Posts

Fatherhood is Leadership

How Fatherhood is Leadership with TEDx Speaker Devon Bandison

We had high performance coach and TEDx speaker Devon Bandison on the show way back in the beginning of GDP. Almost 100 episodes later, Devon is back to explain how fatherhood is leadership on so many levels – in our homes and in our communities. He also talks about how to live life to the fullest without burning out and how to control our thoughts so we can control the emotions that are holding us back. This interview is full of heavy-hitting wisdom. Make sure you take notes!

Devon Bandison

Devon Bandison was born and raised in New York City. He grew up with addiction in his home. One day when he came home, his dad had turned their home into a drug house. He felt guilt and shame. He vowed that when he became a dad, whenever that would be, he would become a better father.

That day soon came when he was twenty-three years old and his daughter was born. He was determined and he was present as a new dad, but he had no clue as to what he was doing. His father didn’t give him the tools or the skillsets for life. But he grew up in the unhealthy belief that men don’t tell men when they need help.

Eventually, Devon began working in the trenches of New York in the Bronx with troubled youth. He helped create programs for new dads that showed them how to navigate everything from diaper changing to communication.

Fathers are showing up more today, and are more intimate with their children than any other time in history.

Devon’s Turning Point

After his third kid was born and during a difficult divorce, Devon took a promotion that made him miserable. He was in a scarcity mindset and thought his wife would take everything. He feared he would end up broke and stuck at a job he hated.

It was this turning point that sent him seeking more. He attended a training seminar where the speaker noticed something special about Devon and offered him a free ticket to a retreat in California. Devon made excuses to himself of why he couldn’t go, but he also knew that if he didn’t take the opportunity, he would regret if for the rest of his life.

There, his mentor told him to build his business around his passion. That’s when Devon took his passion for fatherhood and leadership and created the speaking event that would quickly catapult him into his dream life.

Fatherhood is Leadership

In Devon’s coaching career, he managed lots of men who had every definition of outward success. These same men were also silently suffering inside. They had no fulfillment in their everyday life. They had no true connection to their kids, their wife, or their community.

Most dads burn the candle at both ends and end up breaking down their relationships. Their cup is empty. They become stressed, angry, and frustrated, behaving in ways they don’t want to. They feel like they never had time for anything.

Devon knew that there was a big difference between time management and people pleasing. Most of us say yes to things we really don’t want to do. In doing that, we are saying no to the things that are important to us and die a little inside every time we do it.

This inspired Devon to write a book about how a man can become the best version of himself. He wanted to give fathers the tools they needed to live a life beyond their wildest dreams. He wanted to show them that the more you pour into yourself, the better father you will be. Only by investing in yourself can you be an effective agent of change in the world.

Mentioned Episode: The Art of Charm and Professional Relationships with Jordan Harbinger


Looking for the Perfect Kids’ Snack on the go?

Get your RXBAR Kids sample box with 16 whole food protein bars

(for 25% off the price you pay at Target.)

Go to rxbar.com/gooddad


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Devon’s Links:

Website:  devonbandison.com

Facebook Page

Twitter

Devon’s TEDx Talk “Fatherhood is Leadership”


Create an Epic Life

join The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance

How to be the rock for your kids

How to Be the Rock for Your Kids

As much as we want to encourage our kids to do their best, we might be unintentionally causing them undue stress. That is why it’s crucial – whether in sports, school, or life – that our kids see the same us when they look to us for support.


This means that no matter what our kids are going through, we should always be a safe place for them to turn to. We have to be aware of our reactions. When our kids fail, will we look ashamed or disappointed? Do we tell them what they should’ve done? Do we seem overly protective? Or will we always be open, receptive, listening – the rock for our kids?

 

Referenced Episode: How to Instill the Growth Mindset in Your Kids with Larry Yatch


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


SEALed Mindset Exclusive GDP Offer


Get access to the SEALed Mindset Membership Platform

Normal price: $150-$250 a month

 

DISCOUNT EXTENDED: $25 a month for GDP listeners (90% lifetime discount)

Extra bonus: For FREE new lesson click here>  SMLdad.com

Why Fathers Need to Ask for Help

Why Fathers Need to Ask for Help

As men, we hate to admit when we don’t know all the answers. We don’t want to seem weak and vulnerable, but fathers need to ask for help sometimes, and here is why.

None of us want to be at a loss when it comes to what to do about job struggles and relationship issues. We especially don’t want to be failing as fathers. Parenting is an intimate thing. That’s why it’s so difficult to ask for help when we need it. But we need to learn that it’s okay to ask for help. We can’t do it all alone and we don’t have to.

We’ve had the honor of interviewing several Navy SEALs on The Good Dad Project. The SEALs are one of the most successful organizations in the world. They are elite performers who accomplish amazing goals in the most stressful and dangerous situations. How do they successfully complete these extreme missions?

As a team.

They work together solving problems and helping each other, and would not be able to do what they do without their teammates by their side.

Just striving to be a better father and man means you are part of an elite group of men too. Join a local group, a mastermind group, or our Dad Edge Private Facebook Group. Seek out a mentor or a friend. Find a place where you feel safe and ask for help.

 

Referenced Episode: Leading Our Family With Confidence with Chris Sajnog


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


SEALed Mindset Exclusive GDP Offer


Get access to the SEALed Mindset Membership Platform

Normal price: $150-$250 a month

DISCOUNT EXTENDED: $25 a month for GDP listeners (90% lifetime discount)

Extra bonus: For FREE new lesson click here>  .com


The #1 Reason Kids Quit Sports is Because of the Coach.

Learn How to Coach Baseball right with 7 days of FREE access for GDP listeners.

better man

How Your Tribe Will Make You a Better Man with Ryan Michler

Ryan Michler is the creator of the Order of Man Community and Podcast, which teaches men how to live with purpose, achieve self-mastery, and create a legacy. Today he tells why it’s important for men to become part of a tribe and how that tribe will help you become a better man.

Ryan Michler and the Order of Man

Ryan Michler’s father left when he was three-years-old. His first step dad was an alcoholic, and though he wasn’t abusive, he was not present as a parent. His second stepfather was successful, but emotionally abusive, controlling, and manipulative. Still, Ryan didn’t didn’t know what a good dad was supposed to be, so he didn’t know what he was missing. It wasn’t until high school when he saw how his friends’ dads’ behaved that he became aware of the void in his life.

This lack of a father caused Ryan to suffer from a lack of confidence and self-esteem issues. He wanted to be liked and accepted by everyone and changed himself to fit in. After his first marriage failed, he endured the darkest time of his life. He knew he wasn’t operating like a man should. This convinced him to go to work on improving himself.

Now Ryan Michler has been married for twelve years and is a father of four kids. As a dad who grew up without a true father figure, he saw a huge need for learning about what it means to be a man. He started Order of Man to form a tribe of men who can learn from each other and support one another.

Why do men need a tribe?

Women are there for us in a nurturing way, but sometimes we tough love and the insights of other men who have gone what we’ve gone through. Men get emotionally attached to their situations and decisions, it’s difficult to look at our own problems objectively. We need a third-party perspective to give us advice when our thoughts and feelings are clouding our judgement.

How does a tribe work?

Men are raised to be self-reliant and wary of people. We hate to expose our weaknesses or admit when we’re not on top of everything. A tribe is a safe place to share fears and worries about subjects we don’t normally talk about. When we’re going through a time of uncertainty and weakness, we can turn to those with the qualities we’re lacking and learn from them. When we’re feeling strong in life, we can help others by sharing how we’ve overcome a similar experience.

How do we find a tribe?

Operating in packs is how men thrive. To be strong, we need to tie into other people, but it’s up to us to seek out a tribe and be consistent. Ryan suggest dipping your toe in the water. Look at your immediate circle. Who is doing well in areas you’re struggling with? Ask for advice where you see strength in others. Share something light and then build on that. You can also start by joining an online tribe like Order of Man and The Good Dad Project.

Ryan Michler’s Parting Piece of Dad Wisdom

Don’t ever use your kids and family as an excuse not to take care of yourself.

This sounds selfish at first, but it’s actually the most unselfish thing you can do. If you’re constantly draining yourself, you won’t have the mental or physical energy to be a good dad or husband. Begin burned out all the time will build resentment and put a strain on your marriage.

Ryan recommends carving out a time to get together with other men doings something you enjoy. Schedule it in advance. Communicate it to your wife and family so they are in on it you won’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself. He also says it won’t work if you just go through the motions. Give your attention fully to the activity so you’re invigorated and mentally restored when you come home. Then you’ll have refilled your tank so you can serve others again.


RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Ryan Michler

Website:

orderofman.com

Podcast:

Order of Man

Social Media:

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

YouTube

 

jim sheils

How to Magnify Your Presence with Your Kids with Jim Sheils

What if you treated your kids with the same respect as you would your biggest business client or investor?

Jim Sheils is a real estate investor and the author of The Family Board Meeting: Is Business Success Hurting Your Family? He is also the founder of Board Meetings International, which offers retreats and online tools to help busy professionals and entrepreneurs forge lasting bonds with their kids.

The tradition started when he and his co-founder, Brian Scrone, got together to surf with friends and joked it was a “board” meeting. Soon it became clear that these trips were about more than just surfing. The camaraderie and support of their surf tribe soon became their deepest source of strength and wisdom. Soon, many of them began to bring their kids along.

As Jim traveled the world for entrepreneurial events, he noticed that many professionals were having a difficult time being successful while maintaining a connection with their families. Even before he became a father, Jim decided to help business owners and professionals make groundbreaking improvements in their relationships with their kids and developed the system he will share in this episode!

What is a board meeting?

A family board meeting is a pre-scheduled 4-hour minimum chunk of time spent with your child every 90 days.

Why every 90 days?

A 90-day period is enough space for deepening and reflection, and it gives ample time for anticipation to build for the next board meeting.

Rules of the board meeting.

  • It must be scheduled like an official meeting that cannot be pushed aside. This ensures you will be consistent and your child knows that they are your highest priority.
  • It must be one-on-one. Being alone with your child with magnify your presence. This time spent together goes much further than the chaos of the whole family being together.
  • Electronics are forbidden. Electronics help us in many ways, but in this instance, they will hurt us by pulling us out of the moment. It will feel awkward at first, but you must disconnect to reconnect.
  • Let your child chose the activity. Allow your kid to design the day. Don’t drag them to something they don’t enjoy.

Jim Sheils recommends ending the day with a focused reflection Ask your kid what he or she liked about the day. Let them talk as much or as little as they want. When you set up time with your child in this format, they remember it clearly, and these special moments become pillars in the relationships.

Jim Sheils’s parting piece of dad wisdom.

Most dads are driven to succeed and provide for their families. We go so fast that we sometimes lose track of the people we love along the way. Is it possible to achieve a balance between family and business?

Jim Sheils always thinks of a simple line Sonny Corleone says in The Godfather. When it comes to choosing between business or family, “I guess business is going to have to suffer.” It doesn’t mean you give up on your business, it just means you put it in its place, and Jim has noticed that he actually performs better and makes better decisions when he keeps focused on what’s most important to him.

 

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

 

Connect with Jim Sheils

Websites:

Facebook Group

Facebook Page