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Breaking the Cycle of the Fixed Mindset with Larry Yatch

How to Break the Cycle of the Fixed Mindset with Larry Yatch

Today’s guest needs no introduction. Larry Yatch from the SEALed Mindset is back on the Good Dad Project podcast to answer a few questions from our Dad Edge community about how to break the cycle of the fixed mindset in our kids and in ourselves.

Larry Yatch and the SEALed Mindset

For those of you who haven’t listened to Larry Yatch’s episodes, he is a former Navy SEAL who has used his elite training and past experiences to formulate a system to teach the fundamentals of leadership, teamwork, courage, and the growth mindset to school kids, civilians (like the SEALed Mindset GDP Special Membership), all the way up to executives and corporations.

How to Break the Cycle of the Fixed Mindset

The fixed mindset is the belief that intelligence, skill, and talent is given to us as traits, like the color of our eyes. We believe either we are good at something or we are not, which leads to a tendency to avoid trying difficult things. Many of us are stuck in the cycle of the fixed mindset and are unwittingly instilling it in our kids by praising them the wrong way.

Johnny’s really good at baseball.

The growth mindset is the belief that skills are developed and that the more work we put in, the better we will become at something. In the growth mindset, challenges are welcome. We embrace difficulty knowing that each experience forces us to get better. We instill this mindset by praising effort.

Johnny works really hard at baseball.

What to expect from adopting the growth mindset

“I love the concept of growth mindset, and both my wife and I are working hard to instill this in our parenting. A challenge that I face is being realistic with my own expectations. How can I invite and live a life with a growth mindset and positive attitude without immersing myself to the point where it has a negative effect?” – Jeff

If we see a negative effect and feel defeated, that means we’re still operating in the fixed mindset. Simply put, even when we’re trying to implement a growth mindset, most of us don’t know that we’re still reinforcing the fixed mindset. In the growth mindset, defeat and difficulty are positive things. There can not be a negative effect.

How do we know when we’re pushing to far?

I have a question about pushing my kids to face their fears and overcome obstacles. When do you ignore their cries and push them ahead, and what is too far?” – Andy

The problem we have with instilling the growth mindset at an early age is that we understand it at an adult level and try to implement it in a logical way. But, as all dads know, logic and reasoning don’t work with three-year-olds. These processes have to do with self-regulation, and this part of a child’s brain doesn’t exists yet. It’s our job as parents to be this part of the brain for them.

In the meantime, we can use operant conditioning to modify behaviors. This means offering positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement for particular behaviors. We have to be careful though. Our children can use the same techniques to get what they want and may actually be conditioning us.

What can we men do when faced with something beyond our control?

I took this opportunity to ask Larry Yatch my own question. Regular listeners know that I went through a debilitating 33 days of insomnia. I was at a point in my life where my business, mastermind group, and podcast were never better. I was in the best physical shape of my life and my family was thriving. Then it all was in danger of collapsing when I couldn’t sleep. I asked Larry what could I have done differently.

Larry Yatch first told me I should’ve asked for help earlier. We men tend to try to handle things ourselves. We’re supposed to have all the answers, but we don’t. This is when we need to ask others for their help an advice. Asking for help does show weakness. It is empowering, and the person whom you allow to help you will feel better about themselves. Asking someone to help you is a gift.

Become a member of the SEALed Mindset

Now is your last chance to sign up for the SEALed Mindset Leaders at the unbelievable rate of $25 a month (normal price $250 a month!). This discount is extended for only 90 days. DISCOVER HOW THE NAVY SEALS:

  • OPTIMIZE PERFORMANCE DESPITE CHALLENGES
  • LEVERAGE MENTAL TOUGHNESS, EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE, AND GRIT TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS
  • BUILD UNBREAKABLE RELATIONSHIPS THAT LEAD TO FULFILLMENT
  • MASTER PERSEVERANCE TO ACHIEVE GREATNESS IN THE FACE OF IMMENSE OBSTACLES

Get started with the FREE new webinar. Click here> SMLdad.com


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


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taking risks for a life of fulfillment

Taking Risks for a Life of Fulfillment

In our last episode, we talked with Sam Weinman about how to win at losing, how to succeed when we fail, and how to learn from defeat. I want to recap on this because the fear of losing is one of the most popular topics discussed in our Dad’s Edge Private Facebook Group. A lot of guys are afraid of taking risks and doing something new. We’re afraid of failing. We hold back because we think we’re not good enough.

But, think about it.

What would life would be like if you took no risks?

What if you always knew what exactly what would happen?

Would you be afraid?

No. You would have certainty. You would know the outcome of every situation in life. Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?

No, really think about it.

Absolute certainty would be a curse. You would be bored without any challenges or surprises, and life would be unfulfilling.

So start today.

Do something that scares you a little.

In order to live life to the fullest, we must take risks, get our hands dirty, and fail.

 

Referenced Episode: How to Teach Our Kids to Win at Losing with Sam Weinman

 


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


SEALed Mindset Exclusive GDP Offer


Get access to the SEALed Mindset Membership Platform

Normal price: $150-$250 a month

DISCOUNT EXTENDED: $25 a month for GDP listeners (90% lifetime discount)

Extra bonus: For FREE new lesson click here> SMLdad.com


The #1 Reason Kids Quit Sports is Because of the Coach.

Learn How to Coach Baseball right with 7 days of FREE access for GDP listeners.

growth mindset in your kids Larry Yatch

How to Instill the Growth Mindset in Your Kids with Larry Yatch

Larry Yatch from the SEALed Mindset is back to share some mind-blowing insights on how to make our families work as high-functioning teams, how to instill the growth mindset in our kids, and how to persevere and show courage in the face of fear.

The SEALED MINDSET

The Navy SEALs are the most elite warriors on the planet. Larry Yatch and his partner, Eric Davis, worked together as SEALs and they now teach the SEALed Mindset proven performance principles. Larry is experienced with managing high-performing individuals and building high-functioning teams. He believes the most important team you’re on is your family.

What is a team?

SEALs couldn’t do anything without their team. It takes a whole group of people to help them accomplish their goals. When you’re in the SEALs it’s crucial that every team member does their part because your competition is trying to kill you. Imagine if one person slacks off for the day. The consequences could be deadly.

The same holds true in work and family. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are on several teams, in order to be a good team player we must first identify the teams we’re on.

A team must have:

  1. Common background of experience – Team members need to speak the same language so they can communicate.
  2. Common concerns and obligations – Team members must be worried about the same issues, or share issues that nest.
  3. The same future goal – All must want to achieve the desired end-state.

When a member of family doesn’t have one of these 3 things, the family becomes dysfunctional.

How to incorporate teams in family lives?

In a high-functioning team, everyone has to have the same definitions and expectations of the roles on the team. Just like in football and other sports, each player has a specific role. They know what they are supposed to and execute their job to the best of their ability. This allows the other team members to focus on their own duties.

The three functions of members in a family team or spousal unit are leading, managing, following. The leader calls the shots, the manager creates an environment in which the leader can successfully lead, and the followers execute the leader’s plan. This acceptance of team roles helps avoid family conflict and ensures goals are accomplished efficiently.

What is fixed versus growth mindset?

Our subconscious mind processes information exponentially faster than the conscious mind, and our mindset is the filter between conscious and subconscious. If we have a bad mindset, we’ll react to our environment with our ego and in a fearful way. If we have a good mindset, we will respond with confidence, perseverance, and responsibility.

A person with a fixed mindset believes their skills and intelligence are limited, and therefore fear failure and avoid challenges. A person with a growth mindset knows their skills and intelligence can grow as long as they work hard and don’t allow fear hold them back. They rise to challenges, learn from failure, and persevere until they succeed.

The fixed mindset doesn’t have to stay fixed.

The good news is that our mindset is not permanent. It is a habit of thinking and reacting, not a physiological trait. We can change the way we operate. However, if we’ve been using a fixed mindset since our childhood, it will take a long time and a great effort to change.

How can we instill a growth mindset in our kids?

Many of us have unknowingly brought our kids up with the same fixed mindset we were raised with. When kids are told they are good at a sport or smart at a subject, they expect to accomplish everything with ease. When they run into a challenging situation, they feel fear and shame. If the task wasn’t easy for them, they think they are a failure. Their ego can’t handle it. In the future, they will avoid challenges or quit soon after undertaking them to avoid failing again.

Children with a growth mindset are praised for their hard work and effort. Instead of believing they’re simply “good” at something and that there is nothing beyond that, they know that as long as they keep working hard, they can keep getting better. Instead of avoiding difficulties, challenges, and criticism, they turn them into opportunities to learn.

Amazingly, it only takes a changing a few words when you’re praising your children to begin to change the mindset. Stop telling them they are “good” or “smart” and start telling them what a great effort they put in and how courageous they were to try their best in the face of fear and failure.

Stop rewarding the result. Reward the hard work.

 

Referenced Episode: Secrets of the Navy SEAL Mindset: Courage, Confidence, Perseverance and Resilience

 

SEALed Mindset Exclusive GDP Offer


Get access to the SEALed Mindset Membership Platform

Normal price: $150-$250 a month

DISCOUNT EXTENDED: $25 a month for GDP listeners (90% lifetime discount)

Extra bonus: For FREE new lesson click here> SMLdad.com


 

Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Guest links

Sealed Mindset

Twitter

Facebook


The #1 Reason Kids Quit Sports is Because of the Coach

Secrets of the Navy SEALs mindset - courage, confidence perseverance and resilience

Secrets of the Navy SEAL Mindset: Courage, Confidence, Perseverance and Resilience

In this episode, I talk with retired Navy SEALs, Eric Davis and Larry Yatch, about how we normal dads can apply the Navy SEAL mindset to develop Courage, Confidence, Perseverance and Resilience.

The SEALED MINDSET

The Navy SEALs are the most elite warriors on the planet. Eric Davis and Larry Yatch worked together as SEALs and known each other over 16 years. They now teach the SEALed Mindset proven performance principles and will share some amazing tactics and formulas so we can become better men and open ourselves up to greater opportunity in life.

Eric Davis

Eric Davis served our country as a U.S. Navy SEAL and decorated veteran of the Global War on Terror. Eric has been recognized as one of the premier sniper instructors in the U.S. military and has served as a Master Training Specialist at the SEAL sniper school in Coronado, CA. Since departing from the SEAL teams, Eric has worked in corporate performance, sales and leadership training bringing an unprecedented amount of innovation, efficiency and structure to the domain of business and personal performance. Eric is the author of “Raising Men: Lessons Navy SEALs learned from their training and taught to their sons”.

Larry Yatch

Larry was determined to follow a path to the military elite ever since 3rd grade when he first saw Top Gun. He eventually spent 10 years as an officer in the Navy SEAL teams after graduating with an engineering degree from the United States Naval Academy. His service to our country ended when Larry was critically injured in the line of duty and medically retired from the Navy SEALs. Larry is experienced with managing high-performing individuals and building high-functioning teams. He believes the most important team you’re on is your family

Fear

Navy SEAls routinely execute missions in life or death scenarios. They don’t have the luxury of giving into fear. If they’re not successful, they are dead. Our modern life situations are not so critical, but managing fear and self-doubt can mean the life or death of your dreams for you and your family.

We men always question ourselves. In stressful or uncertain situations, we go to our default emotions and make decisions based on fear. If we can know how to build confidence and overcome fear, not only can we learn to become more and more confident and resilient, we can give our children the tools to do the same.

Courage

The common understanding of courage is to be fearless enough to do something crazy, like jump out of a plane. However, Larry Yatch explains that courage is not an absence of fear. Courage only exists in the face of fear. Most of us feel fear is a negative emotion, that being scared means we are weak, but we can think of fear as an opportunity to show courage and gain confidence. Fear is simply a cue to exercise an action.

Confidence

Confidence is developed when we repeatedly exercise courage to conquer fear. It’s not born, it builds like a muscle and gets stronger every time we believe we can do something we’ve never done before. Our confidence multiplies each time we learn, practice, and gain experience.

Perseverance

We can also teach ourselves perseverance. The more we learn how to regulate our mental, emotional, and physical reactions, the more resistant we are to giving up, and purpose and passion can drive us to accomplish anything.

Resilience

Courage, confidence, and perseverance make us more resilient. Knowing we have the ability to exercise courage, move forward despite fear, draw upon our confidence, and persevere, no matter the obstacle, the more mentally, emotionally, and physically resilient we are to the challenges in life.

The SEALed Mindset and Parenting

Eric Davis and Larry Yatch created a simple toolbox for men and fathers to gain control over fear and become empowered by reacting with science and strategy. Learning how to lead, follow, and manage the family you’re in is critical to your success in life. None of us gets handed instructions when we have kids. The SEALed Mindset is a manual on how to build effective character, not only to be effective yourself, but to be a reliable leader to your family and a father your kids can depend on to help them turn fearful situations into building moments.

SEALed Mindset Exclusive GDP Offer


Get access to the SEALed Mindset Membership Platform.

Normal price: $150-$250 a month

$25 a month for GDP listeners (90% lifetime discount)

Extra bonus: For FREE first lesson click here> SMLdad.com

 


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Guest links

Sealed Mindset

Twitter

Facebook

Raising Men: Lessons Navy SEALs Learned from Their Training and Taught to Their Sons by Eric Davis on Amazon


 

 

eliminate negative emotions

How to Eliminate Negative Emotions by Targeting False Thoughts


Our thoughts and emotions can tear us down if we don’t know how to manage them. When waves of stress repeatedly hit us, our emotions can override our brains and take over our behavior, leading us to perform badly and make poor decisions. We may experience overwhelm or feel like our life is spinning out of control.

In this quick episode, I discuss the difference between an emotion and a thought, and how we can use the dynamic between emotions and thoughts to eliminate unnecessary stress, depression, anger, and overwhelm.


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RESOURCES

Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links