Success doesn’t happen when conditions are perfect.
  • Advice for men who want to grow but are afraid to leave a comfortable (yet unfulfilling) life
  • Pick something you’ve always wanted to do, start it, and suck at it.
  • Fear holds you back, but love conquers fear.
  • Why you can’t be strong for your spouse if you don’t love yourself.
  • How to open up new possibilities for yourself through intentional challenge
  • How to have real conversations that lift you up
  • If you don’t have a tribe, you will always feel like something is missing.
  • Why you should learn how to talk to strangers
  • Using the coronavirus pandemic as a time to reflect and grow

MENTIONED EPISODES:

The Challenges of Being a Military Veteran Dad

The Secrets to Achieving Wildly Important Goals with Mark Divine

TRANSFORMED: A Navy SEAL’s Unlikely Journey to Defying All Odds with Remi Adeleke


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THRIVE IN THE FACE OF UNCERTAINTY

Register for the Dad Edge Virtual Summit

Dad Edge Virtual Summit 2020

IT’S TIME TO REINVENT HOW WE SHOW UP FOR OUR FAMILIES

Coronavirus is forcing our evolution as fathers.  We are all going to build a whole new set of superpowers.  And these superpowers are needed right now.  For many of us, we are multiplying our future ability to serve, exponentially.

YOU WILL NOT WANT TO MISS THIS.

Guest Speakers

Dr. Meg Meeker
New York Times Bestselling Author of “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters” and “HERO”
Anthony Trucks
Former NFL Football Player and American Ninja Warrior
Aaron Walker
Founder of View From the Top and bestselling author of “View from the Top” and coming soon “Isolation is the Enemy of Excellence.”
Dominic Quartuccio
Bestselling author of “Design Your Future.”

CHOOSE YOUR PACKAGE


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traver boehm

Man Uncivilized with Traver Boehm

The fallout from coronavirus has put unbelievable stress on all of us, but what if the situation was worse?  Would we have the mental stamina to endure?

You may remember today’s guest for sharing his incredible story of going on a darkness retreat in the jungles of Guatemala, where he stayed in a 12 x 8 concrete room for 28 days in absolute black silence.

Traver Boehm is the author of Today I Rise and the founder of the Man Uncivilized Movement. He is back to tell us how he tapped into his inner strength to endure the unimaginable. He also talks about embracing our primal masculine gifts to squeeze the juice out of life, even while we’re up against a crisis like COVID-19.

Traver teaches us how to make the best of our situation, draw on our inner strengths, and connect with people in ways we never have before. He inspires us to look deep inside and view our lives in an empowered light.

This episode will have you pumped up. Let’s get uncivilized!

“We don’t get that much time here. Why don’t we squeeze the juice out of life?”—Traver Boehm

 

What You’ll Learn

  • The power of going one day without judging yourself
  • The mindset that will allow you to play life bigger and take more risks
  • How to channel aggressive energy
  • Honoring the primal masculinity of man
  • Owning your space and bringing your gifts into the world
  • How to feed your soul
  • Why you must be dangerous, but not a danger
  • Why your wife not be wanting to get intimate with you
  • What happens to repressed feelings
  • The difference between sharing your thoughts and feelings
  • The power of having access to your emotions

RELATED EPISODES:

The Masculine, the Man, and the Mountain with Traver Boehm

Stop Doing That Sh*t with Gary John Bishop


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Traver Boehm

manuncivilized.com

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IT’S TIME TO RE-INVENT HOW WE SHOW UP AS MEN

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Dad Edge Virtual Summit 2020

 


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alter ego todd herman

How to Create and Activate Your Heroic Alter Ego with Todd Herman – Exclusive Dad Edge Alliance Q&A


Todd Herman is the author of the wildly popular bestselling book, The Alter Ego Effect, in which he explains the fastest way to transcend fear and self-limiting beliefs by creating alter egos.

In an exclusive Q&A session with Dad Edge Alliance members, Todd reveals how to develop alter egos for the different playing fields of life, and how to activate our secret identities to instantly show up the way we want in the toughest situations. He also talks about how to introduce this method to our kids.

Todd Herman’s tools and strategies will blow your mind and change your life. Get ready to step into your heroic self!

Todd Herman and The Alter Ego Effect

What if the games you played as a child were the greatest gift to helping you achieve more today?

Before stage fright, impostor syndrome, emotional baggage, and the other dubious gifts of adulthood, everyone pretended to be a superhero, a favorite athlete, an inspiring entertainer, a nurse, a firefighter, a lion or whatever captured their imagination. And yet, that natural creativity is slowly squeezed out of us because we think it’s childish or it’s ‘time to grow up.’ Now, Todd Herman—backed by scientific research and countless stories from the real world—will show you how to tap into the human imagination to unleash a new version of yourself, ready-made to kick-ass.

Herman has been coaching champions in every field for over twenty years, and he’s helped them bring out their Heroic Self to transcend the forces pulling them into the Ordinary World. While anyone attempting ambitious things faces adversity, resistance and challenges, Herman, asks a new question: “Who or what needs to show up to make success inevitable?”

In The Alter Ego Effect, Herman shows you how to activate the Heroic Self already nested inside of each of us, through countless stories from salespeople, executives, entertainers, athletes, entrepreneurs, creatives and historical figures. He reveals that you may not be using those traits in the moments when you need them the most. From the creative entrepreneur who resisted their craft, to the accomplished military officer who wanted to be a warmer dad at home, Todd Herman’s clients have discovered there is no end to the parts of their lives they could improve by using Alter-Egos.

What You’ll Learn

  • The surprising secret to those who perform consistently at top levels—maintaining a level of playfulness.
  • The identities that can limit you
  • How to turn off your work mode or ambition mode when you get home for your kids and spouse
  • Changing the identity is the fastest way to shift performance.
  • Todd Herman’s Dad Alter Ego is based on a combination of Mr. Rogers and his own dad
  • How to use alter egos as a form of honor, not being fake
  • The most powerful way to trigger an identity change are things that we wear
  • Choosing totems, artifacts, and uniforms
  • The mistakes we make as parents when it comes to talking to our kids about their performance
  • The two most important things we can do for our children to encourage the right mindset
  • Why you must allow kids to choose their own alter egos
  • How to choose your behavior according to a future version of yourself
  • Why you should not protect your kids from feeling uncomfortable things. They must learn how to experience and process negative emotions.
  • Making sure that when we’re framing something for our kids, we’re not introducing a problem for them that wasn’t even in their world
  • 80% of our 1-on-1 time with kids ends at the age of twelve, so we must take advantage of spending time with them in their younger years.
  • Number one reason why kids don’t quit activity because they don’t want to lose the one on one car time with their parent
  • The difference between habits and rituals and why rituals are important for success


MENTIONED EPISODES:

The Alter Ego Effect with Todd Herman

3 Questions to Ask Your Kid Every Night


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Todd Herman

toddherman.me

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Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

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Inadequacy, Insecurity, and Imposter Syndrome

Inadequacy, Insecurity, and Imposter Syndrome with Mike Kitko


Do you feel the need to be perfect, and at the same time, think you’ll never be good enough? As a man, husband, and father, are you plagued by deep-rooted feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, leaving you terrified that people will find out you have no idea what you’re doing? That’s your imposter in charge and he’s preventing you from living as who you really are.

Mike Kitko is an Executive Self-Mastery Coach, speaker, and author. After a colossal career and personal meltdown, he found his true purpose—inspiring leaders to find the power in their authenticity, purpose, and passion.

Today, Mike Kitko talks about how inadequacy, insecurity, and imposter syndrome ruled his life. He teaches us how to cultivate self-awareness and diffuse the imposter before it sabotages us. He also tells us how to stop running from fear and start chasing our purpose so we can provide a loving, safe, and prosperous environment for our families.

Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? How do you defeat the imposter in charge? Find out in this episode!

Mike Kitko

A Marine with an MBA, Mike has decades of experience in leadership roles for Fortune 500 companies, yet he always felt like an imposter. His outward persona was one of strength and wealth, yet he struggled internally with self-confidence and self-fulfillment. His inability to understand his emotions led him to alcoholism, uncontrolled anger, and ballistic rage. He abused his marriage, family, professional career, and health.

Through coaching, intense study, and deep work, Mike learned to embrace self-doubt and care for his body, mind, emotions, and soul with self-mastery. Now Mikes overflowing energy, clarity, and love inspires souls. With an infectious zest for life, internal power, and inward confidence that matches how people perceive him externally, Mike has turned his life around. And he wants to help you to do the same.

If you can’t feel it, you can’t heal it, and if you can’t heal it, you can’t be you.—Mike Kitko

The Imposter in Charge

Life’s good, right? You’ve got the high-paying job, the car, the home, the family–so why do you feel so incomplete?

Maybe your ego is bursting at the seams and you can’t show yourself for who you really are. Perhaps you have no boundaries and you pour yourself into others–their problems, their pressures, their pleasures–at the expense of yourself and your own family. You might think you need to be perfect but are acutely aware that you’re not good enough. Could it be that deep-down you feel inadequate, incapable, and like a fraud?

You don’t have to live like that. The Imposter in Charge is the vulnerable and raw account of Mike Kitko’s journey from being an overweight, overstressed, overachieving alcoholic business executive who was on the brink of divorce, to a life of authenticity, courage, confidence, and clarity. This transparent account offers a then-to-now experience, as well as practical applications and practices to help you break out of the imposter syndrome yourself–once and for all.

What You’ll Learn

  • Men learn from a very young age to not be real, vulnerable, and or have emotions.
  • When we wear a mask and shrink, we can’t really feel human.
  • What it means when everything you thought would bring you happiness doesn’t.
  • How the world loves you exactly the way you are. When you realize that, things start to change
  • Mike used to be over 300 pounds and an alcoholic.
  • When Mike figured out that he had nothing figured out
  • When Mike quit drinking, he lost who he thought were friends, but then real people showed up.
  • How Mike made the bold move to leave his corporate job and create his coaching business.
  • How he fell head over heels in love with his wife again after their marriage was nearly destroyed.
  • Perfection is impossible
  • Emotions are going to make us behave badly.
  • Accept that on the journey of improvement, you’re going to stumble,
  • Why you must surrender to the natural feeling of inadequacy and insecurity.
  • What is a critical purpose decision?
  • 90% of people are running away from fear. 10% are chasing purpose.
  • We’re not here to survive, play small, provide and buy more stuff.
  • You don’t have to sacrifice yourself to have a lucrative business.
  • Your desires are your gateway to understanding what purpose you serve.
  • How men can find their true purpose and make sure they’re not chasing someone else’s purpose.
  • Lack of self-awareness drives the imposter syndrome.
  • The importance of knowing your talents and weaknesses.
  • Getting and staying in your “zone of genius” as much as possible
  • Clarity is a creative force.
  • His mission is to move men from survivorship to leadership
    • Yourself
    • Society
    • Family
  • We can’t provide a safe prosperous loving environment for our families if we are not living authentically.
  • Love = Letting Others Voluntarily Evolve
  • How we’re inadvertently telling our kids their choices aren’t good enough.
  • We’re not here to help our kids avoid mistakes, but to help them make choices after they understand the consequences.

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Mike Kitko’s Links

mikekitko.com

Facebook

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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

LINKS


Hungry for more out of life?

Become one of the 350 men of The Dad Edge Alliance

APPLY HERE!


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

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