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how to live in the present

Do a Day: How to Live in the Present with Bryan Falchuk


Today’s show is all about how to live in the present. We always hear people talking about it, but how exactly is it done?

Most of us hold onto shame, guilt, and feelings of unworthiness from yesterday. At the same time, we feel constant anxiety when we think about what tomorrow might bring. This ruins any chance of making today a great day and keeps us in a state of fear that negatively effects our relationships at home and at work.

Bryan Falchuk is a life coach, TEDx speaker, and the bestselling author of Do a Day: How to Live a Better Life Every Day. He’s going to give us a formula to help us live in the present moment by confronting our past and removing anxiety about the future. Today is a new day. Go out and do it!

If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you’re pissing on the present.

 

Bryan Falchuk

Bryan is a best-selling author, speaker and life coach. He has faced major adversities and learned how to overcome and achieve. From obesity to running marathons, from career struggles to success as a CXO, from watching illness threaten his family to finding lasting health, he has been through many lessons he used to develop his unique approach to inspiring others succeed.

Bryan’s work has been featured in several top publications like Inc. Magazine, The LA Times, Chicago Tribune and more. He has spoken at multiple TEDx events, and has been a featured guest on over 100 podcasts and radio shows.

While Bryan lives in the US, he has worked and lived in numerous countries and cultures across the world, giving him a truly global perspective.

If you don’t deal with that weight that’s on you, it will deal with you.—Bryan Falchuk

What You’ll Learn

  • What happened to Bryan, the youngest of four kids, when his parents divorced
  • How he used food as a comfort mechanism when he was a child, leading to obesity
  • His love of mayonnaise sandwiches
  • How Bryan had the biggest boobs in school
  • His constant fear of putting weight back on
  • How he’s moved past the fat kid that lived inside of him
  • Now, Bryan exercises because he enjoys it, not because he’s afraid of being fat
  • How most of us carry someone else’s load on top of our own. We bury what we’re dealing with because we’re handling stuff for others.
  • The crucial importance of confronting your past
  • How Bryan failed his wife during the illness that nearly caused her death because he was too reactive
  • The defining moment when Bryan realized he was responsible to raise his son … and he was failing
  • How Bryan justified his anxiety by telling himself that his over-worrying was responsible for getting him this far
  • In reality, Bryan had no self-worth for many years
  • How living in yesterday ruined Bryan’s job
  • If you expect confrontation, you will get it.
  • Your fear makes you throw away the capability you have today.
  • The more you evolve and explore, the more opportunities you will have.
  • What’s most important for Bryan to do every day for his wife and kid
  • How to share your issues without taking the joy from others
  • How to take others’ issues without reacting
  • How Buddhism influenced him
  • The 4 Components of How to Live in the Present:
    • Self-love – the solid ground. Without self-love you will self-sabotage because you believe you’re not worth it
    • True motivation – will keep you moving no matter what. Deep within you, they are the things that choke you up. What will you always care about?
    • Look at your life – Where do you want it to be? What is serving you, what is not? Deal with your issues, past and future.
    • Make a plan for today – How are you going to react? What will you do to change the thoughts and habits that are not serving you?
  • The ongoing process of Do a Day

 

Visit
bryanfalchuk.com/dadedge
for a discount signed version of his book
and other special offers!

 


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Bryan Falchuk’s Links

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alter ego effect todd herman

The Alter Ego Effect with Todd Herman

There is only one person keeping you from reaching your full potential, and that is you. Today we’re going to reveal an extraordinary way to bypass fear, doubt, and limiting beliefs by creating heroic alter egos.

Todd Herman is a high-performance coach and the author of The Alter Ego Effect: The Power of Secret Identities to Transform Your Life. He is going to teach us why alter egos work, how to create them for different aspects of our lives, and how to activate them to help us become effective businessmen, intentional husbands, and patient and present fathers.

Todd Herman’s tools, insights, and philosophy will blow your mind. Prepare to discover the power of your secret identity!

'When you change someone at the identity level, all the habits, behavior, and beliefs change along with it.'— @Todd_Herman #performance #limitingbeliefs #alterego Click To Tweet

Todd Herman

Todd Herman is an author, performance advisor, and entrepreneur. For 22 years, his training company, Herman Performance Systems, has focused on helping achievers and ambitious people in sport & business, achieve wildly outrageous goals while enjoying the process. Originally from Alberta, Canada where he grew up on a large farm and ranch, where he developed a healthy dislike of chicken coops.

His company has a suite of programs serving Olympic athletes, Entrepreneurs, and Leaders. He’s been featured on the Today Show, Sky Business News, Inc Magazine and CBC National News.

He lives in New York City with his wife and three young children and is currently the worlds worst ukulele player.

'Mental toughness is ability to be adaptable and flexible despite what your circumstances are giving you right now.'— @Todd_Herman #mentaltoughness #resilience #motivation Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • How Todd got started with the alter ego idea
  • Todd’s beginnings as a high-performance coach
  • His time as a nationally ranked badminton player
  • Why kids should learn to play both a team sport and an individual sport
  • What he learned from coaching Olympians
  • The gold thread that connected all the highest performers
  • How he developed a process and system to create an alter ego that helps people win. Todd has built alter egos for professional athletes in all sports around the world.
  • The constant self-bullying we do to ourselves
  • Why humans are conditioned to notice the negative
  • How this primitive negativity has shifted to social dynamics in the modern world
  • The superpower of your inner personal narrative
  • Your negative self-talk is not you and is a sign to break through
  • How he changed his identity to become a more romantic, affectionate, and vulnerable husband
  • How humans can shapeshift
  • Why there is no you
  • How humans create our world and ourselves through language
  • Is there another version of you inside? How do you find it?
  • Why everyone should be taking lessons from nature. If you’re not growing, you’re dying.
  • The folly of pursuing balance and why we must pursue integration instead
  • Why as soon as Todd’s kids turn two, he has them become part of his business and speak on stage
  • What could be possible for you if you stopped acting in the “youness” that is you
  • Role-playing different versions of yourself
  • Leveraging moments of impact
  • What he learned from Stan Lee about the power of enthusiasm
  • How to infuse your home with a different energy and change the trajectory of time you spend with your family
  • Creating windows of possibility
  • The destructiveness of the old “tough day at work” mentality
  • How 80% of the one-on-one time with your child is gone by the time they are twelve
  • 3 questions to ask your kid at night to finish the day strong
  • The chasm of despair that opens when you look at how far you need to go instead of on how far you’ve come
  • Affirming your kids’ effort to cultivate a growth mindset
  • How to activate the alter ego you want to use with a totem
  • Breaking the chain of what people expect from you
  • How to create a dad-self that is masculine yet soft and caring

MENTIONED EPISODE:

3 Questions to Ask Your Kid Every Night


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Todd Herman’s Links

toddherman.me

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Resources

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==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


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Resist Average with Tommy Baker

Resist Average with Tommy Baker

Most men are motivated by the same thing, and it’s the wrong thing—fear.

We run away from the life we don’t want, struggling to avoid discomfort and scarcity. We are under constant stress and have nothing left for ourselves. But fear is a bad motivator. We can only run so far and so fast before we become depleted and burned out.

Today I have an amazing guest who is no stranger to the spotlight. Tommy Baker is the host of Resist Average Podcast and helps dreamers create the lives they truly desire. He is the author of three bestselling books, and his most recent release, The Leap of Your Life, is about how we can resist average and make bold decisions toward the dreams that scare us.

Tommy talks about the myth of clarity, leveraging regret, and taking action despite never feeling ready. If you’re in survival mode or in a comfortable but boring rut, this show will change your trajectory!

Tommy Baker

Tommy grew up in two different cultures. His family moved back and forth between Columbia and US. Tommy had a life of solitude because he didn’t know where he fit in. This was a challenge that forced him to ask himself deep questions. Who am I? Why am I here? What am I capable of?

This led him on a path of entrepreneurship and self-discovery that helped him realize what prevented himself and others from living to their full potential. Today, Tommy Baker helps men make decisions into the unknown with faith trust and resilience and find ways to reverse engineer their success from the inside out.

Through his writing, high-performance coaching and Resist Average Academy podcast—he’s helped thousands of people take their next bold step and never look back.

Entrepreneurship is one the best ways to create personal growth in life.

What You’ll Learn

  • How all change is going to come from two places—a place of honesty about who you are and your pain and struggles, or by becoming inspired by something out in the future on the horizon that you are excited about
  • The three states of existence:
    • A state of survival- where you just make it through the day and make decisions out of scarcity and competition.
    • A state of comfort-where there is no urgency, but there’s nothing exciting or challenging in your life and you drift aimlessly.
    • A state of thriving—where you seek challenge every day and are willing to get to know yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually. You can tackle bigger and better problems and grow every day.
  • The importance of getting non-emotional data on our lives about what’s not working
  • Why comfort is the hardest state to change from
  • A powerful visualization exercise—5 years down the line, where will you be if you stay on the same path that isn’t working for you?
  • How to set your goals so that you will achieve them
  • Why you must go to environments that light you up in some form
  • Cutting negative stuff out of your space—relationships, environments, gossip, bad habits, and bad mindsets
  • How to break free from the “I’m not ready yet” syndrome
  • How to recognize fear in all its forms
  • By the time you feel ready, it’s too late
  • How in a distracted, over-stimulated world, we chase the wrong things for the wrong reasons
  • Regret can be a tool to leverage or a tool used to imprison yourself
  • Why ruminating leads to anxiety, depression, and despair
  • Dialing up your intuition
  • Why you may not be lacking clarity but courage
  • How lack of clarity can become an excuse to procrastinate
  • How to have the courage to step forward even if you lack a clear vision
  • Powerful exercise—how to take inventory of your foundation in life
  • That it’s okay to say, “I don’t know,” and give yourself space to figure it out

When we say we’re not ready, it becomes a convenient mechanism to let ourselves off the hook.

MENTIONED EPISODE: Stop Drifting and Consciously Design Your Future with Dominick Quartuccio


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Tommy Baker’s Links

Website

Podcast

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save marriage Larry Bilotta

The Matrix of Marriage with Larry Bilotta


So many men are married and miserable. The worst part about this is we accept it. We think that’s the way marriage is supposed to be. We can blame it on our spouse. We might say its because of our work, the kids, or the society we live in, but rarely do we look at ourselves.

Whether your marriage is in a rut, a rough patch, or a full-blown crisis, today’s episode will change everything you thought you knew about being married.

Marriage Coach Larry Bilotta is our guest. He is going to shift your perspectives about the core problems between husbands and wives using the movie The Matrix as an analogy. You will be shown the hidden dynamics of relationships and how you alone can save your marriage by changing your programming.

Will you take the blue pill or the red pill?

'The reason I couldn’t run away was because I was programmed to be married and miserable.' – @LarryBilotta #men #husbands #marriage #manhood #thematrix Click To Tweet

'The greater the chaos, the shorter the marriage.' – @LarryBilotta #marriage #relationships #childhood #wifes #husbands #divorce Click To Tweet

Larry Bilotta

Larry Bilotta endured 27 years of hell in a marriage. In the 28th year, he fell in love with his wife. Now they’ve been married for over 43 years and are more solid than ever.

Why did he stay in an unhappy marriage for so long? What changed after 27 years for him to finally fall in love with his wife?

Larry constantly looked for answers on how to fix his unhappy existence. He was hungry to learn why he and his wife could not get it right. Finally, everything came together for him. He realized the source of the pain was not the relationship. It was much deeper than that.

What You’ll Learn

  • The real reason we stay married and miserable
  • Why men are in the dark and baffled as to what is wrong with their relationships
  • Why conventional techniques to fix relationships don’t work on some couples
  • Why marriages become troubled because of childhood pain
  • Why knowing what happened to you is more important than what happened to your relationship
  • What is “program possession”
  • How our programs possess us and make us do things we regret
  • How to tell who will leave the marriage first
  • How the personal pursuit of happiness has destroyed family
  • How men lose their wives’ hearts
  • How to get rid of your programs
  • Why your bad marriage has nothing to do with your wife
  • How to start saving your marriage by changing your energy
  • What intimacy really means
  • Why we do not have to get our wives involved with saving the marriage
  • How to become a “changer” instead of “reactor”
  • Why you must slow down time when you’re being attacked
'You’re wife is a reactor. If you bring gratitude, she’ll react to it. Likewise if it’s criticism and blame, she reacts to that.' – @LarryBilotta #marriage #relationships #divorce #saveyourmarriage #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment Click To Tweet

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Larry Bilotta’s Links

youcansavethismarriage.com

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join us in The Dad Edge Alliance

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Showing Leadership to Your Kids by Going First

Showing Leadership to Your Kids by Going First

Are you afraid to go first? We usually like to sit back and watch someone else go first, whether it’s being the first to raise our hand, the first to try something we’ve never done before, or the first to speak up and say what everyone else is afraid to say. But when we become dads, what happens if we continue to let others go first? What does that show our kids?

One of the lessons we want to teach our kids is leadership. We are the leaders of the family and it is our duty to go first, even if we fail. Today we have Kyle Ferris on the show. He’s one of our members from the Dad Edge Alliance and he attended our Dad Edge Summit last month. He shares his insights on how to be a leader to your kids by going first.

You are the star in your own movie and your kids are the audience. What role are you playing? Are you in a supporting role? The crew? Or the hero? #dads #men #fathers #parenting #leadership Click To Tweet

Are you afraid to go first? We usually like to sit back and watch someone else go first, but when we become dads, what does that show our kids? #dads #fathers #fatherhood #parenting #kids #leadership Click To Tweet

MENTIONED EPISODES:

How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood

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Connect with Kyle Ferris

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Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


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